


What A Time

by timotheemonamour



Category: Armie Hammer - Fandom, Call Me By Your Name (2017), Timothée Chalamet - Fandom, cmbyn
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Artstudent!Timmy, Denial of Feelings, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Hidden Feelings, LawStudent!Armie, London, M/M, Paris - Freeform, Possibly Unrequited Love, Rome - Freeform, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, The Styles Twins, Unrequited Love, idiots to lovers, they are all messes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 03:36:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 132,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18044690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timotheemonamour/pseuds/timotheemonamour
Summary: Timothée returns to Rome a few years after his first heart break. Everything reminds Timmy of him, making him want to stop thinking and forget about had happened to him. He stumbles upon a bar where he finds a handsome young boy Armie serving drinks for some extra cash.And that’s how their story begins. In a world where nothing is as it seems and hearts shatter like glass, the two young boys fight for something to keep them from completely losing hope.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Salut chéries! This is going to be my first actual multi chaptered fanfiction. I've written before a little one shot, which I'll be soon posting the second and final chapter of it so I can focus completely on this one.  
> A few quick disclaimers.  
> This is all a work of fiction created by me, this isn't real life. It's a complete alternative universe which has been on my mind for quite sometime and I just decided to sit down and actually write about it, hoping that some of you will like it.  
> Some chapters may make you uncomfortable so, if you are not into it please do not read it, I can't actually tell you from now what the are because that will only spoil the story.  
> Tags will be added as the chapters process.  
> Last but not least please, if you have a few seconds to spare, leave me a comment down bellow telling me what you think. It would mean the world to me, to know if you guys like it, if I should change something, if you don't like it. All comments are more than welcome.  
> Bisous!

 

He shouldn’t have come.

He shouldn’t have returned to Italy.

Every street, every corner, everything reminded Timmy of him.

He remembered everything.

 The longer he walked, the more crystal clear everything was becoming. He could hear their loud laughs bouncing off the walls, their voices singing drunkenly in the streets late at night, their moans of pleasure in their crappy loft, his loud cries when he had broken Timmy's heart when summer ended and they had to return to their everyday lives as if nothing had happened.

“It was just a summer fling, get the fuck over it.” He had told Timmy.

The memories were killing him.

He wanted to throw up. He was feeling a bile gathering up in his throat, and his eyes were stinging from the tears which were threatening to fall.

It’s been two years, he shouldn’t be feeling this way.

His heart was feeling heavy in his chest. He wished he could rip it out.

His brain was overworking, bringing back memories. He wished he could stop it.

All of it.

He couldn’t handle the pain of a broken heart.

Then what was he doing here? Why had he come back to a place where he was hurting? The answer was simple.

Because even though it hurt, he needed familiarity. That and he missed him. He missed what they had. The good parts at least.

He swore he could smell his scent in the Italian night air, he could feel his touch, his lips touching his skin, he could hear his voice.

Timothée wanted to scream. Scream till his lungs gave out, and his lips were parted open in a silent scream.

Maybe his mind would shut the hell up if he did it.

He chuckled bitterly. He knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere.

I need a drink, he decided.

A strong one.

His long skinny legs carried him towards a bar. It was packed as expected. Loud, obnoxious laughter could be heard from a few tables and lively chatter. The scent of smoke from their cigarettes and of alcohol was all over the place. Timmy felt dizzy.

This wasn’t his scene. At all.

He preferred quiet places, a good book maybe and some music playing quietly in the background. He didn’t care what genre as long as it filled the suffocating silence. This was too much.

He walked to the bar anyway, taking a seat on a stool, just in time one of the barmen turned to him.

A pair of piercing ocean blue eyes were staring at him. The man was handsome, extraordinarily handsome and Timmy couldn’t help but drink in his appearance. Messy light brown hair, smooth tanned skin, a chiselled jaw, rosy lips, broad shoulders and towering height. Timmy believed the guy was taller than him, possibly taller than everyone in the bar.

 An arrogant smirk painted the stranger's lips upon seeing Timothée’s eyes widening in awe of the handsome stranger. Something stirred inside him by seeing the smirk on Armie’s lips.

“What can I get you?” The handsome barman asked leaning closer to Timmy. His voice was baritone, and he talked slowly as if he had all the time in the world. His tone made Timmy swallow hard.

“Bourbon.” Timmy stuttered and took a deep breath trying to get himself together. Why was he reacting so strongly towards him, he asked himself. The man eyed him for a few seconds before speaking again.

“Are you sure you can handle it?” Timmy scoffed at that.

“I’m not a damn child,” Armie smirked once more and raised his large hands up in surrender before grabbing the bottle of Bourbon and poured some in a glass, quickly passing it to Timothée.

He was a sassy one. Armie liked it.

He thanked him quietly and took a long sip from his drink. The strong alcohol burned his throat and made him feel a little dizzier than he was already was. He wasn’t a big fan of strong drinks either. Usually, the scent alone made him sick, but now he needed to forget everything, feel numb.

He watched as Armie poured himself a drink, long fingers wrapping around the glass as he lifted it up to his lips taking a sip and licking his lips afterwards.

“How did you know I’m not from around here?” He questioned Armie in wonder, the alcohol in his system made him feel more confident. He was shy usually, didn’t start conversations with handsome strangers fearing he would fuck up and make a fool of himself.

Armie shrugged taking another sip, looking utterly unphased by the alcohol.

“It’s obvious that you are Europian, but you don’t look Italian. You seem quiet and reserved, I don’t know. You drink whiskey too instead of wine or beer which they seem to prefer.” Armie answered placing his glass down and leaned his elbows on the counter pressing his chin on the back of his hand.

Timmy nodded slowly. The man was observant, he could give him that.

“I’m French actually. And you’re American, right?” Timmy asked Armie taking another sip of his drink before placing it down on the counter.

“I am.” Armie nodded refilling Timmy’s empty glass.

“And what the hell are you doing here?” Timmy asked looking up at the tall man. Armie shrugged his shoulders.

“I needed some extra cash, a friend of mine comes for the summer, Italy sounded fun so here I am.” He said nodding towards the raven-haired barman serving a groud of already drunk Italian’s laughing like there was no tomorrow. He was as tall as Armie, maybe few inches shorter than Armie, he couldn’t quite tell.

 Armie rolled his eyes pouring himself another drink, he couldn’t stand the obnoxious sound of their laughter or their huge smiles full of joy. How could they all be happy all the damn time? Didn’t they have problems?

“Fair enough,” Timmy said interrupting Armie’s thoughts. Armie nodded dumbly still kind of lost in his thoughts. He shook his head and looked at the French petit boy.

“What brings you here?” He asked watching the boy as he drunk from his glass, thin red lips wrapped around the rim of the glass, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.

Armie cleared his throat and looked away busing himself by cleaning a wine glass. He couldn’t be thinking like that. 

“I’m trying to re-live some of the best memories I have. But I think I’m failing.” Timmy let out a bitter chuckle looking at his half-empty glass.  Armie looked at him with sympathetic eyes. The boy was probably going through a heartbreak. He wanted to know what had happened to the boy, but he also didn’t want to interfere. So he did what he knew best.

“More whiskey?” He smiled kindly lifting the bottle up. Timmy smiled at him in gratitude and nodded his head.

“Yes please.” He mumbled staring at the ocean eyed man.

Armie smiled at him and filled Timmy’s glass once more.

“That’s the last glass though, I can tell that you are lightweight and I don’t want to have to carry you home.” Armie joked lightheartedly even though there was nothing else that he wanted more than spend as much time as possible with the boy he would most probably never see again. He had an overwhelming need to care for Timmy which was entirely out of character. Sure, he did care for his family and the few people he called friends; he wasn’t an emotionless asshole even though many people liked to call him that, but never for strangers, at least not that much. Not even if they were pretty.

Timmy was an entirely different story though.

He seemed sweet. His delicate features made him look angelic and vulnerable in a way. The frail frame, thin arms, bony fingers and delicious looking collar bones, pretty green eyes which gleamed under the lights of the bar added to his soft image, which brought out to Armie the need to protect him and keep him safe from whatever could cause him harm.

Timmy felt Armie’s ocean eyes observing him while he drunk and looked up at him, wondering why he was looking at him the way he did. His vision suddenly started going blurry, and he placed his glass down rubbing his face with his hand.

Armie was right, he was lightweight indeed.

“God.” He mumbled under his breath and closed his eyes for a few seconds. He reopened them, blinking slowly, finding Armie still looking at him.

“You okay?” Armie asked, his tone softer than before.

“I-Yeah.” He chuckled nodding, which turned out to be a bad idea.  “I think I should stop drinking.” He continued. He felt as if he was floating, his head was in the clouds keeping, company to the stars.

Armie nodded slowly agreeing with the boy and brought Timmy’s glass closer to him. He raised it up to his lips and drunk the remaining bourbon not wanting it to go to waste. He placed the glass inside of his and turned his attention back to Timmy who was looking at him with hooded eyes.

“Do you live far?” He asked the green-eyed boy before stealing a quick glance around the slowly emptying bar.

“Near the Palazzo Colonna,” Timmy answered. Armie had the urge to roll his eyes because of course, Timmy pronounced it perfectly even though he was drunk, but he suppressed it.

“That’s far. Did you walk here?” He questioned. His mind already racing, thinking about what he could do to make sure the boy would go to his hotel safely. Timmy nodded slowly.

Armie sighed and untied his black apron from around his hips and hanged it on the hanger behind him.

He grabbed his jacket from under the counter and walked towards the raven-haired barman.

“I’m leaving,” Armie said making Henry turn to look at him in surprise. Armie never left earlier, he always stayed up even after the bar closed to clean up and sometimes have a couple of drinks in the quiet after a busy night.

“Whoa, where are you going so early?” Henry asked looking at Armie, with confusion written evidently all over his face.

“I’m taking someone home,” Armie replied making his friend smirk and chuckle, looking around the place. There was a last group of young Italians which seemed to be pretty preoccupied with each other, engrossed in a conversation and talking animatedly, it didn’t look like any of them would be leaving soon, let alone leave with Armie.

“Who are you taking home?” Henry asked feeling even more confused than before.

“The guy over there-” Armie nodded towards the place Timmy was previously seated and turned to look at him, only to find the smaller guy gone. “Fuck.” He cursed under his breath and looked back at Henry.

“Look I really have to go, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He said and quickly made his way out of the counter, and in a few big strides, he was out of the bar, leaving Henry to stare at his disappearing image confused as ever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,chéries!  
> First of all I wanna start by saying a huge thank you for all the reads, comments and kudos I've received, each one of them made me extremely happy, so thank you so much, it means the world to me that you guys liked the story and gave it so much love.  
> Now,onto the practical matters, like I've said on my Tumblr I'll be updating once a week, every Saturday, to some of you it might be still Friday to the time difference. I'm in France, Paris so to me it currently is Saturday and it is like 00:10? Maybe more but it is Saturday. Later on I might started posting on Saturday and Sunday but I'm not sure yet because of a few different reasons. Anyway we'll see about that in the future.  
> Please note that things will start getting a little big confusing from now on but I promise you that as the story processes everything will be explained.  
> Also this is all fiction and I obviously do not own Timmy or Armie, even though I'd love to...  
> Anyway thank you so much for the love you gave my story.  
> And I'll see you in a week from now unless you come hang out with me on tumblr which is @timotheemonamour just like on here.  
> Leave a comment down below telling me what you think and feel free to message me on tumblr anytime you want for whatever you want, I'm always here if any of you ever need anything.  
> Thank you so much for everything.  
> Bisous xx

 

Armie found Timmy leaning on the wall outside of the bar. His hands behind his back leaning on them, as he breathed in the Italian night air. His eyes were closed. Armie thought the boy looked like an angel under the light of the lamppost.

“I told you to wait for me.” Armie scolded Timmy, whose eyes opened wide, looking up at Armie startled. He swallowed before replying.

“I did wait for you, just outside.” He said trying to sound confident, but the shake in his voice gave him away. Armie sighed shaking his head. He just scolded a young drunk boy, whom he didn’t know well and had done absolutely nothing wrong since he technically did wait for him.

The boy was making him lose his mind.

“C’mon, we’ll go to my flat. It’s closer, just a couple of blocks away.” Timmy opened his mouth to argue but quickly closed it again when Armie glared at him.

“Fine.” He mumbled and pushed himself away from the wall.

Good, at least he is good at taking orders, Armie thought and started walking towards his flat, with Timmy following him.

Both boys remained quiet as they walked through the city.

Even though it was still summer, it was windy making the night quite chilly. Timmy shivered a couple of times during their walk, wild curls blowing freely in the wind, sometimes getting in his eyes. Armie noticed that the small boy was shivering and he placed his jacket on the boy's thin shoulders. Timmy smiled gratefully up at him, nuzzling in the jean jacket which smelled like Armie’s expensive cologne, a hint of whiskey and him.

Now, it will smell like me too, Timmy thought.

“Thank you,” Timmy said softly. Armie just nodded.

He was still a bit mad, even though he had no right to be. Timmy could have left yet he waited for him.

They continued their short journey in silence both of them lost in their own thoughts.

And while Armie was thinking about what had made Timmy want to get so drunk till he couldn’t walk straight, Timmy was sobering up due to the cold wind blowing right in his face and started looking at Armie with different eyes.

Under the fluorescent lights of the bar, Armie looked like a demigod. But now with the moonlight illuminating his perfectly symmetrical face he truly looked like a God, with his big blue eyes shining like the most precious sapphires he had ever seen. Timmy swore he could write cliché romance-novels about those eyes. His skin was smooth and golden from the Italian sun, with just a hint of stubble around his lips and on his chin.

He brought his lips between his teeth looking up at Armie. He wanted to feel Armie’s lips on his. He wanted those big hands of his to wrap around his long throat as Armie slid in his tight little body. He wanted to feel Armie’s stubble on his soft skin, leaving angry red marks for later.

He’d probably take a picture of the marks to remind himself of this summer night.

He took Armie’s hand in his making him look down at Timmy.

Timmy’s lips were parted as he looked up at Armie with glazed eyes. Raising his other hand, he cupped Armie’s face, tracing gently with his thumb Armie’s upper lip wanting to feel the stubble beneath his fingertip, but also between his skinny thighs, on his chest and the small of his back. He shivered just by thinking Armie’s lips running slowly down his back, his large hands gripping his hips as he slid in and out of his body.

Armie held his breath looking at the heart-shaped faced angel. What was he doing to him? Timmy’s fingers felt like expensive silk against his face, he could only imagine how soft the rest of him would feel against his own skin, their bodies pressed together in a mess of bed sheets and intertwined limbs.

He felt his cock harden in his pants just by thinking of the small boy underneath him, his body writhing in pleasure, big doe-like eyes foggy, skin glistening with diamond shaped beads of sweat.

Timmy leaned up on his tiptoes still holding Armie’s hand tightly in his, the other hand moving from Armie’s face to his hair, grabbing a few golden locks between his fingers, tugging Armie closer to him.

Armie quickly understood what Timmy’s intentions were and pressed them on the wall behind them, crushing his lips on Timmy’s in a hard kiss, their mouths moving in perfect sync.

Armie felt as if Timmy had made his mind shut down. He couldn’t think straight, all of his inhibitions suddenly disappeared. He didn’t care about how drunk the boy was or that he didn’t know his name. All he could think of was Timmy. He wanted to feel more of him, all of him.

Timothée moaned on his lips, gripping Armie’s hair tighter and pressed their crotches together, trying to find the coveted relief. Armie groaned placing his hands on Timmy’s hips gripping them tightly in his hands, making sure to leave marks.

Armie pulled back breathing heavily through his nose, his punishing grip on Timmy’s hips not loosening. Timmy traced with the tip of his tongue Armie’s lips before diving back in, kissing him more intensely than before.

Armie pressed his hand on Timmy’s chest making them part a bit from each other.

“C’mon it’s just a few minutes away from here,” Armie mumbled, his voice had dropped a few octaves making it even lower sounding like every sin Timothée wanted to commit.

“Yeah, okay.” He nodded quickly pressing a quick kiss on Armie’s lips. Armie took Timmy’s small hand in his and pulled him away from the wall, fixing his pants with his other hand.

Timothée’s blood was singing in his veins, excitement was rushing through his bones all the way to his confined cock. He couldn’t wait till they got at Armie’s flat so he could get him naked. Timmy had already felt Armie’s cock pressing on his, and he could tell that he was big. He wanted to feel Armie inside him filling him up completely, he wanted to feel the weight of Armie’s cock on his tongue. He wanted everything he could get from a good one night stand.

Armie led him inside a block of flats and quickly pressed the button for the lift. As soon as the doors opened, he pushed Timmy on the mirror and pressed his body against Timmy’s capturing their lips in yet another heated kiss.

Throughout the lift ride, all that could be heard was the obscene sounds of their lips colliding against each other and soft pleasured sighs escaping through their mouths.

When the doors opened, and they were finally at Armie’s floor, Armie lifted the smaller boy up as if he weighed nothing. Timmy wrapped his legs around Armie’s waist grinding his cock on Armie’s stomach begging for friction.

A moan escaped Armie’s lips as Timmy latched his lips on the skin of his neck, his long delicate fingers were back in Armie’s hair while Armie tried to unlock the door; body burning with desire.

At last, he unlocked the door and pushed it open, carrying Timmy inside his small flat. He kicked the door shut. Timmy pushed the borrowed jean jacket off his shoulders as Armie made his way towards his room laying Timmy on his double plush bed.

Timmy tugged at Armie’s hair once more bringing their faces closer till he was able to brush his lips over Armie’s.

“Numb my skin.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you are all well and had a very lovely week. I need to thank again everyone for the lovely comments and oh my god 30 kudos?! I swear it's Christmas!  
> Here's when the angst commences and it will last for a while so you better all buckle up because it is going to be a bumpy ride.  
> Leave me a comment down below or hit me up on tumblr if you have any questions which I can answer or just come hang out with me. I would very much like to know what you guys think, if you love it or hate it, your ideas and what you believe will happen in the upcoming chapters!  
> Thank you much for reading I'll see you all next Saturday!

Armie pulled away from Timmy, taking off his simple black t-shirt off. Timothés’s hands were immediately on Armie’s chest, slowly running down his stomach feeling his heated skin under his palms. He could feel every muscle of Armie’s toned stomach as he moved closer to Timmy again, warm lips latching on the skin beneath his ear, sucking hard on the skin. Timmy moaned out loud, his nimble fingers moving to Armie’s belt quickly unbuckling it and pulling it off the belt loops.

Armie hooked his fingers on the edge of Timmy’s shirt and pulled it off his little body, revealing a long smooth-skinned, pale torso, with a few freckles littering the boy's skin and a pair of small hardened from the arousal nipples. Armie couldn’t resist himself and ran his thumb over one of the hard buds before leaning forward, wrapping his lips around the other bud. Timmy leaned his head back on the pillows, back arching slightly off the bed, a shiver running through him. His hands clutching the grey bed sheets, thin legs wrapping tighter around Armie’s hips pulling him in closer, needing more, more, more.

Timmy’s lips parted open in a silent moan as Armie sneaked one of his hands underneath the boy’s shorts and boxers, gripping his hardened cock in his big palm and stroked him slowly.

“Please,” Timmy moaned breathily, he wasn’t sure what he was asking for. All he knew was that he wanted everything Armie could offer him. And he wanted it now.

“Please what?” Armie asked as he ran his lips down Timmy’s stomach leaving a trail of hot wet kisses on his wake. He lifted the boy’s hips up pushing his jean shorts and boxers down his delicate legs, leaving the boy completely nude.

“I need you.” The boy whimpered, his body burning up. He needed Armie to cool him down, to put out the fire on his skin. Without wasting a single second Armie unzipped his own jeans pulling them down his longs legs and cupped his large length through his boxers giving it a firm squeeze before removing them completely.

Timothée’s hazy eyes slightly widened at the size of Armie’s cock. He was going to have this inside of him, his tight walls would squeeze the pretty cock and milk an orgasm out of the older boy.

Armie spread the boy's legs. He brought two of his long fingers up to his mouth spitting on them and then moved them to the boy’s entrance, slowly rubbing them on his tight pucker, getting it wet. Timmy closed his eyes at the feel of Armie’s fingers on him. He felt the burning of his skin slowly subside. The sound of a condom being opened surprised him, making him open his eyes to find Armie already rolling the rubber down his cock.

Isn’t he going to prep me? Timmy wondered, feeling his heart race inside his chest. He feared he wouldn’t be able to fit Armie inside him. He was tight, and Armie was big, bigger than anyone he had.

Before he could voice his worries, Armie was pushing inside him, the fat tip stretching the first ring of tight muscles. Timmy sucked in a deep breath through his nose fisting the sheets once more and bit down hard on his lower lip.

Armie slowly pushed the rest of his cock inside the small boy, a loud moan escaping his lips from the tightness that surrounded him. He felt as if he was in heaven. Timmy shut his eyes tightly. The stretch was too much for him, it was uncomfortable and painful.

Armie leaned forward once more capturing their lips in a biting kiss as he withdrew his hips before moving forward again, pushing more and more of his cock inside of Timmy. His thrusts were hard and shallow, something which Timmy would have found enjoyable if he was well prepared, but he wasn’t, and all he could feel was pain. He felt as if he was being split in two.

He kissed Armie back, trying to focus on something else instead of the pain he was feeling. He would probably get used to the stretch in a few seconds. At least that’s what he told himself and continued kissing Armie who was picking up the pace of his thrusts thinking that the moans the smaller boy was letting out were moans of pleasure instead of pain.

Timmy turned his head to the side, arms wrapping around Armie’s shoulder’s, his fingers digging into his skin. Armie moaned at that and took the opportunity to kiss and nibble at newly exposed skin of Timmy’s long freckled neck.

He held Armie tighter as the latter moved his hips harder, making figures eight, the tip of his cock nudging the boys prostate, making Timmy finally let a moan of pleasure.

“Touch yourself,” Armie commanded, angling his hips trying to nail the boy’s spot with every thrust. Timmy nodded and wrapped his fingers around his neglected half-hard length, stroking himself feeling some kind of pleasure rushing through his veins at last.

Armie’s thrusts started faltering, becoming irregular, a sign that he was close. He gripped Timmy’s hips tightly in his hands and chased his orgasm with a few last powerful thrusts.

He came with a shout, his face was hidden in Timmy’s long neck, thick thighs spasming from the force. Timmy gripped Armie’s hair on the nape of his neck as he made himself cum, his fingers and Armie’s stomach getting coated with his warm come. Armie breathed heavily on Timmy’s neck, his breath slightly tickling Timmy who was slowly coming back to earth. His actions downing on him in the aftermath of his orgasm.

His word suddenly stopped spinning as he the haze of his drunkenness completely lifted off him along with the neediness and heat the alcohol had made him feel.

He looked down at Armie whose eyes were shut, his body exhausted from their previous actions, mind still foggy from the incredible orgasm he just had and boy, it was long he had orgasmed this good.

Armie’s lids felt heavy, the tiredness of his day, the shift at the pub and the incredible sex he just had was slowly setting in his bones. God, he was exhausted. He decided he should rest his eyes for a few minutes.

His body and mind, of course, betrayed him and the few minutes would soon turn into hours of deep sleep.

Timothée on the other side was wide awake. And he was regretting what he had done. He suddenly started feeling dirty, he felt the need to claw his skin out. He slowly pushed Armie’s big body off his and stood up, gathering his clothes and got dressed. His legs felt like jelly, and he was sorer than he had ever been. Not even on his first time he had hurt that bad. Usually, he didn’t mind pain, he got off on it. He liked getting choked, he liked a tight grip, and he thoroughly enjoyed a hard fuck. But this was straight up painful.

He made his way out of Armie’s bedroom, towards the door. He picked up Armie’s discarded jean jacket from the floor and put it on, feeling the need to cover himself up just in case anyone would see him, that and because he felt cold and the jacket was warm.

He closed the door of Armie’s flat, careful not to make any sound. He took a few slow breaths before walking towards the lift. He pressed the button and the doors much to his surprise opened immediately.

He stepped in the lift and leaned on the very mirror Armie had pushed him against before and claimed his mouth. Tears blurred his vision, but he blinked them away, using one of his hands to rub his eyes, a long sigh escaping his lips.

He wanted, desperately needed to shower, to take Armie’s scent off his body, wash away his touch, his kisses. Everything.

When the doors opened once more signalling, he had arrived on the lobby. He quickly walked outside, the cold night air hitting him in the face like a thousand knives. He pulled the jacket closer to his body and walked down the dark paved road.

All he wanted to do was go to his hotel, take a shower to wash everything away and change his ticket to Paris. He had to get the hell out of Rome as soon as possible. He started running down the empty streets, making his sore body hurt even more but that’s what he needed. He needed to remember what he had done was wrong. He had made a vow to his self, and he broke it.

He slowed down, breath coming out in heavy puffs. He leaned his back on a stone wall and rubbed his lips trying to get Armie’s taste off them, trying to erase the feeling of their mouths pressed together. He then moved his hands down his neck rubbing at his skin attempting to get rid of Armie’s lips, kissing and nibbling on his soft skin.

He teared up and slowly slid down the wall.

What he had done with Armie he had done it willingly. Yet he felt as if had been molested.

He wished he hadn’t come alone to Rome. He desperately needed the twins. Or maybe his sister. Someone who could hold him back from doing stupid things like this.

Taking a few deep breaths not wanting to cry in the middle of an empty street, Timmy stood up on his shaky legs and wiped his eyes once more.

He wished when he went back to his hotel room someone would be there waiting for him. They would take him into their warm embrace and comfort him while he cried. He wanted to tell someone what he had done, but he was afraid his friends would see him differently because he had broken the promise he had made with himself.

He truly needed the twins. They’d know how to handle his situation, how to handle him and heal his broken heart. He regretted telling them no when they had so kindly asked to accompany him, knowing that Timmy’s memories would drown him.

He was all alone now. Feeling dirty and worthless.

He told himself he had to stay strong for a few hours until he was able to get on a plane and return to Paris. Back on his familiarity where he only had good memories and people who could keep him safe and make him feel loved in his darkest hours.

“I’ll learn to breathe on my own.” He whispered into the dark night as he made his way back to his hotel.

When he finally arrived at his destination, he quickly unlocked the door using his card and took all of his clothes off, throwing them to the ground, Armie’s jacket included.

He stepped into the shower and turned the water on, turning it to hot. He stood there under the hot water, finally allowing his self to freely cry as he scrubbed himself clean. His sensitive skin turning red from the heat of the water and his fingers scratching at it as if he was trying to rip it off. A loud sob escaped his lips, his small body crumbled to his knees, hands coming up to cover his face crying into them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: timotheemonamour


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter even though it was a bit graphic and rough for everyone.. Thank you so much for all the lovely comments, yes I did read all of them and I'm soo thankful for you guys, I'm so sorry I did not answer but if I answered I would have to give away information and as much you guys would love it, I don't think I would. I promise I will try to answer to all of your feedback next time.  
> We are in chapter four right now and you will get some of the answers you guys deserve. I'm so happy to introduce to you guys my twins. I hope you guys will love them and embrace them because they are going to be a big part of this story. On the next chapter we'll finally get to see more of Henry too so stay tuned for that!  
> Please make sure to leave a comment down below telling me what you think on this chapter and what your first impressions of the twins are!  
> Thank you all so much for reading, I'll see you all next Saturday  
> Byee x

Morning light sneaked in Armie’s room, rays of harsh sunlight coming through the curtains he had forgotten to shut last night. He blinked his tired eyes open and used his hand as a shield to protect them from the sun as he slowly leaned up on his elbows looking around. Timmy wasn’t laying next to him, which he didn’t find too unsettling. It was a one night stand after all, but he had to admit that he felt weird by not having the smaller boy next to him. Armie got up and put on the boxers he had on last night. He walked out of his room towards the living room and then the kitchen hoping to find Timmy there, wearing his black shirt which would look so adorable on him, making himself a cup of coffee. Of course, luck wasn’t on his side. There was no sight of Timmy.  He didn’t bother checking the bathroom since the door was already open and no light or sound was coming from it.

He started making himself a coffee needing to wake himself up a bit more. He went back to his room while he waited for the water on the kettle to boil.

 Armie pulled the dirty grey sheets off the bed and moved to the bathroom. He brought the sheets up to his nose, breathing in the scents of their intertwined bodies, his head filling up with images from last nighs events.

His cock started hardening in his boxers as he recalled with how much hunger Timmy had kissed him. He moved his other hand down his boxers, his long fingers slipping in starting to slowly tug at his cock, a sigh of pleasure escaped his lips.

 The sound of something metallic falling to the ground made him stop his movements and removed his hand from his boxers. He looked down trying to see what had fallen. His eyes caught something small shining on the ground. He bunched the sheet up in his hands and squatted down to examine it.

It was a pendant.

A silver chain with a delicate tulip hanging in the middle of it. The clip of the chain was broken. Armie guessed it must have broke while he fucked the boy into the mattress.

Armie ran his finger over the tiny tulip.

“Who the hell are you?” He mumbled quietly.

 

Timothée stepped in his small flat, placing his sac de voyage on the floor and carefully closed the door behind him. He leaned on the door and took a deep breath finally feeling at ease, surrounded by the familiar scent of his home. The colognes and body scents of the by a year older twins mixing in the air.

He couldn’t wait to see them, hug them again.

He felt as if he hadn’t seen them for years when in reality he was gone only for two days.

He noticed a dark mop of curls peeking from the arm of the beige sofa pressed on the wall. He walked closer, his heart warming up at the sight of Harry and Alexander curled together on the sofa. A white sheet draped messily over their bodies, half of it resting on the floor due to Harry twisting and turning throughout the night trying to get comfortable on top of his brother’s sleeping body.

Timmy bit down on his lower lip hugging himself while he stared a little longer at their sleeping bodies. Messy long and short curls were all over their identical faces. Strong jawlines and plump lips looked softer due to their sleeping states.

Timmy sniffled a bit and reached out brushing a few of Harry’s dark brown curls away from his face. The older boy stiffened in his sleep but quickly relaxed, his subconscious instantly recognising Timmy’s touch.

Harry’s big doe green eyes blinked open, sleepily gazing up at the boy with bloodshot eyes hugging himself protectively.

“I'm sorry I woke you up,” Timmy whispered his voice raw from the crying.

Harry sat up on the sofa gently pushing Alexander’s still sleeping body off him and opened his arms inviting Timmy to get into them.

“S'okay,” Harry whispered his British accent heavy with sleep. Timmy crawled in the boy's opened arms and hid his face in Harry's muscular chest. Harry closed one of his arms around Timmy and used the other to shake his brother awake.

Alexander stirred in his sleep, and he cursed his brother under his breath before opening his sleepy heterochromatic eyes and turned his head to face his brother only to find him already looking at him. His sleepy blue and green eyes met Harry’s green eyes which were wide awake even though he had just woken up. His brain was high with alert when he saw Timothée’s red-rimmed eyes.

Alex sat up seeing the smaller boy hidden in his brother's big arms soft cries escaping his lips.

“What happened?” Alex asked moving closer to the two, his hand finding it’s way on Timmy’s back gentle stroking it trying to sooth the boy. Timmy shook his head and hid himself deeper in Harry's warm embrace.

Harry ran his fingers through Timmy’s hair and pressed a soft kiss on top of his head tightening his hold on the boy.

“My little love, tell us what happened.” He mumbled carefully not wanting to pry in, but he needed to know whose head he had to break if someone had hurt the smaller boy. Though he had a certain someone in mind.

Timmy sniffled and pulled back a bit to take a good look at his favourite boys. The boys who had been with him since he was sixteen and have held him and protected him ever since they met.

He cupped Alex’s face in his warm hand, the latter nuzzling into the familiar touch looking at the boy with worried blue and green eyes.

Timmy then pressed a kiss on Harry's soft skin and closed his eyes feeling serenity slowly washing over him.

He felt safe and loved, something he wasn't feeling a few hours ago.

“You look exhausted, love,” Alex mumbled leaning in, placing a kiss on Timmy’s bony shoulder.

 “I haven’t slept all night.” He answered tiredly. Alex nodded in understanding brushing a few stubborn curls away from the boy’s face.

“Why darling?” The oldest of the three, Harry, questioned. Timmy remained quiet for a few seconds playing with Alex’s fingers.

“You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, lovely,” Harry added sensing the boy's hesitation. Timmy shook his head looking up at him.

“I did something bad. And you’re both going to hate me for it.” Timmy whispered his voice cracking at the end of his sentence as fresh tears started rolling down his cheeks. The twins made sounds of disagreement on the back of their throats, and while Harry kissed away the boy's tears, Alex brought their intertwined fingers up to his lips kissing the boy’s knuckles. They could never hate the smaller boy. He was their everything, they adored him more than they loved their selves. He had a special place in the twin's hearts.

“We could never hate you, Timmy, it’s like hating a piece of ourselves.” Alex voiced his thoughts looking at the boy with pure adoration in his mismatched eyes.

“Even if you did the worst thing in the world we could never turn to hate you. We love you, you're a piece of our souls, our family.” Harry continued for his brother making Timmy smile through his tears at the boys bond weird twin bond.

“I love you too, guys.” He whispered extending one of his arms bringing Alex closer to him and Harry.

Alex smiled softly and wrapped his arms around both of them holding them tightly.

Timmy let his eyes fall shut. Feeling himself being pressed between the two older boys made him forget all the pain he had gone through the past few hours. Their big bodies were warm and felt like a shield around Timmy. A shield of hard muscles, pretty eyes, soft curls and kind hearts.

“I slept with someone,” Timmy whispered, voice barely above a whisper but both boys heard him perfectly.

They looked at him expectantly for something for, but it never came.

“That’s it?” Alex asked confused. Timmy looked up at him nodding softly.

“I know it’s something simple, but it means so much to me I-" Timmy started trying to explain to the boys what had happened, but he felt sick just by thinking of it and hid his face back in Harry’s chest.

The older boy understood what was going on and he smiled softly caressing the boy’s back.

“Timmy had vowed to himself that he wouldn’t have sex again till he found someone who truly loves him. He didn’t want it to turn out like it had before. He doesn’t want to be used just for sex.” He explained softly to his brother even though Alexander already knew all these.

“I feel dirty,” Timmy whispered. “He was rough, it hurt, he didn’t prep me at all he just went right it, and he was big. I felt as if I was being torn in half.” He cried out clutching Harry's strong shoulders on his hands. Alex could feel his blood boiling in his veins and so could Harry. Their minds racing with the thought of someone hurting their petit amour.

“Relax sweet, you’re okay now he won’t get his hands on you again. And no baby, you’re not dirty, and we certainly do not hate you.” Harry mumbled nuzzling his nose on Timmy’s cheek, his and his brother's big hands caressing Timmy’s small body trying to make him feel at ease.

“I'll make you a cup of tea,” Alexander whispered pressing a kiss on Timmy’s soft messy curls and excused himself,  getting up and walking to their kitchen. He needed to be alone before he snapped.

He poured water in the kettle and pressed the button turning it on. He leaned back on the counter bringing his lower lip between his teeth slowly chewing on it.

He wasn’t mad at Timmy, no not at all. He was angry at the guy who had broken Timmy’s fragile heart for the very first time and had made him feel used and worthless. He was mad at him because he had made the little one lose his faith in people, he had trust issues. The only good thing was the promised Timmy had made to himself, that he wouldn’t let the others treat him like trash. Alex was mad at himself and at Harry for allowing Timmy go to Rome alone only to have him back three days earlier crying his pretty crystalline green eyes out because some arsehole had dared to use his body as he pleased not caring if Timmy was in pain or not.

If Alex could have both of the men in front of him, he would gladly break their bones one by one.

Back in the living room, Timmy was holding onto Harry for dear life as he cried, hating himself all over again as he remembered himself kissing the stranger first. He brought it all upon himself. He had gone to Rome, he had gotten drunk, he had kissed the stranger. The stranger -Armie- had just used his body with Timmy's blessing and he had no right to be mad at him.

Harry whispered sweet nothings into Timmy's ears trying to calm the boy down, but it was no use. Timmy kept mumbling softly how awful he was for breaking the promise he had created for himself and whispered over and over how dirty he felt.

Suddenly Harry got an idea.

“You feel dirty, sweet?” He mumbled nosing at Timmy’s soft cheek. He felt Timmy nod, silky curls tickling Harry’s face.

“How about I run you a relaxing bath, put some music on and hold you till you feel nothing but love?” Harry pulled back to look at the smaller boy. He gently thumbed away at the tears which had fallen down the boy’s cheeks and pressed a kiss on his forehead letting his lips linger on his skin of a few seconds.

“Will Alex join us too in the bath?” Timmy whispered looking at Harry. Harry nodded lifting Timmy up bridal style and made his way towards the bathroom on the far end of the house.

“If you wish.” Timmy nodded again running his thumb over Harry’s sharp jawline.

“Please.” He whispered softly leaning his head on Harry’s shoulder.

“Of course, my love.” Harry placed Timmy on the sink and opened the water in the bathtub. As they waited for the bath to fill, Timmy carefully undressed himself, making sure the fabric of his clothes wouldn’t touch the reddened skin of his sides and neck.

Harry turned towards the boy watching him as he undressed. His eyes drinking in Timmy’s delicate body, small nipples, bony shoulders, long freckled torso, thin hips turning into beautiful pale thighs which lead to a pair of long legs. Harry noticed the red marks on Timmy’s slim hips and neck, and he moved closer to inspect them.

He ran a careful finger over them looking at Timmy, trying to get a reaction out of him.

“How did these happen?” He asked, his tone soft as ever.

Timmy swallowed before answering.

“I scrubbed myself too hard while showering back at the hotel. I wanted to get the feel of him off me.” He whispered leaning his chin on the top of his chest and closed his eyes not wanting to face the older boy.

Harry pursed his lips and gently tilted the boys head up to his, looking at him in the eyes.

“That’s understandable, sweet.” He mumbled and kissed Timmy's forehead. “We'll put some cream on afterwards, yeah? We’ll take care of you.” He smiled at him.

Timmy was so thankful for having Harry in his life, Alexander too. They knew what to say and do to make him feel better. They could put his broken heart and body back together. They were caring, good and mysterious. Especially Alexander but it only added to his appeal.

It made him far more desirable than he already was, with his big heterochromatic eyes and short chestnut hair, his love for anything vintage, neat letters and clean-cut appearance. He had that look in his eyes which screamed mystery, and when would you think that you actually know what he has in mind, the corner of his lips would lift up in one of his mischievous smirks which could only mean one thing.

“It appears that you do not know me at all, Timothée, dear.” He would say, voice low and slow, every world slipping off his lips sounded like warm honey dripping on your skin.

He was something else.

He was a lonely man, not too fond of being around other people, he got irritated easily when they had to be around too many people, something Timmy found odd since his brother was a social butterfly who loved the attention from the others. Alexander was a whole different story though. He had many bad days, his unique heterochromatic eyes would be the colour of a stormy ocean, and he would just isolate himself in his room, only coming out to eat and shower and occasionally make a small talk with Timmy or Harry.

Alex also had nightmares, a lot of them actually. He never talked about them, and whenever Timmy asked him, he told him that it was nothing but, it _clearly_ was something since he would wake up drenched in sweat, his toned body trembling from the sobs escaping his lips. He would hide in Harry’s arms –sometimes Timmy’s- and cling on them for dear life. And Harry would hold him in his arms only leaving to go to the kitchen to make him a warm cup of jasmine tea. Then they would stay awake all night, listening to Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey on Harry’s record player. Alex would write while Harry would quietly sing along to Lana’s songs, holding Timmy in his arms as the small boy slept.

Timmy still to this day has no idea what Alex writes at the Nuits De Terreurs Nocturnes as he likes to call them. When he had asked Alex, the older boy had answered that they are descriptions of his nightmares which he would turn into a book one day. Timmy didn’t believe him at all but didn’t pry in further. Because that was Alexander’s beauty. His secrets.

Harry, on the other hand, was like an open book. He liked to share his thoughts, his heart, his feelings. He couldn’t keep anything bottled up inside him. He had no secrets. He was as clear as the night sky on a beautiful August summer night. He had a big group of friends from his class at university.

“Thank you, Haz,” Timmy whispered leaning his head on Harry’s shoulder and hooked his fingers on the boy's sweatpants, pulling them down his hips. Harry pushed them off his legs and kicked them to the side. He now stood nude with an equally naked Timmy stroking the skin of the older boys hips.

“No problem, sweet. Bubbles?” Harry stroked Timmy’s chin. Timmy nodded answering with a soft, yes, please. Harry opened the cupboard and took out the bottle of Timmy’s favourite British Rose scented bubble bath. He uncapped it and poured a bit in the bathtub.

Timmy’s senses immediately got enveloped by the fantastic aroma of roses, his mind relaxing even more. He felt as if he was going to slip into subspace.

“Come here pretty,” Harry mumbled and helped Timmy off the counter, kissing the boy’s soft hands.

“Where’s Alex?” Timmy looked up at the taller boy as they stepped in the bathtub, Harry sitting down first, spreading his legs to make room for Timmy. Timmy sat down between the boy's open legs getting comfortable. Harry leaned his head back on the headrest and slowly run his hands down the boys back.

“Here.” Alexander’s voice came from the bathroom door. He was leaning on the door frame, his naked body looking elongated from the way he was stretched out on the door.

Timmy couldn’t help but admire his beautiful toned body. His lean frame with strong legs and muscular thighs, the long length resting on his thigh. And then his toned stomach, abs and firm pecs on which Timmy loved to rest his head upon when they watched movies, his strong arms and finally his handsome face.

The twin’s bodies were similar. Both of them worked out a lot, Alexander a little bit more than Harry to deal with his anger issues even though Timmy didn’t believe he had any. He had never seen Alex get mad, only moody.

Harry wasn’t as ripped as Alex, his soft skin was inked with pretty tattoos. They were all over his body but he wasn’t covered in them, they were small meaningful ones. The boy loved getting tattoos. He even had his own equipment, and he would sometimes tattoo himself or some of his friends who had enough faith in him to let him do such a thing to them.

Alexander had a tattoo too. On his back a pair of angel wings, they started from his shoulder blades and went to the back of his arms near his elbows.

The younger twin walked towards the bathtub and leaned down, placing the warm cup of Jasmine tea in Timmy’s awaiting hands. The smaller boy took a sip of the steaming mug, the hot beverage slightly burning his tongue but he couldn’t care less.

Alex stepped in the bath thumb and sat down across from Timmy and his older twin. He brought his long legs up to his chest mimicking Timmy’s position and rested his curly head on his knees staring lovingly at the smaller boy slowly coming back to his normal self as he conversed with his older twin.

“What a time you had in Rome again.” Alex mumbled softly, his twin agreeing with him.

“I missed you both,” Timmy whispered after a few beats of silence looking down at his cup.

“We missed you too, pretty.” The younger twin said, his long fingers reaching out to gently stroke the boy's soft cheek. Timmy’s eyes closed at the gentle touch.

He needed it so bad.

He blinked his eyes open wanting to watch Alex as his soft fingers traced his features.

“I shouldn’t have left.” The smaller of the three whispered. The twins agreed softly. Harry leaned forward, his arms wrapped around Timmy’s middle. He placed a gentle kiss on the back of the boy’s neck, nose nuzzling in his hairline.

Timmy leaned back on Harry’s hard chest, feeling small between the two curly haired men. They could crush him in half if they wanted to.

“I feel so small.” He voiced his thoughts. He felt Harry smile on his skin.

“You are small, Timmy.” Harry’s lips felt like rose petals caressing his skin as the older boy spoke.

“Small and delicate, almost like a china doll,” Alex added his heterochromatic eyes locking with Timmy’s green ones. Timmy smiled softly, faint blush covering his cheeks.

“I’m easy to break like one too,” Timmy whispered sadly. The silky curls of the boy behind him tickled the skin of his back.

“You have us to put your broken pieces back one by one.” Timmy smiled a bittersweet smile.

“You'll still be able to see through the cracks.” Alex made a small noise of disagreement on the back of his throat.

“We all have cracks, some of us are better at hiding them. And besides that, the cracks sometimes might add to your beauty. Like some ancient ruins in Greece and other countries with exquisite sculptures and temples, they have their cracks due to the time which have passed since they were made. Some of them are crumbling, they are allegedly haunted and cursed, but that's exactly what makes them worth so much. And your worth Timmy, it is priceless.” Alex said softly using his fingers to tilt Timmy’s head up to his. Their gazes meeting once more. Timmy placed his cup on the edge of the bathtub and untangled himself from Harry’s arms intending to move into Alexander’s. The water sloshed around them as Alexander spread his knees making room for the small boy to make himself comfortable in the younger twin’s embrace.

“You’re so pure,” Timmy whispered, his little body coming in contact with Alexander’s. He cupped the man’s handsome face in his hands and leaned forward placing a soft almost feather-like kiss on Alex’s lips.

“I’m far from pure, sweetheart.” The older boy whispered, holding the boy close to his chest, a large paw resting on the small of Timmy’s back. Harry looked up at his younger twin the moment the words left his lips. Alex sent a small smile at his brother’s direction, Harry smiling gently back at him.

“Both of us.” Harry mouthed at his younger twin, the latter nodding softly in agreement. He pressed a soft kiss on Timmy’s curls.

Timmy moved around in Alexander’s arms till he was able to lay with his back on the older boy’s chest. He stretched out his arms, inviting Harry to join them. Harry immediately obliged, lying his body between the boys spread legs, his cheek resting upon Timmy’s chest. He wrapped one of his arms around Timmy, the other tangling with his brother’s fingers.

They were a mess of intertwined limbs, lost in a bubble of love and a few secrets hidden under the surface.

Timmy gently caressed Harry’s face before carefully leaning down to press a tender kiss on his soft lips. Harry smiled softly at the feel of Timmy’s lips on his, forest green eyes falling shut.

Alex looked at the three of them in the three-way mirror hanging on the wall behind the bathtub. He wished his eyes could take pictures because he’d definitely love to capture the sweet moment.

His two loves, laying on top of him, curled close together, all of their limbs laced like they were meant to be together. Harry and Timmy’s bodies were relaxed; their eyes closed, their faces calm as they slowly drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

He wished the moment would last forever.

The three of them would stay warm and safe in their peaceful, gentle little sin, surrounded by warm water and the scent of roses clinging on their naked bodies. Nothing would bring them pain, they would be untouchable, only giving love to each other.

It sounded like the most beautiful dream. But he knew that was all it would ever be.

A beautiful dream.

Because the world was cold and harsh, made for people with stone hearts and minds.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Read!  
> Hello everyone! How are you? I hope you all had a lovely week. As usual I wanna start by saying a huge thank to everyone who commented to the previous chapter, you guys really made my day and I'm beyond thankful for you. Your comments truly mean the world to me and the world to me, and the fact that you embraced the twins so warmly made me even happier! I also wanna thank you all for the kudos and the 850 hits! I've never thought this story would get so much love so thank you for supporting me! I appreciate each and every single one of you so so much!  
> Now onto the fun part, like I said in the notes of the last chapter we'll get to meet Henry today and we'll get to know Armie a little bit better. I know by the end of the chapters you will have a lot of questions about what is going on and I'll try to answer them if I can.  
> I was actually thinking if you guys wanted to we could have a little ask party over on Tumblr where you guys can sent me your questions and thoughts, who's your favourite character so far. your expectations from me and the story and maybe we can get to know each other a little bit better, I would absolutely adore to interact with you guys. My Tumblr handle is the same as here @timotheemonamour so if you are interested in the little WAT ask party, come find me!  
> As always please leave me a comment down below, even if it is a tiny little one, it truly means the world to me.  
> I love you all so much and I'm so thankful or all of you!  
> Alright guys, I'll see you all next Saturday byee x

“So you mean that you slept with a complete stranger who disappeared while you were asleep and the only thing you have of him is this chain?” Henry questioned as he took a sip of his drink looking at his taller friend.

The pub was still empty allowing the two friends to have a few quiet drinks and talk freely without any customers interrupting their chat.

“I did.” Armie nodded leaning on his elbows on the counter looking expectantly at the door wishing that the curly haired French beauty would walk in.

“I don’t understand why you’re making such a big fuss about it. You had a typical one night stand like most people do.” Armie shook his head toying with Timmy’s pendant.

“There was something different about him H. He wasn’t like any other nightstand I’ve had. And I was so stupid I didn’t even ask for his name! Can you fucking believe that?” He groaned hiding his face in his arm and bit at the sleeve of his shirt.

Henry looked sympathetically at his friend and patted his shoulder gently.

He couldn’t quite understand why Armie felt this way towards a stranger. He had never seen Armie so frustrated about a small thing like this.

“Can you explain to me why you’re so worked up over it?” He decided to ask wanting to understand his friend.

Armie exhaled slowly through his nose and closed his eyes bringing back in his mind images of Timmy's beautiful face, the sound of his sweet voice, the scent of his skin. Everything he had not got enough of because of his own stupidity.

“I can’t precisely explain it to you H. He was like… He was nothing like I’ve ever seen. He was beautiful, but that wasn’t what brought out to me this feeling, the fondness and the hunger for him, the desperation to find him again. It was his eyes, his posture, the way he carried himself, and how his whole entire being screamed at me with want. We had the same fucking hunger to touch each other, and it was as if he begged to feel something, anything at all. His touch, it was careful and gentle as if we were lovers and not strangers on a casual one night stand. And then I went and spoiled it all by fucking the living daylights out of him.” Henry scoffed finishing his glass of whiskey. Armie looked at him as the raven-haired man poured himself another drink. He lifted the bottle towards Armie silently asking him if he wanted. Armie shook his head declining his friend’s offer.

“I think he enjoyed your hard fucking,” Henry said popping a crisp in his mouth.

“I don’t think he did,” Armie mumbled finishing his glass and stood up straight. He looked at Timmy’s the chain one more time before putting it back in his pocket. He grabbed his apron from the hanger behind him. He wrapped it around his hips and tied it.

“What makes you think that?” Henry looked at him and mimicking his movements, tying his own apron around his hips.

“Just a feeling.” He lied right through his teeth, not wanting to reveal how insensitive he had been with the small boy. Henry glanced at him, not believing him for even a second but decided not to push the already worked up man. He would spill the beans at some point. Henry was sure of it.

Armie let out a heavy sigh drumming his fingers on the counter for a few seconds, his gaze not leaving the door. After a few minutes of overrated comfortable silence and not a glimpse of Timmy walking through the door of the pub, Armie grabbed the bottle of whiskey Henry was previously drinking from and refilled both of their glasses.

“Your mother called last night. She was _beyond_ mad, said she’s been trying to contact you for weeks and you’ve been rejecting her calls.”Henry spoke up breaking the silence. Armie hummed licking his lips and set his glass down.

“I told her not to call me again. I want nothing to do with her.” He mumbled, his tone cold, harsh and final. His fists were slowly clenching and unclenching. Just by thinking about his family made his blood boil in his veins.

He was disgusted by his family and their cunning ways. Especially his mother’s.

Henry stayed silent for a few seconds debating what his next words would be. Angry Armie wasn’t fun to be around.

“You will run short on money, mate. University is expensive, and you have needs, no matter how much you save you won’t make it till the end of the year.” Henry cautiously walked closer to his friend attempting to knock some sense in him.

“I’ll find a second job if I have to or I’ll just use my card. I’m not going back to New York, there’s no way I’ll accept to live the way she wants me to live.” Henry sighed at that internally agreeing with the golden-haired man but didn’t give up.

“If you use your card they’ll be able to track you down and find where you are.” Armie snorted at that, returning his gaze to his friend looking at him as he was stupid.

“You’re a fool if you think that she doesn’t know where I am or that I’ve changed my last name. The woman has eyes everywhere, I bet she knows that I’m working here right now and she even knows that I slept with someone last night.”

“She is your mother, Armz. And one day someone will find out that your real name is Hammer and not Adler. What will you do then?” Armie’s patience was running low.

“Well maybe when that happens my mother will be dead, and I’ll have my own law firm, and I will have cleaned up my family’s name. Now can you shut up about it? My family is the last thing on my mind right now.” He looked at his blue-eyed friend, Henry nodding slowly and letting out a long sigh.

“Right, we’ve got to find your French Cinderella. You should ask Freya, she might know who he is and where he is.” Armie glared at him making him let out a laugh and shrug.

“Don’t even joke about that H,” Armie mumbled hoping it would silence his friend.

“How you expect to find the boy, huh? You’ll spend day and night waiting by the door in case he might walk in like some sort of demi-god who’ll light up the room as he will make his way towards you? Or you’ll go from door to door asking to whom the pendant belongs to like Prince Charming did with Cinderella’s shoe?” Henry threw his hands in the air before running his fingers through his hair letting out an aggravated sigh. He was too rough with Armie, and he knew that, but he didn’t want his friend to get his hopes up and end up with nothing.

“This isn’t some fairytale, Armz. Its reality and reality is harsh, you know it better than I do.” He said in a more gentle tone placing his hand on Armie’s shoulder.

Armie, of course, knew how harsh life could be and he deeply appreciated his friend's concern for him, but he had made up his mind, and there was no use trying changing it.

He was going to find the boy no matter what it took. He had a feeling that Timmy could make him a much, much better man. He was already seeing major changes in himself. He saw things in a completely different light, it was as everything had somehow cleared up in his head and all of the fog that surrounded him all these years had disappeared, allowing the light and the warmth of the sun warm up his coldest parts.

He let his eyes fall shut for a few seconds and dipped his had in his pocket, his long fingers wrapping themselves around the tiny tulip. He felt hope once again starting to run through his veins.

 “I will ask Alexander when we return home. He has lived in Paris longer than us, he might know him.” The taller boy said grabbing his pack of cigarettes from under the counter, he took one out and held the box towards Henry who happily took one. Armie nodded towards the door, Henry silently agreeing with him and they walked outside sitting down on the steps lighting their cigarettes.

“Alexander is that creep with the weird arse eyes, right?” Armie rolled his eyes and elbowed him on the side. He wrapped his lips around the cigarette and inhaled. He instantly felt calmer and sated as the nicotine slowly settled in his system.

“He is very kind if you actually get to know him.” Now it was Henry’s turn to roll his eyes. He let out a scoff as he recalled the few encounters with the youngest of the twin.

“That guy is a fucking sociopath, and let’s not forget that he almost punched me in the face!” Henry exclaimed making a few people passing by turn to look at them. Armie exhaled the smoke.

Why do I put up with him, he thought.

“Anyone in the right state of mind would love to punch you in the face H.” He said taking another drag from his cigarette and took his phone out.

“I like his twin, Harry, his voice is great, and he is fun to be around. You can actually have a chat with him. He doesn’t look at you like an emotionless arsehole. I’m telling you, that Alexander guy is hiding something. Something big. It’s so pretentious making everyone call him Alexander instead of Alex. What a fancy prick.” Armie blocked Henry’s voice out as he scrolled through his phone.

All he could think of was Timmy.

The boy with the galaxy eyes filled to the brim with pure melancholy. He wished he had more time with him. That he hadn’t been so rough with the small boy, that he had taken his time to run his hands down the boy's lean body. Feel his soft skin under his calloused fingertips and hold him in his arms as they slept, with their limbs intertwined.

Armie really wished he could see the boy again so he could apologise to him for what he had done.

Perhaps the beautiful boy would forgive him. Give him a chance to prove that he can be good, he can care about someone else except for himself. They could become something. Possibly friends if not lovers.

He wouldn’t want to be a stranger to the boy if he ended up finding him. And he definitely wouldn't want to be remembered as a bad one night stand.

Armie took the pendant out of his pocket and pulled the cigarette away from his lips, bringing the piece of jewellery up to them. He pressed a soft kiss on the delicate tulip making a silent vow to himself that he would find the boy again.

-

Later that night when Armie was lying in bed, he found himself feeling completely empty. His clean bed sheets didn’t smell like his and Timmy’s bodies, which annoyed him to no end.

His body and soul needed Timmy’s presence. He wanted the small boy to lie next to him, make his bed smell like him, like them. He liked their body scents mixed together better than just his own.

Slowly, he ran his fingers over the pillow the smaller boy was resting upon the previous night.

Armie closed his eyes and brought the pillow close to his naked body nuzzling his nose into it, imagining the French stranger was in his arms.

“Am I going crazy?” He wondered out loud opening his eyes. After clutching the pillow one last time, he got off his bed and wrapped the sheet around his nude hips covering himself up as he walked towards his open window. He sat on the window sill glancing at the August night sky, hoping a shooting star would fall so he could make a wish.

Meanwhile, in Paris, Timmy was outside in the small balcony of his room, the faint sound of Harry’s raspy voice singing a bittersweet song while he played the guitar kept him company. Armie’s jean jacket was resting on his shoulder’s, and even though he didn’t feel cold, he felt some kind of inner peace wearing it. And although his mind couldn’t understand why he did it, somewhere deep inside him, his heart was the happiest she had ever been and silently wished that Armie was somewhere outside, gazing at the stars in their shared sky and was thinking of him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Salut cheries! I'm back as every Sunday morning with a brand new chapter which I hope you guys will like. I cannot believe that my little story has a little over a 1000 hits! It's honestly so crazy to me and I can't wrap my head around it! You guys are so incredible and I'm so thankful for every single one of you. I hope you all had a lovely week as I did, and you enjoyed the previous chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
> Now about this one, its definitely not my best one but I'm quite pleased how it turned out and I hope you guys will like it, if you do please leave me a comment down below as usual. I promise you I read ever single comment even if I don't always answer.  
> Also let me know down below if you like having a different title on each chapter or not.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday, byee x

It’s been two months since the boys first encounter. They had met in the middle of August, and now it was early October. Two slow and torturous months for Armie, who couldn’t get Timmy out of his mind no matter how hard he tried. Armie had moved back in his dorm room a couple days ago, earlier than most students, along with Henry since their classes would be starting in a little less than two weeks.

It was early morning now, just had turned 5 am when Armie pulled Henry out of bed so they could go for a morning run. Henry complained as he got dressed that it was an unholy hour and they should be getting more sleep now that they still could since their classes would be starting soon.

“I need to find Alexander, Henry! He is my only chance of seeing the boy again.” Armie answered quickly throwing on a black hoodie. His ocean eyes were still heavy with sleep, but knowing that he would be able to find Alexander who was going to lead him to Timmy, made him push his tiredness away.  The sooner he found Alex, the sooner he would see his boy again. At least that’s what he told himself.

Henry sighed sitting down on his bed to tie his shoes.

“He is a proper freak, who the fuck runs so early?” He grumbled under his breath.

“Stop it H.” Armie glared at him and took a sip of water from his bottle nearby.

“What if he doesn’t know your French Cinderella and we woke up for nothing?” He looked up at his friend.

Armie swallowed audibly.

 That was something he didn’t want to think about.

“He'll know him, and if he doesn’t, his brother, Harry, might know him. Someone _must_ know him.” He said grabbing his keys from the desk.

“I swear to God, Armie if you end up finding him and you don’t get together, I’m gonna lock you in the same room with the freak and let him eat you alive! I haven’t been listening to you whining for so long to end up with nothing.” Armie laughed at his friend's empty threat.

“Let's see if we'll find him and we'll talk about dating later.” He ushered Henry out of the door, the latter cursing at Armie and his crazy ideas internally.

Armie closed and locked behind them and started walking down the quiet hallway tugging Henry along with him by the sleeve of the hoodie he was wearing.

“Where does the freak run again?” Henry mumbled rubbing his sleepy blue eyes walking after Armie. Armie shrugged his shoulders.

“We usually start from here towards Le Jardins du Luxembourg, though there are days when we run by the Seine, so I’m not entirely sure which route he took today.” The golden-skinned boy replied. Henry stopped walking and stared at Armie’s back for a few seconds.

“Have you gone mad? We’re gonna run around bloody Paris to find the freak? He might not even be out Armz! Why can’t we find him on his dorm at a non-unholy hour, say hi and make small talk about his summer?”

“Shut your mouth and moves your legs H, we’re going whether you like it or not. He always runs, even if it’s pouring down.” Armie replied.

“Freak,” Henry muttered again under his breath and followed Armie who was descending the stairs.

Approximately five minutes later the boys were quietly jogging along the river. Armie was more than thankful Henry had decided to shut the hell up. As much he loved his friend sometimes he got on his nerves to the point where Armie wanted to break his head.

He now had time to think about he was going to say to Alex and what he would do if he found Timmy.

He was beyond nervous. What would he do if Timmy hated him? Or what if he had forgotten him entirely due to how drunk he was?

He wasn’t that drunk, his subconscious told him, giving him a little bit of hope. The question about Timmy hating him, though still lingered in the air and that was scared him the most.

Maybe the younger boy had regretted it, and that’s why he had left like a thief, not even leaving a note behind him.

Armie wasn’t one to chase and Henry, everyone knew that. He was a handsome man, very kind and ambitious something that made both boys and girls throw themselves at his feet which was something he thoroughly enjoyed when he was back in New York but ended up hating.

When he had first come to Paris people were very interested in him, as it was expected, but it soon died down after they got to know him. Or more like what they got to know what he let them know, what he wanted them to know.

So why was he trying to find the boy, why his mind couldn’t stop replaying their night together and why did he sometimes felt like he could smell Timmy’s scent in the air?

What had Timmy done to him?

Armie let out a long sigh and slowed down his pace looking at Henry who looked annoyed as ever.

“Do you think I’m making a mistake?” Armie asked, his voice small laced with fear and uncertainty. He didn’t know what he was supposed to feel or do. Everything in his head was a tangled mess the past two months which he didn’t know how to untangle.

Henry looked at him, staying quiet for a few seconds and seemed to be in deep thought, probably not entirely sure either about what Armie was supposed to do.

“I think you’ve gone mad.” He finally answered earning a soft chuckle from Armie.

“Possibly.” He nodded in agreement. Henry scoffed and spoke up again.

“I’ll tell you this one thing mate, and then I won’t speak about this whole thing again, so you better open up your ears and listen to me. I know you Armie, I’ve known you since we were kids and not once in your life you acted this way for a complete stranger. You’ve had one night stands before, possibly more than I have and you didn’t chase after the guys or girls you slept with. You never over thought why they left in the middle of the night, you just accepted it because that’s how one night stands are and you know that. Yet here you are pining after the boy. At first, I thought that this isn’t you but maybe I was wrong, and this is the real you. The person you should have been all these years, but you weren’t because you were wanted by anyone with a pair of eyes and a cunt or a cock. So go, chase the boy, find him and make him yours. Let him be your Cinderella to your prince charming. Because the world, your world might change and you’ll finally become who you are meant to be. Fate is a bitch, and you know that but sometimes, it works wonders for people who deserve it. And you deserve it Armie, especially after everything that happened to you. He can fix you, make you better than you already are. And maybe you too can change him, change his life which is something you’ve probably already done. So, we should find Alexander and ask him about the boy, because some things happen only once in a lifetime.”

Armie stared at his friend speechless, not believing the words which had left Henry’s lips. He had never heard Henry talk to him with so much softness in his tone, looking so sincere. He wasn’t used to seeing Henry showing any kind of emotion.

Besides that, Armie’s heart was blooming with hope. Henry’s words had struck a chord somewhere deep inside him. He looked at the raven-haired lad with hopeful eyes.

“You truly believe that?” Henry nodded slowly placing his hand on Armie’s shoulder.

“I know I sound like a crazy man, but yes Armie. I one hundred per cent believe every word I just said. You deserve this, a love story people will be jealous of, and they would like to write cliché books about. And if it turns out that he is not the one for you and things go bust, at least you’ll know that you tried and you’ve gained something. And that something is your true self.” Armie wrapped his arms around his friend pulling him into a bone crushing hug. Henry awkwardly patted the taller boy’s back.

“Thank you H, I really appreciate it. God, you have no idea how much this means to me.” Armie mumbled holding him tighter. Henry chuckled softly pulling away from their embrace.

“I’m doing this more for me than you actually, so I won’t have to listen to you whining and have you wake me up at bloody 5am again.” Henry tried to sound stern but couldn’t hold back his smile. Armie laughed, eyes closing and head tipping back with happiness.

 “Now, c’mon let’s go find the freak so he can tell us with French Cinderella is because I desperately need some more sleep.” Henry smiled up at Armie, and the pair started jogging again. As they were crossing the Pont du Louvre, Armie caught sight of a figure running along the left bank.

Alexander.

He elbowed Henry and pointed at Alexander’s running frame.

“There he is.” He mumbled, and the boys took off running towards the left side of the bank, they quickly descended the stairs and ran after Alexander trying to catch up with his fast pace.

“Alexander!” Armie yelled. The curly haired man turned around, his hood falling off his head revealing his sharp features.

Armie waved at him and jogged closer to the boy with Henry trailing behind him and rolling his eyes slowly regretting ever agreeing with Armie.

“Hello.” Armie smiled at the Alex. A grey hoodie was adorning his built body along with a pair of black shorts and running shoes.

“Hello mate, Henry.” Alex nodded at both of them in acknowledgement. Henry rolled his eyes once more and crossed his arms. He hated the guy’s guts.

“How are you, your brother? How was your summer?” Armie asked scratching the back of his neck, attempting to make a small awkward talk, not knowing how to bring the subject up. Alexander quickly picked up Armie’s nervous mannerisms but didn’t comment on them, instead chose to answer Armie as truthfully as he could.

“I’m fine, Harry too. It was nice, spend some time in London with my family but mostly here in Paris. You? How have you been?”

“I’m good too. Good, I guess, I was in Rome working with H at a pub.” Alexander nodded slowly and send a small smile at the man’s direction.

“Rome sounds like a lovely place to spend summer at.” He said tucking his hands inside his pockets and nodded at the boys signalling them to continue walking with him.

Henry opened his mouth to protest but decided against it. He followed Armie and Alex who quietly walked along the river.

“The things I do for you Armie.” He muttered under his breath.

Armie chewed on his lower lip as he stole quick glances at the shorter man at his side. He had no idea how to ask Alex without sounding too desperate.

“Out with it, Adler, I know you want to say something,” Alex mumbled making Armie look at him, blue eyes wide with surprise.

“I don’t know how to bring it up.” Armie stuttered and rubbed his face. Maybe it was a bad idea after all, and he should keep his mouth shut. If fate wanted them together, he would have found the beautiful boy by now.

“Just say it, mate.” Alexander looked at him already knowing what Armie was going to say. He had figured it all out the moment he saw the blue-eyed man. Little things about him revealed the answer he needed. One of them being his fading tan and another one and most important the pendant wrapped around his wrist. A necklace was oh so familiar with and would recognise anywhere. And of course, the description he had from Timmy, Armie matched perfectly. He was the one who had been with Timmy back in Rome.

 “Look, I know this is going to sound weird, but I have to ask you. I slept with a guy while I was in Rome. I don’t know anything about him, only that he was French. He didn’t speak French, he just told me while we were still at the bar. You’ve lived in Paris longer than I and you and Harry have friends around here so you might know him.” He paused and took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. Alex hummed knowingly.

“He was tall but shorter than me, probably around 1,80 something, maybe less, he was tiny though, very skinny. Strikingly green eyes, curly hair, feminine features.” Armie looked at Alex, desperation filling his eyes.

Definitely Timmy.

“Why are you looking for him, if you don’t mind me asking?” Alex mumbled looking at him. That was the only thing he wasn’t sure about even though he had a few ideas in mind.

Armie sucked in a deep breath through his nose and considered if he should tell Alex the truth or not. He decided that he should because if Alex actually knew the boy, he could put on a kind word about him.

“I have a feeling that he is different than any other one night stand I’ve ever had.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang out with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the notes at the end of the chapter.

Timmy was laying on tummy on his bed in his shared dorm room with a lanky, blue-eyed boy named Troye. He was half Australian from what Timmy had gathered he had spent most of his life there. From the second the boys met they got along very well. The two had a shared love for arts, music and pretty things.

Troye was currently lying on his stomach to next to Timmy.

“I can’t believe you’re not dating at least one of them, I’d date both of them if I could.” Troye said still not being able to believe in the existence of the “miracle twins” as he liked to call them. They two would occasionally drop by Timmy’s dorm either to help him move in his things or to check up on him. The blue-eyed boy couldn’t stop ogling at them, each time they stepped a foot in the dorm.

Timmy chuckled looking at Troye, his curls bouncing on his head as he turned to look at Troye.

“They are my friends, and I can’t look at them differently. I’ve known them for so many years. None of us has this kind of feelings for each other. We are close, closer than most friends are, but that’s it. I was too, overwhelmed when I first met them, I admit it, but that was it.” He smiled pushing a few curls away from his eyes. Troye shook his head softly and turned himself around leaning up on his elbows looking at Timmy.

“I would have sex with both of them at least once. Just to see what it feels like.” Timmy laughed loudly, green eyes shining and wrinkling at the corners.

“With both of them?” Troye nodded eagerly, a big grin breaking out on his face.

“I don’t think they are in that kind of thing. But then again, their love life is the only thing I have no idea about. They’ve never mentioned a boyfriend or a girlfriend. They are flirty though, especially Harry, he has a lot of flings. Alex is more on the quiet, lonely side.” Troye agreed with the last part.

“I can definitely see that. He is the observing type, I can tell.”

“You, do you have eyes for anyone, apart from the twins?” Timmy wiggled his eyebrows. Troye let out a giggle shaking his head.

“No, not really. But from what I’ve heard from a good friend, there are some really hot second graders. And considering the fact that the twins are second graders, she was definitely right.” Timmy hummed softly, thin legs swinging in the air in the cutest way possible.

His mind went back to the handsome barman he had met in Italy. He was probably a second grader too at some university somewhere in the world.

He shook his head and let out a soft sigh.

He shouldn’t be thinking about him. They would never cross paths again. Timmy didn’t want them to. No matter how handsome and charming Armie was, he wouldn’t be good for Timmy. The man probably had the world at his feet, and Timmy probably meant nothing more to him than a simple nightstand. And from the way Armie had fucked his little body into the mattress so carelessly as if he was nothing more than a simple hole to fuck, Timmy wasn’t sure if the man had feelings at all.

Timmy wasn’t one to forgive easily.

Not even himself.

And he hated himself for that drunken one night stand. He actually hated himself for many reasons which were honestly too many to count.

“What’s wrong?” Troye asked concerned. Timmy shook his head and laid his head on his pillow looking at Troye.

“Nothing to worry about.” He whispered. Troye didn't look convinced at all but decided to leave the boy alone. He took a book from the pile on the floor which they still hadn’t sorted out and opened it, wanting to give Timmy some space, to allow him to speak on his own if he wanted to.

For some reason, Timmy suddenly started having self-doubts. He felt small and like he couldn’t trust anyone.

He turned around and laid on his back swallowing the lump which had formed in his throat. His mind going into override.

About a billion of what if’s were floating around in his head, making his stomach tighten.

What if he couldn’t trust Troye? What if the blue-eyed boy ended up hurting him emotionally? What if the twins found someone better who worthed so much more than him? What if he ended up all alone because he couldn’t allow himself to truly trust anyone and let himself get enveloped by feelings?

He closed his eyes and placed his hands over his face taking slow breaths.

He was afraid of everything.

Afraid of not being enough, of not being good. He was haunted by the betrayal he had gone through.

His heart felt as if it was made of glass and if it shattered again, the sharp pieces would pierce his chest and kill him.

He couldn’t afford to be hurt again.

Yet, his need to love and be loved was colossal, and he doubted it would ever subside.

He could try silencing it though.

He could allow himself to feel physical love instead of emotional.

Maybe he could start going out, get drunk and high, sleep with a bunch of different people to fill the emptiness he felt.

A soft knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, relief washed over him. If he had to spend another second lost inside his head, he would start crying. He looked at the door, wishing he could open it using his mind instead of getting up.

“I’ll get it.” Troye smiled at Timmy getting up and making his way towards the door. Timmy sat up on his bed, leaning his back on the wall but quickly jumped up when he saw the twins leaning on the doorframe.

A breath he didn’t know he was holding, escaped his lips as he threw himself at them, their arms coming to wrap around his small body protectively. The twins looked at each other with matching confused expressions then at Troye who was eye fucking them as usual.

“Missed us?” Harry asked his tone light and teasing, making Timmy smile. He nodded holding the twins tighter, burying his face in Alexander’s chest.

“I did, it’s kind of weird not waking up to the two of you eating Lucky Charms with marshmallows perched up on the kitchen counter.” Harry chuckled softly at Alex when the younger twin made a face at the mention of the cereal he hated and pressed a kiss on top of Timmy’s head.

“Come in, guys,” Troye said sitting down on his bed and grabbed his book once more pretending to be interested in it rather than the twins.

“We’re actually here to take Timothée out,” Alex said making both of the younger boys look at him.

“Where are we going?” Timmy asked curiously, toying with Alexander’s ringed fingers.

“At the nice little crêperie, you like. We want you to meet a friend of ours.” Harry answered fixing Timmy’s hair with his fingers.

“Oh, okay. I’ll get changed.” Timmy smiled trusting the twins. He walked over to the wardrobe taking a simple black turtle neck and a pair of jeans out. Alex closed the door behind them and moved to sit down on Timmy’s bed along with his curly-haired brother.

“Can I come too?” Troye asked looking at the twins with big eyes, he’d kill to spend more time with the gorgeous twins.

“No.” The twins chorused, four pair of eyes looking – glaring-  at Troye warning him not to even dare to think about it.

Timmy chuckled at Troye’s surprised and slightly hurt face. The twins could be very intimidating when they wanted to.

“Maybe next time,” Harry muttered softly not wanting to come out as an arsehole. Alexander didn’t say anything not caring about what people thought about him.

Timmy adjusted his sweater and rolled the sleeves a few times shortening them. He liked showing the skin of his wrists just a little bit.

He grabbed his boots from the corner of the room and sat on his bed between the twins. He slipped them on, but before he could lean down to tie them, Harry was on his knees, tying them for him.

Timmy looked up at Troye who was shaking his head slightly before mouthing at Timmy.

“I want one too.”

Timmy snorted and thanked Harry who was straightening up to his normal height.

“Shall we, pretty?” Harry asked pushing his long hair away from his face. Timmy nodded softly watching as Troye got up from his bed and moved closer to Harry. The boy carefully reached out, tying Harry’s hair up in a bun. Harry’s green eyes were wide as he looked at his twin and Timmy with a horrified expression not sure what was happening. Timmy tried to muffle his giggles in Alexander’s shoulder while the man looked at the two of them amused.

“There, is this better?” Troye asked Harry softly, the latter turning his head to face the blue-eyed boy. Harry nodded softly smiling at Troye.

“Yes, thank you.” Troye smiled back at him, bringing his lower lip between his teeth. His bright blue eyes sparkling. Timmy smiled up at Alex who was looking at the pair with an unusual, loving smile across his lips.

Timmy knew how much the twins loved each other but seeing Alex being so fond of his brother made Timmy’s heart warm up, to the point where he almost forgot about how awful he was feeling before.

“Now C'mon, let’s go meet this friend of yours,” Timmy said loudly making Harry and Troye avert their gazes from each other, the latter blushing. The young boy chuckled softly tucking his keys and phone inside the pocket of his jeans.

“Yes, we will be late,” Alex said placing his hand on the small of Timmy’s back and guided him outside of the small dorm room. Harry trailed behind them.

A small smirk was playing on Alex’s plump lips making Timmy giggle softly and lean on his side as they walked.

“He is cute, brother mine.” He said looking back at Harry. Harry shook his head elbowing his brother.

“Shut up, blood.”

-

The twins were sitting across from each other on the table looking nervous as ever. They weren’t sure if they were doing the right thing.

 For once in their life, they felt afraid. Afraid that Timmy would get hurt by Armie. And although Armie had told Alex that he had a feeling that Timmy would be the one for him, Alex wasn’t too sure, which was a first for him, yet he found himself believing the blue-eyed man.

Harry, on the other hand, was worried about how Timmy would take it, how would he react when he saw Armie in front of him so unexpectedly. He didn’t know how Timmy felt about Armie, and that worried him. They hadn’t talked about Armie since a few days after Timmy had returned from his eventful trip.

Timmy was seated next to Harry, looking down at the menu, thinking about what he should get and the twins were more than thankful because he couldn’t see the nervous stares they were sharing.

Armie was running a few minutes late, and Harry considered telling Timmy who they were expecting, but as he opened his mouth, the words ran away, and he decided to drink a bit of water to ease his dry from the nervousness throat.

Alex placed his hand on top of his brother’s trying to get him to relax even though he felt just as nervous, maybe even more.

They heard the door open the little bell ringing. Harry immediately looked at the door, nodding at Alex when he spotted Armie walking towards the three of them.

“So sorry I’m late.” Timmy knew that voice. He had heard it before, right in his ears, moaning and whispering to him, commanding to make himself cum.

His breath got caught in his throat as he lifted his head up. Green eyes finally meeting blue after so long.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Hello, how are you all? I hope you're all well! I usually start by thanking evertone for the kudos and the comments but this time I'll start with something different. I'm on a little holiday so there is a little chance you might get the next chapter a little earlier or maybe later than usual. I promise that you guys will get the chapter but the time and date might be a little off, so stay tuned for that.  
> This chapter is a small one and it's not edited so all the mistakes are mine and please ignore them.  
> If you liked this chapter please, leave a comment down below telling me what your thoughts are, I read all the comments even if I don't answer. If you have any questions or you want to chat more about the story you're more than welcome to hit me up on tumblr which is @timotheemonamour as well!  
> Thank you for all the comments and the kudos, they mean the world to me and it makes me so happy when you guys comment! I really like interacting with you even though I don't do it often, I'll try to do better from now on.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you at some point in the next week.  
> All my love x


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I'm so sorry for the long wait life has been crazy the past few days but I think I'm back on track now.  
> Thank you all so much for the comments on the last chapter and for the kudos, they truly made my day.  
> This chapter is all angst, the next one probably too so get ready for that.  
> As usual leave a comment down below telling me if you like it and what your thoughts are on Timmy, Armie and the twins.  
> Thank you so much for your support I apprieciate every single one of you!  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Bisous x

A shudder ran through Timmy’s small body as he looked up at Armie. He couldn’t believe he had the man right in front of him. The man who had been haunting his thoughts as well as his dreams since mid-August was there, in the same crêperie as him.

He was taking off his jacket placing it on the back of the chair across of Timmy. Timmy’s eyes rested there. The twins stood up greeting Armie, shaking hands and patting his back. Timmy swallowed before standing up.

He felt four pair of eyes which belonged to the twins staring intensely at him, nervous for his reaction as he placed his hand in Armie’s much larger one.

Armie sucked in a deep breath through his nose when he felt Timmy’s soft skin on his. He was as soft as he remembered him. Armie almost felt as if his mind and everything around him went quiet the second Timmy’s skin touched his.

“I’m Armie, Armie Adler.” Armie almost said his real last name but thankfully bit his tongue the last second preventing himself from doing so.

“Timothée Chalamet,” Timmy said, his French accent caressed Armie’s ears, and the older boy had to stop his eyes from falling shut at how sweet Timmy’s voice sounded. He swore it was the most melodic sound he has ever heard in his whole life. And he wanted to listen to it in a continuous loop over and over.

“Nice to meet you,” Armie said, taking in Timmy’s appearance. His hair was longer now touching the base of his long neck, his skin looked as smooth as he remembered and his lips were pouty and had a sinful cherry colour, making Armie wonder if he tasted like cherries too.  His eyes had the same melancholy they had when he had first seen him at the pub.

“You too.” Timmy nodded and sat back down next to Harry. His heart was beating like crazy inside the bony case of his chest. He felt confused and overwhelmed not knowing how he was supposed to feel, the uncertainty he had been feeling before was surfacing once again making him want to crawl in a ball and hide. And fact that he could feel Armie’s eyes focused on him as he sat down across from him on Alexander’s side made him feel even more anxious.

Timmy found himself wondering if Armie remembered him or if he had completely forgotten about him.

He couldn’t tell which one of the answers would be the most comforting. Though he would very much like it if Armie remembered him and had actually thought of him once or twice.

A part of him though wished Armie had completely forgotten about him allowing them to possibly start over, have a brand new start since the timeline of the events of the night they had shared was completely wrong in his mind. Something which Timmy had beat himself over because deep inside he knew that they hadn’t done anything wrong and people his age sleep with strangers most of the time and Timmy himself wasn’t against it, yet it had strung him wrong.

Armie on the other hand knew what he wanted and he knew that Timmy remembered everything. He could see it from the way his breathing was shallow, and he stole quick glances at the older boy but never let his eyes linger on him as he Armie was the Medusa and Timmy would turn into stone if he looked in the man’s eyes.

“How are you, mate?” Harry asked making Armie tear his gaze from Timmy.

Timmy silently praised whichever God had listened to him and released a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in. He felt uncomfortable and hot under Armie’s intense gaze, almost as if he was set on fire. He wanted to crawl off his skin and suffocate in a lonesome corner where the sun wouldn’t shine, and nobody would ever find him. Timmy couldn’t understand how his life had led up to the moment where the twins would introduce Armie to him as their friend.

He looked at Alex who was leaning back on his chair, playing with his lower lip, looking calm and collected as usual, his heterochromic eyes set on his twin and Armie as if he already knew the next words the two would exchange.  

Alex noticed Timmy staring at him and tore his gaze from Harry and Armie and raised an eyebrow at Timmy, his full lips twitching up in one of his famous smug smirks that Timmy had a love-hate relationship with, letting the boy know that he was in control of the situation.

Timmy’s eyes widened as Alexander’s normally dull green and blue eyes lit up with mischief swirling around them.

He knew.

The bastard knew that Armie was the person Timmy had slept with. He wasn’t sure how Alex had found him or if they were actually friends which it seemed like he and Harry did know him considering their conversation was flowlying smoothly. He would have interrogate him later, although he had a feeling Alex wouldn’t give him a straight answer, he was too smart to do that.

Letting out a defeated sigh he returned his gaze to the menu, lifting it up and hiding his face behind it, wanting to avoid Armie’s eyes for a few minutes till he actually sorted out how he felt about the whole thing.

He took a deep breath and shut out the voices of Armie and the twins. He closed his eyes and tried to listen to what his little glass heart was screaming at him. The screams of his mind were louder though shutting out his heart’s whisper. And while his heart yelled at him that he should open up his eyes and look at Armie the same way he had that night and start over with him, his mind screamed at him one word which was more powerful than any other.

And that was fear.

Fear of getting his glass heart broken, his feelings torn apart and stepped on like they meant nothing.

His fear of trusting was overpowering.

He didn’t want to end up being used like he had been before.

Stupid Matteo for making me lose trust in people, Timmy thought.

He might be different, Timmy’s heart screamed at him, but his mind shushed his heart with a growl.

Suddenly a plate of warm crêpes was placed in front of him. He looked up at the waiter saying a quick merci at him and looked at the twins.

“De rien.” Harry winked at him, his British accent quickly being replaced by a slight French one. Timmy got always impressed by how the twins were able to change their accents and speak so many languages.

Timmy smiled softly at Harry and busied himself with his food.

He had made his decision, and it sadly was bad news for Armie. Unless he proved himself to be different than Timmy anticipated.

They ate in silence, sometimes Armie asked the twins or Timmy something which he answered halfheartedly. But that was until he noticed Armie toying with a little chain and his throat went completely dry.

Timmy immediately recognised it as his.

Matteo, his ex-boyfriend, had gifted it to him a few nights after they had fucked for the first time.

It was a small, simple gift, but it meant the world to Timmy. Matteo had told Timmy that he reminded him of a tulip and that’s why he had gotten Timmy the tulip pendant. He even went as far as calling him ‘mio tulipano’ as a term of endearment, and as much as Timmy used to find it adorable, he couldn’t help but cringe just by thinking of it now.

And although Timmy shouldn’t have kept wearing the pendant, he was attached to it. It reminded him that you should be aware even of the people who gift you something because there might be something bigger hiding behind the seemingly kind act. Just like the ancient Greek saying, Beware of the Greeks bearing gifts.

The delicate tulip looked even tinier between Armie’s thumb and forefinger.

Timmy bit gently down on his lower lip, looking up to Armie’s blue eyes. The older boy was already looking at him. Armie had seen Timmy eyeing the chain and patiently waited for the boy to look at him.

Timmy wanted to believe that Armie had kept his chain because their one-night stand had meant something to him. And perhaps somewhere deep inside, Timmy wanted it to be true.

The little devil on his shoulder though told Timmy that Armie had kept the delicate chain as a trophy. Another little proof of how his charming ways always worked and he could put everyone under his spell.

Armie held Timmy’s gaze and tried to make Timmy understand through the desperation he had in his eyes that he wasn’t going to harm him, that he wanted to get to know Timmy better and maybe become something to him.

Timmy of course didn’t seem to understand Armie’s kind intentions. He had closed his mind, and all he could see was someone who was going to lie to him and potentially destroy him forever.

Timmy placed his hand on Harry’s under the table and laced their fingers together using his thumb to caress the top of Harry’s hand three times which if it wasn’t Harry and it was someone else, they would have missed entirely the silent scream of the need to get rescued, but not him. Not Harry.

Harry quickly understood their little coded touch and cleared his throat looking at his twin who immediately turned his attention to him. The two looked at each other for a few seconds communicating with each other through their minds, leaving Timmy to wonder how they would manage to get him out of this tough situation.

Alex nodded a few seconds softly later, making hope spark inside Timmy’s chest.

“So Armie, you said you spend summer in Rome, right?” Alexander said looking at Armie.

Oh, Timmy was going to kill the bastards when they would be alone.

“Yes, I did. I’ve been a little tight on money and my friend Henry, well his uncle, owns a pub there. Henry goes every summer, and I decided to go with him.” Armie answered looking at Alex. The boy with the mismatching eyes nodded humming and looked at his twin from the corner of his eye as if he didn’t already know all these.

“Rome is a very romantic place. I’d say the same and maybe a little more than Paris. Did you have a summer love?” Harry asked looking interested, his chin resting on the back of the hand that Timmy wasn’t holding.

“Paris is far more romantic than Italy.” The French boy argued for absolute no reason before Armie could answer making the twins smirk with identical smug grins on their faces. They had finally managed to pull a reaction out of him.

“How so?” Armie asked looking at Timmy. Timmy placed his knife and fork down looking at Armie, green eyes blazing with a sudden fire. If the twins wouldn’t help him get out of this, he would have to do it alone.

“Paris makes you want to fall in love, even if you don’t want to. It’s the city of love after all. And everything looks far more romantic than it is. It's the people, their culture and language, their adoration for arts, fashion and food, the cliché need to eat oysters and drink champagne with a view of la tour Eiffel on a night with the full moon shining on the French sky. Who doesn’t want that? All Rome makes you do is get drunk and make drunken mistakes which you regret when you sober up. It makes you end up wishing you had never stepped a foot on the damn country.” Timmy stood up pushing his chair back making a loud noise earning stares from the customers who were happily munching away on their food.

“Now excuse me, I have to return to my dorm. I promised Troye I would show him the art department.” He said lifting his chin up and walked towards the door.

He quickly walked outside and breathed through his nose, the cold air instantly making him shiver. He had no idea if what he had said had made any sense or if anyone understood any of the words which had escaped his mouth, but he knew that was the point of his little outburst. His words had to show the agitation he was feeling both towards Armie and the twins too and his need to get out there as soon as possible.

He hated himself because of how strongly he was reacting to Armie. The older boy shouldn’t be getting under his skin on easily, setting him off without even saying a single word.

Timmy felt incredibly confused. He didn’t know if he wanted to hate Armie or if he wanted to let the older boy have his way with him, of course, softer than he had the last time.

He blamed Armie’s focused and intense ocean gaze for messing his head up, for making him a flustered mess.

He hated the guy.

And the stupid blue eyes of his.

And his sandy hair and perfect skin and the stubble around his jaw and lips

He wanted to scream and cry out in frustration but also get on his knees for Armie, taking his large cock down his throat till he chocked. He’d probably die happy with a cock in his mouth.

“Timothée.” Timmy whipped around quicker than he ever had in his whole entire life almost making himself dizzy. His heart throwing a party inside his chest, piching him and screaming at him that this was his chance.

Armie had followed him.

He stood a little further away from, his coat hanging from his arm and the moonlight shining on his perfectly symmetrical features. Timmy wanted to punch him his handsome, but he figured it would be hard to do so considering their height difference and the fact that Timmy wasn’t that strong so Armie wouldn’t feel anything. Perhaps he could get a good few shots on Armie’s chest and maybe on the artery of Armie’s neck. It sounded like a great plan until Armie spoke up.

“Walk with me.” His voice was low and firm. Timmy figured out that Armie wasn’t used to hearing no from the way his eyes darkened when the young boy declined but immediately softened.

“Please, Timothée,” Armie said, his tone was softer, but Timmy wasn’t ready to give in.

“I don’t want to, I made a promise to my friend, and I don’t want to let him down.” Timmy knew that he was unreasonable, but there wasn’t another way to get rid of Armie. And he did want to get rid of Armie, right? Right.

“Okay fine, just let me apologise to you then," Armie said taking Timmy by surprise.

“Apologize? For what?” Timmy asked. The blue-eyed man cautiously walked closer to Timmy.

“For the night in Rome. I was too rough with you, I lost control of my body and senses I didn’t want it to go like that." A flash of emotion passed through Timmy's eyes. His lips parted inhaling the so much needed air.

Armie thought that his sincere apology had broke Timmy's walls down.

Timmy smiled softly at Armie.

“You do not have to apologise to me for anything. Especially for fucking me the way you did, without a care in the world whether I enjoyed it or not. We're not lover's Armie. We're just strangers who had one nightstand together. It meant nothing to me. It shouldn’t mean anything to you either.” He said harshly shattering every piece of Armie’s heart.

-

Timmy paced up and down inside his small dorm room. Troye was on his bed trying to quiet his giggles as he watched Timmy who was ready to start lecturing the twins any second now.

“I can’t believe you two.” He turned to the twins with a scowl on his face. Alexander went to open his smart mouth, but the younger boy glared at him making him close it again. Of course, that didn’t keep Alex from smiling snugly.

“You two are unfuckingbelievable! You knew that he was the guy I slept with and you brought him to have fucking dinner with us!” Timmy looked first at Alex and then Harry who was trying to keep himself from smiling.

“We were only trying to help, sweetheart,” Harry said making Timmy lung at him, the two of them falling back on the bed. If Harry wasn't caught by surprise, Timmy was sure that he wouldn't be able to move him an inch.

“How would you help me if you brought him right at me, huh?” Timmy asked throwing his tiny fists at Harry’s chest looking like an angry newborn kitten. Harry found it adorable.

“Armie looked everywhere for you.” Alexander's voice stopped Timmy from throwing a punch at Harry’s pretty face. He quickly faced the other boy sitting next to his brother with his back against the wall.

“What?”

“Armie came up to me with his annoying friend while I was running in the morning, asking me if I or Haz happen to know you,” Alexander explained, his tone was slow as if he was talking to a kid, his words picked, forming the perfect sentence to struck a chord in Timmy.

He lifted his hand up when Timmy went to talk, not allowing him to utter a word which earned him a venomous glare from the small boy. Alex continued his speech unfazed.

“I’m no idiot of course, and I asked him why he wants to find you so bad considering he dragged himself out of bed along with Henry, his friend, to come find me and ask me this at bloody 5 AM. It was obvious he was desperate for an answer, a positive one if I may say so. He told me that the guy, you, had meant to him more than a usual nightstand. And before you bite me, no, he was not lying Timothée. You have no idea how much relief washed through his eyes, his features. It was as if he had been reborn. I know a liar when I see one and Armie, he wasn’t lying when he said that.” Timmy kept quiet looking at the older boy in disbelief. He wanted to believe Alex’s words. He really did.

“I want to believe you Alex. I really do.” He whispered, his voice small. Harry leaned up wrapping his arms around the boy. Timmy melted right into his arms, hiding his face in the boy's neck.

“You should, love. Armie isn’t a bad man, he won’t hurt you.” Harry said looking his twin in the eyes. Alex nodded softly agreeing with him.

“I second that. You know very well that I’m not fond of many people and I never speak highly of them. Armie is a good guy, baby. And I strongly believe that you should consider giving him a chance and if it doesn't work, onto the rest of life. You're young my sweet Timothée, you cannot throw your best years away because of some arsehole who had the audacity to traumatise you. He isn’t worth it.” Alex sincerely said running his fingers through Timmy's silky curls.

“Besides, we wouldn’t have brought him to you if we knew that his intentions are not good. After all, we swore to protect you and your glass heart. We want the best for you, love.” Timmy had an overwhelming urge to cry, hug and choke Alex till his handsome face turned purple, and there was no air in his lungs.

Damn him and his persuasive lawyer skills.

He let Alexander's words sink in for a few seconds, slowly over analysing them in his head.

Timmy decided that the man with the unique eyes was right indeed about a lot of things.

Timmy sighed and buried himself deeper into Harry's embrace. His nimble fingers held the man's hoodie tightly for leverage.

“I reckon you should accept what happened in Rome, learn to live in harmony with it and give Armie the chance to begin again. Get to know him first, take it slow till you feel comfortable enough with him." The older twin mumbled softly cradling Timmy in his arms. Timmy nodded softly and closed his eyes, breathing in Harry’s calming and familiar scent.

He supposed he could try.

Or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come chat with me about the story on tumblr which is @timotheemonamour


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I hope you're all okay and you had a lovely week! Thank you all so much for the feedback on the last chapter it meant the world to me!  
> Now this chapter.. I don't know what the hell is going on, so be kind?   
> Leave a comment down below telling me what you think or hit me up on tumblr and we can chat more about the fic.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday,   
> bisous x

Armie walked made his way back to his dorm room after a long walk he had taken around Paris, trying to breathe as much air as he could which had seemed to leave his lungs the second Timmy spat out his harsh words. His body was shivering from the cold air of the night, something quite unusual since he was never cold, even in the worst weather. He had lost his jacket at some point while he was walking, probably near Saint- Sulpice, but he wasn’t too sure.

He sighed softly as he pushed the key into the keyhole unlocking the door of his dorm, silently praying that Henry was inside. He could definitely use a cuddle to fix his torn apart heart, or at least attempt to fix it somehow.

Henry quickly looked up at him the second Armie stepped inside.

The raven-haired man’s words died down in his throat as he took in Armie’s appearance. His sandy hair was dishevelled as if he had been running his fingers through his locks multiple times, his usually bright blue eyes were a dark grey-blue almost like an angry ocean on a stormy day. Only the lightnings were missing and the rain which would most probably soon appear in the form of tears. His shoulders were pulled close to his body making Armie look smaller and almost childlike instead of the giant he was.

“It didn’t go well, did it?” He asked in the softest tone he could manage.

Armie looked at his friend who was lying naked under the covers of his bed, a book resting on his lap. He didn’t speak. His eyes did though, they gave away everything Henry needed to know.

Henry didn’t speak again, didn’t try to comfort Armie allowing him to open up in his own pace, already knowing that he would talk when he was ready, and wouldn’t shut up when he finally did speak up.

He silently watched as Armie undressed. His long fingers pulled off the sweater he was wearing and tossed it on the end of his bed. He then moved to unbuckle his belt and kicked off his shoes as he unzipped the jeans he wore before pulling them down his legs along with his boxers.

The nippy air made him shiver, and he quickly pulled the covers off his bed getting in and under the covers. He faced the wall, turning his back to Henry, letting Timmy’s words sink in as if they hadn’t already s in the past two hours he had aimlessly walked in the streets looking like a lost oversized puppy.

He closed his eyes after a few minutes in a futile attempt of sleeping, slipping away from the pain of the world. He wanted to stop thinking about Timmy, of their story which started so wrong and ended so horribly. A tale of a love which died before it even began.

Armie felt tears starting to gather up in the corners of his eyes and shut them tighter trying to drown his thoughts out before he ended up drowning in his own tears. He sniffled and inhaled deeply.

He laid on his back knowing that he wouldn’t get any sleep. He glanced at Henry finding him absorbed in his book and bit down on his lower lip. He wanted to crawl in Henry’s bed like Henry used to do when they were kids but hesitated not wanting to disturb his friend, so he wrapped the blanket tighter around him feeling colder than usual because of the sadness which was overtaking his body and stared at the ceiling letting himself slowly boil in his misery. Timmy's harsh words were playing over and over in his head like a broken record which he couldn't stop even if he wanted to.

_…_ ……“I can’t believe how much he hates me,” Armie finally spoke up, not being able to bear the pain spreading over his chest.

 “You have no idea how much _I_ hate you right now Armz,” Henry replied from his own bed desperately wanting to finish the last few pages of his book.

“You should have seen him H. His eyes were colder than ice yet they had a fire in them which could burn anyone in their wake alive,” Armie said pulling the covers more over his naked body.

Armie had his fair share of rejections even though they were less due to the lust most people seemed to have for him. He always handled it well, never gave it a second thought or cried about it. So why was he reacting like this, this time? What had changed?

“That’s technically impossible,” Henry answered shortly and without thinking it twice, turned the page of his book. Armie raised his head off his pillow and gazed at his friend and roommate.

“Do you even care about the fact that I’m heartbroken?” He received no answer. He stared at Henry for a little longer. Henry’s blue eyes were eagerly taking in every word in the book, his mind only focused the book in his hands. Armie just then realised that Henry was naked, with just a blanket covering his lower regions.

Armie was used to seeing his friend naked. When they were kids, Henry would stay over at Armie’s place or vice versa, their mothers would let them sometimes bathe together since the two refused to take time apart from each other. And after Armie’s family took Henry in when his parents died in a car crash, the two shared the same bed and bathed together due to Henry being too scared he would lose his best friend too just like he had so violently lost his parents. As they got older bathing together turned into getting naked on their movie nights, to jerking off together, occasionally even jerking off each other and laughing after they both finished and cleaned themselves up. They had shared a few lovers too in the heat of moments.

And now there Henry was.

Ignoring Armie, choosing to read like any sane person would after hearing their best friend whining about the exact same thing for the millionth time.

Armie huffed and grabbed his pillow throwing it at his friend. Henry made a sound of surprise as the book hit the side of his head. He looked up at Armie, eyes wide.

“What was that for?” He asked.

“For not listening to me and my problems. What are you reading anyway?” Armie sat up looking at him, his arms crossed on his chest.

“The catcher in the rye.” Armie looked at Henry surprised.

“How come you’re reading classic literature? You’ve always snubbed it.” Henry shrugged and closed the book placing it on the bed next to him. It was useless trying to read.

“Well, while you were out, I walked around for a bit. I met a girl, she’s gorgeous, and she’s into literature. She’s a freshman in the art department. I want to impress her.” He looked down with a fond smile on his lips. Armie smiled softly and stood up from his bed moving across the room onto Henry’s bed, momentarily forgetting about his own problems.

“What’s her name?” He asked leaning his back on the wall, shuddering from the cold running down his spine. His long naked legs stretched in front of him and off the bed touching the floor.

“Saoirse, she’s half Irish and half American. She has the cutest accent.” He smiled keeping his gaze at his hands. Armie nodded pursing his lips. He was happy for his friend.

Henry deserved to be happy. Armie wanted him to be happy. He couldn’t help but feel bad for himself though. Happiness had suddenly come so easily into Henry’s life while he had to fight tooth and nail to make himself happy and even after fighting, he was miserably failing.

He pushed the bad thoughts of the back of his mind and smiled at Henry.

“I’m happy for you.” He told his friend. Henry looked up at him, his eyebrows furrowed together.

“No, you’re not. I mean yes you are happy for me, but you are not happy in general. Your face is about to touch the floor.” Armie sighed shrugging his shoulders.

“Rejections can be hard sometimes.” He mumbled looking away from his friend.

Henry looked at him, understanding and feeling sympathetic. He knew how it felt being rejected even though he had never expressed his feelings out loud and he had never been verbally rejected.

He wasn’t so sure if he liked this new and improved version of his friend. Sure, Armie was showing more feelings than he ever had, but it wasn’t that good since he was sad and desperate.

Armie never had the need to feel loved or accepted by anyone. He was always confident standing on his own two feet. And now seeing him so small and vulnerable made Henry feel more concerned than happy.

“This isn’t you Armz. What happened to the strong man I know? I’m not saying that what you’ve become is bad, but you’re a completely different person in just a few months. What happened to your pride and your will to move on? Why you got stuck on French Cinderella, and you can’t see anything else apart from him?” Henry mumbled. Armie shook his head rubbing his face with his large palms.

“I’ve changed. That’s what people do. They change after something big happens to them. And my heart, it won’t let me leave him, give up without a fight, even though after what happened today I’m very close to giving up.” He leaned his head back on the wall shutting his eyes.

Henry hummed softly placing his hand on Armie’s shoulder.

“If you plan on fighting for him then what the hell are you doing here? You should be after him, chasing and proving yourself. The Freak said something vital which you’ve completely ignored as per usual. The boy doesn’t easily trust or open up because of a past relationship of his. That night in Rome, he got drunk because of his memories. You need to make him trust you Armz. Show him that you care, mate.”

Armie looked at his friend in wonder.

“Alexander said that?” Henry nodded.

“He did, but you weren't listening; instead you were fawning over the boy’s name repeating it quietly over and over.” Henry chuckled softly looking at him with a playful smile.

He stayed quiet staring at his friend.

He didn’t know what to say or do. The only thing on his mind was their night together and how he had acted like a dick. He was mad at himself, at the way his brain had just turned off with a single touch of the beautiful boy and he could only think with his cock.

“How stupid,” Armie mumbled to himself closing his eyes. He took a deep breath through his nose.

Henry pursed his lips looking at Armie. He carefully lifted the covers off him inviting his friend to join him. Armie immediately complied getting under the blanket, pressing his large body close to Henry’s warm one. The raven-haired man pulled the covers over them and proceeded to circle his arms around Armie’s shivering body holding the man as tight as he could. The times he had seen Armie so vulnerable and trembling from the cold were few, they could be counted in one hand. Henry knew very well that Armie’s whole body would turn cold only when he was utterly dejected.

“How can I make you feel better, mate?” Henry asked looking down at his golden-haired friend, the latter shrugged tucking his head under Henry’s chin and pressed his cold body as close to Henry’s trying to warm himself up with Henry’s body heat.

“Lie to me.” He mumbled softly as Henry shivered as the taller boy run his cold hand down his body resting it upon Henry’s hip. He looked down at Armie confused about what the hell he was talking about. Armie moved away a bit till he was able to look up at his friend.

“Tell me that there’s a piece of him, even a tiny little one, which is thinking about me.” Armie’s voice was barely above a whisper. His heart was breaking piece by piece inside his chest, and he hated it. He hated the fact that he was not wanted by the person who had caused him to changed his perspective and see the world through different eyes. Timmy had taken Armie’s stone heart inside his delicate hands and had turned it into a soft breakable thing leaving Armie entirely overwhelmed trying to deal with his emotions and newly found vulnerability.

“I’m not going to lie to you because I truly believe that he is thinking about you. Not only with one piece of himself but with his whole heart. And I believe that he is torn in two just like you are. He is torn between his heart and his mind, the good and the right. He will come around though, I promise you that.” He tenderly ran his hand down Armie’s back something very uncharacteristic of him. Henry was confused and unsure how he was supposed to act around this new version of Armie who looked so breakable. He was used to being able to joke around with his friend. They would confess their darkest needs and thoughts to each other, sometimes they would even act them out. Although the two of them were friends, they quite enjoyed experimenting with each other in the sexual department without thinking it twice because they knew they could be open with each other without the pressure of a relationship on their shoulders and the awkwardness or the embarrassment they would experience if something went wrong.

Henry looked down at his friend who was curled on his chest, his tall and muscular frame looked significantly smaller making Henry more confused on how Armie had managed to make himself look so little.

“He made me feel the vulnerability I was craving all these years. He stripped me clean without even knowing me or my intentions for him. He put me in the position of everyone I was with all these years. All these with just one tiny sentence. He tore my walls apart. Do you see now why he is so important to me? Because he made me feel everything I was craving. I had this impossible to be satisfied hunger and emptiness deep inside me, the need to fill it with all the different kinds of feelings and somehow, he satisfied my craving and filled the void. He stuffed me up to the brim with hope, happiness and so much sadness and vulnerability which is slowly and steadily overflowing out of me. And I want, I need to make him mine. I need to show him what he did to me and give back to him. The only thing in my mind is him and I being tender with each other and gentle, so gentle to the point where it’s tooth rotting. You can’t understand how bad I need it, Henry.” Armie looked up at Henry, his sapphire eyes looking glossy with tiny diamond-like tears in the corners of his eyes threatening to escape. His lower lip was trembling, and so were his large hands, he was like a tall, strong tree getting hit by the strongest hurricane.

He could now understand why hurricanes were named after people. He now had his own hurricane. A hurricane with the prettiest green eyes he had ever come across and the most sinful cherry lips.

Hurricane Timothée. Something that sounded oh so soft yet it was stronger than anyone could imagine.

“I want to touch his soul as gently as I can, then cradle his heart in my hands like the precious gem it is. And then his body, I want to make love to him, slow, sweet and gentle. I want to intertwine our minds and bodies, hear our hearts beat as one, till our shadows become one.” He let his sapphire eyes fall shut, imagining a world where it would be just the two of them, without the fear of loving and getting hurt, only love and no hurt.

It sounded so lovely in his head. Pure too.

Something he wasn’t. He was far from it actually.

He took a deep breath as he felt himself slowly coming back down to reality and sat up on the bed looking at Henry with worry filled his eyes.

“He should never find out who I really am, H.” He stuttered out, his wild eyes darting around in panic, thinking that if he finally had got a chance with Timmy, his real identity would ruin everything for them, Timmy would hate him like any sane person would. As his breathing got shallow and his hands fisted the sheets, Henry sat up next to him ready to take the matter in his own two hands, and calm Armie down like the light-haired man always did for him ever since they were kids.

“Relax, Armz. Stop thinking about it, focus on my voice and breath. C’mon, mate, breath.” Henry mumbled cupping Armie’s face in his hands trying to get Armie to focus his wild eyes on him.

Henry wrapped a gentle hand around the back of Armie’s neck and squeezed the skin there making Armie instantly look at him.

“That’s it, breath in and out, good boy,” Henry mumbled. His eyes not leaving Armie’s for a second, his voice loud and clear, holding no emotion it, just pure dominance which had caught Armie’s attention and slowly and steadily awakened the submissive in him.

A small whimper left his lips, the sound almost resembling a hurt puppy, making Henry’s heart clench at the sound.

“You’re okay.” He mumbled manoeuvring the slightly taller boy onto his lap, biting his lips finally taking a good look at Armie. The man’s strong shoulders were slumped forward creating an illusion that they weren’t as broad, his hard chest was rising as falling quickly as his sides were sucked in from his attempts to breathe as deeply as he could to prevent himself from going into a panic attack.

Henry smoothed his hands down Armie’s sides and let his fingers rest a little above his ribs feeling under his skin the way Armie breathed. He then leaned forward and pressed his lips on Armie’s already parted lips and breathed into his mouth. Suddenly Henry felt Armie’s hands on his shoulders holding them tightly trying to pull the raven hair man closer to him. Armie closed his eyes and slowly kissed Henry’s rough lips, the feeling of familiarity and the way Henry had breathed into his mouth had succeeded to calm him down.

“You’re okay, baby,” Henry repeated on Armie’s lips and kissed him again, more forcefully this time, the latter letting out a low throaty moan and gripping Henry’s skin tighter, his hands leaving angry red marks as they slid from his shoulders down his back.

“I’m okay.” Armie nodded dazed and ran his lips down the side of Henry’s face, the man’s stubble scratched his lips in the process but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Good.” Henry gritted out as Armie pushed his hips forward, needing to be as close to Henry as possible, needing to be touched intimately in the way only Henry knew how to touch him. He wanted it to hurt so good till it sent his body into the floating mode Henry somehow managed to pull him under each time he took control of Armie’s body. Henry wrapped his arms around Armie’s muscular thighs and laid the man next to him before crawling over his body and making himself comfortable on Armie’s tighs.

He ran his hands down Armie’s chest, his lips pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses on his shoulders then they trailed over to his neck. He sucked just under where Armie’s jaw connected with his neck knowing it was his weakness making Armie let out a shaky breath and tangle his long fingers in Henry’s raven hair pulling him closer to him.

Armie shuddered when Henry’s hand came in contact with the burning skin of his cock which was laying on his thigh and started stroking him into hardness. Henry bit hard down on Armie’s golden skin. A soft choked out ‘fuck’ escaped Armie’s red bitten lip as he watched how Henry’s slender fingers jerked him off, an image he had seen a lot of times, but never failed to arouse him, always got off on the sight of someone else touching his body.

A breathy moan escaped his lips when he felt Henry’s lips trail down from his neck to his chest, his skilled tongue flicked the rosy bud of his nipple. A devilish smirk formed on Henry’s lips, the dominant beast inside him growling with pride because he was the one making Armie’s body tremble, and his skin flush a lovely shade of red from the pleasure. He could smell Armie’s arousal, almost taste it on the tip of his tongue.

His own cock twitched where it laid forgotten between his legs, and he reached down with his other hand squeezing his base, biting back a moan at the contact.

“I want to touch you,” Armie said, his voice was small yet rough, almost fucked out and Henry had barely started.

“No, not yet.” Henry shook his head and leaned down, his hot breath tickled the skin of Armie’s cock. Armie shivered and threw his head back when he felt Henry’s tongue expertly licking away the white bead of precum which had formed in the slit.

Henry closed his eyes savouring the tangy bittersweet taste of Armie’s pre-cum. He licked his lips before pressing them back against the burning red head of Armie’s cock in a sucking motion trying to get more of Armie’s sweet taste. He pulled back and nosed along the large length in his hand and continued stroking it harder than before.

Henry raised his eyes up at Armie, drinking in the image of his friend looking as sinful as he did. His blue eyes were glassy and hazy with arousal, beads of sweat were running down from his hairline to the sides of his face down his neck towards his chest. His cheeks were painted with a lovely red colour as well as his chest. His hair was a mess from rubbing his head in the pillow as he writhed around and his hands were fisting the sheets.

Henry figured out that he could postpone his craving of scenting Armie’s skin where he smelled the strongest for a little later suddenly desperately needing to satisfy his new found need to run his tongue over Armie’s sweaty skin and taste the salty taste of him. He leaned up again positioning himself back on Armie’s lap and cradled Armie’s face in both of his hands pulling the man closer to him. Armie blindly complied chasing the feeling of Henry’s lips. The raven-haired lad smirked at that and without being asked twice he pressed his lips once more on Armie’s.

Armie’s blood was singing inside his veins, all of his thoughts had jumped out of the window a while ago. He felt calm and sated even though he hadn’t reached an orgasm yet. His head was clouded and foggy feeling almost as if he was high on ecstasy, his body feeling light almost as if he was floating and the only thing that kept him grounded was Henry’s voice mumbling praises in his ear in a low growly voice which sent shivers down Armie’s spine and made his cock throb.

Armie closed his eyes as Henry’s hand gripped his chin in a tight grip and his wicked skilled tongue came out and licked away the little beads of sweat which had formed by his hairline. Armie thought that he shouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as he did. Henry’s lips followed the rest of the trails of sweat which had run down his shoulders, slowly kissing them away, leaving his skin clean.

He sneakily moved his hand lower closing his hand around his own cock in a tight grip, needing to take the edge off. He whimpered when Henry slapped his hand away with a sound that resembled a snarl and all Armie could think of was if Henry was actually human or some kind of animal had taken over him due to the animalistic sounds he made.

“Be good for me Armie, you’ve been so good so far,” Henry mumbled and went back to his previous place, his lips centimetres away from Armie’s hard cock. He started nosing at the beautiful length again, this time closing his eyes as he inhaled the earthy natural scent of Armie’s skin and his arousal.

He brought two fingers up to his mouth wetting them before using them to circle Armie’s hole making Armie raise his waist up from the bed and close his legs. Henry slapped his thigh hard. Armie gasped at his friend’s action but couldn’t help but feel more turned on, his cock leaking pre-cum where it rested fully hard on his tummy.

“I told you to be good, didn’t I?” Henry raised an eyebrow, his whole demeanour changing, hardening, he sounded cross. Armie nodded quickly and whispered a soft ‘sorry’ not knowing what else to do in his hazy state.

Henry quickly pushed his two fingers inside Armie, making the hazy-eyed man inhale sharply, not used to having something inside him. He had fingered himself a couple of times when he was alone and had secretly loved it but had never allowed anyone else to do so.

Henry watched as his finger’s disappeared inside Armie’s hot pucker, the silky tight walls clumping around his fingers, trying to suck them in deeper instead of rejecting them which pleasantly surprised the raven haired man.

After a few seconds of moving them in and out, he added another one before he curled them wanting to find the spot which would make Armie cry out in pleasure. When he did, the reaction he received was completely different from what he expected. He had expected Armie to gasp in surprise at the newfound feeling of pleasure. Instead, he pushed his hips on Henry’s fingers, fucking himself on them. Henry quickly caught on the fact that it wasn’t the first time someone had fingered Armie.

“You little slut, whose finger’s have you had inside you?” Henry accused increasing his rhythm, moving his fingers in a punishing pace. Armie’s body shook at that, his hands held the sheets tighter as his cock leaked more and more of the pearlescent liquid, his stomach tightening at the sensation.

“Mine, only mine.” He stuttered, a cry escaped his lips when Henry withdrew his fingers, he was so close to coming! He looked up at Henry ready to ask him why he had done that finding him already looking at Armie with dark eyes, imagining his friend with his long limbs spread over in his bed, his fingers pumping quickly in and out of his tight hole bringing himself to orgasm.

“W-why did you stop?” Armie breathed out. Henry didn’t answer, just wrapped his hand around his own neglected cock and started stroking himself while leaning over Armie’s body.

“You kept this from me, you didn’t allow me the pleasure of seeing you like that, vulnerable with your fingers inside you, getting yourself off.” Henry moaned out as he tightened his grip around his cock. Armie didn’t speak just kept eyeing the fat cock hungrily. Henry chuckled darkly at that.

“Bet you want a taste don’t you?” Armie nodded parting his lips, sticking his tongue out, looking like a thirsty puppy. Henry smirked at that and gripped Armie’s face with the same hand he had fingered Armie, pushing his digits on Armie’s tongue.

“You don’t get to taste Armz,” He tsked and continued stroking himself. He leaned back on his knees watching Armie desperately writhing on the bed trying to stay put and not touch himself as he had instructed him. He let his eyes linger on the red cock, resting against Armie’s thigh, the head was an angry red colour from the lack of stimulation, and it was wet from the amount of pre-cum it had leaked. It looked painful, to say the least, and Henry decided he had made both himself and Armie suffer enough or the day.

“Let’s make you cum shall we?” He muttered, his tone softer than before as he pressed his length against Armie’s and wrapped his hand around both of them in a tight grip. Armie moaned out loud when Henry’s warm lenght came in contact with his own and moved his hips in the same pace Henry moved his hand desperately wanting to cum.

Henry used his other hand and rubbed the head of Armie’s cock the way he knew Armie liked it driving Armie crazy. His hips faltered starting to move irregularly but more forcefully the way he did when he was with Timmy and was chasing his orgasm. He bit hard down on his lip as his thighs spasmed the orgasm hit him like a tidal waved, a cry of Timmy’s name escaped his lips as he painted his chest and Henry’s had with the bittersweet white substance.

His chest was heaving, and his eyes rolled back in his head, body feeling smaller than it felt before and completely weightless, his head buzzing with the pleasant aftershocks of his orgasm. He closed his eyes resting back on the pillows which felt harsh against his too sensitive skin.

He felt soft hands caressing his body and whispering sweet things, a faint smile appeared on his lips as in his dizziness he heard a quiet yet clear ‘I love you.’

“I love you, Timothée.” He breathed out, his eyes shutting his whole body giving up on him and giving in the warmth that surrounded him.

Henry covered Armie’s body with the sheet as carefully as he could, knowing that his skin got too sensitive when he got like this, and everything scratched him.

He laid down next to Armie his heart clenching as he watched him peacefully sleep without a frown on his face, looking younger and almost angelic. He ran his fingers through Armie’s hair, feeling a stinging pain somewhere deep him at the soft smile on Armie’s lips as Armie thought that Henry was someone else. Someone who couldn’t care less about Armie.

He pressed his lips in on the side of Armie’s face in a gentle kiss before letting his own eyes fall shut, dreaming of an entirely different word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the weather?   
> Come throw things at me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I hope you had a lovely week and you're all okay. Thank you so much for the comments on the last chapter you know they mean the world to me.   
> So this chapter wasn't planned out when I first started writing this story I came up with it last week when I finished editing the last chapter and I felt as if there was a plot hole between the previous chapter and the next one and things moved too fast and too weird so I sat down and wrote this one. It's not Beta'd as usual, I don't have a Beta reader so I do all of the work on my own sometimes I ask some of my closest friends for advice and I have an amazing person who helps me so much with the chapters and I felt the need to publicly thank them because this would have not happened without them, they know who they are I am not going to say their name, but I do want to thank them so, thank you, I appreciate you, you've been a true inspiration to me.  
> I hope you guys will love this chapter, I personally like it quite a bit and I'm very proud of how it turned out. Leave me a comment down below telling me your thoughts.  
> Alright you guys! I'll see you all next week! I love you all so much and I would have done nothing without your support you mean the world to me, you truly do.

Alexander stared at Henry from across the hallway. His green and blue eyes studied the raven-haired man’s appearance. Henry was known for always being clean-cut, his hair would always be perfectly styled even in the early morning when he went to get coffee for him and Armie, his clothes were always ironed, and even if they were worn, they didn’t have a single wrinkle in them, and he was fresh-faced even when he lacked sleep.

Today he was different.

His raven hair was dishevelled, he had no shirt on, and his dark joggers had spots on them. He had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked pale, tired. He was barefoot too. He looked shaky and jumpy, something Alexander knew very well that Henry wasn’t. He was too cocky for his own good.

At first glance, anyone would have thought that Henry was coming down with the flu, but Alex knew it wasn’t the case.

Henry wasn’t sick but he wasn’t just tired either. He had a long active night which had emotionally drained him. He was overwhelmed, the feelings and the thoughts swirling around inside his head were making him lightheaded. It was all too much for him.

Alex pushed his back away from the wall and walked towards Henry, he had to meet Armie soon anyway.

Henry felt hot as he felt a pair of eyes intensely staring at him. As much he loved the feeling and the thrill of having all the attention on him, he didn’t like this particular pair of eyes, he was so familiar with. He raised his gaze to meet Alexander’s intense and focused stare locked on him as if he was a target and Alex was a gun ready to shoot.

He hated the way Alexander looked at him, he made him feel naked in a way. His eyes were piercing and almost penetrated his soul, stripped away the layers of skin and got to the secrets he had hidden under the rough surface and saw the truth, he then proceeded to read his thoughts and his feelings. It terrified Henry because he didn’t want Alexander to know his secrets or anyone else, not even Armie. At least not yet. He didn’t know what Alexander would possibly do with that information, but he had a few scary scenarios in his head. All of them were centred around humiliation. He pictured himself in the middle of a crowd of people who laughed and pointed fingers at him while Alexander would stand a little further way yet would somehow manage to whisper in their ears more and more about Henry. What he would tell them would make them stop laughing but instead go dark and close up on Henry with angered and judging, disapproving and vicious stare which would make Henry’s knees buckle in fear of what would follow.

“Henry,” Alex said, his expression stoic as usual, his eyes dull almost lifeless but harsh making Henry shiver harder. Alexander reminded him of the sharks he saw in the aquariums when he was little, their eyes were dead just like Alexander’s and they held absolutely no emotion running in their veins, they were just cold-blooded killers. As far as he knew Alexander wasn’t a serial killer or something along those lines but again he wouldn’t swear on it. And with his thoughts running on the loose, he wasn’t too sure about anything.

“Alexander,” Henry nodded stiffly, feeling his blood run cold as the curly haired man’s eyes trailed down his body almost as if he was taking an X-Ray of him.

“Where’s Armie?” He asked. Henry almost cried out in relief due to the sifting of attention from him to his absent friend.

“He is taking a shower, he’ll be out in a minute.” He answered running his fingers through his hair awkwardly averting his gaze the second Alex’s eyes met his making his heart quicken inside his chest.

He truly hated how Alex made him feel.

“He had a rough night,” Henry added quickly trying to make a conversation. Alex nodded at that, he expected it.

“You did too,” Alex replied staring at the red marks of fingerprints on Henry’s shoulders. Henry swallowed at that and nodded.

“Was he good?” Alex asked raising an eyebrow, a sly smirk tugging at his full lips. Henry almost sputtered.

“Excuse me?”

“The guy you were with last night, was he good?” Alex pressed further. Henry’s eyes widened at that. How could Alex possibly know that he was a guy instead of a girl?

“The marks are too big, now yes I know that there are girls who have big hands, their hands though, still are delicate. These marks are from a male hand, you can see it from the fading fingerprints, the thumb is shorter, and the pinky is longer. Women have shorter pinkies, usually are three-fourths of the length of the middle finger. There are exceptions, of course, there are, but the astonished look on your face is another proof that I am right, as always. Now, he is equally as strong as us, he was obviously bottoming. How do I know that? He was less powerful due to haziness from his post orgasm and the pleasure he felt, which is why the marks are fading. If he were in power they’d be a darker colour and probably more bruised,” Alex explained moving closer to Henry pressing his fingers where Armie’s fingerprints laid. His big hands were warm against Henry’s cold skin. Way too warm, Henry felt as if molten lava was running down his body.

“See? Even mine fit.” He mumbled with a devilish smirk. If Henry wasn’t horrified by Alex finding out that he had indeed slept – not exactly slept- with a man, said man being in the shower right now washing the aftermath of their night together, he would have been impressed by his mad skills, charisma, whatever the fuck was that made Alex put the two and two together so quickly. He didn’t know if he was just that smart or incredibly observant or both.

What terrified him the most was that now someone knew one of his secrets. And that was that he was gay. Henry had never uttered a word about his sexuality because he wasn’t entirely comfortable with it yet. And not even Armie knew, which made Henry feel like he was using Armie when the two experimented. They hadn’t gone as far as fucking, no that was something they hadn’t done, Henry doubted they ever would. And although he knew that it was common for friends to experiment with each other Henry still felt like he was betraying Armie by being dishonest.

His mind went back to Saoirse, the blue-eyed beauty he had met a few days ago, he liked her as a friend, and he didn’t want to use her to cover up who he truly was, so maybe it wasn’t so bad after all that Alex found out? He couldn’t tell, at least not yet.

He looked at the mysterious and creepy man standing in front of him, who not only was clever but was wise well beyond his years. And as creepy and mad as he found Alex he also profoundly respected him even though he rarely showed it opting to be rude to him or avoiding him at all costs.

There was something about Alexander which made his head spin. Maybe it was his intelligence, the way he just happened to know so many things only by looking at someone or perhaps that he knew things. He was smart no doubt, but his knowledge was extensive, it wasn’t focused on just one thing. Sure, he was an expert at something, creeping the fuck out of Henry, but the man could talk about history, different cultures, economy, laws and art, as well as pop culture easily. And Henry, he admired that, although the times he had heard Alex speak like a normal person and not a perfectly programmed robot could be counted in one hand.

He breathed out looking up at the man’s different coloured eyes hoping for at least once in his life to see something else than emptiness. He was disappointed when he found nothing but dullness in the blue and green orbs. He couldn’t understand how his eyes could look so dead yet have a scorching fire in them. Alex was a mystery, one Henry wasn’t planning to solve anytime soon and possibly wouldn’t be able to even if he tried.

He placed his other hand on top of Alexander’s removing it from his shoulder and looked back down at the marble floor. His shoulder and hand felt tingly from where the curly haired man had touched him, and he made a mental note to check for any burns later even though he knew it was not likely and he was just straight up being stupid.

To his rescue came Armie, emerging from their shared dorm fully dressed and hair slightly wet from his shower, the root darker than the ends.

He looked at Henry and then at Alexander wondering for how long the two had been talking and how the hell they had managed to stay civilised and not up to each other's throats due to Henry’s witty – rude – remarks and Alexander’s extremely short temper. He found it miraculous that the two hadn’t killed each other. Yet he could see that Henry’s eyes were wide with alarm as he looked back at Armie.

Armie didn’t question it. He would deal with it later.

“Morning, Alexander.” He greeted with a soft smile, still not feeling himself entirely after last night. Alex tore his gaze from Henry and focused it on Armie for a few seconds giving him a quick once over, something Armie was used to and didn’t bother him.

“Morning, mate.” Alexander greeted back looking back at Henry with a small smug smile. Henry felt his stomach tightening figuring out that Alexander’s smile meant no good.

Armie cleared his throat sensing the tension between the two Alpha males.

“Shall we go? I could use a coffee.”Alex nodded agreeing with the taller man before locking eyes with Henry once more.

“Have a nice day, H.” He mumbled surprising both Armie and Henry who just nodded taken aback and continued looking at Alex as he turned away not waiting for a response walking after Armie.

Alex and Armie made it out of the university without saying exchanging a word. They kept walking in silent practised agreement towards their usual coffee shop they got coffee after their runs in the mornings.

Alex could see that Armie was fidgety when they sat down, his fingers were toying with Timmy’s pendant something which could pass as a nervous manner, but Alex knew better than that. Alex also noticed that Armie didn’t dare to look up at him, just like when Armie had walked up to him to ask him about Timmy. When Armie ordered he stuttered, something he never did, not even when he was nervous. Alex focused his gaze on Armie’s hands when his long fingers circled around his cup of coffee – un Café, espresso, no sugar or milk.

He mentally measured Armie’s finger’s even though he didn’t have to do so. He already had his answer when he saw the marks on Henry’s shoulders and had smelled Armie’s earthy and strong scent all over Henry’s body, hell, he bet even the cum which stained Henry’s joggers belonged to Armie.

He bit his tongue and remained quiet knowing very well that Armie sleeping with his best friend was his own unhealthy coping mechanism from his heartache from Timmy’s harsh words, although he wasn’t aware how bitter Timmy had gotten when he was left alone with Armie.

What Alex knew for sure was that Timmy was in as much pain as Armie. The small boy had clung on Alexander’s and Harry’s bodies all through the night sniffling quietly trying not to wake up the two sleeping men who encircled him and kept him warm and safe. Alex had woken up to Timmy pressed on his chest quietly mumbling in his sleep Armie’s name and begging to forgive him.

Alex had found it adorable and heartbreaking at the same time, he had pressed the softest kiss he could manage to Timmy’s sweet lips and got off the bed to go for a run needing to clear his head, figure out what he was supposed to tell Armie.

Armie sighed feeling confused and still cold, he felt sick. The warmth of the coffee was the only thing that kept him warm, the heavy jacket he wore did nothing to warm him up. When he woke up tangled in the cum stained and heavy smelling bed sheets him and Henry had soiled last night he felt weak. He didn’t have the power to get up and meet Alex. He didn’t even know why he was going to meet Alex although Armie was the one who had requested Alex to meet him for coffee.

He didn’t have anything to say. And if he did it would be a repetition of his feelings about Timmy and his questions about the mysterious angelic creature who had a very harsh side to him and wasn’t afraid to show it.

He placed his head in his hands and closed his eyes. Armie was surprised how Alex hadn’t uttered a word so far. He was sure the man had a lot to say but for some reason had decided to keep his mouth shut, probably for Armie’s sake.

“Can I be frank with you?” Armie suddenly muttered looking up at Alexander, sitting across from him and calmly sipping his black tea. The man nodded placing his steaming mug down, showing Armie he had his full attention.

“I don’t know if I can do this. If I should keep fighting for someone who obviously despises me and has issues to solve with himself. I have issues too, I’m not implying that I’m perfect because I’m far from that I just - ” Armie sighed again leaning back on his metal chair crossing his arms on his chest looking at the empty street.

“I don’t know what to do.” He desperately looked back at Alexander. The man just took a sip of his tea and looked away from Armie. Armie almost wanted to hurl at him the half-empty cup of Espresso for being so insanely calm and apathetic on a situation like this, but he didn’t know what he expected from him. He watched him as he placed his cup down licking his lips in the process and raised his gaze up at Armie, his dull eyes meeting Armie’s.

“Did you expect him to fall back in your arms as if nothing had happened?” He calmly asked. Armie’s brain froze at that. Was he expecting that? What was he expecting from Timmy? What did he want from him?

“I-I, uh, I  don’t know.” He said in a small voice. Alex raised an eyebrow at that.

“You don’t know, or you never thought about that?” Armie didn’t answer making Alex nod.

“Look, you and I aren’t best friends, and we don’t know each other too well but I will tell you what I know about you Armie, and maybe that will make things less complicated.” It was Armie’s turn to nod. Alex leaned forward looking Armie in the eyes making him momentarily freeze. It felt almost like Alex was reading him, he was rummaging through his past, his thoughts digging out the darkest secrets and his deepest regrets.

The heterochromatic eyed man just smiled softly before speaking up.

“You and Timmy have a lot in common believe it or not.” He muttered but before Armie was able to ask what that meant Alex was continuing.

“You have a secret something big which you’re terrified will surface, and you’ll lose the very few people who love you, and that’s one of your biggest fears which isn’t letting you be completely honest not only with the others but with yourself too. Timmy awakened inside your feelings. Deep emotions which are tearing you apart and eating you alive from inside out because you’ve never felt so confused in your life before. You're whole ‘I don’t know’ attitude isn’t just because you don’t know the answer but because you’ve never had the chance to feel something as strong as this. You used to make people feel this way, and now that the tables have turned you’re close to losing your mind so you do everything to fill the void and you’re doing it all wrong, Armie. Instead of trying to fill the emptiness you should try to understand why Timmy is acting so harsh, why he won’t give you a chance to prove yourself.” Alexander’s words felt like a punch in Armie’s stomach, they took all of the air from his lungs.

“I hurt him,” Armie answered after a few seconds of deafening silence. Alex disagreed.

“No, he was hurt long before you came along. You just made him break his promise to himself not to be used again. And technically you didn’t use him since he wanted you and he wants you as much you want him, possibly more than you do. He hasn’t spent a single day not thinking about you ever since Rome.” Armie’s heart quickened at that.

“What are you trying to say?” Alexander rolled his eyes and silently cursed at Armie for being an idiot.

“I’m trying to say that he is going to give you a chance, he just needs to work it a bit more out with himself.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know him like I know myself, Armie. Bloody hell I know him better than myself. He was in too deep since day one he just failed to realise it. Timmy does most of the things with his brain, he thinks and thinks and thinks before acting out but there are times when his heart takes control. You can see it in his features in his whole personality, he gets softer and tender and has a heartwarming smile and a fucking adorable giggle because that’s who he is. Timmy is a great person who loves to make the others smile and adores being free, dancing around while wearing mine or Harry’s shirts while Haz plays old classic rock songs which you can’t always dance to but somehow Timmy fucking manages to dance. You should see the way he smiles so bright then, the way he fucking giggles and his wild curls dance around him too. He looks like the sun himself. Timmy let himself free that night with you, but he was too scared to admit it even to himself because of his jack arse of an ex-boyfriend. Give him time, he will come around. Let him do it at his own pace. Let him work it with himself.”

Armie didn’t say a word. He just stared at Alexander whose walls suddenly seemed like they had crumbled down. His eyes were no longer empty. Inside them was something else which he couldn’t accurately pinpoint. Maybe it was desperation but why would Alex be desperate for Armie to leave Timmy to his own devices until he worked it out with himself or why would he be desperate to help their situation? Why was he doing all these anyway?

The man had gone already too far just by setting them up on dinner so the two could meet again yet, here he was still trying to help Armie something which Armie found odd.

He did his best to attempt to figure Alexander out just by looking at him the way Alexander did, but he didn’t find much.

Alex was uptight, had a frown and his lips were pursed, eyes cold as usual, and Armie was positive Alex was trying to figure out- had already figured out- what Armie was royally failing to do.

“You won’t be able to figure me out just my watching me and my movements. They are too precise, calculated to give nothing away but a few of my tastes. Not even the most qualified psychologist would be able to see through me” Alex mumbled and picked up his tea again, looking away from Armie.

“Why are you like this thought? Were you always like this?” Armie questioned and leaned forward, placing his elbows on the small round table and looked at Alexander.

“Like this?” Alex looked at him, his eyebrows raised in amusement. Armie nodded and tried to find the right words to explain himself.

“You mean stone cold and apathetic? Not letting anything touch me and reading people as if they are magazines? Yes and no.”

“Then I guess the correct question is, what made you like this?” Alex scoffed.

“The answer is simple. Life, life made me who I am today. A series of unfortunate events which hit my skin like bullets one after another. I was a difficult child, more than the others because I observed. I observed people instead of playing with little wooden toys. I had the most bizarre questions you could ever imagine, I wanted to know and understand everything, and I got annoyed when I didn’t. My parents didn’t know what to do with me, they didn’t know how to deal with my questions so they turned their backs to me and I relied on Harry to help me understand the world. And he did, and with that, we grew closer, we started thinking alike, we could understand each other without even speaking. People called it a twin bond but oh, it was far more than that. It was hours upon hours locked inside our room looking at each other and figuring things out as we went. When we went to school, Harry spread his wings and made friends, discovered music and I staid back watching, observing and knowing things.” He looked away from Armie as he recalled memories of his childhood.

“So I guess yeah, I was always like this, but I wasn’t as bad as I am now. I used to do things, I enjoyed things, but at some point, I stopped. Because I knew too much and knowing too much can drive you insane. I lost interest in a lot of things and became focused on perfecting my curse. By twelve I could look at people and know where they had been, what they had eaten, with who they had talked, everything. It was exhausting even for me. People hated me for who I was, and I hated myself for the exact same reason. I was called names, I still am. Freak being the most common as well as psychopath, while some others were most creative like Pythia even though it was wrong considering, she didn’t give straightforward answers. Instead, she gave them prophecies which they had to figure out because they weren’t entirely put together, sometimes they were just one word. Then I met people who accepted me, I met a girl who accepted me, and I fell in love with her. I lost her before I had the chance to tell her.”

Alex stopped talking, his face returning to its usual stone cold expression leaving Armie gaping at him.

He couldn’t understand how after such a confession he went back to being emotionless. He thought how a few minutes ago when he was talking about Timmy he looked human instead of a stone. How his skin had warmed up, there was a soft rosy colour on his cheeks, it didn’t look like cold porcelain anymore but actual skin. His eyes were bright, twinkling with different emotions which came and went way too fast for Armie to understand each one and all of them, his expression softened, he looked young and vulnerable in a way, passionate, loving every second talking about Timmy. Armie could say that Alexander almost looked charming.

“You care about Timmy a lot, don’t you?” Armie asked surprising Alex.

Alexander lowered his gaze staring at the cup resting between his large hands, as colour found it’s way back to his skin warming it up, making him look alive once more. The smart-mouthed mam didn’t speak, chose to nod instead. A very soft nod which could have been passed as just a simple movement of the head. Armie then realised that Alex was shy.

Shy and humbled by his feelings for Timmy.

Seeing Alexander feeling something, being as shy as he was, blushed cheeks and the skin of his neck flashed red, reminded Armie that Alexander was human too. A little more complicated than the others but still human. Alexander’s words about his childhood, how his parents had turned their backs to him because he wanted to understand the big world extending in front of his innocent five-year-old eyes and how later on he was called names right in front of his face because he was who he was, stirred something inside of Armie. He  thought about all the times he had heard Henry badmouthing Alex behind his back, calling him names and saying how creepy and weird he was, Armie couldn’t help but feel sympathetic towards the man, although he didn’t know how Alexander felt, he couldn’t understand because he had never been in his position.

“I could try to describe to you how much I care and how much he means to me, but it would be impossible because it is a feeling and you can’t possibly describe something as powerful as it. I can’t explain to you the warmth inside my chest when I’m around him, the happiness and comfort and relief I feel knowing he is safe and sound. It’s deeper than love. It’s admiration and respect, something so bloody humbling which makes you feel pride for having someone like him in your life. It’s freeing how comfortable we are around each other, how we can stay silent just basking in each other’s presence and feel warm and safe. Safe, another thing he makes me feel. There’s nothing pretentious between us, no reason to act in a certain way in fear of being judged. I don’t have to be smart, and he doesn’t have to be uptight.”

“You looked desperate before when you were telling me how I should step back and let Timmy take his time, why was that?” Alexander pursed his lips at that.

“I told you not to try to see through me, didn’t I? I wasn’t desperate if anything you are the one who’s desperate and is making one mistake after another. I’m trying to make you realise that what you want isn’t going to happen so easily as you’ve already seen and it’s not your fault, it’s not Timmy’s fault either. Some things take time, and right now you both need it even if you think you don’t. You need to work things out with yourself too if you want things between the two of you to work. And of course not drag other people in.” He mumbled slower the last part.

“Wh-what do you mean drag other people in?” Armie stuttered, flashbacks from last night came back to him, he wasn’t making things easier for himself, and if Alexander had speculating what happened last night between him and Henry, he was now confirming it without using words.

Alex just smirked and looked at the watch on his wrist. He made a face and took the cup of now cold tea in his hands and drunk the remaining tea in one go.

“I should get going.” He stood up fixing the collar of his coat and grabbed his sunglasses from the table.

“Do you know what happened last night?”

“Have a good day, mate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang out with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all? I hope you had a lovely week!   
> I wanna thank you all so much for your sweet comments on the last chapter they mean so much to me and I'm so happy you guys like Alex, he is one of my favourite characters and he is so much fun to write! Who's your favourite character so far?  
> Now this chapter is a little messy and if things don't make sense I'm so sorry, I did my best but this isn't my favourite chapter either and I'm not too proud of it.   
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you think! I love interacting with you and knowing what you guys think or you wish will happen on the next chapters!  
> Thank you so much for reading.   
> I appreciate all of you so much!  
> Alright you guys I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Have a lovely weekend!  
> Bisous x

The hallways of the university were buzzing with life, loud music could be heard shutting out the chatter of the students. The first party of the year had started just a few minutes ago, and everyone was either in the forecourt where one of the many bands of the uni was playing or around in the hallways talking animatedly, introducing themselves to the sophomores in hopes of ending up in their beds.

Timmy was still inside the safety of his dorm away from the prying eyes. Troye had left just before the party had started, wanting to find a friend of his before the hallways turned into seas of people. Timmy had waved him off not paying any attention to his words as he stared dumbly at the oldest twin sitting on his bed next to his brother, not believing what he was seeing.

“I can’t believe you cut it off!” He exclaimed suddenly as he stared at Harry. His handsome features stood out more now, and his jaw looked sharper if that was possible with his new haircut. His shoulder-length hair was now shorter, going a little lower from his ears.

“It had gotten too long, love,” Harry said looking up at Timmy who still looked shocked.

“You could have told me! I liked it long!” The shorter boy said making Harry chuckle, a smirk slowly forming on his plump lips.

“Knew you were a size queen, but I didn’t know you had a thing for other long things too.” He smiled smugly, earning an eye roll from Timmy.

“You are insufferable, brother dear,” Alex said, Timmy immediately agreed with him.

“Quiet down, blood.” The Harry said watching Timmy, who was slowly getting out of his daze. He made his way over to his wardrobe and took a small makeup bag out. Harry felt excitement rushing through his veins and sat up straighter as the smaller boy returned.

Harry opened his arms inviting Timmy to sit on his lap, who happily indulged to Harry’s silent request making himself comfortable on the boy’s lap, his knees bent on each side of Harry’s thighs. The older boy smiled softly and placed his hands on Timmy’s small waist. Timmy smiled, looking at Harry and gently pushed a few of Harry’s curls away from his face.

“Just gold, right?” He questioned softly as he took out of the makeup bag a little eyeshadow palette. Harry nodded softly as he continued to stroke the boy’s side, his hands slowly getting under his sweater coming in contact with soft pale skin.

“Yes, but I might line my waterlines with a bit of black, I’m not sure yet.” Timmy hummed softly and gently instructed Harry to close his eyes. The older boy shut his eyes, exposing his eyelids to the smaller of the two allowing him to gently tap with his index finger just a tiny bit of primer on so the glitter would, later on, stick better on Harry’s lids.

“It will look really nice.” He smiled at Harry, pressing a kiss on his cheek before taking a flat eyeshadow brush out of the makeup bag. Harry thanked him and shut his eyes again when Timmy asked him to do so. The smaller boy opened the eyeshadow palette and dipped his brush in the gold glitter shadow before flicking off the exes. He carefully pressed the glitter on Harry’s lids while with the other hand, he caressed the man’s sharp jaw.

“Are you gonna put on eyeshadow too, darling?” Alex asked, moved closer to inspect the smaller boy’s ministrations on his brother’s face. Timmy shook his head, making a few pieces of silky curls fall in his eyes. Alex reached out and tucked them behind his ears for him. Timmy smiled at him gratefully.

“No, I don’t think I will.” He mumbled softly, leaning a bit back to look at Harry. He took a fluffier brush out of the makeup bag and dusted away the fall out from Harry’s undereye. He then moved to finish up the other eye.

“Why not, love? You will look stunning, and we can match.” Harry said, keeping his eyes closed.

“I’m not that comfortable with it yet, I still have plenty of insecurities. And, I’m not a rock star like you.” Timmy mumbled. The older twin hummed opening his eyes to stare at the boy seated on his lap.

“Is that it, or you want to impress a certain blue-eyed man going by the name Armie?”Alex chuckled at his brother’s words and leaned back on the wall, continuing to watch the two of them. Timmy didn’t answer, he just shook his head as he ran his fingers through Harry’s curls, fixing them.

“You are stunning whether you wear makeup or not, darling.” The younger twin mumbled admiring Timmy as the smaller boy put the final touches on his brother’s makeup. His cold little heart warmed up at the sight of Timmy’s lips twitching up in a warm smile at his sweet words.

“Thank you, Alex.” Timmy smiled at the man with the dull heterochromatic eyes, which only seemed to light up when the dainty green-eyed boy was around him and his brother. These two were the lights of his eyes and heart. He belonged to them, and they belonged to him, whenever they gave him something he would give them tenfold.

To other people, Alex was rude and curt. He preferred to distance himself from people who didn’t matter to him, wanting to give whatever he had to his two loves instead of wasting it to people who would do nothing but talk about him behind his back and call him names, such as freak or sociopath. Sometimes even worse. The assumptions about him were insane, and there were times their cruel words brought him down, making him wonder what had he done to deserve their cruelty.

Deep inside, he knew the answer. He knew that some of their words were entirely correct even though nobody knew that. Nobody except his brother, his dear twin. One of the very few reasons he was still alive.

He took a deep breath through his nose, looking at the petit boy wrapped in his brother's loving embrace. He felt his chest tightening.

It wasn’t jealousy, no it was far from that.

It was guilt. Guilt because Alex couldn’t say out loud everything he wanted. He wasn’t allowed to do so, which deeply hurt him, killed him even. He hated himself each time he had to lie to Timmy about what he felt and who he truly was and what he and his brother had seen. Timmy didn’t deserve all these. He didn’t deserve being lied to.

His thoughts went back to the night Harry had walked in their flat in London holding the boy in his arms. The boy was even tinier back then. Alex could clearly remember how Timmy was soaked from the rain, his small body was curled in Harry’s arms like a scared kitten, his big green eyes were full of fear. Alex’s heart had broken at the sight of him but didn’t dare to go close to him. He had kept his distance from Timmy due to his overwhelming fear of hurting the boy. He was terrified that if he made a wrong move, he would scare the boy and hurt him.

 His love for the boy terrified him, humbled him and made him mad at himself for being a shit person.

He couldn’t wait for the day when he would be able to tell Timmy everything. A part of him, though, found that thought to be terrifying. He wasn’t sure how the boy would react, probably not too well.

Yet Alex longed to be free, without the heavy weight on his shoulders. But freedom came along with the risk of losing the person he loved the most in the world.

Harry looked at his twin who was silently staring at him and the small boy in his arms. His sad eyes looked sadder than Harry had ever seen them in a long while. It was apparent that whatever he was thinking about was bad. He watched Alex as he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing as he held back the tears.

As soon as Timmy stood up to get ready, the oldest twin turned to his brother and cupped his face in his hands looking into his mismatched eyes.

“I’ll be alright.” Alex breathed out before Harry was able to utter a single word. Harry nodded softly, knowing that his brother couldn’t talk about whatever was going on inside his head in front of their little love.

“I know you will, darling.” He gently said, leaning his forehead on Alexander’s. Both of them shut their eyes basking in each other’s warmth, something the younger twin desperately needed and only his brother could give him.

Timmy smiled, watching the two identical boys become one. The sight of the two of them fondling and nuzzling each other lovingly and made his heart sing inside his chest. He could just look at them and feel happy.

He dreaded leaving his dorm and joining the rest of the joyful students in the party, knowing that somehow fate would make him cross paths with the blue-eyed man. He had taken into consideration Alexander’s words from the other night, he had spent many hours thinking about them and how he should definitely consider giving Armie a chance but he was scared, and he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He needed his time although he knew that his time would most probably run out at some point if he didn’t do something. Armie would lose interest in him, find someone better, who would immediately fall in his strong arms.

If you asked Timmy’s heart, she was ready to give in. She had been ready to give in the moment their gazes met again after months of being apart, not knowing where the other was.

His mind, though was still holding back, it had fears which left Timmy panting with fear and doubts.

“Are you ready, love?” Harry’s gentle voice brought him back to reality. He glanced at himself in the mirror one last time and nodded before letting out a soft yes.

As expected, the hallways were filled with people as well as the schoolyard where a makeshift stage was put on allowing the universities band to play on as if they were rock stars.

Timmy couldn’t tear his eyes from Harry who was currently on stage, looking like he belonged there. The way the older boy moved and showed of his body was enticing, making you unable to keep your eyes off him. His raspy voice sounded like the finest velvet as he wholeheartedly sang the lyrics he had spend so much time perfecting. Timmy felt as if the older boy’s energy was going to tear the building down. He had heard Harry sing these songs plenty of times in their shared flat as he played the guitar and noted down the chords or changed the lyrics the way he felt sounded better. But seeing him actually performing it was something entirely different.

He looked and sounded confident as if he owned every single living soul who was watching him and hearing him sing, and it somehow felt as if he really did.

The younger twin was next to Timmy watching his brother with a fond smile on his lips, something which Timmy didn’t fail to notice and smiled to himself once more at the twins bond.

Timmy’s eyes widen as Harry walked closer to the end of the stage and turned to look at Timmy, a smirk forming on his plump lips as he sang the next lyrics.

“Told it to his lover that he told it to me, he’s gonna be an angel just you wait and see.”

Timmy gaped at him, making his smirk widen. The bastard had changed the lyrics implying he had talked to Armie about him.

He quickly turned to face Alexander, the man already having a smirk on his lips.

“When did he talk to Armie?” He asked, balling his hands in fists and pursed his lips. Alex took Timmy’s hands in his and pressed soft kisses on his knuckles. Timmy’s anger quickly washed away with Alexander’s gentle action and relaxed his hands.

“I talked to Armie, not Haz. I told him to give you some time till you come to terms with your feelings.” The older boy explained softly, not tearing his gaze away from Timmy, waiting to see any signs of anger building up again but found none. Instead, Timmy’s features softened even more and he sighed softly.

“Thank you, Alex.” He wrapped his arms around Alexander’s waist and pressed his body as close to Alex’s as possible. Alex didn’t say anything, choosing to just wrap his arms protectively around the smaller boy.

“Why do you believe so much in Armie and me?” Timmy looked up at him. Alex looked down at the boy cuddled up in his side and pressed a kiss on top of his head, taking a few seconds for himself to gather up his thoughts and come up with a suitable answer.

“Because your meeting with him wasn’t just a coincidence, petal. The universe is rarely so lazy.” Timmy blinked looking at Alex, not quite understanding what the older boy meant.

Alex quickly picked up on Timmy’s confusion and chuckled softly, swiping his thumb over Timmy’s full lips.

“There are no such things as coincidences, Timothée dear. What happens is supposed to happen, there are reasons why some things happen.” He mumbled, looking down at Timmy.

Timmy just nodded and laid his head on Alex’s shoulder, still not being able to grasp the meaning behind his words.

They remained like that for a few minutes watching Harry giving his all for his last song.

“What a voice!” A girl said from beside them a few seconds after the song finished and Harry was walking off the stage. Her accent sounded thicker and not at all French something that baffled Timmy but didn't really surprise him considering there were students from all over the world in the university.

“He is amazing, isn’t he?” Timmy turned to her. Bright blue eyes, blonde shoulder length hair with milky complexion stared back at him. The girl's smile was wide and welcoming, making Timmy instantly like her.

“He is indeed. I’m Saoirse.” She said, extending her hand towards him. Timmy smiled back at her and shook her soft hand.

“I’m Timothée, and this is my friend Alexander.” Alex turned to him at the mention of his name, his breath getting caught on his throat the moment his eyes fell upon the blonde haired girl.

His mismatched eyes took in her appearance starting from the way she had styled her blonde hair to her posture and what she was wearing and finally her face, focusing on her eyes.

He saw innocence in her eyes, kindness and gentleness. Love for classic literature and music from the way she was elegantly dressed, but there was also something rebellious firing inside her breathtaking blue eyes. He could tell that she was sharp minded and pretty witty.

She was half Irish and half American. She possibly had grown up in Ireland due to the sound of her strong accent.

“Alexander,” He mumbled, extending his hand towards her at last. She smiled softly as she stared up into his heterochromatic eyes and placed her smaller hand in his.

“Saoirse.” Her voice sent shivers down his spine, and he inhaled sharply through his nose in a futile attempt to calm down as he brought her hand up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. Her skin was soft under his rosy lips, almost like a rose petal. He allowed himself the luxury of letting his lips linger there for a few more seconds before pulling away, not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable.

“Lovely to meet you.” He mumbled, meeting her gaze once more. 

Timmy's eyes caught sight of Harry walking towards them through the sea of people. He glanced back at Alex talking with Saoirse, a soft smile was on Alexander’s lips. His heterochromatic eyes gleaming with hints of happiness and something else which Timmy couldn’t identify.

He moved away from the two of them wanting to give them a bit of space. Harry noticed the small boy, and in a few quick strands, he reached him.

Timmy immediately threw his arms around Harry, the latter doing the same, lifting the small boy off the ground.

“You did so good!” Timmy laughed, holding onto Harry’s broad shoulders for dear life, although he knew that the older boy wouldn’t drop him but still.

“Thank you, lovie.” Harry smiled wide, his dimples full-on show. He held the boy tighter in his arms, nuzzling his nose in Timmy’s hair. He glanced around quickly, wondering about his brother's whereabouts, his green eyes instantly landed on him, talking to the blonde haired girl.

“Who is she?” He mumbled not letting go of Timmy. Timmy quickly understanding who Harry was inferring to, replied to him.

“Saoirse, we just met her.”

“Saoirse, huh?” The older boy hummed, his gaze not leaving the talking pair. Timmy nodded, his curls ticking Harry’s chin and neck.

“It means freedom in Irish,” Harry mumbled, gripping tighter at Timmy’s waist but not hard enough to hurt him.

 

 

It was good two in the morning when the party had slowly starting to die down. There were still people dancing and having a good time with each other, but everything was getting slower. The bands had stopped playing upbeats songs, they had exchanged them with slow almost blues one's couples, and friends swayed to. Timmy was leaning against a wall enjoying the calming music. As much he loved the quick, loud, rock and pop songs along with their remixes, there was nothing he enjoyed more than an old fashioned ballad.

The twins had gone returned to their dorm about half an hour ago after they made Timmy promise he was going to take care of himself and not stay up too late. Timmy had rolled his eyes at their words but wasn’t able to stop smiling precisely because of the same reason. They could be a little bit overprotecting sometimes, but he knew it was because they cared too much about him.

The night was getting colder and colder. Timmy wasn’t a fan of the cold, he couldn’t stand it. His small body would always start to tremble the second wind blew in his direction. Yet he didn’t want to go to his dorm. He wanted to stay till the last student had disappeared into their room so he could walk around the quiet building, running his fingers on the walls, hearing and feeling its pulse weakening as everyone was slowly becoming enveloped in Morpheus welcoming arms.

Timmy pulled the jean jacket he had worn over his clothes closer to his body. It was the jacket he had taken from Armie’s place back in Italy on their night together. Timmy had worn it so many times desperately wanting Armie’s scent all over him to the point where the smell of Armie’s body was slowly starting to fade from the fabric. Something which reminded him that he needed to go get himself a new bottle of parfum since it was emptying. He made a mental note about it even though he would most probably end up completely forgetting about it.

The music stopped making him look towards the makeshift stage, finding the musicians carefully putting away their instruments and walk off the stage. The last few people dancing had now stopped and either made their way inside the building or out of it intending to continue their celebration or going to one of the twenty-four-hour bistrots to grab a bite of food.

He breathed in the cold air of the night and pushed his back off the wall, starting to walk inside. He would put on a sweater and leave again to pursue his wish of walking around the emptying university.

Before he could step inside, a voice stopped him.

“That was my favourite song.” Armie’s deep voice said. Timmy took a deep breath and shut his eyes for a few seconds, feeling his insides warm up at the sound of the man’s voice.

“It was?” He said softly, turning to face the tall man. He hadn’t seen him the past few days, he had avoided walking around when he knew too many people would be heading out, wanting to make up his mind before he saw him again, fearing that the sight of him would further confuse him, leading him to the wrong decision.

Armie nodded.

“It reminds me of us.” Timmy’s heart started to pick up the pace inside the bony cage of his chest.

“How so?” He asked softly.

Armie walked closer to him.

“Because we were strangers in the night, we met while you were wandering around needing to forget your pain. We were just two lonely people, but after that even though we’ve been apart for so long, our hearts and minds didn’t allow us to forget each other and although we can’t admit it yet, we are going to be right together. We are going to be good. There is something between us. Whatever is happening with us isn’t just a coincident. You coming to me that night, living in the same city without knowing it, going to the same university without knowing it, me finding you again due to our mutual friend, the universe did a marvellous job Timothée.” Timmy let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in the first place. Alexander’s words came back in his mind, and he suddenly understood what he had meant.

“I agree. But what happened between us, the timeline I mean was wrong.” He said, looking up at Armie.

“Then let’s make it right,” Armie said without missing a bit.

“I don’t want to be used again and then thrown away like a rag doll,” Timmy said, his green eyes were sparkling under the moonlight. Armie though he was the prettiest thing, had ever laid his eyes upon.

“You won’t, I can promise that I won’t hurt you.”

“You can’t promise that.” Timmy fired back. Armie sighed and nodded slowly but didn’t give up.

“I can try. I’m willing to give us a chance and do whatever I never did for anyone else.” He said carefully cupping Timmy’s face in his large warm hands. Timmy felt the warmth spreading all over him, and attempted to keep himself for nuzzling in Armie’s touch.

Somehow he found himself gazing into Armie’s eyes. He saw sincerity in them as well as hope, something Timmy had lost a long time ago. He thought that maybe this was his chance of finding it again.

“What are you asking for?” He whispered, his eyes not leaving Armie’s.

“A chance. Just one chance and if I fuck up, you can send me to hell. I will never bother you again. Just give it to me, allow me to prove myself to you.” He leaned his forehead on Timmy’s and closed his eyes, too scared to see the rejection in them.

Timmy placed his hands over Armie’s which were still cradling his face lovingly and breathed out in a gentle whisper.

“You’ve got it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all? Thank you so so much for the sweet comments, you guys know how much I appreciate them and I love to hear your thoughts on whatever is happening. This chapter is another favourite of mine, I love it so much and I'm quite proud of how it turned out and I really hope you'll like it as much as I do!  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you you think, if you liked it or if I should change something, what you expect to happen in the future chapters, anything!  
> Thank you all so much for reading.  
> I appreciate and love you all so much!  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Have a lovely weekend!  
> Bisous x

“Where are you off to so early?” Timmy whipped around coming face to face with a very sleepy looking Armie. His golden hair was a mess on top of his head, his eyes were half closed with sleep. He was shirtless wearing just a pair of joggers which rested low on his hips. He was holding a steaming cup of coffee in his hand, which he carefully switched from one hand to another, the hot beverage burning his skin.

“Good morning,” Timmy greeted, looking dumbly at Armie. Armie smiled sleepily, making Timmy’s heart clench at the sight. His heart whispering to him how lovely if it would be if he got to see Armie’s sleepy smile every morning, his mind silently agreed.

“Good morning,” Armie greeted back, lifting one of his hands up to his face, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes. Timmy’s eyes resting on the muscles of his arms moving. He blinked a couple of times looking away from Armie’s arms.

“I’m heading out for a few, I-I run out of something.” Timmy stuttered before clearing his throat and straightening his back.

Why the hell am I stuttering? He asked himself.

Armie perked up at Timmy’s mention of going out, blue eyes looking more awake than they did a few seconds ago. He picked up the courage to ask the smaller boy if he could join him.

“Can I come with you? We can go for breakfast after and then continue however you like.” Timmy chewed on his lower lip looking at Armie. If they left together now, that would only mean they would get to spend more time together, and Timmy wasn’t entirely sure how he was feeling about it. The more time they spend together though, the better they would get to know each other, and it would be possibly easier for Armie to gain Timmy’s trust and for Timmy to feel comfortable around him.

Timmy nodded slowly, raising his gaze up to stare at Armie’s blue eyes.

“I think I would like that.” He said with a soft smile.

Armie looked taken aback not actually believing the words which have left the boys lips. He was stunned. And happy oh beyond happy, he almost wanted to cry from happiness. He chuckled happily, shaking his head at himself.

He gave Timmy a wide smile causing Timmy’s heart to sing some dumb love song about smiles.

“Alright, I’m just gonna change really quick, and I’ll meet you at the entrance? How does that sound?” Armie asked fumbling to get his key off his pocket, to unlock the door of his dorm.

“Alright.” Timmy nodded, watching as Armie stumbled inside his dorm.

Timmy took a deep breath through his nose, attempting to calm himself down and made his way down the stairs. The hallways weren’t too crowded, only a few students who had woken up early were heading over to the dining area to get some coffee while some others were heading outside for the same reason.

He sat down on the stairs placing his hands delicately on his lap as he waited for the older boy to join him.

He felt uneasy, his nerves ready to take over the best of him and send him into a panic attack something which he found happening the past few days very easily.

His legs itched to run to the twin’s dorm and hide in their arms. Ask them what they thought of this whole situation even though he knew he had their blessings, and they trusted Armie, which was something he found bizarre, not because they didn’t like people, they did, and they had friends, Harry more than Alex, but because it seemed like they knew something more than Timmy. And although it seemed to make sense considering they knew him longer than he did, something was unsettling about the whole situation.

He heard footsteps coming close to him, and he shut his eyes, holding his breath, preparing himself to hear Armie’s low voice.

“’ Ello, love.” His ears instantly recognised the low British accent as Harry’s. His mind felt at ease once more, all of his anxiety instantly vanishing.

The older boy sat down next to Timmy. His attire was, simple, with just a hoodie and a pair of running shorts a big contrast to what he was wearing last night.

“Going for a run?” Timmy smiled, looking at his friend. Harry nodded, sighing tiredly.

“Yes, Alex is waiting for me near Île de la Cité .” He laid his head on Timmy’s shoulder. The smaller boy smiled softly and hummed, pressing a kiss on Harry’s curly head.

“I might come by your dorm later.”

“You should, we can watch a movie if you’d like or just hang out.”

“A movie sounds nice.” Harry smiled nodding in agreement.

“Where are you heading out this early?” Harry pulled away, looking at the small boy, suspiciously. Timmy blushed under Harry’s scrutinising eyes.

“I’m going out with Armie,” Timmy replied, lowering his gaze, his cheeks burning red from the embarrassment. Harry whistled before his face broke out in a huge smile, green doe-like eyes shining.

“That’s great, love! Have fun.” He smiled, pressing a kiss on Timmy’s temple. Timmy smiled softly and looked back down at his hands, bringing his lower lip between his teeth, thick eyebrows furrowing together. Harry looked at the smaller boy and placed his much larger paw on top of Timmy’s. As if he sensed Timmy’s uncertainty, Harry spoke up.

“You’re not making a mistake, love. You shouldn’t be so scared, I know, it sounds hard especially after everything that happened but remember. Everyone deserves a second chance. Try it out with Armie, he is a good guy.” Timmy looked at Harry, his hazel eyes still unsure.

“What if he hurts me?” He whispered holding the boy’s hand tighter.

“He won’t hurt you. But if he does or if something goes wrong you’ll know that you at least you tried. I know that deep inside, your heart wants you to be with him, and your mind screams at you that you should plant yourself down like a tree and not move. However, you should follow your heart and take the risk. Because you want him and he wants you. And, when you want something, you should accept whatever it comes with it until you finally get where you want to be. Just like if you wish for spring, you should accept the winter, the cold and the snow that it comes with the wait. Because even the snow and the cold can bring you beautiful memories. Your fear, your will to take things slow till you trust him entirely will only benefit you because will get to know each other, you won’t have to take off your clothes to stand naked in front of each other.” Timmy hid himself in Harry’s arms, clenching Harry’s hoodie in his fists.

He closed his eyes, breathing in Harry’s scent. Harry was right, every word that left the older boys lips was precisely what he needed to hear to feel the so reassurance he wanted. Harry felt Timmy going pliant in his warm embrace.

Timmy nodded softly, agreeing with Harry.

“You are right, I suppose.” Harry let out a soft chuckling pushing a few curls away from the boy's eyes.

“I know, love. Now, I’m gonna find my brother, and you should let go of your inhibitions and set yourself free. Allow yourself to feel someone else’s love.” He said, pulling away from the boy and stood up on his feet, looking down at Timmy. His soft unruly curls falling over his eyes.

“I will Haz. Thank you, you have no idea how much I appreciate your words.” Timmy said softly, making Harry smile.

“Tell Armie I say hi okay? And have fun, love. Don’t overthink too much it will kill your happiness.” The green-eyed man smiled at the smaller boy as he walked away, his figure disappearing behind the doors.

Timmy closed his eyes, allowing himself to relax a bit more. Preparing himself for Armie’s arrival, trying to let himself get rid of the anxiety and his fears genuinely wanting to give in to Armie and just be happy for once in his life without anything else on his mind, without the fear of something happening.

“I didn’t take too long, did I?” He heard Armie before he saw him. The boy stood up from his place on the stairs and turned to face the older boy.

He looked at Armie who was now dressed in a casual attire containing a pair of jeans and a sweater. A jacket was also hanging from his arm.

“Won’t you get cold like this?” Timmy asked softly, looking at the taller boy. Armie shook his head, smiling softly at Timmy. He liked the little bit of the caring side the boy was showing. He could definitely get used to it.

“No, I don’t get cold easily. Shall we?” He asked, moving closer to the boy. Timmy nodded softly and reached out, running his fingers carefully through Armie's messy hair, fixing them a bit. The older boy held his breath as he watched the smaller boy gently fixed his dishevelled hair.

Armie was sure that if he were a cat, he would be purring and preening from the gentle touch he was receiving. He couldn’t believe that Timmy had actually dared to touch him. Even as innocently as this.

Timmy smiled up at him softly and nodded, taking his hand back and cradled it close to his chest.

“We shall.”

The two of them walked out of the university, standing close to each other.

“Where are we heading to?” The older boy asked as they walked through the Parisian streets watching as small bakeries and coffee shops were opening to welcome their customers. Timmy deeply enjoyed watching as the owners set the little tables outside of their café. Some of them draping the traditional red and white checkered table cloth while some others used more fancy ones.

“We're going to Rue St. Honoré.” Armie hummed. He knew that street very well. It was one of the fanciest streets in Paris, every designer brand store was located there as well as the Élysée Palace.

“Nice, what are we getting?” He asked as they walked across the Pont Du Louvre. Timmy wasn’t quite sure if he like the whole ‘we’ business, but he didn’t say anything since technically they were going together.

“A parfum, Tobacco Vanille.” He answered, delicately tucking a curl behind his ear. Armie smiled and nodded as he remembered the fainting scent of it on his bed sheets.

Armie couldn’t wait till they get to the store so he would be able to smell it again, on the pretty boy and maybe if things worked out nicely between them, he would get to smell it on his body and clothes, possibly on his bedsheets too.

“Nice.” He mumbled softly.

As they walked their hands gently brushed each other making Timmy blush and look down at his boot-clad feet while Armie bit his lip wishing he was allowed to hold the boy’s hand.

About ten minutes later they were walking in the store, getting greeted by the warm air and the smell of expensive clothing.

Armie suddenly felt as if he was back in New York and he didn’t know if he liked the feeling or not. Sure, expensive clothes and luxuries were lovely, and he was a big fan of fancy clothes and fabrics which felt soft against his skin, but some of the things the lifestyle they came with were definitely not his cup of tea.

A fond smile appeared on his lips as he stared at the smaller boy conversing with one of the salesladies, the French accent effortlessly rolling off his tongue, making a fire ignite deep inside Armie. He loved how Timmy’s whole appearance changed when he spoke French, his face and voice softened, and every word fell off his lips perfectly pronounced, and even his hands moved in a different manner, far more elegant and sure.

Suddenly Timmy was turning to him, green eyes searching for him inside the shop till they landed on him. He beckoned Armie over with a move of his hand and a very soft and delicate,

“Viens ici s'il te plait.”

Armie’s legs moved as if they had a mind of their own, quickly carrying him where the smaller boy stood, with both of his delicate wrists exposed. They were so thin, Armie was sure he could hold them above Timmy’s head with just one hand.

He took a deep breath through his nose, nostrils flaring as he inhaled trying to keep his cool even though he could already feel his cock stirring awake inside his pants.

“Tell me.” He said after clearing his throat not wanting his voice to sound high pitched or probably huskier to his arousal.

“Which one do you like more?” Timmy mumbled softly as he extended his wrists towards Armie. Armie gently gripped Timmy’s right wrist first and inhaled the sweet aroma of his skin as well as the perfume he was wearing. A mix of vanilla and tobacco along with notes of something spicy which made Armie want to bury his nose in the boy’s skin and smell the scent forever. And yes, now he clearly remembered the scent. He remembered it tickling his nose the morning after as he held the sheets up to his nose and tugged at his cock thinking about the smaller boy beneath him.

“This one,” Armie said, his voice came out huskier than he expected. Timmy looked at him stunned.

“Don’t you want to smell the other?” He said softly as he swallowed, watching as Armie closed his strong fingers around his little wrist, making him feel tiny. He swallowed as his eyes met Armie’s.

The older boy shook his head, letting go of his left wrist.

“You’re getting the other one,” Timmy nodded slowly, he didn’t know where Armie’s sudden demanding character came from, but he couldn’t help but found it arousing. And he liked the parfum anyway, it was the one he usually got.

He licked his lips, getting them wet and answer with a soft okay.

The saleslady watched their little encounter with a smile thinking that the two of them were a couple and took the boxed parfum Timmy wanted and moved to the till. Timmy trailing behind Armie who followed her with quick steps already getting his wallet out.

“Please don’t do this.” He said looking up at the taller man, he couldn’t accept such an act from Armie.

“Let me,” Armie said eyes softening as he saw Timmy starting to shy away from his intense stare.

“It’s too much Armie, I couldn’t ask that from you,” Timmy said softly taking his own wallet out, but Armie shook his head again, already giving his card.

“You can pay for our breakfast.”

“But it will not be nearly as much as this!” Timmy went to argue, but Armie’s stare hardened making the boy quieten down blushing, a small fine leaving his lips.

“Monsuier-“

“Adler.” Armie finished for the woman behind the desk. Her eyes were wide as she stared at Armie up and down, not believing her own eyes. Timmy looked at them confused on why Armie had tensed all of sudden, his shoulders were raised, his chin was higher, and his jaw set tense.

The lady nodded slowly, not daring to argue with the powerful man in front of her, it wouldn’t end up nicely if she pissed off Armie Hammer, she could get fired. Instead, she gave Armie the small bag containing Timmy’s parfum along with his card and the receipt which Armie quickly put in the pocket of his jeans before taking time his time to tuck his card inside his designer wallet and then tuck the wallet in his pants.

He then handed the bag to the smaller boy who was in loss of words on how quickly Armie’s demeanour had changed from soft and sweet to demanding to tense.

“Thank you so much, Armie,” Timmy said, not quite knowing what else to say.

“You’re welcome, baby.” The word left his lips quicker than his mind could process, leaving both boys staring at each other out of breath.

Timmy felt his mouth going dry at the term of endearment and wanted to hate himself for thinking about how nice it sounded coming off Armie's lips.

Armie opened his mouth to apologise something he found himself doing very often the past few days, but Timmy spoke up before Armie could.

“It’s okay.” He said taking a deep breath before continuing. “I liked it.” He breathed out looking up at the taller boy.

Armie swore he had died and gone to heaven. He couldn’t believe the words which Timmy had spoken to him. He was filled with hope that the two of them would get through every obstacle that would get in their way, be it their differences, Timmy’s insecurities and fears, they could fight them all together and end up being happy.

He smiled wide at Timmy, bright blue eyes full of happiness making Timmy’s heart skip a bit. He felt proud to be the one who had caused Armie to smile so big.

The two walked outside, after bidding goodbye the salesladies, Armie holding the door for Timmy to step outside first. The smaller boy smiling up at Armie as a thank you, which meant much more to Armie than the two words would indicate.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, both of them lost inside their own thoughts. Armie was utterly lost in a bubble of happiness and hope while Timmy was ready to start overthinking about the whole situation again.

“Where would you like to go for breakfast?” Armie thankfully interrupted Timmy’s thoughts.

“We could go at a boulangerie if you’d like. Have a cup of coffee and eat something, I’m not a big fan of breakfast.” Timmy answered. Armie nodded liking Timmy’s idea.

“Sounds nice, I know a boulangerie a few blocks from here, they make the best croissants.” He said looking down at the smaller boy, with a smile.

“Croissants sound lovely.” Timmy returned Armie’s smile.

True to his words, Armie took Timmy to the small boulangerie. The two had coffee, and they shared freshly baked sweets while exchanging a little bit of information about their lives. After they finished breakfast the two walked back to the other side of Paris, towards their university, Timmy claiming he wanted to leave the bag at his dorm not wanting to continue the rest of their day together holding onto an expensive thing. Armie agreed, quickly understanding that it was pointless trying to change Timmy’s mind.

They then decided to visit the Louvre. Armie was confused at how they would get in since they didn’t have tickets and the queue was way too long. Timmy, on the other hand, seemed to be very confident and assured Armie that he would get them in.

Which of course he did, little French minx owned a membership card, and he even managed to avoid all of the lines by getting them inside through the Porte Des Lions, leaving Armie to stare at him with an open mouth bolstering the boy’s confidence.

Armie liked this side of Timmy, he loved how comfortable he looked as he moved around the place, clearly knowing his way around. He looked different. He was glowing with happiness and pride. Confidence was such a pretty look on him.

“I can’t believe you sneaked us inside like this,” Armie said looking at the smaller boy walking by his side, the smile never leaving his cherry lips.

“I didn’t sneak us in, I just know how to avoid the huge lines to get inside. And except from that, I can come in for free anytime I want since I study art, I’m required to come here and make sketches of the exhibits, they give us passes from the university, ” Timmy’s smile widened, and a soft giggle left his lips.

Armie felt himself getting dizzy from the happiness the boy was radiating. He couldn’t get enough of it. The boy looked like he truly belonged in the museum, he wished someone would put him between the collection of art pieces, he deserved to be one of them. Though he didn’t know how he would feel if he saw other people stop to stare at Timmy and take pictures of him. No, he would definitely not, like that. At all.

“You okay?” The boy stopped walking and turned around towards Armie who had stopped walking, too busy admiring and thinking the possibilities of the beautiful being an actual art piece.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. Sorry, I just got caught up in my own thoughts.” Armie answered. Timmy strolled back towards him looking concerned.

“Good thoughts or bad thoughts?” He looked up at Armie with big green eyes which shone under the museum lights. Armie swore the boy had stars in his crystalline green eyes. They were so beautiful, so bright, innocent and kind. They took Armie’s breath away.

He wished Van Gogh was still alive so he could paint Timmy’s eyes.

It would be a beautiful painting of the boy, he would have Van Gogh paint Timmy’s beautiful face and focus on the boy’s galaxy eyes. They would be a light green colour with swirls of yellow and blue inside them, resembling his Starry Night. Armie would favour this painting over Starry Night though.

He would call it Starry Eyes and he would hang it on his dorm and later on in his house, his office, everywhere he went so he could see the boy’s unique eyes.

“You’ve got stars in your eyes.” Armie breathed out without even thinking about it twice. Timmy’s breath hitched in his throat at Armie’s words.

He didn’t know how to act, or what he was supposed to say. Should he say thank you to Armie or comment something nice about him? He really didn’t know.

Armie suddenly extended his arm, his large hand cupped Timmy’s face, bringing it closer to his which made Timmy suddenly feel anxious. The older of the two gently caressed with the pad of his thumb the outer corner of Timmy’s eyes before slowly dragging it lower, towards his sharp cheekbone and then his soft lips which Armie longed to feel again against his.

Timmy breathed shakily, looking into Armie’s bright blue eyes. They had the colour of the deep blue sea and Timmy couldn’t help himself but get lost in their beauty. He had never seen eyes so blue before. His eyes moved from Armie’s eyes to his soft lips.

Timmy suddenly felt the need to feel Armie’s lips on his. He wanted to feel their softness and remember how they were pressed against his on their first night together which ended up so tragically with Timmy wiping every inch of his body to get rid of Armie’s lips.

He wanted it now. Or maybe it was just their closeness and Armie’s kind act from before. A need to say thank you again in any way he could. His small hands started trembling at his sides, he was torn once more between his heart and mind, all the confidence he was feeling minutes ago had vanished into thin air leaving Timmy a shy mess not knowing what he was supposed to do. Which was something he deeply hated. He didn’t like feeling embarrassed or shy before someone. He wanted to be strong and take what he wanted without second thoughts.

“Shall we continue?” He breathed out shakily, pulling away from Armie, trying to regain his confidence.

As much as Armie wanted to say something, convince Timmy that it was okay to make a move he just nodded following the smaller boy.

“So, what’s your favourite exhibit in here?” Timmy asked.

“I think it’s the Winged Victory of Samothrace. I mean c’mon, her Hellenistic form is so spectacular. You can see how the wind blows her dress, and I find it so mindblowing how someone could actually depict that on marble. I always adored sculptures that don’t look like sculptures, you know what I mean?” Armie looked at the smaller boy next to him who had suddenly gained back his soft smile as he stared up at Armie, listening to his poor, but heartfelt, explanation on art.

“I know,”

The two of them spent countless hours in the museum walking around and talking about art exhibitions. Timmy occasionally shared with Armie little information he knew about the origins of either a sculpture or behind a painting which left Armie fascinated about how many things the boy knew. He loved how Timmy explained things so simply without complicating them and smiled whenever Armie asked him something, he saw that it made Timmy beam with pride. It wasn’t in an arrogant way thought like he had seen people in the past talking about something they knew, it was a soft way like he was actually happy to know what he knew and share his knowledge with him.

When they reached Delacroix’s Liberty Leading The People, Armie had some very interesting conspiracies to say about it which made Timmy uncontrollable giggle while the older boy talked.

“I read somewhere that the two towers of Notre-Dame which are in flames symbolise the Twin Towers,” Armie said making Timmy laugh out loud earning some weird looks from the visitors around them.

“I highly doubt that Delacroix knew the government’s plans about them in 1830,” Timmy answered through his giggles and leaned closer to Armie, their arms almost touching.

“Why not? He might have predicted it and then went ahead and made the painting as some sort of secret message to the people to let them know what was coming!” Armie argued. Timmy laughed louder, causing butterflies to erupt in Armie’s stomach as he rested his eyes upon Timmy’s beautiful face. The corners of his eyes were wrinkling on the sides, his smile was wide, face glowing with happiness

“I’m pretty sure that was not the case. Though in 2013 when Louvre had loaned the painting to Louvre-Lens which is an extension of the museum in Northern France, a woman wrote ‘AE911’ on the bottom of the canvas because of the Twin Tower conspiracy.” He said as he slowly calmed down, taking deep breaths through his nose trying to stop himself from laughing all over again.

“Really?” Armie asked surprised, the fond smile not leaving his face.

“Really,” Timmy replied, smiling softly.

Armie tore away his eyes from Timmy’s smile, feeling weak at the knees. He didn’t want his knees to give out because of the boy’s smile and find himself on the floor, making a fool of himself in front of everyone, in front of Timmy.

“Shall we go see our good friend Mona Lisa?” He asked, returning his gaze back to Timmy. The smaller boy nodded, his lips twitching up in a smile.

“Do you have a conspiracy for that or shall I say a few that I know?” Armie chuckled at Timmy’s words.

“Be my guest.” Timmy laughed as they made their way towards the place where the painting was hanged.

“Some people believe that it’s not the original painting this one but like a copy of it and the real one is somewhere in the basements of the Louvre.” Timmy nodded in agreement.

“Yes, I’ve heard of this, and I lowkey believe it. What I know for a fact is that they can’t insure the paintings or the statues because their worth is allegedly priceless. If I were the owner I wouldn’t actually display the original painting because let’s face it, it’s quite a bit of a risk, it could get stolen. But except from that, I kind of believe about Mona Lisa not being the original painting because back in 1911 the painting was stolen by Vincenzo Peruggia. He was hired to help to build the security case.” Armie shook his head with a smirk.

“What a cruel irony.” Timmy quickly agreed chuckling.

“He kept the painting for three years, and I’ve heard that since then, the Louvre has never actually tested if it’s the real painting or not.” Armie’s eyes widened looking at Timmy.

“Can you imagine if it’s actually true and the painting is actually a fake.”

“It would be a huge scandal.”

The two stood in front of the now yellowish hued painting. Timmy had seen Mona Lisa about a million times. The first time he had seen it he was around six or maybe seven he couldn’t precisely remember. He wasn’t a big fan of the painting. Though he was fascinated by the assumptions behind it and Da Vinci’s genius mind.

“Da Vinci was a genius. He put tiny letters in her eyes, which might be a secret message to something still unknown to us. In her right eye appears to be his initials LV while in her left there’s a series of numbers. Both the letters and the numbers can only be seen by magnifying high-resolution images of the painting.” Timmy mumbled as he looked at the painting for the millionth time in his life.

“So did Da Vinci foresee the development of magnification technology?” Armie asked making Timmy snort and look at him.

“What’s with you and making assumptions about people being psychics. First Delacroix and now Da Vinci? Who else is next? Gauguin?” He said rolling his eyes playfully. After spending so many hours with the older boy he felt more comfortable around him, he could freely joke around with him and laugh and although he still felt a bit of shyness, he was confident that it would go away soon.

“No, silly! Michelangelo!” Armie replied with a beaming smile making Timmy roll his eyes again but smile nonetheless.

“What’s weird about this whole thing is that Da Vinci took the painting everywhere with him in his later life.” Timmy tilted his head to the side and brought his lower lip between his teeth studying the painting.

“Maybe what they say about the painting having a secret message behind it is actually true, and that’s why he took it everywhere with him. Because he wanted to keep it safe.” Armie mumbled stepping closer to the painting.

“There’s a belief that Mona Lisa is his mother, so maybe he was protective of her final image, and he wanted to keep the painting with him as a reminder of her if that makes any sense.” The smaller boy spoke softly. Armie’s shoulders tensed but relaxed after a second.

“That’s possible too. Maybe he loved his mother so much that he wanted to have the image of her with him all the time.” He mumbled, his voice had lowered, and Timmy swore he could hear a hint of sadness in the older boy’s tone.

Timmy just nodded sensing that whatever had crossed Armie’s mind was too sensitive and he probably wouldn’t want to discuss it with him,

They both remained silent for a few minutes just staring at the painting attempting to figure out the riddle the picture contained. That was until Timmy spoke up again.

“You want to race through the Louvre?” Armie looked at him first surprised and then curious to know what the boy meant.

“Like they had done in The Dreamers?” Timmy nodded with a smile breaking through his delicate features.

“Technically it’s a reference from the 1964 French film Bande à part, but yes. That’s exactly what I mean.” He extended his hand towards Armie. “Shall we?” He asked looking up at the blue-eyed boy.

“Will you be able to keep up with my pace? I’m quite a fast runner.” Timmy nodded, being sure of his abilities due to the times he had gone to morning runs through London with Alexander who ran faster than the average human.

Timmy extended a small hand towards Armie, the latter looking at the smaller boy for a few seconds before taking Timmy’s much smaller hand in his. Armie started feeling alive from the little touch, he felt like his world had started spinning again. He looked down at their intertwined hands. Timmy’s tiny hand was entirely engulfed by Armie’s much bigger one making Timmy’s tummy clench at their size difference once more.

“I’m pretty sure I can,” Timmy replied, feeling warmth crawling all the way to his neck and face and then onto the rest of his body due to their innocent touch. It’s like Armie’s touch had melted the ice he was surrounded with.

Armie smiled, tightening his grip on the boy's hand, making the fire Timmy was feeling intensify and take over his senses.

“Shall we start?” The blue-eyed man asked. The smaller of the two took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

The two took off running, their hands joined together, not pulling away for a single moment. They passed from tourists who looked at them as if they were some kind of exciting exhibit or some sort of lab rats.

Armie was a fast runner indeed, thankfully Timmy could keep up with him due to his long legs and little frame which allowed him to move fast. Loud laughs escaped their lips as they ran across the Louvre, their smiles never leaving their faces.

Timmy was about to burst from the happiness he was feeling, while Armie felt more free than he had in years. Nothing else in the world mattered except from the two of them. He couldn’t feel the many eyes of the visitors on them. He only felt adrenaline and warmth from their tangled fingers.

When they reached the entrance they had came in from Armie lifted the smaller boy up in his arms and spun him around, hiding his face in the boy's neck as he laughed. Timmy wrapped his legs around Armie’s waist, holding the older boy tightly with his head thrown back laughing as well.

When their laughter slowly died down, the smaller boy lowered his gaze to meet Armie’s. They were both out of breath just holding each other gazes, their chests were rising and falling quickly trying to regain their breathing, their smiles never faltering.  For several seconds the two stood there holding onto each other, forgetting about the rest of the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang out with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour, everything related to the fic is under the tag #wat


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! Thank you so so much for the kudos and the amazing comments on the last chapter, I'm so happy you liked it as much as I did, because it honestly was one of my favourite chapters so far.  
> Now this one isn't my best, but some things needed to be cleared up and some answers needed to be given and I promise there are many more to come, I'm sure you all have questions and are confused about what is going on and sadly some of the answers will come much much later but some of them will come in two, maybe three chapters?  
> Leave a comment down below telling me your thoughts on this chapter, if you loved it, if you didn't like it, all comments and kudos are appreciated, my darlings!  
> Thank you so much for reading, I love you and I appreciate every single one of you guys!  
> Alright you guys I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Bisous x

It was late into the night when they returned, near midnight. Armie and Timmy had dinner earlier on a beautiful Bistrot which Timmy fell in love with the moment they stepped in. Of course, the older boy paid despite Timothée’s complaints about it not being fair.

The two had parted for the night with the promise to meet up again tomorrow for a walk in the beautiful Jardins Du Luxembourg.

The young boy was currently lying on Alexander’s bed in the twin's dorm. His head was resting on Alexander’s strong chest, Harry was lying with his head on Timmy’s tummy. Two blankets were thrown over their bodies, keeping them warm even though the twin’s bodies radiated more than enough warmth. The was soft music was playing from Harry’s speakers, an old song which Timmy thoroughly enjoyed, Harry’s taste in music was excellent, and it was no surprise that the music he made was just as great.

Alexander’s fingers were gently and slowly running through Timmy’s silky curls in time with the slow beat of the music, the smaller boy hummed from time to time in appreciation. One of Timmy’s arms was circled around Harry, gently stroking his back while the man left gentle kisses on the exposed skin of Timmy’s tummy.

 Although they were all cramped together since the bed was too small to fit them all three, they somehow managed to make themselves comfortable.

“You should have kissed him,” Harry said softly, his eyes were closed, enjoying the husky voice of Lionel Richie singing in the background along with Willie Nelson.

Alex disagreed with his twin letting out a soft no.

“S’too soon Haz. Timmy is just getting comfortable around Armie, that would only rush things and give him anxiety whether he did the right thing or not.” Timmy smiled softly at the older boy’s words nuzzling closer to his chest, leaving a soft kiss on the warm skin.

“I wanted to kiss him at some point, but I figured it was in the heat of the moment. And Alex is right, it would spoil everything.” Alex smiled softly down at Timmy.

“Let your feelings for him grow, love. If it goes well and you end up trusting him sooner than you think, don’t let go of him thinking that it’s too soon, you might lose your chance forever if you let go. We live on borrowed time.” He mumbled softly pressing a kiss on top of Timmy’s head and held him tighter, shutting his eyes. Timmy nodded softly understanding where Alex was coming from and watched as Harry reached up and placed his hand on top of one of his twin’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

 Timmy looked at their little exchange silently before speaking up.

“Whenever we talk about love, you look more vulnerable, and your eyes turn sad, extremely sad, why is that?” Timmy asked gently wanting to know but also not wanting to press the older boy into revealing why he was like this.

Harry looked up at his brother waiting to see what the boy’s answer would be even though he already knew by first hand the truth.

Alex pursed his lips and stared at Timmy for a few seconds stroking the boy's cheek in the softest way possible.

“When I was 17, a few months before you came into our lives, I met a girl, and I loved her a lot, but I never got the chance to tell her. But I guess some things aren’t meant to be,” He swallowed the bile which had formed in his throat and buried his nose in Timmy’s curls, inhaling the calming scent of roses.

Timmy felt his heart breaking for the older boy. He remembered how uptight Alex was when they had first met and now that he found the reason he couldn’t believe it was because the boy had been hurt by his love before he could do anything. He regretted asking what had happened because the man looked miserable as if everything was coming back to his mind.

Timmy understood how it felt to have every bad memory come back to you, tearing your wounds open again and sinking in your skin slowly eating you alive from the inside.

He wrapped his arms around the man as tight as he could trying to put his broken pieces together with his embrace.

“I shouldn’t have asked, I’m sorry.” Timmy’s tone was soft as he held Alex tighter, attempting to hide them from the world.

“It’s okay, petal. You would find out sooner or later.” He closed his heterochromatic eyes slowly relaxing in the tight grip Timmy held him in. Alex couldn’t describe the safety he felt when he was inside the arms of the person he loved more than he loved himself, it was beyond words, beyond anything.

Timmy held him tighter than before, feeling the need to not only keep the gentle man in his arms safe but also give him all the love he had been denied since his early childhood.

 At times he felt as if their positions changed, and he became the protector, and the rock Alexander needed to steady himself from the storms raging inside his intricate mind. These moments were precious to Timmy.

It was incredibly rare seeing Alexander seeking out for warmth and safety, since he liked to be the one providing protection to the people he loved and Timmy couldn’t help but enjoy every second he got to hold Alex in his arms making him feel loved. Because according to Timmy, that was precisely what Alex deserved. He deserved unconditional love and gentleness and good things because Alex was good even if people and Alexander himself failed to see it. So for Timmy to be able to give him the love he deserved, it felt as if he was completing his destiny, doing what he was always meant to do and he wanted to keep doing it till his last breath.

His only question was, was he capable of doing the same for Armie?

 

-

When Timmy he returned to his dorm in the morning wanting to shower and freshen up before meeting Armie, he was greeted by Troye who was waiting for him wide awake on his bed with his hands crossed on his chest. The blue-eyed boy lectured Timmy about being gone all day and night which only brought giggles to Timmy at Troye’s motherly concern and promised him that he would stay with Troye till he had to go meet Armie.

Timmy kept his word and stayed with him.

They talked for a while about a bunch of different things. But some reason Timmy couldn’t concentrate on Troye's words and found himself zoning out completely, while Troye carried on talking.

  Alex’s words haunted him, and he couldn’t stop thinking about them. He always knew that the man was sad and didn’t trust easily, but now that he knew the truth about what made Alex the way he was, he couldn’t move on from it. He remembered when he met the twins, Alex avoided him at all costs, he never sat close to Timmy or even looked at him.

Until one night, when Harry was out, Timmy had a nightmare. Alex had rushed to his side and cradled him in his arms as if Timmy was the most precious thing he had ever held in his hands. Alex had whispered to him soothing words and continued soothing him even after Timmy had stopped choking on his sobs. Timmy then softly told him what had happened to him as a silent plea of acceptance from the older boy. The man had looked at him in the softest way possible and had brought Timmy in his arms once more with a promise that he would never let anyone hurt him again.

“Are you even listening to what I’m saying?” Timmy looked at his dorm-mate through the mirror, eyes widening at Troye’s sudden raised voice.

“I’m sorry, no, I was thinking about something,” Timmy said, looking at himself in the mirror.

“Obviously,” Troye said, raising an eyebrow. “Was it the sexy American boy of yours or the dreamy twins?” The green-eyed boy snorted at Troye’s words.

“I’m pretty sure I said something, not someone.” He turned to Troye with a playful smile on his lips.

“Ohh, so you were thinking about how are going to get that _very_ specific _something_ ,” Troye said suggestively. Timmy rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Is your mind always there?” He questioned as he started gathering his things, putting his wallet in the pocket of his jeans and his phone in the pocket of his jean jacket.

“Not all of us are lucky enough to have a prince charming waiting for us at the door, and two identical handsome knights looking out for us, ” Troye pouted mockingly. Timmy looked at him as he popped a piece of strawberry gum in his mouth.

“I thought you and Haz had something going on.” He looked at his friend before looking at himself in the mirror. He heard Troye moving around on his bed, making a noise of disagreement followed by a long sigh.

“I wish, but I don’t think he likes me that way.” Timmy raised an eyebrow even though Troye couldn’t see him.

“You’ve known him for less than a week. I’m pretty sure you can’t have figured him out already. He and Alex are complicated, if you don’t learn how to read them, you won’t know what’s going on in their heads unless they are kind enough to explain it to you, which is very rare,”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that. They tend to pick their words very carefully, not wanting to give nothing away, it’s kind of frustrating,” Timmy agreed before taking a deep breath and moved towards the door.

“I’m going to meet Armie, I promise I’ll come back later.” Troye looked up at the green-eyed boy pointing a finger at him.

“You better. And you better tell me everything,” Timmy laughed and leaned down, pressing a kiss on Troye’s curly head.

“Promise!” He said as he grabbed his keys, opening the door and exited their dorm.

 

-

 

The day was beautiful and surprisingly warmer than most of the days. The sun was shining, allowing the boys to sit next to the Observatory Fountain, a paper cup of warm coffee was in their hands.

“How come you enrolled in arts? What made you so interested in it?” Armie asked, looking at the green-eyed boy.

Timmy looked at the cup between his hands, keeping them warm as the scent of coffee filled his nose. He chewed on his lower lip for a few seconds, thinking about how he was going to answer Armie.

“It’s a long story, actually.” He mumbled, raising his eyes up at the older boy. Armie nodded and took off his sunglasses, putting them inside the pocket of his jeans, focusing his gaze on the hazel-eyed boy.

“I’ve got time.” He said, smiling softly at the small boy. Timmy lowered his gaze once more, figuring out he could tell Armie. He breathed deeply through his nose, playing nervously with his fingers, a habit he had ever since he was a child.

“I always liked pretty things, I loved creating pretty sceneries in my head and pretending I lived there. When I was a child, I had to suppress my creativity, mainly because of my father. Every time he saw me drawing he would take my drawing and shred it into tiny little pieces and then threw them on my face and called me a faggot, I was like five at the time. I stopped drawing because of him, he was very harsh with me, and he was also very disappointed in me because I had fears like every other child and you know, I was pretty feminine looking even back then. He couldn’t accept it, he couldn’t accept that he had a ‘pretty’ son who liked art and soft things.” The small boy chuckled bitterly and took a sip from his coffee.

Armie couldn’t believe in his ears, but part of him wasn’t that surprised because he knew what strict parents meant. He pitied the boy.

“Please, do not pity me, I’m not saying these because I want you to feel bad for me. I’m not some kind of broken toy.” Timmy looked up at Armie, his stare was hard. Armie quickly shook his head.

“I’m not pitying you. I just feel for you. I know how it feels not to be accepted. Please, go on. I would very much like to know everything there is to know about you.” He reached out, placing his hand on top of Timmy’s. Timmy instantly felt sorry for snapping at Armie the way he had and looked down at their hands with a soft sigh.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like this.” He mumbled softly, looking up at the older boy apologetically.

“It’s okay baby, don’t apologise.” The older boy smiled softly at Timmy squeezing his hand gently to ensure him that everything was indeed okay. Timmy’s heart fluttered in his chest at the sweet term of endearment. He liked the way it rolled off Armie’s soft lips.

“My parents got a divorce when I turned ten. My father re-married right after. My mum did too after like two years, she married a woman, Emma. She was amazing, she loved my sister and me so much. She was kind and loved nature, arts too. She was this free-spirited person, almost like a hippie with her long dresses and long hair. Every weekend we would all go together to the Jardins Des Plantes. We spent countless hours there. Pauline and I would play while mum watched us and Emma drew whatever caught her eye. She was the reason I took up painting again. She taught me different techniques and allowed me to be myself, saying that it’s totally okay to be vulnerable and pretty and like pretty things,” Timmy smiled at the memories, Armie smiling along with him, watching his boy feeling safe in the love bubble inside his head.

“She sounds like an amazing person,” Armie said caressing the back of Timmy’s hand with his thumb. Timmy nodded softly, his green eyes darkened, and a sad look took over his features, his light aura dulling. Timmy looked like he had gotten smaller and Armie thought that the boy looked like a dying flower in the winter.

“She indeed was amazing.” He whispered and looked down.

Armie didn’t question Timmy, instead, let him take his time to calm down before he was able to speak again. Timmy was thankful for that and squeezed his hand.

“Our happiness didn’t last for long, it seems like it never does,” He chuckled bitterly rubbing his eye with his fist, before sighing and looking away from the ocean eyed man.

“Emma was in a plane crash when I was fifteen, returning from Vienna. My mum lost her mind after that, became unstable. Last time I saw her, she couldn’t remember who I was, it tore me apart, seeing my mother not recognising me or her surroundings, our home, nothing. Pauline, my older sister, who was studying in America, returned to France to take care of her, while I was sent away to live in England with my uncle. She thought it would be better this way, she didn’t want me to stay with them watching our mum drown more and more in an abyss she would never get out from,” Armie placed his cup down and moved closer to Timmy wrapping his arms around the smaller boy. He felt the boy stiffen, but after a few seconds, he melted into the olde man's arms and even moved to wrap his own arms around him, placing his head on the Armie’s chest.

Armie closed his eyes and laid his on top of Timmy’s holding the boy as close as he could.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through all these, baby.” He said in a gentle tone. He pictured Timmy being a fifteen-year-old boy, who had just lost the person who made him love art again, let him be whoever he wanted to be and his mother at the same time, the person who had brought him to life, seeing her slip away from reality little by little. He couldn’t imagine how much heartbreak he had gone through.

Armie thought about what he did at fifteen, and all he could find was going to fancy parties, wearing expensive clothing and being cruel to whoever disagreed with him. He breathed through his nose, slowly wishing he had never been the person he used to be. He thought about how different their lives had been, how Timmy had lost everything but managed to stand up on his feet again and be the fantastic person Armie met. Nothing about them was similar, not even the way the both changed and moved away chaos went after them.

Timmy moved closer to him, his nose nuzzling in Armie’s neck, breathing in the scent of his skin, he smelled of soap and a bit of expensive aftershave and skin. Although Armie’s scent and embrace were unfamiliar to Timmy, his heart whispered to him that he was okay, and what he was doing was right.

And Timmy honestly felt that he was doing the right thing for once.

He felt safe in Armie’s tight grip, his arms were like a vice around his little body, holding him protectively. He wondered if Armie would hold him like this while Timmy slept in Armie’s bed. He hoped so, he’d love to feel Armie’s hand around his body holding him in a tight grip almost afraid as if Timmy would vanish into thin air if he didn’t keep him as close as he could.

 It made Timmy feel important. Armie made him feel important.

He recalled yesterday’s events, how Armie listened to him when he talked about art, how he paid attention to every single word that left Timmy’s lips as if he was telling him secrets which had never been told before and Armie was the only lucky one who would get to hear them.

Timmy pulled back a bit to look at him, Armie’s grip loosened but he didn’t remove his arms from the boy’s body.

Timmy stared at him, at the man who had taken his body and used it as he pleased. The man who was friends with his closest friends, the closest family he had. The man who chased him and asked –begged- for a chance. The man who had captured Timmy’s heart in such a short amount of time even though Timmy couldn’t bring himself to admit it just yet.

He gently cupped Armie's cheek in his hand, his slight beard tickled the inside of it, and Timmy found himself loving it. Armie’s eyes widened at the small touch but immediately leaned into it, afraid Timmy would change his mind in a heartbeat and take it away from him.

He breathed softly, not being able to stop looking at the smaller boy. He loved his soft yet sharp features, he wanted to kiss his sharp jawline, the high cheekbones. He longed to kiss the boys lips, trace them with his thumb and watch the part in silent moans and little breathes as he slept in his arms. Armie simply adored how unique Timmy was and felt deeply hurt at how his own father wouldn’t accept it. He knew that the boy had grown out of it but he was sure that Timmy still felt insecure some days, he didn’t know how he knew it, he just did. And he hated it because he wasn’t able to do anything about it. At least not yet but once he got him, made him his, Armie would make sure Timmy would never feel insecure again.

“What I said is true.” He said. Timmy looked at him, confused, continuing to stroke his bearded cheek. Armie went on.

“I won’t hurt you. Ever.” He promised, his fingers tightening on Timmy’s soft hips. Timmy inhaled sharply at the slight pressure feeling tingles all over his body. He felt as if Armie’s touch awakened all of his senses.

“I know, you promised me you won’t, and you will keep your promise.” Armie nodded at Timmy’s words, bringing the boy even closer to him if that was possible, his heart racing inside his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Alexander's and Timmy's relationship? Would you like to see more of Troye?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Salut! How are you all my loves? Thank you so so much for the love you've been giving this fic, every comment and every kudos counts to me.  
> This chapter is a small one but I think it's very cute and it covers a lot of things.  
> Please leave me a comment down below telling me what you think or leave kudos, both of them mean the world to me.  
> Thank you so much for reading my story! I love you and I appreciate every single one of you.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next week!  
> Bisous x

Timmy let out a loud giggle when a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around his tiny waist. His back collided with a hard chest and a kiss was pressed on the back of his neck, a nose nuzzled in his hairline.

“I missed you all day,” Armie mumbled holding the boy closer to him, inhaling the scent of his body and the rose shampoo he used. Timmy sighed softly and closed his eyes, leaning back on the older man’s body.

“I missed you too.” He said softly placing his hands on top of Armie’s on his waist. They were in the middle of a busy hallway filled with students rushing to get to their dorms and away of their classes while some other were trying to get in their courses early for the evening classes, but somehow, they felt as if they were the only ones in this world. It seemed like had time had slowed down as their fingers lovingly laced together and their bodies pressed on each other looking as if they were one body.

Classes had started about two weeks ago, and while Timmy’s classes felt like they lasted a couple of minutes, Armie’s were demanding and hard, sucking all of his energy out of him. Some days the two weren’t able to spend too much time together, but when they had a bit of free time between classes, they somehow found each other even in the most crowded hallways. It somehow felt as if Armie was a magnet and Timmy was a tiny piece of metal which always found himself being pulled into Armie’s side.

When he had told Armie, the man had smiled, his cheeks had turned a light pink colour, and had softly said that he liked the sound of that.

“Can we spend the evening together?” Armie mumbled stroking the back of Timmy’s hand. Timmy’s heart fluttered inside his chest.

“Don’t you have to study?” He asked, already knowing the answer. He felt Armie nod behind him, his lips never leaving Timmy’s neck.

“I do, but I would very much like it if you were with me, we could study together. I can hold you in my arms and feel you next to me.” Timmy didn’t need to be further persuaded or persuaded at all for the matter. He carefully peeled Armie’s arms from around him and turned around to face him.

“You don’t have to try to persuade me, you know that I want to spend time with you. I just don’t wanna distract you.” The smaller boy placed his hands on Armie’s broad shoulders. Armie chuckled and shook his head.

“I don’t mind a little bit of distraction.” He pressed his lips on Timmy’s forehead, a smile breaking on his face the moment his lips touched Timmy’s soft skin.

“I’ll be the best distraction then, Mr Adler,” Timmy said with a smile, closing his eyes at the gentle kiss on his temple. Armie tensed for a mere second but quickly regained his posture before Timmy was able to notice the change in his mood.

He hated it. Hated the fact he couldn’t tell Timmy his real last name, even though he hated who he was. He had changed his last name to avoid every connection with his family. The only thing he was thankful for was that his mother never wanted the press to know anything about him and refused to allow him to give interviews to magazines and the paparazzi never went close to him, afraid of the consequences of going against the great Freya Hammer. If his life were on the papers or even online, it would have been so damn easy to anyone who had access to the internet, including Timmy and the twins to find who he trully was, considering he could have some pretty big headlines about himself. And if that happened, he was sure Timmy would immediately stop trusting him. He would have to fight all over again to gain Timmy’s trust, which still wasn’t wholly given to him, but they had made progress. Timmy was wary of him, even though he tried to act nonchalant, Armie knew that he wasn’t entirely comfortable with him. And Armie understood it, he honestly did. Armie himself wouldn’t find it easy to open up either if he had been through so much.

“I’m sure you will, baby.” Timmy beamed up at Armie and Armie knew he had succeeded at making his tension unperceived.

“We’ll have to pass from my dorm first so I can take a book, alright?” Armie looked down at him. Timmy nodded silently agreeing with him.

“Henry will be there, won’t he?” He asked softly, his long fingers toying with the tulip pendant hanging from the taller boy’s neck. Armie had claimed it as his own and wore it proudly.

“Yes, I think so. He didn’t say he would go anywhere when we parted after class, so I’m guessing he returned there.” Timmy hummed and looked up at his lover.

“Shall we meet in the library then? You guys might want to chat for a bit or something, and I don’t want to bother you.” Armie shook his head with a smile at Timmy’s word.

“No, need to, baby. And I’d love for you to meet him. He can be a bit of an ass sometimes, but he is a nice guy, we’ve known each other since we were kids.”

“Are you sure?” The smaller boy asked timidly. Armie nodded again and took his little hand in his.

“I’m sure. You’re not a bother, I promise you.” He reassured Timmy once more, and they made their way towards the dormitories hand in hand. As they walked the received some odd looks from the students around them, but they both continued their way unfazed. Timmy chewed on his lower lip, looking unsure about meeting Henry.

His breath suddenly got caught in his throat. His heart started beating faster in his chest and a soft smile formed on his lips. He gently stopped Armie, the taller guy looked down at him in confusion. Timmy hushed him before he could ask what’s wrong making Armie just follow the boy’s gaze.

Alexander was leaning with his back on the wall a few meters away from them, his arms were crossed on his chest as he stared down at Saoirse with a fond smile painted on his soft rosy lips. Timmy’s heart warmed up even more when the tall curly haired man gently reached out and brushed a piece of hair of the blonde haired girl away from her face making her look down shyly.

Timmy felt happy tears gathering in his eyes, his vision clouding. He quickly blinked them away and breathed out.

He felt warm and fuzzy inside, seeing the man being so gentle with someone who wasn’t him or Harry.

Alexander was finally going to get what he deserved. He was going to have a relationship with a sweet, beautiful girl who looked at him as if he was the world.

Timmy knew that she was sweet and kind because they were in the same class. They had bonded over arts, including literature and sculpting while having white tea which Saoirse loved and made sure to bring a warm cup for Timmy too, something he really appreciated in the early mornings. If she was this good to him who was only just her friend, he could only imagine how good she would be to Alexander, who was slowly becoming her lover.

Timmy leaned on Armie’s side tucking his head on the man’s chest and let his eyes linger on the adorable couple for a few more seconds not being able to get enough of Alexander’s happy and relaxed face.

Although he was happy to see Alex in this blissful state, he felt an unfamiliar pang in his heart which he couldn’t quite identify and grasp on.

Perhaps it was sadness, maybe a bit of jealousy too because he wasn’t the one making Alex look so free and young, at least not anymore.

Or it might have been fear.

He was scared that if something went wrong between them, Alex and Saoirse, Alex would close upon himself and there would be no going back, he would get lost forever in the darkness of his mind. Timmy couldn’t afford that, he couldn’t afford to lose his best friend, his family, the other piece of him.

He felt as if Alex was his mirror and the dark side of him. As if he was the sun and Alex was the moon. Timmy was the light, and he was the dark. They were completely different yet identical in a way.

Armie looked down at Timmy, his happy face quickly morphed into a confused one upon seeing an unreadable expression painting Timmy’s soft features. In the days he had spent with the boy, Armie had rapidly understood that the hazel-eyed beauty was effortless to read, every single emotion he felt was depicted right in his beautiful green orbs. But now it felt as if a barrier had been raised between Timmy and the outside world, leaving Armie to question what was troubling the beautiful boy.

Was it Alexander and his friend? No, it couldn’t have been, Timmy’s smile was larger than life when he had spotted them.

Did it have to do with meeting Henry? Possibly, Armie decided. He was probably nervous about meeting Henry. That was the only logical explanation he could come up with.

Is that alright? Timmy wondered.

Is what I’m feeling alright? Should I be feeling the way I am? He closed his eyes, tightening his grip on Armie’s hand in an attempt to ground himself.

“Are you alright, baby?” Armie kindly asked mimicking Alexander’s previous movements, brushing Timmy’s hair away from his face to be able to look at him better.

Am I alright? Timmy asked himself, staring up at Armie’s ocean eyes, which were full of worry. Before he was able to make up his mind about what the right answer was, Timmy nodded and smiled at Armie.

“I’m alright.” He replied confidently, even though what he was feeling was the complete opposite of confidence. He didn’t what exactly he was feeling, but as sure as hell, it wasn’t confidence.

Armie nodded and returned his gaze to the couple. Saoirse leaned up, placing a chaste kiss on Alexander’s cheek, making Timmy inhale sharply once more.

“Do you know her?” The taller man asked. Timmy nodded, playing with Armie’s fingers, not tearing his eyes from them.

“Saoirse, we’re in the same class. She’s nice. She’s going to make him happy.” Timmy replied, his tone soft. Armie’s blue eyes widened at the mention of her name.

If she was the same person Henry had eyes for, she probably was considering it wasn’t a common name, they were screwed. He’d hate Alexander even more than he already did and would probably get heartbroken if he found out the two were together.

“Henry had mentioned her to me once, he said he liked her, even read literature to impress her.” Timmy chuckled at that, internally wishing she had gone for Henry instead of Alex, _his_ Alex. He was being selfish, so bloody selfish and he knew it, but he couldn’t help himself.

“He must have liked her a lot.” Armie agreed.

“He hates classic lit, so with that being said it’s obvious he liked her, probably still does.” Timmy felt sorry for Henry even though he didn’t know him.

“Let’s go meet him, shall we?” He asked, mostly wanting to get away from his best friend and his girlfriend.

Girlfriend, a word which didn’t sit well with Timmy.

“Are you sure about it? You were having second thoughts about it a few seconds ago.” Timmy looked up at Armie, confused. He racked through his brain, trying to remember if he had mentioned anything about having second thoughts but came up with nothing. He then realised it might have been his sour expression about Alex and Saoirse.

“It’s fine, I want to meet him, he is your best friend.” He mumbled, leaning closer to Armie. Armie wrapped his arm around Timmy’s waist, bringing him closer to him if that was possible.

“Let’s go then.” He smiled down at the smaller boy, Timmy smiled softly up at him in return.

They walked down the hallway towards Armie’s dorm. The hazel-eyed boy made eye contact with the tall British man. Alexander’s lips lifted up in a smile the second their eyes met, causing Timmy’s heart clench inside his chest and tried to smile back at his friend, his Alex.

When he and Armie turned away, Timmy missed Alexander’s smile turning into a frown upon seeing Timmy’s mood.

-

After they went to Armie’s dorm only to find it empty with a note from Henry saying he had gone for a walk needing some air, the two headed to the library, none of them wanting to stay inside the small dorm.

The two had taken a seat on one of the comfortable sofas, Timmy had tucked himself on Armie’s side under his strong arm, his head resting on Armie’s chest as the ocean eyed man typed away on his laptop. Timmy felt serene as he listened to Armie’s heart beating where his head was pressed, the rate picking up a bit each time Armie looked information up in order to finish his assignment.

The hazel-eyed boy reached out, and with two pale fingers, he toyed with the pendant resting on Armie’s chest.

“Will, you ever, give it back to me?” He asked softly not really wanting to interrupt the man’s studies. Armie’s eyes remained glued on the screen of his laptop for a few seconds. He then looked down at Timmy.

“Do you want it back?” He asked out of genuine curiosity.

Do I want it back? Timmy asked himself.

“No, not really.” He replied out loud, looking up at Armie. He let go of the pendant and used his fingers to gently caress Armie’s face.

“He gifted it to me a few days after our first time. I never took it off even after everything ended up so badly between us. But I guess when we had sex, you and I, I mean, it broke and it slipped off me and it was almost like a sign I have to move on from the whole thing, even though I didn’t see it like this for a long while. So yes, I want you to keep it.” He carefully said. He wanted to see it on Armie and remind himself that he was moving on with his life and nothing would hold him back.  Especially not his past.

“Our meeting was miraculous.” Said Armie pressing a kiss on Timmy’s forehead. A gentle act which turned Timmy’s insides into the softest and smallest thing.

“It was indeed.”Timmy admired out loud for the first time ever. Armie’s smile was large and bright, his head was feeling dizzy from the amount of happiness rushing through his veins, his heart beat faster under the weight of Timmy’s head. Timmy noticed the skipping beat of Armie’s heart.

“Don’t have a heart attack on me.” He said with a soft giggle.

“I feel dizzy from the happiness,” Armie said, nuzzling his nose in Timmy’s soft cheek. His beard tickled and gently scratched the boy’s skin, but he welcomed it with open arms. Timmy loved how it looked on the older boy, it made him look more manly and harsh the complete opposite of his personality.

Timmy suddenly felt daring, confidence washed all over him because of Armie’s words and his own new little revelation.

He gently grasped Armie’s chin between his thumb and forefinger. Armie felt himself stop breathing for a second something he didn’t know it was humanly possible till Timmy came along.

Timmy slowly leaned closer to the older man, his eyes moving from Armie’s ocean eyes to the softness of his petal pink lips he craved to taste again, and this time actually enjoy.

Timmy pressed his cherry lips on Armie’s in the softest and most gentle kiss he could manage. Even though it was chaste, it made Armie feel electrified, his eyes fluttered shut the moment Timmy’s lips touched his.

Timmy pulled away after a few seconds, Armie’s eyes opened to meet Timmy’s hazel ones, the older one still feeling breathless. Timmy’s lips parted open, and after he took a breath entirely calming his nerves, he pushed his lips back one Armie’s this time more forceful, craving more -all of it- now that he could finally have it.

Armie pushed his laptop off his lap, letting it fall on the sofa next to him with a soft thud, his hands immediately making themselves at home on Timmy’s small waist. He kissed Timmy back as if he had been lost in the desert for days, and Timmy’s lips were his oasis, and he couldn’t get enough of them.

Timmy smiled on Armie’s lips allowing Armie to taste his smile. As they parted for air, Timmy slowly ran his wicked little tongue over Armie’s lips. The man’s features breaking out in a smile.

“Is that alright?” The hazel-eyed boy asked breathlessly. Armie nodded slowly, his smile widening earning a warm chuckle from Timmy.

“More than alright.” He mumbled, pressing their lips back together in a searing kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come chat with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all?  
> Thank you so so much for the love you've been giving this story it honestly means the world to me, every comment and every kudos is appreciated from me.  
> Now this chapter is one of my favourite and it was so much fun writing it, I hope you will love it as much as I do.  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you think or if you have any questions, I promise I will try to answer them.  
> Thank you so much for reading my story and for the feedback which is honestly amazing!  
> I love you and and I appreciate every single one of you.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Bisous x

Armie stared at the cream coloured ceiling of his dorm with a goofy smile which seemed like it didn’t want to be wiped off his lips. He had no idea for how long he had been lying on his back on the bed of his dorm looking like a lovesick fool. He brought his fingertips up to his mouth, tracing his lips right where Timmy’s cherry lips previously were kissing him and nipping at his lips.

He laughed at himself, thinking about how ridiculous he must look. He closed his eyes, bringing both of his hands up to cover up his flushed red with blush face and the dimples that dented his cheeks. His body felt light, and his head was still floating in the seventh heaven due to the high of happiness he was on ever since the hazel-eyed boy had pressed his sinful cherry red lips on Armie’s. The sweet action had caused Armie’s soul to leave his body and float away like a butterfly in the spring, flying around pretty fields full of bright coloured flowers.

If anyone told him a few months ago that his misery would have turned into uncontainable happiness, Armie would have laughed straight up to their face, but now here he was.

He lowered his hands to his chest, and with one hand he clutched the dainty tulip resting there, reminding him once more that all of this was real and all he wasn’t dreaming, he hadn’t slipped into an alternative universe, this was his life from now on.

Happiness, love and growth.

He had just found the cure to all his problems, and it was Timothée’s sweet and loving kiss as cliche it sounded.

God, when had he become such a sap? He didn’t know, and it didn’t matter because it felt right, being cheesy and soft while being so high in love felt right. Finally, Armie could understand why there were so many fairy tales about lovers and princes who were able to heal their princess’s with a kiss, a kiss of true love. It actually existed, and he was more than happy to have experienced it because it genuinely was life-changing.

He now was familiar with the reasons behind why storms were named after people and why the kisses in fairytale were so magical. They were all because of people. Because love existed and it changed you in ways you couldn’t possibly know before falling for someone. Something as meaningless as a name, a kiss, a location even a song, changed when you linked them with a person who meant something to you, they suddenly had meaning, and they were so real that you sometimes couldn’t feel with the feelings and memories they brought along.

Armie smiled, thinking that not only he had a beautiful storm in his life, he also had something absolutely crazy called love.

He heard keys on the door before it opened, revealing an equally happy-looking Henry.

“Hello, mate!” Henry chirped smiling and plopped down on Armie’s bed. He threw his keys on the night table, missing it for a couple of inches and groaned making Armie chuckle.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked with a smile, matching Henry’s.

“I don’t know, man you tell me. I mean, look at you, the smile is about to reach your ears.” Henry teased his friend.

“We kissed,” Armie said, unable to contain his smile.

“How was it?”

“It was amazing, all my senses came to life, I felt like God breathed air into my lungs, and I’m reborn as a brand new person,” Armie said, his cheeks flushing red again, knowing he sounded like a love fool and his best friend was going to tease the hell out of him for sounding so cheesy. To his surprise, Henry’s reaction wasn’t at all what he expected.

“I’m happy for you, Armz. You deserve this,” Henry said with a smile.

“Now tell me, why are you all smiles?” Armie asked nudging the raven-haired man with his knee. Henry chuckled nervously, but the smile didn’t leave his face as he lowered his gaze to his hands resting between his own spread legs.

“I, well, I have to tell you something important about me first.” Armie nodded, sitting up, with his back on the bedpost.

“I’m gay, Armz,” Armie smiled at his friend's words even though he didn’t found it surprising, he had known long before Henry himself had realised it. He was happy and proud to see Henry was slowly coming to terms with it.

Instead of saying anything, he wrapped his arms around the raven-haired lad and held him in a tight embrace. Henry smiled appreciating the hug and feeling thankful Armie had accepted it so quickly even though he expected nothing less from him.

“I’m glad you’re coming to terms with it, and you’re feeling comfortable enough to tell me.”  Henry pulled back slapping Armie’s chest.

“You knew all along?” Armie laughed at Henry’s reaction.

“Long before you did,” He raised his eyebrows playfully still smiling wide. Henry shook his head.

“That makes two of you.”

“Two of us?”

“Yeah, Alexander knew too. He put the two and two together the morning after we had sex. Saw the marks you left on my shoulders and said that they belong to a man, he went on doing a full analysis about the hand and how some fingers are longer than a woman's. It blew my mind if I’m honest I couldn’t focus on the fact that he knew my secret but on the fact he is so fucking bright.” Henry mumbled looking at Armie.

Again Armie was not surprised, he had speculated that Alexander knew what he and Henry had done the previous night. He vividly remembered Alexander’s icy stare, seeing through him and slowly coming to the conclusion of Armie’s unhealthy coping mechanism.

“Of course, it’s Alex we’re talking about.” Henry chuckled, agreeing with him.

“What made you come to terms with it?”

“Harry.” Armie looked at him more interested than before.

“We’ve been spending quite a lot of time together now, most of the times we hang out in one of the open music rooms, he tends to strum his guitar while we talk. He calmed me down about it, saying that it’s okay that I still don’t know where I stand in the world or who I really am, because we humans shouldn’ try to find who we should be, but we should create ourselves and carve us out, based on things that make us happy and things we want. There are no such things as God’s plan or written in the stars thing, or whatever happens, happens for a reason, we create our destiny too, we design, and we destroy everything according to the circumstances and the positions we find ourselves into,”

“Wise words,” Armie mumbled looking ahead of him out of the window.

-

    Timmy couldn’t contain the happiness he felt. His whole body was buzzing, he felt as if electricity was rushing through his veins. And although he was exhausted, Morpheus didn’t seem to want to wrap his arms around him and allow the boy to fall into a sleep filled with sweet dreams about a particular pair of ocean eyes.

Timmy rolled on his tummy, hiding his face in the pillows. He breathed out slowly and shut his eyes, wishing sleep would just come to him. After a few minutes, he turned on his back again and stared at the ceiling, finally giving up and accepting the fact that he wasn’t going to get any sleep.

He wished he was at his flat with the twins, he could make himself a warm cup of milk with a little bit of honey which would immediately relax him and make him feel sleepy and all mushy inside almost as if he was floating. Harry had made it for him the first night when the twins had taken him in. Later on, it became a little ritual, one of the twins, most of the time Harry, would make warm up some milk for Timmy and they would cuddle on the sofa, all of the three of them together, and when Timmy fell asleep, they would carry him to bed and press sweet kisses on his cheeks and forehead for goodnight. Thinking about it now, Timmy felt as if he was some kind of baby and the twins were his dads, making him milk and tucking him in bed.

He let out a soft, bittersweet chuckle at that, his little laugh the only sound in the quiet night.

He wondered if they would ever be like this again. If now that he had Armie and Alexander had Saoirse, they would still be as close as they used to be.

Would they still kiss him and hold him in their arms? Would they allow him to sleep in the same bed as them when they had sleepovers, or when they returned back to their flat for Christmas?

He hoped they would.

He hoped they would still spend Christmas together like every year. He certainly didn’t want things to change between the three of them. He didn’t want to lose them. It would be like losing his family. He had seen it happening already two times, he wouldn’t be able to handle a third time.

All the tiredness he was previously feeling, completely dissolved into thin air, making Timmy feel annoyed and even more defeated. He grabbed his phone from under his pillow to check the time.

The harsh light from his cracked screen made him go blind for a second. He blinked a couple of time, letting his eyes adjust to the brightness into the pitch dark room. It was a little after three. Timmy swore it was around five or maybe six which would mean he would have to get up soon and go to his classes, put himself out of his misery but as usual, the universe and of course, time was against him.

He sighed audibly and pushed the covers off himself, the chill air of the room immediately made the few hairs on his soft pale body stand, a shiver run through his naked body. He grabbed the hoodie at the end of his bed and brought it over his head, warmth immediately enveloping his body as well as the scent of the oldest twin. Timmy bit his lower lip and run his hand over the right side of his chest knowing he was going to find the last name of the twins, embroidered on the hoodie. True to his assumptions, he felt six letters forming the word Styles under his long bony fingers. He recalled taking the pink hoodie a few nights ago when he had visited the twins in their dorm, wanting to tell them how much he loved his classes and how lovely his Professeur from Histoire D’Art was. The moment Harry had taken off the pink hoodie, Timmy got his hands on it, taking off his own thin t-shirt he had decided to wear which had earned him a scoff from Harry and a motherly lecture from Alexander about how he was going to catch a cold wearing such light clothing. Timmy had playfully rolled his eyes at him and told him that he was fine, but now his chest ached, thinking how it might have been the last time they interacted like this.

The small boy stood up pulling a pair of joggers, and quietly made his way to the door, not bothering to put on shoes. Careful not to startle and unsettle Troye, he opened the door as quiet as possible and stepped outside of the dormitory, shutting the door behind him. He walked down the silent hallway, towards the stairs intending to go outside, get some fresh air.

As he descended the marble stairs, his eyes caught sight of a shirtless figure, leaning on the window, looking out at the cold Parisian night.

The man’s naked back was turned towards Timmy, the large image of the angel wings tattooed on his back, screamed at Timmy to run to the curly haired man. And Timmy complied, of course, he did.

Alexander didn’t need to turn around to know who had joined him, knowing the sound of naked little feet running on the marble floors, so he simply continued staring outside unbothered by Timmy’s presence, just waiting for the moment Timmy would wrap his arms around his tall frame.

Timmy stared at Alexander’s hench back and debated whether he should bother him or let him be since he seemed to be so serene and lost in his own thoughts not even noticing him and if he had, he couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to him. The thought alone saddened Timmy, despite the fact that he knew that the man more often than not, needed time for himself.

“Why are you awake, petal?” Alexander decided to break the silence, sensing Timmy’s hesitance, his eyes thought did not move from the dark night extending in front of his heterochromatic eyes. Timmy timidly moved to wrap his arms around Alex’s middle, pressing his head onto his muscular back between his shoulder blades and fluttered his eyes close already feeling more relaxed.

“Couldn’t sleep. I felt restless, too many things on my mind.” Timmy said in a hushed whisper not really wanting to interrupt the silence. Alex placed his warm hands on top of Timmy’s lacing their fingers together, wishing to feel the boy as close to him as possible.

“What’s troubling your pretty little mind?” Alexander asked, bringing the boy’s hands up to his lips and pressed soft kisses on Timmy’s cold hands and held them tighter in his trying to warm them up.

Timmy chewed on his lower lip and hesitated for a few beats of silence, not really knowing how he could ask the older boy if he would stop loving him now that they both had someone in their lives. He would sound silly and probably Alexander would laugh at him, any sane person would laugh at Timmy’s worries. He let out a soft sigh burring his head further in the man’s back and pressed his body closer to his.

“It's silly.” He mumbled on Alexander’s skin, his soft lips caressing the ink on his skin. The older boy raised an eyebrow even though Timmy couldn’t see it.

“It is not silly if it keeps you up, my love.” He said, turning around in Timmy’s arms wanting to be able to look at the boy’s face. Timmy lowered his head, feeling stupid and small because of his fears. What made things worse was how gentle Alex was being. He knew that the older boy would definitely not be so kind to him if things were about to change between them, he’d probably turn cold and hostile like he was with the rest of the world.

“Hey, petal, what’s wrong?” Alex asked, his voice as gentle as ever. Two soft fingers carefully tilted Timmy’s chin towards the older boy, their eyes meeting. Alexander thought that Timmy’s eyes looked like the most beautiful crystals illuminated by the moonlight.

Timmy threw his arms around the older boy and held onto him as if his life depended on it. Although Alexander was taken aback, he wrapped his arms around the boy too, holding him as close as he could. Even though Alexander had the ability to read through people, he found it hard to understand what Timmy was currently feeling which he found bizarre, considering the boy usually was like an open book.

“I saw you with Saoirse before,” Timmy whispered hugging Alex tighter and nuzzled his nose in the man’s neck, his curls tickling Alex’s jawline. Alexander remained silent as he slowly caught on, understanding what Timmy was trying to say. He pressed a kiss on his silky curls and run his large hand down the boy’s back, trying to put out the fire which was starting to come alive inside his veins.

“Is she the one?” He found the courage to ask, pulling away from Alexander and looked up at him. Before Alexander could answer his question, Timmy fired at him with another one, feeling anger and jealousy bubbling up inside his chest like it had done a few hours prior when he had come across the two of them looking cosy together.

“Is she the one who’s going to take you away from me? The one you’ve been waiting for so long to change your life and move on from your heartbreak? Is she all you want, your priority from now on?” Alexander remained quiet his stone cold eyes trained on Timmy’s features, trying to understand from where all these had suddenly come from.

“I want to know!” Timmy said a little louder. His hands trembled at his sides. He didn’t know if it was because of the cold or the fear that overtook his senses, terrified of what Alexander would say. Perhaps it was because of the anger he was suddenly feeling.

“She might be,” Alexander said. His voice was monotone and had an unreadable look in his eyes, which reminded Timmy of when he had met him when the older boy didn’t utter a single word to him or even looked in his direction. He didn’t want to return to that stage again, it would kill him if they went back to that.

Suddenly his anger dissolved into fear which crawled all over his body, making him feel small. When had he become so bipolar?

“I-I don’t want things to change between us.” He whispered brokenly, before swallowing the lump which had started to form in his throat.

“Between you, Harry and I. You guys are my family, far more than that actually. You’ve done for much more my family ever did for me. You took me in, you told me and made me feel as if I’m everything. You bathed me, cleaned up my scars and kissed away the pain I was feeling, meant all of my broken pieces. I’m afraid that I will wake up tomorrow to you acting cold towards me as if whatever we’ve been through didn’t mean anything to you.” Alexander’s eyes darkened, his heterochromatic eyes turned into pools of dark green and blue, which if Timmy stared at too long, he would surely drown in. He looked mad and sad, deeply hurt at the same time.

He took a step back, shaking his head, making Timmy’s eyes instantly widen with fear, thinking that this was the end of them, Alexander would spit out a few last words and be gone forever from his life. He would have to face him every day without being able to run to him or touch him. 

Instead, Alex moved forward again and lifted Timmy up in his arms by the back of his thighs. He set him on the window sill, and a large hand was around his throat, putting steady pressure on Timmy’s airways. Alex was breathing heavily through his nose, his lips pursing as his jaw slowly clenched and unclenched.

Timmy ran his fingers through Alexander’s short, chestnut hair. Even though he should have been scared of Alex’s crazed look, he knew that the older man would never dare to hurt him.

“What sort of monster do you think I am, Timothée?” Alexander hissed, his mismatched eyes burning with a fire Timmy had never seen before. He felt his heart sink in his chest from the harsh word Alexander used to describe himself. He had been hearing that word floating around the older boy’s name the past few days. Whenever the two would walk down the hallways together heading or returning from classes, he could hear people say in hushed whispers the word “monster” about Alexander.

He swallowed and quickly shook his head, his fingers fisting Alexander’s hair. He tugged gently at the short curls, bringing their faces closer till they were inches apart, their breaths mingling together from their close proximity. His other hand lowered to cup Alexander’s cheek as they looked at each other deep in the eyes. Each one of them had a different kind of fire burning through them.

“You’re not a monster, please do not say that ever again,” Timmy whispered. Alexander let out a humourless chuckle, the sound echoing throughout the quiet walls of the university.

“Then why do you think I would act like one?” He seethed, his grip slightly tightening on the boy’s throat.

“Not even the worst kind of monster would ever abandon the person he loves more than his own bloody self. Just because I found someone new, doesn’t mean I will give up on you. You, Timothée, my sweet little dear Timothée, you matter to me more than _I_ matter to me.” The fingers of his other hand were digging in the soft skin of the boy’s hips, holding him as tightly as he could. Timmy was sure there were going to be fingerprints on his skin later, and he couldn’t wait for that. Alexander leaned closer to Timmy, his breath warm breath fanned over Timmy’s lips. The smaller boy felt a shiver run down his spine, and his eyes trailed from Alexander’s eyes to his full lips, licking his own in the process.

Alexander pulled his hand away from Timmy’s throat and brought it down to rest on Timmy’s other hip, before nuzzling his nose into Timmy’s long neck, his soft lips pressing against Timmy’s milky skin in a slow kiss, which left the boy a breathless mess. His legs wrapped themselves around Alexander’s waist, and he pulled the man closer to him by pressing his naked heels on Alexander’s back.

“We’ll always belong to each other Timothée, even if we love different people and move on with our lives. We are more than family, more than lovers, more than anything. We are everything and more.” Alexander whispered, pressing his body more into Timmy’s, his soft lips trailing on Timmy’s neck, connecting the freckles with tiny open-mouthed kisses. The younger boy teared up, feeling utterly stupid for even thinking that Alexander would ever give up on him or stop loving him.

“I feel stupid.” He said out loud, with a wet chuckle. Alexander tilted his head up to meet Timmy’s gaze.

“Don’t, Petal. There’s nothing wrong with being a little bit insecure. But you should never doubt my love. It will never change, I will love you even when we’re ghosts.” Timmy cupped the man’s face in his hands and joined their foreheads.

“Even when we’re ghosts.” He whispered and let his eyes fall shut. If anyone woke up and saw them like this, their bodies intertwined not being able to tell where the one started, and the other ended, they would definitely think they are lovers. Lovers who adore each other with all their being.

 The two of them were something entirely different though. They were more than lovers could ever be. Their bond was something stronger, something which every couple would definitely be jealous of.

They were soulmates, they were meant to cross paths and heal each other’s broken pieces with love. Timothée would make Alexander go against his nature for him, soften him, make his good side surface and Alexander would make Timmy the king of his world, he would give him his heart and soul, he would make him get over his fears and guide him through the darkest and most cold nights.

The two held on each other as if their lives depended on it, Timmy enjoying the warmth radiating off Alexander’s built body. The older boy felt all the demons in his head, which had caused him to wake up in the middle of the night, finally getting silenced by the love and affection he received from his Petal.

“Come sleep with me, petal.” He murmured softly as he felt Timmy nuzzling closer to him, trying to get as comfortable as he could. Timmy hummed sleepily, feeling drained from the events of the day and the unexpected changes and feelings which had surfaced.

Alexander lifted him up in his arms again, Timmy clinging to his body like a vice, gripping whatever skin he could find, fearing that the taller boy would disappear if he didn’t hold onto him.

The two walked inside the dorm the twins shared. The older boy locked eyes with his brother who was sitting on his bed, his green eyes heavy with sleep as he waited for Alex to return.

 Harry watched as his brother carefully laid Timmy’s body in his bed. He continued watching as Alexander’s long fingers pulled the hoodie Timmy was wearing off his thin frame. He climbed on the bed hovering over Timmy’s body, his soft lips running down the newly exposed skin of Timmy’s chest going lower, till he reached the soft joggers the boy was wearing and he carefully dragged them off his slim legs. Timmy leaned forward pressing his lips a little under Alexander’s collar bone, his bony fingers run down the man’s body, his, muscles jumping under Timmy’s light fingers which drove Timmy crazy, he loved the way Alexander’s body reacted to his touch. His fingers finally hooked under Alexander’s joggers, and he tugged them down, with a little bit of help from Alex.

Timmy laid back on the bed while Alex threw their clothes off the bed. He then faced Timmy who spread his legs and opened his arms needing the older boy to press his body on his so they could be one. Alex complied, wrapping his arms around Timothée needing to be close to him as much as Timmy did.

Timmy sighed a quiet sigh of relief, finally being able to feel their skin pressing as close as they possibly could be. He looked at Alex, cupping his face in his hands and kissed him slowly, feeling the world slow down around them as the older boy kissed him back and wished he could have Alex much, much closer to him.

Timmy needed it, craved to feel Alex everywhere, have him envelop his whole entire being and destroy the line the two had somehow draw between them. He knew if he ever asked Alex, the man wouldn’t tell him no. He knew that Alex would do anything for him, go against his morals and subconscious just to please and make Timmy smile.

Timmy decided it wasn’t the right time for it, it would be in the heat of a moment, and if he ever decided to give himself to Alexander, he wanted it to be sweet and full of love instead of full of pent up frustration and jealousy.

Alex wrapped his arms around Timmy’s body, bringing him closer to him and pulled the covers over them, knowing how cold the boy tended to get through the night. He pressed a gentle kiss on his soft lips, before closing his eyes, relaxing inside the arms of the boy he loved.

“You’re always so warm,” Timmy whispered.

“It’s because my soul has been burning in hell since I was young,” Alexander mumbled holding Timmy tighter.

Harry swallowed as he looked at his brother and Timmy. Their breathes finally were slowly settling down, breathing evenly and in sync.

“Please believe me when I say I love you.” He heard Alexander breath out.

 With that, Harry was wide awake. His heart was hammering in his chest, and there was a little voice inside his chest, probably his instinct, yelling at him that this story wouldn’t end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Henry and Harry? Do you guys want to see more of them in upcoming chapters?  
> Come chat with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my darlings! How are you? I hope you all had a lovely week!  
> Thank you all so much for the kudos and the lovely comments in the last chapter, I enjoyed so so much talking to you.  
> Now in this chapter, things get a little rough so buckle up because it is going to be a rough one and you might get triggered. All mistakes are mine.  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think, if you liked it or if you want me to change anything or of you have any questions which I can answer.  
> Thank you so much for reading my story it means the world to me.  
> Alright you guys I'll see you all next Saturday,  
> Have a lovely weekend  
> Bisous x

Timmy pushed through the crowd of students in the hallway, trying to get to Armie. The moment he spotted the much taller man he moved away from Alexander and Harry and dashed towards him like a kid on a summer Sunday evening running towards the ice cream man to buy his favourite flavour of ice cream. The twins watched the smaller boy with matching amused faces as Timmy wrapped his arms around a very surprised Armie who embraced the boy with a loud laugh. Henry stood a little further away watching the scene unfold before him, finally seeing in person the famous Timmy, Armie never stopped raving about.

“Good morning to you too.” Armie smiled looking down at Timmy who was seemed to be glowing with happiness. Timmy leaned up on his tippy toes and connected their lips in a soft kiss, the man kissing him back in the same way.

“Hi,” Timmy finally greeted him after they pulled away tucking a stray curl away from his ears. His cheeks turned a reddish colour noticing the stares they were receiving and hid his smiling face into Armie’s chest.

“You seem to be in a good mood today.” Armie ran his hand down the boy’s back in a soothing manner. Timmy smiled at that and nodded.

“I am.” He beamed up at Armie and leaned up to press another sweet kiss on his lips.

“How come?” Armie mumbled on the boy’s lips, holding him close to him, not wanting them to be an inch apart. The two wouldn’t see each other for more hours than usual since Armie’s classes finished later than Timmy’s that day.

Timmy stuttered a bit at Armie’s question. He couldn’t possibly tell Armie about his selfish needs, his want, more likely his need, to be Alexander’s priority. Deep down he knew that what he had done last night was wrong on so many levels, but the devil on his shoulder pinched him with his little pointy pitchfork telling him to quiet down because he knew he needed Alex in his life as much as Alex needed him.

“Just woke up happy, that’s all. I couldn’t wait to kiss you again.” Timmy said gently gripping Armie’s chin between his fingers and pressed yet another kiss on Armie’s lips, to prove his point.

Armie laughed in Timmy’s mouth, feeling exactly the same way as Timmy. He woke up itching for the moment his lips would capture Timmy’s in a soft good morning kiss, a lucky charm for the rest of his day.

Henry cleared his throat from behind them and spoke up like an annoying human cuckoo clock reminding them that their time was limited, for now at least.

“We’ll be late to class Armz.”Armie closed his eyes savouring Timmy’s sweet taste before pulling away.

He cleared his throat as he wrapped a strong arm around Timmy’s waist and turned to his friend and partner in crime.

“H, this is Timothée Chalamet, baby this is Henry Cavill, my best friend and brother,” Armie said with a smile. Henry smiled, happy with his friend's happiness and shook Timmy’s hand.

“Nice to meet you, Henry.” Timmy sweetly said making Armie almost preen, at how raw his voice sounded just from a few kisses. He couldn’t wait to hear Timmy’s voice when he would be all fucked out and satisfied, with a bit of cum coating the back of his throat after a good blowjob which Armie desperately needed. He made a mental note to ask Henry later knowing that he and Timmy weren’t ready for that level of intimacy yet.

“Nice to meet you too Timothée.” Henry smiled warmly at him.

“Oh, please call me Timmy.” Henry nodded and took a step back again to watch as Armie leaned down to press a sweet kiss on Timmy’s forehead. Timmy closed his eyes as a soft smile broke on his features.

“I get off late today,” Armie mumbled stroking Timmy’s cheek with his thumb. Timmy nodded looking up at Armie, he already knew that from Alex who was in the same classes with Armie.

“I know, I remember from last time. We can meet when you get off or go for dinner maybe, hm? How does that sound?” He asked reaching up to run his fingers through the man’s hair, combing them carefully.

Armie nodded in agreement.

“Dinner sounds nice, we can go to the little bistro we went after we visited the Louvre, you liked it a lot.” Timmy beamed at that.

“Sounds like a plan.”

-

Armie sat down on the marble steps at the end of the hallway with a sigh, Henry sat next to him holding his book on his lap. Armie’s head was pounding with a headache which wouldn’t leave him alone since his third class had started, which was approximately two hours ago and he had another two long hours ahead of him full of lectures. He didn’t know if he was capable of sitting through both of them and take notes while his professuer went on and on about criminal laws.

He placed his head in his hands and shut his eyes taking a few slow breaths through his nose and rubbed small circles with his thumb between his eyebrows in an attempt to somehow ease his headache.

He heard Henry make a noise next to him, something between a choke and a gasp along with some muffled words. Armie didn’t pay attention to him. Instead, he closed his eyes tighter and tried to relax as much as he could.

“You have to see this, mate,” Henry said, his voice was alarmingly high and almost choked out, he didn’t sound himself.

“What is it?” Armie mumbled, wincing. Even the sound of his voice hurt his head.

“See for yourself.” Henry swallowed as Armie extended his hand toward him. Henry placed his phone in Armie’s hand, the man closing his fingers around it and brought it closer to him. Sighing, he slowly opened his eyes and looked down at the screen, the bright light hurt, even more, his tired eyes. He read the header of the article Henry was previously reading, multiple times wanting to believe what he had read was a fragment of his imagination, the worst kind of a mind trick.

His heart fell on his stomach and his throat started tightening around nothing, knowing that it was as real as it could get.

There was a strong wave of sadness slowly crawling from his legs up to his stomach which was starting to churn, up towards his throat which was constricting even more as he tried to swallow the bile which was gathering up inside his throat.

“It can’t be true.” His voice was barely above a whisper. He used his thumb to scroll down the rest of the article, reading the details of it before finally landing on a picture attached to the bottom o the article.

He ran a finger over it and stifled a sob.

The word fatal crash was burned in his mind.

“I’m so sorry Armie.” Henry sympathetically whispered and placed a gentle hand on Armie’s shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“He is gone, died on impact,” Armie whispered, repeating the words of the article, trying to wrap his head around it, even though he knew it wasn’t going to be so easy.

Henry just nodded, not knowing what to say or if he should say anything at all. He knew he shouldn’t speak. Armie needed to work it out with himself first.

Armie buried his face in his hands and breathed deeply, his headache getting worse by the second. The words of the article were piercing a hole through his heart, making him want to scream out from the pain he felt.

He read the bold lettered header again.

A fatal car crash ended the reign of Richard Hammer in the business world.

Armie’s hands started shaking, and so did the rest of his body. Herny immediately took notice of that and looked around before quickly standing up.

“Let’s go back to our dorm before you have a panic attack in the middle of the hallway.” He gently said. To his surprise, Armie immediately agreed and slowly stood up on shaky legs. Henry moved and quickly wrapped his arms around his friend’s shaking and heaving frame.

“My father is dead,” Armie mumbled closing his eyes, allowing Henry to guide him.

Henry nodded once more, he could understand how Armie was feeling. Every memory of his parent's death was rushing back in his brain, but he pushed them all away. He didn’t have the time to mourn for them all over again and Armie was far more important.

He continued dragging Armie’s almost paralysed from the shock body through the masses of animatedly talking students who gave them weird stares as they passed by them.

Armie lifted his head up for a moment, his blue eyes taking in every pair of eyes who looked at their direction. He saw people whispering to each other, possibly about them and for a moment he was glad nobody knew who he really was.

He wouldn’t be able to stand their fake sympathy, their almost empathetic stares, some would be genuine, and some would be fake – most of them would be fake. He didn’t need that.

He needed to be alone, as alone as he could be in a building filled with obnoxious students from all over the world.

His eyes locked for a mere second with a pair of mismatched green and blue eyes and he felt panic bubbling up inside his chest alongside his grief.

 Seeing Alexander meant that Timmy was somewhere close around them since the two of them seemed to be attached by the hip. Armie, he wasn’t ready to face Timmy, not yet. He had to find a way to mask his feelings and put on a brave face for their dinner later on, pretend that everything was just fine.

Alexander smiled at him, a tiny little barely-there smile which could also be mistaken for just a twitch or possibly some spasm in his facial features which the man couldn’t control. Yet, for some reason, it made Armie almost freeze in terror because he swore he could almost see some kind of barely there feeling of sadness and sympathy.

Armie thought that maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him, his headache and the inexplicable feeling inside his soul and heart due to the so sudden loss of his father, had shocked him and sent some kind of paranoid feelings through his brain and made him see things.

Paranoia hit him like a tidal wave before he could even move or focus on his breathing and push away some the bad thoughts he already had. What if Alexander knew, was his question, which petrified him.

Did he know the truth?

How could he possibly know?

A shudder ran through him, and he forced himself to turn away from the curly haired man’s direction and focus solely on his breathing. Armie slowly took deep breaths through his flared nostrils, almost looking like a wounded animal unable to breathe. He slightly parted his lips, feeling himself being able to breath easier through his mouth.

As he slowly started getting lightheaded from the too much air rushing too quick towards his brain, he closed his mouth and tried to think as rationally as he could manage, reminding himself that no matter how smart Alexander was and how easily he could read people, there was no way he could have found out his secret. Unless, he had dug in deep but that would have been an arduous task, and Alexander wasn’t that kind of person who would dig up someone’s past up.

He was shallow and didn’t care too much –at all about people.

Armie decided what had happened was just a fragment of his imagination which was running wild, creating scenarios to somehow get distracted from the emptiness he was feeling.

When they were finally out of sight, Armie allowed himself to slowly crumble. His walls slowly started coming apart one by one. He felt a scorching warmth spreading all over his eyes and a painful stinging sensation. He could feel his throat tightening once more, his lips and cheeks started slowly twitching as more and more tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to fall.

Henry held Armie tighter holding him up straight as he pushed the key inside the keyhole twisting it allowing him and Armie to enter inside their dorm. Armie let go of Henry as soon as they stepped inside and threw himself on the bed, curling up on top of the sheets in an attempt to make himself as small as possible. His knees were up to his chest, his arms came to wrap themselves around his knees.

Finally, he let his tears run down his cheeks, his body shaking and heaving with the sobs. He shut his eyes, his mind replaying memories from when he was a boy, playing with his father in their garden and sneaking in his office, perching himself upon his dark green leather office chair pretending to rule the world. His father would always stand by the door watching Armie with a fond smile as Armie gave orders to people he had made up in his mind.

He remembered hugging his father for the last time just before he left for France. He remembered how tightly he had held Armie, his father’s grey-blue eyes staring into his. Richard had caressed his face and told him that he was going to be a great lawyer, a great man and person, he was proud of him for chasing his dream. Armie had felt bad to how oblivious his father had been to the real reason why Armie was leaving New York.

His father was a good person, the best he had ever come across. He was intelligent and fair, kind to everyone but sometimes naïve and innocent, not always there to make decisions, which was the reason why his mother had taken over the company, and for years everything run relatively smooth until recently.

Armie felt the bed dip next to him, Henry had taken a seat next to him. The man’s fingers ran through Armie’s hair, and Armie shut his eyes tighter slowly moving his head away from Henry’s gentle touch.

“Can you leave me alone for a bit? I need to be alone, please.” Armie croaked, his voice sounded rough and wrecked, but his words were soft. Henry’s hand stilled in his hair before he withdrew it completely. Henry sucked in a breath and nodded even though Armie couldn’t see him and stood up.

Armie stayed put until he heard the door shut behind his friend. He turned on his back covering his face with his large hands, allowing himself to mourn for the loss of his beloved father.

All he felt was emptiness, he wanted to cry, scream but couldn’t. The emptiness slowly spread all over his body and mind, till he felt numb.

He withdrew his shaky hands and looked up at the white ceiling numbly. His blue eyes were glassy and unfocused, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

“God.” He breathed out.

What was he going to do now?

Armie wanted to return to New York, that’s all he knew. He wanted to attend the funeral, say the last goodbye to his father, be where he belonged because if he was one hundred per cent honest with himself, he was a Hammer even though he hated admitting it, the man was his father, his family and his role model for years and he would always be.

He thought about what would happen if he went. How would he explain it to Timmy, to anyone, not just Timmy? He would blow his cover if he went, everyone would find out that he was the son of Richard Hammer, which it wouldn’t be so bad considering his family was a very respected family and the company seemed clean to the outside world.

But did he want that?

Did he want his people to find out the truth like this?

Certainly not. If they had to find out the truth, Armie wanted to be the one to tell them, be able to look at their faces, their eyes and tell them why he had hidden his identity.

And if they didn’t understand he would lose them.

Was he ready to face the risk of not only losing Timmy but his the twins too? Sure, he wasn’t too close to them, but they hang out a lot more than they did last year and he considered as them friends.

Going back also meant facing his mother. Something he wasn’t keen on doing. If he could, he would never face her again.

Armie clenched the grey bed sheets in a tight fist, his expression hardening as a thought crossed his mind.

Could it be?

Could his have father found out the truth about the shady business with the guns his mother did behind his back, and she killed him off? If was that true could it be possible that so many years ago Henry’s parents had died because they had speculated something?

His aching heart raced in his chest. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn’t ask anyone, he couldn’t tell anyone. He couldn’t tell Henry, that was obviously out of the question. He’d have to suffer, beat himself over it till it drove him crazy.

His phone buzzed from inside his pocket but chose to ignore it.

It was probably Henry, asking if he was alright or if he needed anything.

The answer to both was easy. No, Armie wasn’t alright, and yes, he needed to get away. Clear his head, disappear somehow.

The buzzing was persistent making Armie huff in frustration. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and swiped his thumb over the screen answering without looking at the caller ID.

“What?” He irritably said.

“That is not a way to talk to your mother, Armand.” Armie froze, his fingers clenched the bedsheets once more, the rest of his body tensing up. He exhaled slowly and closed his eyes slowly calming down himself.

“Mother,” He gritted his teeth and sat up on his bed, his phone up to his ears, his hand holding the black phone in a tight grip.

“Armie, my darling son I have some awful news to tell you.” Armie felt anger building up inside his chest, overpowering all of his senses and feelings.

“Were you involved with it?” He asked in an eerily calm tone.

“What do you mean, son?”

“The accident, mum! Did you do it? Was he closer to the truth and you killed him off?” He seethed and stood up walking towards the window of the dorm and opened it wide, letting the cold air hit his face, cooling down his heated from the anger skin.

His mother, Freya, laughed. Armie could clearly see her sitting in her black office chair in the headquarters of the company, her shoulder length brown hair which framed her angular face would move as she laughed, her eyes staring straight in the bookshelf on the wall on her left. Her expression would be somewhat sarcastic, a small smirk playing on her lips.

“I see you already found out about it.”

“What did you expect, it’s all over the news.”

“Of course, it obviously is a huge thing Armie. The whole business world is mourning the loss of your father, while you, his son, his blood and heir, is on the other side of the world flirting with some skinny French twink.” Armie exhaled once more. Her words and attitude didn’t surprise him, he was used to it.

“I’m studying, mother and I think my personal life is none of your business. And of course I’m mourning for my father, I loved him. He was one of the last few good men.” He heard her laugh again.

“Oh, you think so? Whatever you do is my business, be it your personal life, your studies, your stupid dreams, everything, Armie.”

“You do not, own me, mother.” He ran his fingers through his blonde hair messing them, feeling frustrated and hating himself for picking up the phone. His day which had started so nicely making him feel as if he was in heaven, ended up in burning flames.

“What a fool you are, son. Of course, I own you, I made you, everything you have is because of me. This company will be your legacy one day.” It was Armie’s turn to laugh a humourless laugh.

“My legacy will be billions of dead people you’ve killed? No, thank you, I’ll pass.”

“I’ve never killed anyone, Armie-“ He cut her off by exclaiming.

“The guns you sell did! It doesn’t make you any less innocent, mother. You are as guilty as the people who kill innocent men, women and children. You are one of the reasons millions of people are left without a home and they have to leave the countries to try to find a better life and a future somewhere else.”

“Are you quite finished yet?” He shook his head and let out a dry chuckle, running a hand over his face.

“I can’t believe you don’t care, you don’t give a damn. How can you be so heartless, without a single care for the world?”

“I’m not heartless, Armie.” Her voice was softer now but it didn’t fool Armie.

“You never answered my question.” He said.

“What question?”

“Were you involved with the accident?” He heard her sigh in exasperation, he bet she was also rolling her eyes.

“Why would I kill your father, Armie?”

“Because he found out what you are doing behind his back. You did the same thing with Henry’s parents, so who’s next, mum, me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, how was that?  
> Thoughts on Armie's mother and situation? Do you think Alexander knows?  
> I promise everything will be explained soon.  
> You can find me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I hope you had a lovely week. Thank you so much for your comments and kudos on the last chapter, as promised some of the answers you've all been waiting for have finally come in this chapter along with a little bit of more confusion and angst but I promise everything will start making sense from now on because the plot will start getting unveiled and I can't wait for all of you to find out everything about my beloved boys.  
> As usual leave me a comment down below telling me what you think of the chapter, kudos are appreciated as well I don't have to say it.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Have a lovely weekend   
> Bisous x

“If Rodin were alive he’d think that you’re the human version of The Thinker.” Came Alexander’s voice from somewhere behind Armie who had found shelter in the gardens of the Musée Rodin.

Armie closed his eyes and exhaled slowly through his nose. Alex and his smart mouth was the last thing he needed now. He had too many problems and too many things to think.

He had to think about everything and everyone.

About his mother, his father, Timmy, Henry and the twins but mostly himself.

Had he just challenged his mother, who was one of the most dangerous and greedy people and didn’t let anyone in her way of getting more powerful and having complete control over anything?

Yes, he had, and as sure as hell, it wasn’t the brightest ideas he had in years, but his emotions were getting the best of him, and he couldn’t help himself.

Was he afraid for his life? No, he wasn’t although there was a little voice in his head which screamed at him that he should be.

“You’d be Le Miserable Penseur.” Alexander took a seat down next to Armie.

Armie looked at him deciding he didn’t want to try and think about the possibilities of possibilities, of what his mother was planning to do because one thing was sure.

He definitely was next.

 He was sure that his mother wouldn’t let him off the hook like that. He knew the truth about everything, even about things she hadn’t admitted doing, and that made him a target.

Was she that heartless to get rid off her own son to continue thriving in the business world?

The answer was yes, she was.

What was eating him slowly from the inside was the fact that she knew about Timmy. He wasn’t surprised she knew about him, but Armie was scared because he knew the lengths Freya would go to make someone pay and she didn’t give it a second thought, she just went ahead and did it. And if she wanted to hurt Armie, he couldn’t see a better way than using Timmy against him, which terrified him to no end. He was putting an innocent boy who had already gone through hell and back, right in the harm’s way.

He didn’t deserve to get hurt because of Armie who couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

 “The original name of the sculpture was The Poet though, Le poète. A common belief is that Rodin originally intended to depict Dante at the gates of Hell, thinking about his oh so beautiful poem the Divine Comedy which is followed by Purgatorio and Paradiso. Do you like poetry, Armie?” Armie chuckled and shook his head before hiding it inside his palms.

“I’m going to ask you something, and God help me if you answer with a smart answer as always,” He seethed while Alexander smirked at that and sat up straight, allowing Armie to continue.

“How did you find me?” He lifted his head off his hands and looked at the man next to him, surprised to see him dressed down. Alexander had exchanged his tight trousers for a pair of comfy joggers and a hoodie, he noticed he had a messenger bag with him too.

 “I come here in the evenings to study.  It’s peaceful, there aren’t too many people around, the library back at the university is always crowded, and I don’t know, I prefer studying here instead of being cramped up inside a tiny dorm,” Answered Alexander as he opened his bag and retrieved a leather-bound notebook, proceeding to show Armie his notes from their shared classes.

Armie nodded slowly exhaling tiredly.

“I’m sorry, I overreacted.” He looked at Alex with apologetic eyes.

“That’s okay, we all have our days.” He mumbled in a soft tone, softer than Armie had ever heard him speak, a complete 180 from the cocky smirk he had on before. Almost as if he knew what had happened. Armie recalled what had happened in the hallway in the morning, how Alexander had looked at him with an indescribable feeling inside his eyes as if he knew why Armie was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Sometimes, I look at you, and I feel like you somehow know everything.” Armie thought out loud staring at his friend. Could he call Alexander, his friend? He supposed he could. He had found himself sharing his thoughts with the British man as much as he did with Henry when he could.

Alexander smiled. A smile which could only contain a hidden meaning behind it.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” He answered, causing Armie to chuckle lightly.

“You keep surprising me.” Alexander blinked his heterochromatic eyes, looking at him in confusion, something he had never seen on Alex.

“How so?”

“You’re nothing like I’ve ever come across. You’re like that character in the movies everyone should hate because they are ‘bad guy’ but you just can’t.” Alexander laughed, his eyes wrinkling at the side, his smile wide, dimples Armie had never noticed, dented his cheeks. He looked so much like Harry like this; he was sure that if Alexander didn’t have heterochromia and a completely different personality from his brother as well as fashion sense, it would be hard for him to tell who is who.

“Good to know that someone favours me over my better half,” Alexander replied, and Armie was one hundred per cent sure he had heard a hint of sadness in Alex’s voice.

“You are as human as he is, Alex,” Armie said truthfully.

“People seem to enjoy forgetting it. So much to the point, I’ve started forgetting it myself.”

Armie swallowed and looked off to the distance, not knowing how to comfort the man seated next to him. He didn’t know if he was supposed to.

“My father was in a car crash last night, he didn’t make it,” Armie confessed, making Alex turn to look at him wide-eyed. The surprise was evident in his features, his full lips were parted in surprise.

“What?”

“I got a phone call from my mother in the morning.” Armie lied squirming around on the iron bench. He looked up briefly at Alexander who seemed to be in deep thought and continued, deciding to tell the truth to him.

“Henry read it online and told me, my mother called me later on.” He mumbled, knowing he didn’t make much sense.

“My father, he was Richard Hammer, my last name is not Adler. It’s Hammer. He was-“

“I know who he was, I’ve read about him,” Alex mumbled as he slowly got over the initial shock.

“My condolences.” He added quickly. Armie nodded, mumbling a soft thank you.

A long awkward silence followed with Alexander being in deep thought, his lower lip was caught between his lips, and he slowly chewed on it as he studied Armie.

“Why did you tell me this? From your tone and the way you said it, I assume the only one who knows are Henry and me.” From the way, Armie looked down at his hands with a frown on his face; Alexander immediately concluded that his assumptions were right indeed.

“Because I know you can keep a secret.” Alex scoffed.

“A secret, huh? That is not just a secret, Armie. You didn’t tell me that you have a crush on someone or that you broke some expensive arse china vase and mother mustn’t find out because she will punish you, so you blame it on the bloody cat. It’s a bloody bomb, Armie, an atomic bomb which is going to destroy the relationship you’ve been so hard trying to build with Timothée.” As if Armie hadn’t already thought about it.

“I know, I know but there is a reason behind all this.” He stiffened under Alexander’s burning gaze, instantly regretting saying anything at all. It was obvious that Alexander would see right through his lie.

“Oh, I’d love to hear it.” Alexander crossed his arms on his chest and leaned his back on the bench, looking at Armie, his jaw set tense.

“I don’t want to be the privileged rich asshole that people either hate or use for their own benefit. I just want to be normal, and I am, because I’ve been trying to stand on my own two feet without the help or the background of my family. Which is also why I changed my last name, if I kept it and somehow someone found out who I really am, it would change everything. I’d be treated differently, not just by the students but by the professors too.” Armie swallowed glancing momentarily up at Alex, hoping and praying that the man believed him.

Alexander didn’t speak for a few short moments of silence, which Armie saw as aeons. He could feel cold sweat starting to gather on the nape of his neck ready to run down his back, and he started thinking if he could possibly make a joke out of the whole situation or that would make things more difficult for him.

“Fair enough. If you want my honest advice, do not tell Timmy the truth under the pressure of the circumstances, it will make things harder for both of you.” Armie silently thanked his lucky stars for convincing Alexander. He breathed out a sigh of relief.

“So you’re not gonna tell on me?” Alexander shook his head; he was a lot of things but a traitor was not one of them.

“Your secret is safe with me Armie Hammer.” Armie let out a laugh upon seeing Alexander’s playful smirk and leaned back on the bench crossing his arms on his chest.

“So, how are things between you and Timmy?” Alexander asked mimicking Armie’s position but turned his head away from him, looking at The Thinker right in front of them.

“We’re fine, we’re supposed to go out for dinner later, but I don’t think I can make it. I’m mentally exhausted from the whole thing.” He looked at Alex.

The British man hummed in understanding and turned back to look at Armie.

“Well, Timmy will probably be hanging out with Haz at our dorm by the time we return, you can get some rest while I see him and tell him that due to our lectures being too long you’re exhausted and it would be a good idea if you two met at your dorm?” Alex offered gently and lowered his gaze down at his hands, which were resting on his lap on top of his messenger bag.

“Would you really do that for me?” Armie asked, straightening his back and attempted to study Alex expression but ended up with nothing. His features were hardened, giving none of his thoughts or feelings away.

Alexander nodded softly and looked up at him with a barely-there smile and icy eyes.

“Yes, of course.”

Armie shook his head and chuckled to himself, rubbing a big palm over his face.

Alexander indeed was something else.

“You know Timmy, and I are in an open relationship. We decided that we want something open so we can experiment with every piece of ourselves and not just stay tied down to open person, we’re both too young to commit to something, and we don’t agree with the whole exclusive boyfriend's thing and toxic jealousy.” Armie slowly spoke as if he was talking to a child even though he knew talking to Alexander was more like talking to a child with extreme intellectual levels.

Armie waited Alexander’s reaction for several seconds, but it seemed like every single emotion had been drained from Alexander’s face. There was nothing, not even a slight twitch of eyebrows or lips or even his fingers.

At last, there was a long exhale which could mean about a million things, and it certainly didn’t help with Armie’s situation.

“That’s good for you,” Alexander said in a monotone voice, looking ahead of him.

Armie was sure Alexander had caught on what he was hinting at but decided to explain things even more.

He placed a gentle hand on Alexander’s shoulder and licked his dry lips, looking at him.

“I won’t mind if-“ Alexander cut him off by abruptly turning to face him and clutched Armie’s arm in his hand.

“Don’t you fucking dare finish this sentence Armie,” He gritted his teeth looking at Armie with a fire burning in his eyes which Armie had never encountered before, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t terrify him.

“W-why?” He stuttered out in confusion.

“Because Timothée does not deserve a sinnerman like me,” Alexander replied harshly, but Armie swore there was hurt inside his voice.

 

 

 

 

-

Harry opened the door of his and Alexander’s dorm greeting Timmy with a warm smile and ushered him to come in. The smaller boy walked in quietly and took off his shoes before getting comfortable on Alexander’s bed, waiting for Harry to finish his phone call.

Alexander wasn’t there making Timmy immediately think he was out with Saoirse. The thought alone left a bitter taste in his mouth and a feeling of jealousy bubble up in his throat.

“I will tell Alexander, and if everything goes well, we will be there by Friday night.” He heard Harry saying on the phone. His heart started hammering in his chest, and his mouth went dry.

Where would they go? Were they leaving? No, they couldn’t possibly leave him. Not right now, he needed them. Harry heard his sharp intake of air and turned to him with worried eyes.  Timmy shook his head, trying to reassure Harry that he was alright.

“Listen, I’ll call you back later, okay? Yes, thank you, bye.” He ended the call throwing his phone on his bed and got down on his knees, taking Timmy’s hands in his.

“I’m fine, you didn’t have to end your call like that,” Timmy mumbled looking down at their intertwined hands. Harry placed a soft kiss on the back of Timmy’s soft hands and smiled up at him.

“It’s alright, darling; it wasn’t something that required my attention, unlike you. What happened? You were shining when you stepped in, why are you blue now?” Harry questioned gently, not taking his eyes away from the boy.

“Where is Alexander?” Timmy looked at the curly haired man in front of him. Harry chuckled.

“What am I not enough for you?” He joked, making Timmy laugh out loud and cradle Harry’s face in his hands, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Of course you are, Haz,” Timmy whispered against his skin and closed his eyes, Harry doing the same as he nuzzled his head in Timmy’s neck and wrapped his arms around Timmy.

“It’s just, Alex, he is something else. He is so good, and he sadly fails to recognise it. It’s like he doesn’t know his worth and it pains me. His heart is too big for his body. He feels too much, and it drives him crazy. That’s why he is always on edge and closes up inside. Because he believes that by repressing his feelings it will make everything better and I bet he wishes he never cared at all, about anything.” Harry pulled back a bit in order to be able to look at Timmy. The boy had his head hanging low, and his fingers played with Harry’s.

Harry, of course, was nothing like his twin, he couldn’t understand what was going through Timmy’s head.

He ran his fingers through the messy curls and pulled them back away from the boy’s face leaving a kiss on his forehead.

“I understand that you deeply care about my brother.” Timmy smiled, tracing Harry’s features with his fingertips, bringing his lower lip between his teeth studying his face carefully.  

He traced the neat dark eyebrows going lower, loving the feeling of Harry’s soft skin under his fingertips. Leaning forward, he pressed a sweet kiss on Harry’s jaw lone and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms tighter around the curly haired boy.

Still to this day, he couldn’t wrap his head around just how identical the two men looked yet how different they were in every other aspect, including their scents and touch as well as taste. Harry smelled sweeter and comforting with a soft vanilla undertone while Alexander smelled like sandalwood and other exotic spices which matched perfectly with his mysterious personality. Harry’s touch was more delicate; his caress felt like the most expensive velvet on Timmy’s skin. Alexander, on the other hand, was sweet, but his touch was more sure, more possessive, gripping, it had purpose, which made Timmy feel small and safe wrapped inside his strong arms.

The two were the perfect combination. Timmy couldn’t and didn’t want to get enough of them.

“I do.” Timmy agreed with a little smile keeping his eyes shut.

“Sometimes, my love and affection for Alex are overpowering all of my emotions; it makes me blind in a way.” Harry nodded, he knew that first hand. He had seen Timothée falling slowly under Alexander spell, becoming a small, soft and pliant thing.

“Does it scare you?” He asked softly, stroking the boy’s back. Harry knew how his brother felt. He knew that Alexander would walk over fire and water if it pleased Timmy, he’d do anything for him because Timmy was the reason he was alive, his reason to be, something which terrified Harry to no end.

Although Alexander loved to play tough, just like Timmy had previously said had the purest heart of them all, and he was breakable. And Harry, he had seen Alexander crumbling, losing his world under his own two feet, losing a part of himself and his sanity and it hadn’t been a pretty sight. Because Alexander channelled all of his anger into his sadness and it burned everything down in its wake, leaving behind nothing but tiny little particles of his broken heart which couldn’t be put back together.

 “Sometimes. Because I find myself comparing other people with him, it happened with Armie too, and I know, it’s obvious that you can’t compare the two because they are different, like fire and ice. Armie is like a warm sunny day when you were a kid, and you had absolutely no responsibilities, he makes me feel warm and free, and I wanna be close to him bask in the warmth he radiates. Alexander, on the other hand, is like lightning. You know that he will strike, but you can’t be sure what the consequences will be, he might leave you untouched and intact, but there’s the possibility he’ll burn you alive, yet no matter what will end up happening, he will leave you breathless because of the power he holds and the way he burns like ice..” Timmy trailed off, looking at Harry. His thoughts were taking over, moving inside his head faster than he could process.

He knew the differences between Armie and Alexander.

He knew that one was his soulmate and the other his lover, but there was a part of him which wanted to blur the line between the two. Just like last night when he had the need to feel every part of Alexander as close to him as possible, he wanted to be consumed by him. He wasn’t sure when this craving had started or what had fired it up, but he was pretty sure it would die down soon. Or at least he hoped so, because if it didn’t, he didn’t know what he was going to do.

Timmy shook his head and sighed, looking down once more.

“It terrifies me actually.” He whispered and hid deeper in Harry’s embrace. Harry just held him not sure what he was supposed to do or say. He had a feeling that something like this would happen.

He was confident that someday, Timmy’s and Alexander’s feeling would get the best of them, and they would open Pandora’s box, which they wouldn’t be able to close. What had started between the two of the previous night was only the beginning of it, and Harry was sure that if it began with jealousy, it wouldn’t end up nicely. Hell, he knew that no matter how it started, it wouldn’t end up nicely anyway. The feelings the two had thrown inside a box and locked away, forgetting where they had put the key were surfacing, forcing the box open which would burst in their faces in the worst way possible.

There was passion which had turned to love which turned to lust which yet had to be acted upon but it were there, and anyone could recognise it since it was plain as a nose. The desire had turned into suspicion, jealousy and anger which had caused Timmy to burst not being able to contain himself and his feelings.

Harry kissed Timmy’s hair softly. Timmy was right; Alexander indeed was like lightning. A powerful one which yet had to release it’s energy. When Alexander would come frank about his feelings, he was sure nobody would be able to stop his storm.

The door opened, disturbing the comfortable silence between the two boys. Timmy was first to pull away from Harry’s embrace and latch himself onto Alexander. Harry turned to face the two, watching as they embraced each other, chewing on his lower lip trying to figure out how to he was supposed to announce to his twin and their little love that they had to go to England for a couple of days. He could only imagine how Alexander would react. He shook his head, not wanting to think about it.

Timmy leaned up on his tiptoes nosing along Alexander’s sharp jawline, as Alexander’s arms were circled around his lithe body, his large hands caressed the small of Timmy’s back.

“Where were you?” Timmy asked, tightening his grip on Alex’s shoulders.

“I was at the Musée Rodin with Armie.” Harry looked at his twin with a questioning look. Alexander pressed a kiss on Timmy’s cheek, stealing a quick glance at Harry.

“What were you two doing together?” Timmy looked up at the green and blue-eyed man, confused.

“Well, you know that I like to study there in the evenings, Armie just happened to be there. I guess he was too tired after the lecture and needed a bit of fresh air to clear his head.” Alexander covered up for Armie like he said he would do. Timmy believed him and smiled softly running his fingers through his short chestnut curls. Harry leaned back on the bed, knowing very that his brother was lying.

“Is he okay now?” Alex nodded smiling softly.

“I’m sure he’ll feel even better when he sees you later on your date.” Timmy beamed, his smile bright and his eyes shining. He laid his head on Alexander’s chest and closed his eyes, feeling content.

“Haz?” He mumbled softly, not pulling away from the taller boy. Harry hummed not tearing his eyes from the hugging pair.

“Come here too, please?” He whispered, closing his eyes once more when he felt another pair of arms wrapping around him, and a kiss was pressed on top of his head.

Timmy felt relaxed and at ease slumping forward on Alexander’s chest savouring the warmth radiating off the two taller boys. He felt selfish again, wishing that another pair of arms around him too.

He bit his lip at the thought.

He would kill to be cuddled between the twins and Armie. They would keep him so warm, so safe, he would feel like a young god being worshipped by his lovers. Their greedy hands would roam all over his small body, caressing him and pleasuring him, their hot mouths would smother him in kisses and bites as well as marks. He’d love nothing more than to carry the marks of his three favourite men on him. He would show them off proudly too, almost like as if werewolves had bitten him and the marks were to show that the three men were his Alphas and they owned him, he was their little bitch to fuck and play with whenever they pleased.

His grip tightened around Alexander’s biceps, and he sucked in a deep breath feeling his cock slowly stirring to life inside his jeans. God, what was he thinking?

He swallowed when he felt a slow kiss being pressed on the side of his throat, Harry’s warm breath tickled his skin.

“What are you thinking about that got you all worked up, petal? You’re shaking,” Timmy’s eyes rolled back on his head, hearing the way Alexander’s voice had lowered an octave making it even deeper and huskier than he had ever heard it, almost like a growl.

The twins glanced at each other with matching smug expressions and smirks on their full rosy lips.

“Nothing.” Timmy breathed out, his voice coming out shaky and he was glad that Alexander’s grip on his hips was like a vice and Harry was standing right behind him or else his weak knees would have given out a while ago.

He cleared his throat and shook his head, slowly clenching and unclenching his fingers around Alexander’s sweater, trying to gain back the use of his body.

“I-I should go find Armie, see how he is.” Timmy looked up at the two identical men who held so much power over him without even knowing it.

The younger twin smiled adoringly down at his petal, knowing how much he cared for Armie even though the two didn’t know each other for too long and was finally coming to peace the fact that he and Armie would end up together one way or another, so to say that Alex was happy would be an understatement.

“You should, petal. Don’t pressure him too much, though, he is exhausted. Like I said, our lecture drained him.” Alex mumbled as he carded his through the boy’s hair — Timmy keening at the soft touch.

“Of course, you know that I’m always good.” He turned to look at Alex beneath his long lashes. Harry’s smirk only widened, he turned the boy around so they could be face to face and leaned down. His plump lips ghosted over Timmy’s, his warm breathed over the, making Timmy shiver again and lean further into Alexander’s chest before cupping Harry’s face and smashing their lips together in a rough kiss. A soft moan escaped Timmy’s lips as Harry pressed his body on Timmy’s smaller one causing Timmy be flush on Alexander who took his time to gently traced Timmy’s soft skin under his sweater.

The combination of the rough mouth on his and the softest almost feather-like touch almost sent him into overdrive, his mind going blank only being able to stay focused on the earth-shattering sensations.

He wanted more. No, he needed more.

His long fingers slowly went to the edge of Harry’s shirt, and he moved to take it off only to get stopped by Harry, who gripped his wrists in his large hands. Harry pulled back from the kiss and ran his tongue along Timmy’s lips.

“You can’t go to see Armie looking so dishevelled, love.” He muttered before pulling Timmy in for another kiss, Timmy quickly kissing him back hungrily. Timmy pulled back and leaned his head back on Alexander’s shoulder.

“Please” He whispered, his eyes clouded with lust for the two identical men.

“Please what?” Harry asked, looking at Timmy in the eyes.

“Kiss me.” He pleaded, nuzzling his nose into Alexander’s throat and left a slow kiss there.  Harry looked up at his twin, Alex doing the same. The oldest of the two nodded, giving his brother permission to kiss the smaller boy.

Alexander quickly indulged, pressing his lips to Timmy’s in a less hurried and less frantic kiss. It was more languid and slow hiding emotions inside it. Timmy felt electrified, as Alexander’s lips moved against his. He let his eyes fall shut, allowing himself to get lost in the electricity that Alexander’s lips and touch shocked his body with.

Alexander’s taste was intoxicating; everything about him was intoxicating. He made Timmy feel drunk and high.

“Enough, brother mine. He isn’t yours to take.” Harry’s stoic voice made them pull apart, Alexander looked like all the air had left his lungs as he took a quick glance at his brother whose eyes had darkened and his long fingers were slightly twitching at his sides.

Timmy looked freshly fucked even though none of the twins had gone that far with him. His hair was a mess, soft cheeks flushed a lovely red shade and lips puffy and slightly bruised from the intense make-out sessions. He was panting, chest moving up and down quickly.

“One more, si’l te plaît,” He looked up at Alex with hazy eyes and thumbed along Alex’s spit slicked lips. Alex softly pecked the long digits and looked at his twin, waiting for him to allow him to taste Timmy for a few more seconds, even though he knew he was taking a big risk.

“Non, mon minou.” Harry took Timmy’s soft hand in his and gently tugged him away from his brother, fixing the boy’s sweater.

As Harry tidied Timmy up, Alexander turned his back to them and closed his eyes, and clenched his jaw.

He hated being denied from the luxury of tasting Timmy’s lips, something that seemed to be the only thing that kept him sane these days. Timmy’s kiss was like a drug, like a cigarette addicting and calming, numbing all of his other senses, silencing the howling voices inside his head and made him feel a little bit more human, closer to heaven and further away from hell where he was trapped in ever since he was a boy.

He turned to look at the two of them, finding Timmy looking a little bit more presentable than before. His clothes were straightened out, and his soft curls looked less messy. The lovely flush was still on his cheeks, though, and his lips were bitten due to Harry’s harsh and biting kisses. Harry placed a piece of gum between Timmy’s lips.

Alex bit down on his lower lip, allowing himself to look at his petal for a few more seconds before moving closer to him and his brother. He gingerly wrapped his arms around the small boy and nuzzled his nose in his hair just behind his little ear. He then placed a timid kiss on Timmy’s ear shell.

Timmy placed his hands on top of Alexander’s and proceded to intertwine their fingers as he looked at Harry who didn’t seem to be too amused with his and Alexander’s interaction, something Timmy found bizarre since Harry had never shown to have a problem before. What had changed now?

Harry smiled at him, a soft smile without his dimples denting in his cheeks, almost as if there was something he was trying to hide. Timmy figured he was indeed hiding something. And he wanted to ask, wanted to know why Harry was trying to separate him from Alexander.

The three of them had chatted before leaving for their classes in the morning and had come to an agreement that things wouldn’t change between them no matter what happened because all three of them needed each other and they didn’t want to break the chain. So Timmy knew that neither Saoirse or Armie was the reason behind Harry’s unusual behaviour.

This was all new to Timmy. And he didn’t like it one bit.

“Why are you doing this?” He looked up at the green-eyed man. Harry furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion and looked down at the smaller boy in his brother’s arms.

“What, baby?”

“Why don’t you allow Alex to kiss me?” He whispered softly, toying with Alexander’s fingers. Harry looked taken aback at Timmy’s question almost as if he wasn’t expecting to be asked such a thing. His expression then softened, and he sighed softly leaning his forehead on Timmy’s.

“I’m trying to protect you, protect us, babe. You don’t want Armie to know that you kiss us, or have not so innocent thoughts about us, do you? You know that people don’t understand our relationship. You can kiss Alex as much as you want, love. Just don’t take it too far, we don’t want you to look so sexy and so flushed ready to cum in your pants just because we kissed you.” He mumbled, looking at Timmy with dark eyes, his tongue coming out to trace Timmy’s soft lips.

Timmy understood where Harry was coming from; he knew that his words made sense, but the agreement he and Armie had made lingered on the back of his mind.

He exhaled through his nose and blushed at Harry’s words, not realising what he must have looked like before. He felt warm and fuzzy as well as electrified by Alexander’s touch and was half hard inside his boxers, but he didn’t know he looked that bad.

“Embrasse moi, Alexandre” He whispered in a soft tone, knowing that Alex wouldn’t be able to deny him. If something could bring Alexander to his knees, that was it. He simply couldn’t resist Timmy when he said his name, when he pronounced it in his French accent, almost as if it was a secret something just the two of them were supposed to know.

Alexander quickly leaned down, pressing his lips on Timmy’s on an even softer kiss than before. Timmy closed his eyes feeling all soft and warm inside, relishing the feel of Alexander’s soft lips on his wishing the older boy would never stop kissing him.

“Je le veux pour toujours.” He whispered on Alexander’s lips looking up at him as they pulled back from their kiss.

Alexander felt his heart falling in his stomach and gazed at his twin, who just shook his head at him and stepped closer to them.

“Don’t look away from me,” Timmy whispered and kissed slowly along Alexander’s jawline. The older boy swallowed knowing that he couldn’t promise Timmy anything like this no matter how much he wanted to.

“Dis moi que nous serons ensemble pour toujours.” Timmy gripped Alexander’s chin between his fingers forcing the older boy to look at him. Alex, instead of answering cupped Timmy’s face in his hands and pressed their lips together in a forceful kiss which was completely out of character for him. Timmy immediately melted and welcomed the harsh kiss, kissing Alexander back in the same way.

“Toujours.” The older boy breathed out when they pulled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo thoughts?  
> Come hang out with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all? I hope you had a lovely week and you're dealing well with the heat wave.  
> Thank you so much for the kudos and the comments on the last chapter, I love interacting with you guys and you know it.  
> This chapter is a little messy but sweet and fluffy with a tiny bit of angst because, hello, it's me we're talking about.  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you think, I always appreciate and love hearing your theories.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Have a lovely weekend  
> I love you and I appreciate every single one of you  
> Bisous x

"You are un fucking believable Armie! You went and told Alexander the truth? Do you know what kind of consequences it will have?” Henry looked at Armie accusingly. Armie rolled his eyes at his friend outburst.

“Do enlighten me please, H.” Henry shook his head.

“You have no idea, do you? Do you realise that he is going to tell Harry or even worse Timmy? It’s no longer a secret if more than two people know it Armie! What made you go and open your heart to _him_ out of all people?” Armie leaned his back on the wall balancing a warm cup of green tea in his hands, trying to ease the headache he was starting to have because of his best friend who unrelentingly paced in the small space of their dorm.

“He won’t tell anyone, especially not Timmy.” He said, causing Henry to scoff and stop pacing to look at him.

“You think so?” Armie shook his head, placing his cup on the nightstand next to his bed and grabbed Henry’s arm pulling him to sit down next to him.

“I know so H, Alex isn’t like that. He wouldn’t do something like this. Just like _he_ didn’t tell us the whole story about how he met Timmy, he won’t tell my secret either. It’s not his to tell, and I trust him. Because he has been nothing but good to me all this time. Even last year, when we weren’t that close, he always helped with things however, he could.”

“What if he does Armie? He loves Timmy and probably wants him for himself; it would be too easy for him to tell the truth to Timmy and have him all to himself.” Armie laughed at Henry’s words.

“Stop making conspiracy theories, H. He won’t say anything, it will turn against him if he does anyway. Do you think that Timmy will be happy if he finds out that Alex knows and didn’t tell him? It would ruin their friendship.” Henry just looked at Armie, not saying a word for several seconds which Armie cherished and used to take a sip of his tea.

“You really did think this through, didn’t you?” Armie chuckled, setting his mug down.

“No, not at all. I’m just sure that Alex won’t betray my trust.”

“I just can’t understand why you trust him so much.” Armie shrugged looking at Herny.

“I just do, there’s something about him that makes me trust him, and besides that, he has proved himself too many times. He is a good friend and a good person something you would see too if you stopped triggering him and getting on his nerves. You could be good friends, maybe even lovers.” Henry laughed out loud but stopped when he realised Armie looked at him, confused as ever. He cleared his throat and leaned back on the wall mimicking Armie’s position.

“Sorry, I thought we were talking rubbish. There is no way _him_ and _I_ will ever be friends, let alone lovers. How could you say that?” Armie laid his head on Henry’s shoulder and placed his hand on his knee, squeezing it gently.

“I’m only teasing, H. I’ve seen you with Haz, and it’s obvious that he makes you happy but he probably is displeased as well that you don’t get along with his twin. They are twins after all, attached to the hip aside from their differences.” He mumbled softly looking at his friend. Henry bit his lip and nodded softly pressing a kiss on top of Armie’s head.

“I mean he never said anything about it, but you might be right. Alex though isn’t like a normal person, he is miles away from that, and it profoundly intimidates me. I don’t know how to describe it. Remember that saying your father used to tell us when we were kids? The one about the ocean? How we should be intimidated by it but respect it at the same time? That’s how I feel about him.” He mumbled softly. Armie nodded and squeezed his knee harder.

The two left it there, not interested in discussing it further or discussing anything else for the matter.

They decided to remain silent for a long while, each one thinking about the events of the day, which had started so smoothly and ended up being one of the worse days in Armie’s life.

Armie turned to his friend who was laying next to him, silently staring up at the ceiling lost in his thoughts.

“How did you feel when you lost your parents?” He asked quietly knowing that even after all these years it was still a sensitive subject for Henry and he didn’t like talking about it.

Henry turned his head facing Armie, his eyes were distant.

“Well, for a very long time I didn’t feel anything, I’m sure right now you don’t either. I was young you know that and well uh, I cried a lot because I thought they didn’t want me anymore and they had decided to leave me, I couldn’t quite understand what death was. I remember having questions like where did they go, is it nice where they are, why can’t I see where they are, can they see me, can they hear me? Sometimes I still wonder if they can see me and hear me.” He chuckled wetly and rubbed his face with his hand, taking a breath in an attempt to gather his thoughts.

“Then, I started blaming God. Someone told me that God takes close to him good people because he needs them. I was so mad at Him because he had taken them away from me, and I wouldn’t get to see them again because of Him. I stopped praying before sleeping, and I stopped believing in him.” He mumbled, turning his head to the side facing the ceiling instead of Armie. After blinking for a couple of times, he turned back to Armie.

“How do you feel?” He asked softly. Armie shrugged and let out a long sigh.

“Honestly? I don’t know. Numb I guess. I know that I’m unhappy, my brain knows it too, but I can’t exactly feel pain. More of a shock actually,” He mumbled looking at Henry.

Henry smiled sadly and nodded, running his hand through Armie’s hair.

“I understand. After the initial shock passes all of the sadness and the grief will hit you out of nowhere.”

“Great,” Henry snorted at Armie’s sarcastic tone and closed his eyes, feeling happy because even right now, his friend was managing to stay sarcastic and witty as usual.

 

There was a soft knock on the door a little while later, and Henry was quickly on his feet to answer. He smiled softly when he saw Timmy’s concerned face.

“Hey there, come in.” He said gently stepping to the side, letting the smaller boy walk in.

“Hey, thank you.” Timmy smiled at him gratefully and walked in the small dorm room, immediately being greeted by the sight of a soft looking Armie sitting up on his bed wearing a big hoodie and a pair of joggers, internally cooing at him.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Henry said, grabbing his shoes. Timmy immediately spun around and disagreed.

“Please don’t, there’s no need to leave. I won’t stay for too long.” Henry just smiled at him and shook his head.

“It’s okay I have plans with Haz, stay as long as you want or till you get bored of his annoying ass. Make yourself at home.” Armie smiled gratefully as his friend who smiled back at him.

“I feel like I’m kicking you out,” Timmy said softly, making Henry laugh.

“Trust me, you’re not. Have fun.” He smiled at Timmy and made his way out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Timmy pouted as he watched the door closing.

“Don’t I get a hello kiss?” Armie’s asked in a teasing tone making Timmy giggle as he toed off his beat-up peach converse and crawled into Armie’s lap. Armie’s arms quickly wrapped around his little body, pulling him as close as possible. Timmy smiled when he felt Armie’s lips and rough stubble brushing ever so gently over his cheek before he kissed him slowly. Their eyes falling shut as the two lazily kissed.

“Hello,” Timmy whispered on Armie’s lips as they pulled back, his finger ran through his Armie’s blonde hair pushing a few strands away from his face.

“Hello, baby,” Armie mumbled softly before pulling Timmy in for another kiss, the latter quickly kissing his lover back without missing a beat. Armie tasted like sweet green tea and lemon something completely different from the taste of the twins.

“You taste sweet, like strawberries,” Armie mumbled as if he read Timmy’s mind. Timmy smiled wide caressing Armie’s face as he looked at him in the eyes, those ocean eyes he found himself falling for slowly. He pressed another soft kiss on Armie’s lips and leaned on him, nuzzling his head in the crook of his neck. Armie happily tightened his arms around the boy and carefully laid them down on the bed and pulled the covers over them.

“Do you mind if we stay in tonight?” He mumbled running his hand up and down Timmy’s back and closed his eyes allowing himself to relax in the warmth of his bed and the sweet scent of Timmy’s body pressed close to him as well as the after taste of strawberries on his lips.

Timmy shook his head, shutting his own eyes, enjoying the warmth radiating from Armie’s build body.

“No, not at all.” He whispered, not wanting to interrupt the comfortable silence and the peace of their moment. Truth is that Timmy would take this any day instead of a date at a restaurant with obnoxious people surrounding them. He prefered being wrapped around in Armie’s arms –anyone’s arms, and being surrounded by their scent wrapped around him like a blanket. He twisted around in Armie’s arms before settling with his head laying on Armie’s hard chest and his arms around his middle.

He bit his lip as he nuzzled his nose in the soft pale blue hoodie Armie was wearing and debated for a few minutes whether he should ask Armie to give it to him. He ended up deciding not to, considering that it was still too early for clothes sharing and lifted his head up to look at Armie, finding him looking peaceful as ever with his eyes closed and breathing steadily.

Timmy smiled, allowing himself to stare at him for a few seconds before moving up on his elbows to brush his fingers over Armie’s face, taking in every little detail. Armie smiled lazily, enjoying the gentle caresses he was receiving. He wrapped his hand around Timmy’s delicate wrist and brought it up to his lips, kissing his knuckles slowly and opened his eyes to look at the beautiful boy. Timmy smiled and leaned forward, replacing his hand with his lips, kissing Armie gently.

“Shall we order something to eat and watch a movie?” Armie asked cupping Timmy’s face in his large hands and used his thumbs to stroke the boy’s sharp cheekbones. Timmy agreed, moving into Armie’s arms again.

“Yes, but in a little while. I wanna lay here in your arms for a bit, if that’s alright with you.” Armie chuckled as he felt his heart warm up at the sight of Timmy curled up in his arms, looking small and delicate.

“More than alright, baby.” He whispered back, kissing Timmy’s forehead.

They laid there for a while, basking in the warmth and love which was blooming slowly between them, healing their scars and filling in the emptiness they felt. All of the doubts Timmy had, flew out of the window and every single one of Armie’s worries about how he would tell Timmy the truth and sound believable got muted. They both realised that all that mattered was that they were together right then and there

Timmy was glad that for once in his life had made the right choice, or at least he hoped he did. He shut his eyes but quickly opened them again when behind his closed lids the image of a pair of stormy mismatched green and blue eyes appeared. He turned his head to the side, nosing the curve of Armie’s neck and breathed in his scent, grounding himself once more. He didn’t want to know what his subconscious was trying to tell him.

After almost falling asleep in each other's arms, Armie decided to call the nearest pizza place and order an Italian pizza for them to share. When the pizza arrived, they ate in silence, sharing a few kisses here and there and wiping the sauce from each other’s lips, sometimes licking it away and then giggling on each other's mouths.

Later on, they settled back on the bed, Timmy resting between Armie’s spread legs with his head on his chest and Armie’s laptop resting on top of a book on Timmy’s lap. As the two scrolled through the movies on the application Armie had on his laptop, the older boy caught sight of The Dreamers and remembered how the two had walked around the Louvre a few weeks ago and yet it seemed like a lifetime away.

He let out a chuckle recalling the stares they received while running through the halls and the broad smile on Timmy’s lips as he spun him around when they had reached the entrance they had come in from, how he had wanted to kiss Timmy so bad but he couldn’t.

Timmy tilted his head towards Armie when he heard the soft joyous sound escaping the man’s lips, a fond smile on his own lips.

“What is it?”

“I just saw The Dreamers, and I remembered us running around the Louvre,” Armie answered with a smile. Timmy looked down shyly before admitting something he had wished would have happened that day.

“I wanted to kiss you so badly when you took me in your arms,” He shyly admitted, looking up at Armie through his lashes. Armie’s smile widened, and his heart started beating faster inside his chest.

“You did?” Armie asked softly.

“I did,” Timmy replied in the same soft tone Armie had spoken to him.

“We should go again, I’ll kiss you in front of every art piece this time,” Timmy giggled softly at his words.

“They are too many.”

“It doesn’t matter, I have to make up for that day.” Armie leaned forward, looking at Timmy in the eyes.

“Actually, I think I’m gonna start now.” He mumbled before pressing a slow kiss on Timmy’s sweet lips. He felt Timmy smiling in their kiss and couldn’t help but smile back, which caused them to burst in a fit of joyous giggles.

After sharing a few more kisses between laughter, the two settled back on the bed, curled up on each other's side and set on watching the movie which reminded each of them something different.

While Armie remembered the two of them at the Louvre, Timmy thought about the twins.

He remembered them sharing bottles of wine in front of the fireplace, sleeping tangled together and bathing each other while they exchanged kisses.

He glanced at Armie next to him, and the only thing that came to mind was, what the hell was he doing with Armie?

 

-

 

The following morning Timmy woke up feeling a weight on top of his little body, it was heavy but thankfully not enough to crush him. He stirred a bit and felt something silky tickling his nose. A soft sleepy smile appeared when the arms which were wrapped around him suddenly tightened and a sweet kiss was pressed in his messy curls. Timmy kissed softly Armie’s naked chest which was full of display for him, having taken off his hoodie in the first half of the movie allowing Timmy to play with the short golden hair peppering his skin. Their fronts were pressed against each other and their legs tangled together, muscly around lean.

Armie had woken up a while ago, feeling a warmth inside his chest at the reminders of last night but it quickly got replaced with pure adoration and awe when he realised that his dreamy state was far from over. He felt like crying from happiness when he saw Timmy’s peaceful sleeping face nuzzled against his chest, his delicate arms draped over his shoulders. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he was sure that the last thing he had seen before his body gave in to the tiredness of the day was Timmy.

Seeing Timmy first thing when he opened his eyes made him realise that it was excactly what he had been waiting for all of his life, and suddenly, it all made sense.

The past lovers and hookups had nothing on Timmy, because nothing could ever compare or even come close to the feeling of waking up with the love of your life wrapped around in your arms. It wasn’t just fulfiling; it was as if he finally had returned home, to where he belonged. He felt like Odysseus returning to Ithaca where he belonged after his Odyssey through the seven seas and his legendary fights with and adventures with pretty princesses, witches and creatures of foreign lands and seas.

He felt Timmy move even closer to him than he thought was possible and smiled wider when a kiss was placed on his chest. In return, he kissed the boy’s soft curls.

“Good morning, baby,” Armie mumbled, his voice sounding huskier than usual still laced with sleep. Timmy smiled and almost shivered at the deep rumbly sound coming from Armie.

“Mm bonjour,” Timmy whispered, his soft voice cracking at the end, the delicate French accent caressing Armie’s ear and making him wish to hear it every morning when he wakes up.

“Did you sleep well? I hope I didn’t crush you.” Armie mumbled softly as the smaller boy looked up at him delicately blinking the sleep away from his hazel eyes, his long lashes caressing his cheeks softly.

“Better than I had in a while and no, you didn’t crush me. How did you sleep?” He cupped Armie’s face in his hand, stroking his cheek with his hand making the man smile at him and kiss the inside of his palm.

“Like a baby,” Timmy smiled up to him dreamily before shutting his eyes once more and curling closer to Armie not being able to quite grasp the fact he had slept wrapped around in his big arms.

“I never thought I would wake up one day and you’d have your arms around me and I’d feel like I’m where I belong,” Timmy admitted, gently kissing Armie’s shoulder.

“I wished for it to happen every day. When I woke up in the morning I was expecting to find you there, you know? Only to find out you’ve fled and all was left of you was the tulip.” Armie looked down at the smaller boy who wrapped his fingers around the pendant and placed a kiss on it.

“I would have given you hell if I had stayed.” He heard Armie chuckle softly at that and nod.

“I can only imagine, I would have taken care of you though,” Armie mumbled cradling Timmy closer to him, the smaller boy felt his heart break at that. He swallowed and looked up at Armie.

“You have no idea how much I cried.” He said instantly regretting it seeing Armie’s face fall slightly with a knowing look.

“I was so rough with you, I kept thinking about it for days, and I so deeply regretted it. I didn’t know what I was going to do if I ever saw you again. I thought that you would probably hate me for it.” The older boy sighed, rubbing his face in frustration.

“I wanted to hate you, but I also knew it wasn’t your fault. I could have said that you were hurting me. Instead, I stayed quiet and let you hurt me, because, in the end, I wanted you to hurt me, remind me that what I was doing wrong.” Timmy mumbled, turning his head away from Armie and chewed on his lower lip.

Armie swallowed at the revelation and looked down at the small boy who had curled away from his arms. He breathed in and nodded slowly remembering Alexander’s words once more.

“Still, it’s all my fault. I should have been more careful. I promise I will be next time.” He said, hoping to get the things back to normal and hid his face in Timmy’s neck, leaving a soft kiss on his skin.

“How you would have taken care of me?” Timmy whispered, gripping Armie’s shoulder in his hand. Armie replied without missing a bit.

By the time you would have woken up I would have breakfast ready for you. I’d dress you up in one of my shirts and give you painkillers if the pain was that bad, and then I’d wash you carefully and put lotion everywhere you were hurting. Dress you up in my shirt again and hold you, spend the day apologising to you and making it up to you,” He sincerely said stroking Timmy’s hair. Timmy sighed and looked up at his lover.

“I’m sorry I left like a thief, I just, I couldn’t deal with my feelings. I was so overwhelmed and so confused and disappointed with myself I just couldn’t-“

“Hey baby, it’s okay, relax, take a breath for me,” Armie hushed Timmy and pressed a soft kiss on his parted lips, attempting to calm Timmy down who was on the verge of a panic attack. His emotions were getting the best of him as they seemed to do a lot these past few days not to even mention months if Timmy wanted to be honest.

“I understand your reasons and yes I was disappointed and hurt, but I knew you had your rights to do so even though I didn’t quite know them back then. And also when Henry was trying to normalise the whole thing for me, calling it a simple one night stand, I somehow felt as if it was far more than that and I got it right and look at us now Timmy. We’re in bed together, and we’re falling in love, we’re in love although we can’t admit it quite yet. Like I’ve said the other day, our meeting was miraculous and we shouldn’t forget it, we should make peace with the circumstances even though they weren’t ideal and I realise that now. But we’ve tried so hard to make things right between us so let’s not ruin it because we feel guilty about the things we both did because let’s face it. We can’t change what happened, no matter how much we want to. We should focus on us, on what we have now and on our future together because these are the things that matter, baby. We found each other, you found me, and I found you.” Timmy felt himself breathing easier while listening to Armie talking. He knew that Armie was right and he meant every word he had just said, the look of sincerity in his eyes proved it.

He nodded quickly with a soft chuckle.

“Of course, you’re right I’m so sorry I just-“ Armie cut him off again this time with a soft press of his fingers on his lips.

“Stop apologising, baby,” Timmy nodded again and went to apologise again for rambling, but before he could get the words out, Armie took the matters in his hands and pressed their lips together.

“How about more kissing and less talking, huh?” Timmy chose to kiss Armie again instead of verbally agreeing with him. Armie seemed to like the idea better as he hummed appreciatively on Timmy’s soft lips. They shared slow and lazy kisses for a while as well as a few still sleepy smiles in between.

Timmy realised that the laptop was no longer resting on his lap, and Henry was still nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Henry?” He asked, looking up at his lover who had his eyes closed once more.

“Went to the gym. He came over last night and slept here if that’s what you’re worried about. Took the laptop off us and covered us with the blanket like the good mother hen he is.” Timmy giggled and shook his head, soft curls tickled Armie’s neck where his head was tucked in.

“I like him.” Armie hummed.

“He likes you too, even though he wasn’t too fond of you at first. He thought you were some sort of a witch who casted a spell over me and changed me overnight because all I did was talk about you and I started caring. Something I never did up to that moment.” Armie trailed off regrettably.

“How was your life before that night?” Timmy propped himself up on one elbow wanting to be able to look at Armie better. Armie sighed softly, turning his head to look at Timmy. He brought a hand up and gently caressed his cheek as gently as he could manage.

“I was a bad person, baby.” He mumbled, his tone and eyes sad.

“You’ve been good to me,” Timmy said softly kissing the inside of Armie’s palm before placing his smaller hand on top of Armie’s.

“I know I have, but you have to understand that somehow our night together, the morning when I woke up to an empty bed and sheets smelling like us, a small delicate chain with a tulip hanging from it made me see things in such a different light. I used to have nightstands when I was back in New York, not one or two but a lot of them. And I treated them like shit. I treated people so badly because I was so caught up into thinking that I was the king of the world.” Timmy nodded listening to his lover carefully and took both of Armie’s hands in his kissing them softly.

“I don’t know if you’re king of the world, but you for sure are king of our little Wonderland and that’s all that matters.” Armie smiled brightly at Timmy’s words, his cheeks turning a soft red colour. He felt shy and thankful at the same time, more than happy for Timmy taking what he had said so nicely.

“Look, love, I understand that you think that maybe what you did back then was bad and perhaps it was but, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of. Including me, obviously. And it’s okay, well no it’s not always okay, but there are times when it’s understandable because of the circumstances we’re put under. I’m sure there are reasons why you acted the way you did, and you believed whatever you believed. And no, tell Henry that I’m not a witch, I didn’t change you, I just triggered something inside you which hadn’t been triggered before because just like you mistreated people, they did the same to you. Looking back at things you did and not liking them, cringing with yourself and questioning yourself why the hell you did, said and believed in those things, is called growth Armie. And that’s something we all do; we grow, we evolve to become better people.” Timmy continued holding Armie’s hands tighter. Armie took a deep breath looking at Timmy with an emotion Timmy couldn’t quite point out.

Armie exhaled slowly and leaned up cupping Timmys face in his hands and pressed his forehead against Timmy’s.

“You’re incredible.” Timmy chuckled softly, pressing his lips on Armie’s forehead, letting them linger there for a few seconds.

“I’m not, I’ve just seen a lot of things, and I understand that sometimes, even when we have the best intentions, we end up acting out wrong.” Armie nodded, agreeing with everything Timmy had just told him. He never knew how much he needed to hear those words coming out of someone’s mouth. He never knew how much he needed to be understood and probably forgiven for the way he had acted.

He breathed in deeply.

“My last name isn’t Adler,” He looked away from Timmy, feeling too afraid to witness the betrayal and hurt in Timmy’s hazel eyes.

“I know,” Timmy softly said, looking at Armie. He ran his fingers through Armie’s blonde hair and gently turned his face towards his making his lover look at him in the eyes. Armie’s ocean blues were wide with surprise and confusion as well as fear. He could not quite understand how Timmy had found out the truth.

He felt absolutely mortified.

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing with the movement.

“H-How, did you figure it out?” He asked in a small voice, rummaging through his mind, trying to remember if he ever did or said something out loud that gave him away but came up with nothing. There was only one possibility, something he would have never thought about if Henry hadn’t brought it up last night. He didn’t want to believe that Alexander had said anything but all facts pointed at him.

“From the way you say it, you don’t say it effortlessly just like your name. There’s always a small change in your tone. It’s more harsh and final. And when we had gone to Tom Ford when the lady went to say your name you immediately felt the need to correct her, even though she had just read it on your receipt of the bank account. And you didn’t just correct her, it was almost like a demand.” Armie could breathe a little easier knowing that his friend hadn’t betrayed his trust but cursed at himself for being so oblivious to how bad he had been handling things for so long.

“I haven’t been that good at being subtle, have I?” Timmy shook his head, smiling softly.

No, you’re not like him, the devil on Timmy’s shoulder giggled in his ear and tugged at one of his curls.

“No, but I know that you have a reason to do so and I respect it, and I’m willing to wait till you feel comfortable enough to come clean about everything.”

“Thank you,” Armie whispered, not knowing how else he could express his gratitude to the smaller boy who seemed to understand him better than anyone.

Timmy brought him in his arms, allowing Armie to lay with his head on Timmy’s chest, his arms wrapped around Timmy’s small waist. Timmy brought the covers over them before dropping a kiss on top of Armie’s head and closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth and peace he felt.

The door opened, and a very flustered Henry walked in, holding a black backpack to his chest. He was panting, chest moving up and down quickly as if he had been running for miles. He turned his head to the side, eyes catching sight of the two young lovers curled together in bed looking at him with confused stares.

“What the hell happened to you?” Armie questioned sitting up on the bed next to Timmy, looking at his friend.

Henry set his bag down by the foot of the bed and sat on the edge of his bed, a small smile playing on his lips.

Armie was able to look at him better now. He could see the flush on Henry’s cheeks and neck, as well as the glimmer in his blue eyes. He raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for the raven-haired man’s answer.

“I-I, well, I bumped onto Harry at the gym,” Henry said, feeling too embarrassed, not daring to meet Armie’s eyes.

Armie felt himself smirking and narrowed his eyebrows.

“Did you just bump into him or did something else happen too? Because you can’t possibly be this red just by seeing him” He questioned cheekily causing Herny’s already red cheeks to burn even further. A soft giggle escaped Timmy’s lips as Henry groaned.

“We kind of kissed?” Armie snorted making Timmy lightly slap his chest.

“Kind of?”

“It was more than kissing. We made out and, he like pinned me to the wall and yeah..” Henry trailed off, staring down at his fingers, delicately toying with them.

Armie shook his head with a laugh, feeling happy for Henry finally getting out of his shell and enjoying things he had denied himself for so long.

“He was so early at the gym, huh?” Timmy questioned. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he was worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

“Yeah, why?”

“What was he like?” Timmy pressed in further. Armie looked at him, trying to understand what was happening. Henry pursed his lips and stayed quiet for a second before answering.

“He was a little weird, almost looked like Alexander had possessed him. His eyes were dark, but a very light green and almost looked like crystals, I don’t know how to explain it. And the way he walked towards me, he looked like a tiger cornering his prey, his movements were slow but very sure and almost possessive.” Timmy’s frown deepened something Armie immediately noticed.

“Something wrong, baby?” He placed a careful hand on his lover's shoulder. Timmy nodded slowly leaning on Armie’s side.

“Yeah, too many wrong things.” He looked up at him, the frown refusing to leave his soft features. Armie pressed a kiss between his eyebrows, trying to coax Timmy back to being calm.

“I noticed that too,” Henry muttered.

“I don’t see anything wrong with his behaviour, he probably wanted to let off some steam and finally take his claim on Henry.” Timmy disagreed with his lover.

“No, Harry rarely acts like this. Something must have happened between him and Alex.” Timmy knew that Harry’s behaviour changed completely when he and Alex got into fights, serious ones not the minor and stupid ones over the remote or when Harry steals Alexander’s fountain pens, something that happened quite often.

“You think it’s bad?” Armie asked softly, tracing Timmy’s cheek with his index finger. The smaller boy nodded, looking up at him.

“Yes, they don’t fight often, but when they do all hell let’s loose,” The blue-eyed boys nodded simultaneously in understanding.

“You should go check on them.” Timmy turned to Henry.

“Is Harry back?” Henry shook his head.

“No, I don’t think so. He was coming in when I was leaving.” Timmy nodded before getting off the bed.

“I’ll go see how Alex is. He’s probably pacing around their dorm like a caged tiger. He can’t stand it when they fight, gets more miserable than usual.” He mumbled as he slipped on his shoes, with the laces still intact from last night.

“Yeah, you should do that while I question Henry further,” Henry glared at his friend while Timmy snorted unattractively, but Armie seemed to love the sound. He moved to the edge of the bed, his long legs touching the floor. Timmy parted them, moving between them and pressed his lips on Armie’s on a sweet kiss.

“Lunch later?” Timmy nodded with a smile, kissing his lover again. Armie kissed him back happily, enjoying a last few joyous moments.

“I’d love that,” Timmy mumbled softly caressing Armie’s cheek.

“It’s a date then. Would you like to come over again when you finish or meet outside?”

“I want to pass from my dorm after to change and hang out with Troye for a bit so, I guess I’ll come over, or I’ll ring you when I’m ready.” Armie agreed with that and leaned in capturing in yet another kiss Timmy’s lips, not being able to get enough of Timmy’s sweet mouth.

“I’m going now,”  Timmy smiled at Armie and grabbed his phone from the night table where it was laying forgotten.

“Later, baby,” Armie said laying back on his bed with a smile, watching as his lover and his best friend exchanged smiles and soft goodbyes, a few giggles escaped Timmy’s lips on his way out.

God only knows what the little minx is thinking about, Armie thought, closing his eyes.

He heard shuffling from Henry’s side and things being put to the floor. Armie opened his eyes and turned his head to look at his raven-haired friend who was undressing, with his back to Armie. He leaned up on his elbows, blue eyes raking down the expanse of Herny’s toned back. He let out a chuckle when he caught sight of fingertips on Henry’s side, ones he knew weren’t there before he left.

“He has a tight grip, huh? Impossible to tell with his soft looks.” Henry turned to look at his friend. He sat back down on the edge of his bed, holding his white t-shirt in his hands, thumbing at the fabric. He shook his head, looking up at Armie with his dark eyebrows pulled close together and an expression filled with uncertainty and worry.

“It’s not just that. There was something dark in Harry’s eyes. Something I’ve never seen before, especially on Harry. It was terrifying, Armie. You’ve seen how Alexander’s eyes look empty, but something draws you to them. Harry’s eyes though, it felt as if I was looking into a black hole. There was no depth, nothing to get lost in, just darkness. Pure darkness.” His voice shook, and a shiver went down his spine just by recalling the way Harry had looked at him. He had felt as if he was slowly being burned alive from inside.

Armie just looked at him, not knowing what to say. Harry had never shown signs of anything along the lines of darkness. He was always happy with a warm, welcoming smile, occasionally a hug.  Harry was loud and very easygoing, timid when he talked about his music, something that changed when he sang, he turned into a beautiful and proud peacock.

It simply didn’t match with the Harry, Henry was describing, which was why Armie found it hard to believe his friend.

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Harry?” Armie asked. Henry scoffed but nodded nevertheless.

“Yes, Armie, of course, I’m sure. I know what I saw, and I know that you can’t believe me just yet, but I promise you, there’s something wrong with the twins.” Henry folded his shirt and placed it on the bed next to him, crossing his arms on his chest.

Armie nodded wordlessly.

Henry sighed and placed his head in his hands, breathing in deeply.

“I think that we’ve been looking at the twins the wrong way all this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo thoughts? Any theories about the twins?  
> Come hang out with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Salut cheries! How are you all?   
> Thank you so much for the comments on the last chapter, I read all of them even if I didn't answer I'll try my best to answer today or maybe tomorrow we'll see how it will work out.  
> This chapter is a small and kind bittersweet one and I really like it!  
> Leave me a comment down below telling what your thoughts are, kudos are always very appreciated.  
> Thank you so much for reading my fic, I love you and I appreciate every single one of you!  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next week!

“I didn’t know you smoke,” Timmy said softly from his place on Alexander’s bed, watching as the older boy leaned on the open window, a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. Alex looked at him from under his long dark lashes, flashing a soft smile and raising an eyebrow at Timmy.

“Only when I need to get my mind off things,” He replied in an equally soft tone as Timmy had, not wanting to disturb the silence. He turned his back to Timmy, leaning with his elbows on the windowsill, his hands hanging off, the fingers of the hand which wasn’t holding the cigarette were dancing slowly on the open space, feeling the nippy October air slipping between them.

Timmy got up and walked towards the tall man, running his lips slowly on the black ink painted on Alexander’s naked and cold back. He placed a slow hot kiss between his shoulder blades and closed his eyes.

“Talk to me instead of smoking, please.” He whispered, trailing his fingers down Alexander’s strong arms. He felt him shiver under his touch, and a soft smile was brought upon his lips. Alexander then moved, and Timmy couldn’t see what he was doing due to Alexander’s broad shoulder’s hiding his actions from Timmy. The older boy stilled, his body going rigid for several seconds before he exhaled and relaxed.

“What did you do?” Timmy whispered.

“Nothing to worry about, my love.” Alex huskily answered before going back to being quiet, just staring outside of the window.

Timmy nodded softly, even though Alex couldn’t see him. He continued exploring Alexander’s back with his fingertips, tracing carefully each inked feather that formed the wings on Alexander’s toned back. The man’s muscles jumped and moved under Timmy’s careful touch, and all the hazel-eyed beauty wanted to do was feel them under his lips, kiss them and trace them with his tongue. He indulged into his craving and pressed his warm lips back on Alexander’s skin, leaving hot kisses on the cold skin.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked softly, part of him wishing that Timmy would never stop his sweet little ministrations while the other half screamed at him to get away.

“I’m keeping you warm,” Timmy whispered so quietly that Alex would have missed it if it wasn’t completely silent inside the dorm.

Alex closed his eyes, feeling Timmy’s arms snaking around his waist, trailing slowly lower, tracing the scar on his side which made the older boy grit his teeth and set his jaw tight. Timmy’s warm hands finally came to rest just above the thick band of his joggers, his mischievous fingers dipping under it every few seconds.

 He sucked in a deep breath placing his hands on top of Timmy’s, lacing their fingers together while Timmy’s warm mouth continued its assault moving from his back upwards towards his neck, where Timmy grounded his teeth on Alex’s skin.

“Baby,” Alex mumbled tilting his head to the side, giving to the little menace more space to continue his nibbling.

“What?” Timmy breathed out, his tongue coming out to trace along the collum of Alexander’s neck. Alex gripped his fingers tighter in his hands, knowing that he had to stop Timmy soon before things got out of hand and he would have to face his twin’s rage again if he found out- he would find out- what had gone on between the two of them.

“You have to stop,” He said, holding tightly to what was left over of his self-restraint.

“What if I don’t want to stop, Alexandre?” Timmy purred his name slowly in his ear, the slurred r igniting a fire in the pit of Alexander’s stomach which he knew it wouldn’t be put out easily.

Alexander turned around, his hands immediately grabbing Timmy’s frail hips and pressed their fronts flush together, his different coloured eyes were clouded with lust. He slowly walked them backwards, moving closer to his bed maintaining eye-contact with Timmy whose lower lip was between his teeth, eyes twinkling with want and hope that he would finally get what he had been craving all along. His hands made themselves at home on the nape of Alexander’s neck, his fingers tangling in the baby curls there as his body was lifted up and laid on the bed. He wrapped his legs around the man’s hips, bringing Alex down with him.

Alex stared at Timmy’s face, taking in every little detail which made the boy he loved more than life, himself. He stared at the teeth marks on his lower lip, the tiny little moles on his flushed pink cheeks, the one just above his lips, the tiny freckles on the bridge of his nose.

He knew Timmy’s face, he had memorised it long, long ago, he could point out every detail with his eyes closed. And for years he had been happy with it, he didn’t need more because he believed he had everything he needed in his life. He was able to hold and kiss the boy just like a lover would but lately he felt like he needed more. He felt starved, each time they kissed, he needed more. He was getting greedy, and he didn’t know what to do. He knew that it wouldn’t end well. Timmy didn’t deserve the pain Alex would bring along if things changed between them if they became one and it terrified him.

Timmy brought his hand up to Alexander’s face and cupped his face, using his thumb to caress his cheek as he guided Alex’s face closer to his, craving the man’s taste which he had missed so much on his lips.

He brushed their lips together, hazel eyes falling shut while his lips lifted up in a smile and parted slowly ready to welcome the softness of Alexander’s mouth on his. But it never came.

Instead, Alexander pulled back and stepped away from the bed and Timmy, leaving the boy look up at him, making a confused and hurt by the rejection noise.

He watched Alexander as he breathed heavily through his parted lips, his hands were in tight fists by his sides, knuckles almost turned white.

Timmy stood up and carefully approached Alexander. He placed his hands on the man’s muscular chest, feeling his heart racing underneath his warm palms.

“Alex,” Timmy whispered, making Alexander flinch and pull away from the smaller boy as if he had been burned.

“Alex, baby, what’s wrong?” Timmy tried again moving closer to the man, feeling like he was being stabbed by a thousand daggers. Fear was taking over his body due to the man’s peculiar behaviour, and he couldn’t understand why. What had happened? Did it have to do with Harry? Was it something he had done or said? He racked through his brain trying to recall if he had spoken out of line, because he had the tendency to do it.

Alexander cupped Timmy’s soft face in his hands and leaned forward, sealing their lips together in a sweet kiss, their eyes simultaneity closing. Timmy brought his hands back up to Alex’s neck and let them rest there, kissing the older boy back, feeling as if he was able to breathe again.

The older boy lifted up in his arms the hazel-eyed beauty, and gently laid them on the bed, moving to hover over Timmy, holding himself up by his arms, careful not to crush the delicate boy beneath him.

Timmy smiled on Alexander’s lips. He moved a careful hand from the man’s neck to his cheek holding it inside his palm, as the two laid there, just breathing into each other’s mouths, sharing breaths, making Timmy feel like he was on top of the world, more than happy to be able to breathe the same air with a man like Alexander. The confusion he felt a second ago lifted off his shoulders. He decided he would question the older boy later.

Alexander laid next to Timmy, the smaller boy automatically moved closer to him just like a moth drawn to a flame. Timmy pressed a kiss on Alexander’s chest and chuckled softly at the truth behind the sentence. Because Alexander indeed was a flame. But then again, he wasn’t just a flame; he was a wildfire, a deathly one and Timmy was a stupid little moth. A small thing in need of warmth who risked getting burned just to be close to the person he loved.

 After a few silent moments, he opened his eyes looking up at Alex, feeling like he had to memorise his handsome face again. The sight he was greeted with was far more than rewarding.

 Alex’s eyes were shut, lost in the peaceful silence inside his head, and breathtaking as usual. His lashes were delicately resting on top of his cheeks, two light sunspots which Timmy adored to no end were imprinted on the bridge of his nose, his left brow which was a little bit more sparse than his right. Timmy smiled fondly and run his thumb over the mole near the man’s lower lip tracing carefully tracing it, before leaning forward to kiss his soft full lips.

The older boy sighed happily on Timmy’s lips keeping his eyes shut and pulled Timmy closer to him by his waist. Timmy placed his hands on Alexander’s muscular chest, soft fingers slowly trailing up and down his skin in a feather-like way.

As much as Timmy wanted to know what happened between the twins, he decided that right then and there nothing else mattered except the taste of Alexander’s mouth on his. He shut down the nagging little voice inside his head which yelled at him to think about what he was doing and continued kissing the tall, dark-haired British man.

Deep inside he knew that later on his mind and heart would give him hell for what he was doing, but he didn’t want to think about it, loving the way his skin burned and shook with electricity from Alexander’s touch.

They pulled back to breathe but stayed close, pressed against each other in a mess of tangled limbs and breaths. Alex leaned his forehead on Timmy’s breathing a little bit faster through his nose while his large warm hands caressed Timmy’s waist under his oversized hoodie. It was Timmy’s turn to close his eyes to allow Alex to stare at him lovingly something which never ceased to warm up Timmy’s heart and cheeks.

At that moment, Alexander wanted nothing more than to be able to freeze time and stay there forever, inside the arms of the boy who held his fragile little heart in his clutches. He wished he could open a portal into some parallel universe where he and Timmy would be together, unbroken and unharmed by life, where Alex wouldn’t need to hide so many things from him, and Timmy would love him the way he loved Timmy.

He asked too much, and he knew that. But even a sinnerman like him could dream, right?

“While I was at Armie’s, I saw Henry. He saw Haz at the gym, said that Harry was furious about something.” Timmy softly said, breaking the silence.  Alex chuckled and closed his eyes, shaking his head, silently, cursing himself for thinking that God was trying to help him. He breathed in deeply getting a grip of his emotions, ready to face the inevitable.

“We had an argument, it was nasty.” He answered brushing Timmy’s hair with his fingers. Timmy looked at him with wide worried eyes and leaned up cupping Alex’s face carefully, studying it for a few seconds making sure he hadn’t missed any kind of bruise or redness on his handsome features, before turning his attention to his toned body.

“Darling, I’m fine.” Alex smiled softly at the smaller boy’s concern for him, his heart ready to burst from the love for his hazel-eyed love. He raised his left arm and took Timmy’s small hands in his bringing it to his lips and kissed them softly.

“Harry would never hurt me, baby.” He reassured him. His words fell on deaf ears though when Timmy’s eyes caught sight of the small burn on the inside of the man’s wrist, just a couple of inches away from his very prominent veins.

“What’s this, then?” He whispered and crawled on Alexander's lap, making himself comfortable there and took his hand in both of his and brought it close to his face inspecting it. Alex chewed on his lip, watching Timmy’s careful movements.

“I did it to myself, put out my cigarette on my skin.” He mumbled, avoiding Timmy’s intense gaze. Suddenly Timmy was entirely pressed against him, draped over his body like a tiny warm and fluffy blanket with delicate dark wool curls. Timmy held him in a tight embrace, his soft lips were pressed on the skin of Alexander’s neck.

“Please, don’t do it again. You don’t deserve the pain.” Alex breathed out through his nose at Timmy’s softly whispered words. He momentarily chose to ignore the sweet words, entirely knowing that they were lies, even though he knew Timmy wasn’t aware of it.

“Harry and I will have to go back to England for a couple of days,” Alexander said regretfully even though he couldn’t do anything to avoid it, nor he was the one who initiated their trip.

Timmy looked at him, his breathtaking hazel eyes were wide once more, staring at Alex in dread this time, his body going rigid in Alexander’s arms, he felt like a tidal wave had hit him. He was breathless, his lower lip quivering, while his hands grabbed at Alexander’s shoulders in a vice grip.

Alex quickly reached for him, moving his hands from the tiny waist to his face. His thumbs caressed his cheeks, and his lips pressed themselves to Timmy’s soft once in a reassuring and calming kiss.

“No, no, no,” Timmy whispered over and over on Alexander’s lips, his body trembled against Alex’s, his nails digging in his shoulders.

“My love, look at me, breath.” Alexander tiltled Timmy’s chin up to him, their eyes meeting once more. Timmy let out a long breath and pressed himself tighter on Alexander, hiding his head in the crook of dark haired man’s neck, breathing in his scent.

Alex closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tighter around the small boy. His own heart ached as well, possibly more than Timmy’s. He didn’t know how he would pull through without seeing him those days. He had a bad feeling about the trip, and if his intuition were correct which usually was, things between him and Timmy would have to change drastically, and he would probably end up doing things he didn't want to.

Was he ready for it? Could he possibly go against his morals and everything he was taught if things got out of hand? He didn’t know, and he didn’t like not knowing, being unsure of what would happen. He was so used to everything being so well calculated that the only thing he had to do was get through it, but now it seemed like he would end up having to make a choice.

“It will only be for a couple of days, precious.” He whispered, trying to assure his love but mostly himself.

“Why you’re going?” Timmy whispered in a broken tone, his voice husky and small, Alex barely heard him. He pressed a kiss on the mess of dark curls on top of Timmy’s head, inhaling the sweet scent, taking a few seconds to find a suitable answer.

“Our mother wants to see us, she said it has to do with our father,” He lied through his teeth once more, shutting his eyes as tight as he could, falling back to loathing himself all over again.

“Is this why you two fought?” Timmy sniffled, hiding his head deeper in Alex’s neck. The older boy caressed Timmy’s back and pressed him even closer to him. Alex nodded even though Timmy couldn’t see him.

“Yes. I do not want to leave you.” He whispered, shutting his eyes and bit hard down on his lower lip, in an attempt to keep himself from tearing up. His plan, of course, went to hell as he felt tears gathering in his eyes, like clouds just before the storm and Alex chuckled bitterly at the cruel irony.

“I don’t want you to go either,” Timmy whispered, placing his palms on Alex’s warm chest and carefully lifted himself up to look the man’s eyes. Alex closed the distance between them and pressed his lips on Timmy’s in a kiss where he tried to show Timmy everything he felt from love to anger to sadness and regret. It was his only way to make Timmy understand, and he really hoped the younger boy understood what he wanted to say because he was unable to express what he felt with words.

A sob bubbled up inside Timmy’s throat, his eyes going glassy. Alexander laid the smaller boy on the bed and got up, opening Harry’s drawer where Alex knew his twin kept a tub of body cream. After taking it out, he moved back to the bed kneeling above Timmy’s lithe body.

He carefully pulled the boy’s sweater off him exposing his thin, nude body to Alex. Timmy shivered from the cold wind getting in from the opened window and moved to shield and cover his body with his hands. The older boy quickly noticed Timmy’s intentions and grabbed his thin wrists in his large hand.

“I’ll keep you warm, petal.” He whispered softly leaning down to press his lips on the pulse points on both of his wrists.

“You’ll do anything for me, right?” Timmy croaked out, looking at the older boy with red-rimmed eyes full of tears ready to be shed. Alex paused to look at him.

“Anything.” He quickly said without missing a beat.

“Don’t leave me then.” Timmy’s broken tone was enough to tear Alexander’s heart apart. He lowered his head and gaze, clenching his jaw a couple of times before leaning down and leaving gentle open-mouthed kisses down Timmy’s chest before loosely wrapping his lips around one of Timmy’s rosy nipples and giving it a slow suck.

“Do not ask from me things which are beyond my power.” He said as he pulled back, his voice had dropped a few octaves filled with a sweet hint of danger. His eyes had darkened, pinning Timmy down but also challenged him to move, attempt to defy the older boy.

Timmy wanted to get high on the sharp and authoritative edge, which was dripping like poison from Alexander’s voice.

He licked his lips and nodded softly, his mind slowly fogging up with a different kind of emotion, far different than sadness and misery, to the point he was starting to forget what he was upset about, choosing to focus on Alexander’s warm lips and clever fingers working on his body.

Alexander’s fingers were slick with the sweet smelling lotion, and he slowly worked them on Timmy’s body, massaging from his chest and going lower, coaxing Timmy’s muscles to relax and surrender to him something which was easily achieved.

He looked up at the smaller boy as his hands came to rest on the inside of the boy’s milky thighs Alex wanted to sink his teeth in, leave his mark to show he was in full possesion of the tiny boy. The thoughts quickly subsided when he saw the tear streaks and the diamond-like tears shining in the corners if his eyes.

“We have the whole week ahead of us, okay?” Alex whispered, kissing away Timmy’s tears, which had run down his soft cheeks. Timmy nodded sniffling and leaned forward, kissing Alex again, sweeter this time.

“The day before you leave I want to spend the night with you and Haz at our flat, just the three of us, please.” He pleaded.

“How could I refuse, baby.” Timmy smiled through his tears, making Alex’s heart skip a beat. Smiling back at the smaller boy, he closed his eyes and joined their foreheads together.

He breathed in deeply, finally making up his mind and cursing at himself for being an idiot.

He was willing to risk for Timmy, of course he would, how could he not?

The only thing he was only hoping for was that for once in his life, he was mistaken, and nothing actually was like in his mind.

Little did he know that his words would backfire at him in the worst way possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Through the week I'll update some of the older chapters and add some details as well as correct some things so stay tuned for that, I'll tell you next time in which chapters I changed things so be sure to read my notes!  
> Come chat with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh hello everyone! How are you all? I hope you had a lovely, lovely week. Thank you so much for the comments and kudos on the last chapter they always warm up my heart.  
> Now this chapter is up a little later than usual because of technical difficulties aka my laptop not cooperating with me but she's finally here!  
> Remember last week when I said I'll do some updates in the earlier chapters? Well, I didn't because I was too busy, life got in the way and my birthday along with celebrations so, yeah.. Hopefully I'm gonna do it this weekend so stay tuned for that!  
> I hope you guys will like this chapter, it took a long while for me to edit it for some weird reason but I think in the end we got somewhere. I'm particularly fond of the sweet Armie and Timmy moment in the end.  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think, comments are always appreciated!  
> Thank you so much for reading my story and leaving lovely comments and kudos.  
> Alright you guys I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Bisous x

“You seem to be in deep thought,” Troye said, taking a seat down next to Timmy, who was on his bed leaning with his back against the wall with a thick blanket around him. Timmy looked at him through his steaming mug of tea, his eyes were red-rimmed from the tears he had previously shed. J

ust the thought of his favourite twins leaving him, even if it was only for the weekend brought fresh tears in his eyes, and no matter how strong he had tried to seem in front of Alexander and failed, his heart was aching and slowly coming apart at the seams. He didn’t know what he was going to do without them, without him.

“I am,” He whispered hoarsely tugging the blanket he had wrapped around himself tighter and looked down at the cup of jasmine tea in his hands.

Even that reminded him of them.

He used to despise tea but slowly learnt to love it while spending time curled between their arms under heavy blankets while it poured outside.

Tea and blankets were his safety.

Just like the twins.

Harry was the tea, he came in various flavours, warmed up his insides, smelled good and quenched his thirst.

Alexander was the blanket; he warmed and hugged his whole being, his heart, his soul, even his mind. He made him feel safe from the weather, the reality and his own smaller demons.

“Would you like to talk?” Troye asked gently and leaned his back on the wall mimicking Timmy’s position. Timmy looked at him for a few seconds before nodding. He was a third person, entirely out of this, he would probably be able to give him advice.

“I don’t know where to start.” He mumbled, bringing his cup up to his lips and took a sip, the hot beverage burned his tongue once more, causing him to wince.

“Why are you like this?” Troye questioned as he stood up and grabbed his own blanket from his bed before sitting back down next to Timmy whilst wrapping it around his body.

Timmy lowered his gaze to the cup in his hands, watching the steam slowly rising from the cup towards him. He exhaled softly making the steam change direction before disappearing altogether.

“The twins will go to England the upcoming weekend, family issues.” He replied, wiping a treacherous tear rolling down his cheek.

“For how long?”

“Two days,” Timmy chuckled shaking his head and leaned his head back on the wall staring at the ceiling.

He sounded ridiculous, he was well aware of it, but he couldn’t help it. Yes, it was two days, and he had been without them again when he had gone to Rome and when they had gone to England in the summer and on other different occasions, but this time, he felt as if there was something different going on.

He didn’t know if it was some sort of intuition or just fear. He just had a feeling something was going to happen, something bad.

“I feel like something is wrong,” He said, looking at Troye before the blue-eyed boy could say anything.

“Why would you think that?” Troye asked, confused, not understanding why Timmy would think such a thing. He didn’t see anything wrong with the twin's actions. Sure, they were secretive, and most of the time it felt like they were talking in code which he didn’t understand but other than that they seemed fine.

“I just think that they are lying to me about something, maybe the reason they are leaving.” The hazel-eyed boy mumbled. Troye looked away from his friend in loss of words.

What was he supposed to say to that?

“You should talk to them about it, confront them, demand the truth.” He said, looking back at Timmy.

“Don’t you think I thought of it? I know them too well now. If they are indeed hiding something, they won’t tell me; they will take the secret to their graves.” Timmy sighed in frustration and drunk the rest of his tea before placing the mug a little bit too hard on the night table.

“Easy there,” Troye mumbled placing his hand on Timmy’s knee in an attempt to soothe the body, understanding how stressed and troubled the boy was.

“Then again, I might be wrong, and I'm just suspicious for no apparent reason.” He pinched his lower lip, bringing it a bit forward, a habit he had picked up from Alexander who often did the same thing when he was thinking about something. Either that or staring at someone for several seconds without blinking.

“You won’t know unless you ask,” Timmy nodded at Troye’s words. He could ask them tomorrow, or maybe later after his lunch date with Armie, something which had slipped his mind.

“Armie is hiding his true identity for me.” He said, making Troye snort and look at him again.

“What the hell is up with your men hiding things from you? First Double Trouble and now American Boy? I’m not sure if I’m glad that I didn’t get any of them or sad because I didn’t, because like, your life is so full of changes. Something always happens.” Troye tried to light up the mood. His face brightened up a little bit inside when Timmy’s lips lifted up in a small smile.

“I told him to tell me in his own time, it’s pretty obvious that it’s a sensitive subject for him. His family too. He doesn’t like talking about them.” Timmy said softly. Troye frowned at this.

“It looks like it doesn’t bother you that much,” Timmy agreed.

“He has a reason to do so, and it’s not like he knows me his whole life to trust me with sensitive information about himself.”

“Then what’s your problem?” Troye asked, feeling even more confused than before, unable to understand what Timmy wanted to say but didn’t dare to say out loud.

The French boy toyed with the paw of his sweater nervously and chewed on his lower lip debating with himself whether he should tell Troye how he felt and the confusion which fogged up his thoughts making him act more reckless than usual without foreseeing the consequences his action would later on bring.

“Alex,” He sighed, placing his head on top of his knees and wrapped his arms around them.

“How is Alex your problem with Armie?”

“No, he doesn’t have to do anything with Armie. I just, I-I..” Timmy sighed and closed his eyes, trying to find the words to word his feelings correctly. Troye didn’t speak, choosing to let Timmy take his time and gather his thoughts.

“I think I might have feelings for Alex too,” He finally breathed out, admitting it out loud to someone other than himself for the first time.

He felt like a weight had lifted off his shoulders; but at the same time, it felt like the weight had moved on to his heart, which suddenly was way heavier inside his chest.

What had he just said?

“Is it true?” He heard Troye ask in a small gentle tone.

Timmy nodded, tearing up again and brought the blanket to his face covering it with the soft blanket.

“I always knew they were there, but I kept them away, hidden in the darkest part of my heart, never allowed them to bloom.” He whispered, burying his face deeper in the blanket not daring to look at the blue-eyed boy.

“Why? You know that it doesn’t make sense, right? He loves you too, but he apparently is as stupid as you are, maybe even more than you,” Troye exclaimed sitting up on his knees and gently took Timmy’s face in his hands forcing him to look up at him, demanding and needing answers.

Timmy sighed, looking at his friend through the tears blurring his vision and leaned forward, hiding his head in Troye’s neck. The blue-eyed boy made a noise of surprise but immediately recovered and wrapped his thin arms around Timmy, holding him close to him.

“He deserves better than me,” Troye couldn’t help but snort at Timmy’s barely audible statement.

“What?” Timmy pulled back a bit to look at Troye, confused as to why he had reacted this way.

“I just can’t believe that you could be calling Alex the love of your life right now and have fully healed and be adored and worshipped, but instead you decided to kill your love for him just because you’re afraid you’re not enough for him.”

“It’s not just that! There’s the possibility that if we were together, we wouldn’t last long, we would fight a lot or disagree on things, but now with how things turned out, we will always be in each other’s lives because we can’t live without each other. Or at least I can’t.” Timmy’s voice softened as he uttered the last part of his sentence. Troye’s expression softened too when the soft and frightened words reached his ears.

He pushed Timmy’s curls away from his forehead and leaned forward, pressing a kiss there, closing his eyes.

“I don’t think he can either.” He whispered fully knowing the words he had just spoken were nothing but one hundred per cent correct.

Timmy knew it too and somewhere deep inside him. There was a piece of him which hoped that things between them would be different. Perhaps in another universe, the two had met again under different circumstances where Alexander would be a British boy still unharmed from life and love and Timothée, a French one in the exact same position.

He smiled at the thought, hoping this universe did exist and himself and Alex were happy there.

He pulled back away from Troye and wiped his eyes, breathing deeply.

“I have to go meet Armie for lunch, I promised him we would have lunch together.” Timmy got off the bed, straightening the hoodie he wore and opened the wardrobe taking a pair of black jeans out.

“Are you sure you’re in the right state of mind to go?” Timmy looked back at Troye, nodding his head.

“Of course why wouldn’t I?” Troye shrugged his shoulders and got up from where he was sitting on Timmy’s bed and made his way towards the dark-haired boy. He brushed Timmy’s hair with his fingers as he looked at him.

“I don’t know, aren’t you emotionally charged or something?” Timmy lowered his gaze to the ground and laced his fingers together inside the paws of his hoodie, which was a tad too long for him.

“There isn’t much I can do about Alexander and me. It’s a lost case of unrequited love. He is happy with Sersh, and I’m happy with Armie. Alex will always belong to me and I to him in our own unique way, we’ll have our tiny little stolen moments, but we will never collide because he is my moon and I’m his sun. And like I said it’s better this way because no matter what happens we’ll always have a warm home, a safe place to return to when the thunders of life get too bad, and I would hate myself if I ever lost him. It would be like losing a part of myself.”

Troye just smiled watching as the other boy nervously fiddled with his sleeves, his gaze never leaving the ground, his cheeks were flushed a soft red shade. He simply loved hearing Timmu gush about Alexander, more than he did about Armie.

“Anyway, I really should go.”

**-**

“How did you meet the twins?” Armie asked from his seat across from Timmy. As promised the pair sat down to have lunch at the Bistrot Timmy liked after a short stroll around Paris.

Armie could understand why Timmy liked this place. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming. The walls were lined in with wood, picture frames with black and white pictures of gold days of Paris as Timmy said were hanged on the walls, there was a fireplace which kept the place warm and an old piano a few meters away from the fireplace. The wooden tables were adorned with white and grey table clothes and a vase with white roses in the middle of them.

Timmy placed his fork down and wiped the corner of his lips with a napkin.

“When I returned to London with my uncle, after Italy. We had a family over for dinner one night, and their oldest son was openly gay and flirted with me. My uncle didn’t say anything at first,  but I could see that he wasn’t too happy about it. Anyway, I went out with the guy a couple of times, Harry was there too, they were friends, and I remember liking him instantly because was so funny and nice and he made me feel welcomed and not at all like a stranger who was invading their happy space. About a month later, my uncle saw us kissing, and the guy just run off, he didn’t stick up for me, and he just let me get hell from my uncle. Long story short, he kicked me out, and I didn’t know what to do, so I walked and walked for hours in the rain. I sat down by a curb somewhere thinking of the possibilities I had. I didn’t have money to return to Paris to my sister, and I had nowhere to stay. Then out of nowhere, a jacket was wrapped around my body, and a pair of arms were lifting me up. I remember the first thing I saw was Harry’s eyes; they were full of worry and compassion. He took me to his flat with Alex, that’s when I met him I didn’t know him before, and he told me I could stay for however long I wanted. A day turned into a week, a week turned to a month and quickly into a year, then two years, three years.” Timmy smiled, looking down at his half-eaten food.

“Wait they took you in like that?” Armie asked.

“Just like that, without a second thought. Alex was sceptical and cautious at first, he wouldn’t look at me or sit next to me, but he warmed up to me with time, and now I can’t see a life without him or Haz.” Armie nodded, letting Timmy’s words sink in. As weird as it sounded, it also seemed like something Harry and Alex would do.

“I found a family in them, something I always thought I had, but in reality, I didn’t. Harry reminded me so much of Emma, his clothes and his attitude and theories about the world. His love for classic rock bands, the respect of nature, love everyone, look at the bright side of things, forgive, be kind.”

“And Alex?” Timmy toyed with his napkin and looked away from Armie towards the piano, wishing Alex was sitting on the bench playing one of the many Rachmaninoff pieces he knew by heart and played effortlessly making it look like the easiest thing in the world.

“Alex is…He is something else. I found so much in him, a companion, a friend, a soulmate. The mystery in his eyes lured me in, and his mind humbled me. He was so different from Harry, from everyone I’ve ever met. His melancholy and his adoration for old cinema, good wine, Nina Simone and his ability to play the piano flawlessly and his knowledge about practically everything fascinated me. I felt as if I was meeting an old soul who could guide me through the darkest paths and bring me back to life.”

Armie smiled, looking at Timmy’s soft and loving expression which had taken over his delicate features as he talked about the other man. Under different circumstances, Armie would have been jealous beyond words, but he knew that he had no right to be. He remembered the fondness in Alexander’s eyes when he had talked about how much he loved and cared about Timmy when the two had gone out of coffee. He had a feeling that the two had feelings for each other which they both had probably buried a long time ago and chose to continue being by each other’s side because it was pretty apparent that they needed each other in order to survive. And Armie would rather die than take whatever the two had away from Timmy. The small boy would fall apart if he did something like this and Armie himself, enjoyed Alexander’s company.

“Now enough about me, tell me about you and Henry.” Timmy smiled up at Armie and pressed his hand on top of Armie’s on the table. Armie laced their fingers and brought Timmy’s hand up to his mouth, kissing his knuckles gently.

“Henry and I grew up with each other. His parents were in a car accident when we were kids, my mother insisted on taking him in which we did.” Armie mumbled with narrowed eyes. The more he thought about the accident and the similarities between the accident his father was in, the more convinced he became that his mother had something to do with both accidents.

“So it was like having a brother and a best friend at the same time?” Armie agreed.

“Yes, you can put it like that I guess. We were friends before the accident after it happened we drifted apart for a while even though we were staying at the same house, but you know, Henry needed his time with himself to deal with it. After a while we became inseparable again, we started sharing the same room, we bathed together, went to the same class, agreed on everything, which toys were the coolest, which lessons we despised, which students we liked the most, which girls and boys were the hottest, clothes, cars, you name it. We clashed badly before I left New York, but he ended up following me.” Timmy smiled sympathetically at his lover, understanding how Henry must felt after his parent's accident, he had felt the same way after Emma’s death. He knew it was awful not knowing where to stand and not knowing who to blame. He could only imagine that it must have been even more terrible for Henry, who was just a child when he lost both of his parents in such a gruesome way.

“Why did you leave New York?” Armie stiffened at that. Timmy shook his head and gripped Armie’s hand tighter.

“You don’t have to tell me, darling.” Armie sighed, lowering his gaze once more.

“It’s not as terrible as it is in my mind it’s just, I don’t know Timmy, it still is pretty bad.” Timmy looked at him confused, not understanding what the blue-eyed man meant with that.

“I know you don’t get it, but it’s a long and complicated story. One of the reasons I left was because I don’t want to have the weight of a legacy on my shoulders. I didn’t want to become who they wanted me to become. I wanted to be my own person and stand on my own two feet, show the world that I can stand on my own and I’m worth something.”

Timmy leaned forward and cupped Armie’s face in his hands, looking at the taller boy in the eyes.

“I’m proud of you, of everything you have achieved thus far. You can’t imagine how happy it makes me know that you’re here, carving out your own future and fighting for your beliefs instead of doing whatever you were supposed to be doing. I’m proud of you for breaking away and choosing to be your own person. This is very rare, Armie! Knowing that your family must be important and well-respected one and you just cut ties with them, and you work and do whatever you can to succeed on your own, it’s inspiring.” Armie smiled shyly looking down at his hands which were folded on top of the table.

“My mother told me that I’m an idiot for leaving the life I was made for behind me.” Timmy shook his head and pressed his lips on Armie’s, kissing him sweetly.

“No, Armie, you did what was best for you, you created a new reality for you, and it’s more than plausible.”

“And I have you in my reality, what more could I possibly ask for?” Armie asked with a smile, tucking a stray curl behind Timmy’s ear. Timmy smiled and kissed Armie again in the same soft way he had done before, his heart so full for the older boy.

“Exactly, you have me. You have people who love you and accept you and your choices wholeheartedly.”

“I’m so glad I met you in Rome, Timmy.”

“I’m glad you found me Armie.”

Armie smiled, his cheeks hurting from smiling so hard for so long. He slowly started to realise that this was all he needed.

He needed someone to understand him and accept him for who he was, with his flaws and past and everything he was afraid of saying out loud.

He wanted someone to fall in love with his mess and for him to fall in love with someone else who was as much of a mess as him. And he had found exactly who he wanted.

And that was Timmy who was a beautiful and colourful mess with much more emotions than he had ever seen someone else have. It didn’t matter to him if Timmy loved him more or less than he loved him because it didn’t matter. Because love isn’t supposed to be measured, it’s supposed to be shared, and the two shared it deeply in a beautiful way full of admiration, and mutual understanding and Armie liked that.

He liked the slow build of their relationship. He loved watching how the pieced it together piece by piece, little by little instead of diving in headfirst and hitting rock bottom too quickly. It fascinated him to watch them become from strangers to friends to lovers. He had a feeling that because of it, they would last longer. Because at the moment they might be confused and uncertain about the feelings, but there will come a moment where the skies will clear, and all the fog surrounding them will disappear, nothing will separate them, and they will bare their souls to each other. Only that way they will finally become one with a beautiful soul merging ceremony where Armie will lay his heart in Timmy’s hands, and he will give him licence to either destroy it or put his alongside Armie’s.

Timmy leaned a bit over the table to press his lips on Armie’s smiling when he felt Armie smiling in their kiss and quickly pulled back letting out soft giggles. He ran his thumb over Armie’s lips, tracing his smile and gazed up at him, meeting his ocean eyes.

“We’re tasting each other’s smile.” He murmured, not wanting to interrupt the precious moment with the loudness of meaningless words.

Armie laughed, loud and bright, his ocean eyes gleaming with a unique shine which he reserved for Timmy and Timmy only and well, Timmy couldn’t be mad at the loud noise.

“We’re tasting each other’s happiness,” The older boy said before sealing their lips again in a sweet kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang out with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all? I hope you had a lovely week.  
> Thank you so much for the comments and the kudos on the last chapter, I promise you I read them but I've had a few technical difficulties along the week and I couldn't answer them. I'll do my best to answer them all tonight.  
> So this chapter is an even more confusing chapter but it's one of my favourites and I'm so proud of how it turned out. We have a few more confusing chapters and then everything will clear up, I promise.  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think, kudos are aaalways appreciated.  
> I love you and I appreciate you,  
> alright you guys I'll see you all next Saturday  
> Bisous x

When Monday morning came, Timothée was more moody than he had been in a while. The cold and the fact that it was Monday, didn’t do anything to improve his mood at all. He wished he had accepted Armie’s sweet offer to spend the night with him at his and Henry’s dorm. He would for sure be warmer if he had spent the night wrapped around Armie’s strong arms and would probably be less moody.

The small curly-haired boy was still in his bed wrapped around in a hoodie and a thick sweater and his duvet which did little to nothing to shelter him from the cold of the November morning, watching Troye as he annoyingly happily got ready for the day.

“Are you planning on coming out of your cocoon at all today Tim or you’ll stay there till spring comes?” Troye asked as he brushed his newly bleached blonde hair which Timmy wasn’t sure if he liked or hated.

Timmy shook his head from under the covers and mumbled a quiet no which came out muffled due to the duvet which was covering his face.

“Come out butterfly,” Troye rolled his eyes and sat next to his friend and roommate. He pulled the covers off of Timmy making the hazel-eyed boy screech and immediately sit up to retrieve them.

“Oi! You bastard, give them back!” He hissed as Troye stood up, holding the covers and moved them to his own bed.

“Oh look at you sounding so posh and British, is it because of a certain Alexander?” Troye mockingly gasped.

Timmy shook his head, not in the mood for Troye’s little mind games and mockery. He curled on himself on his bed, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugged himself as tightly as he could attempting to stay warm. He pulled the sweater he was wearing down covering his knees and closed his eyes.

“It’s too cold; I’m not going anywhere.” He whispered, rubbing his hands up and down his trembling arms. Troye gingerly walked closer to Timmy’s bed and leaned down, running his fingers through the boy’s soft curls letting out a sigh.

“I know Tim, but you have to, c’mon you’ll be late to class.” He mumbled gently looking down at his shivering friend.

Timmy looked up at the blue-eyed boy, and shook his head once more.

“Can you give me my duvet? Please?” He whispered, his voice cracking. Troye didn’t say anything, remained put on his spot for a few more seconds before nodding and stood up grabbing Timmy’s dark blue duvet from his bed and carefully laid it on top of Timmy’s thin body.

Timmy immediately covered himself with it and slowly relaxed, his shivering lessened, but the cold was still there.

“I’m going to class, okay? You should too, when you feel a little better.” Troye said, putting on another hoodie over the jumper he was wearing. Timmy chose to nod instead of verbally answering, not feeling sure if he had the strength to get up and go to class.

He felt drained and tired, his thoughts and feelings were all over the place and he didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore. He had no idea what was he supposed to do or feel. Everything had taken a sudden turn in his life, and he felt too overwhelmed and torn in two. One side of his brain was dizzy due to the happiness and love he felt for and because of Armie and the other side was on fire because of his adoration his need and inability to stay away from Alexander.

He hated himself for being so weak and unable to find a way to tame all his feelings and put them in order.

“Oh, hi, good morning!” His thoughts were interrupted by Troye’s suddenly high pitched voice as the boy opened the door of their dorm. Timmy closed his eyes and pulled the covers over his head, distancing himself from reality.

“Good morning.” Alexander’s husky voice came from the door. Timmy’s eyes opened wide, and he turned on his side, trying to catch a glimpse of the older curly-haired man.

“Come in, Timmy is, well, he is a bit under the weather, but I see you’ve come prepared?” Troye trailed off as Alexander walked in the room with a grey sweater hanging from his arm and a steaming mug of tea.

His longer curls on the front of his head were damp clinging on his forehead. His hair unstyled and looking softer than usual, almost as if he had just stepped out of the shower and Timmy guessed the older boy had just returned from his morning run and after cleaning up, he had made a beeline for Timmy’s room.

He was shirtless only wearing a pair of joggers which rested low on his hips, his v lines full-on display along with the small scar on his side and the dark hair of his happy trail which disappeared under the grey fabric. The hazel-eyed boy felt his breathing starting to quicken at the sight even though he was more than familiar with the sigh of the pale toned skin more.

Timmy watched completely in a trance as the older boy set the mug on the wooden sous verre resting on Timmy’s night table next to a bottle of water and then sat next to Timmy on the bed placing the sweater next to him.

Troye’s voice saying how he should get up and go to class seemed to be far away and the only thing he could concentrate on was the way some water drops made their way down Alexander’s broad shoulder.

“Hi,” Timmy whispered, uncovering his face and reached his hand out, needing his own skin to come in contact with Alexander’s. Alex smiled softly and took Timmy’s smaller hand in his and brought it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on his fingers.

Timmy wasn’t surprised that although Alex was half-naked, his skin was warm. The older boy seemed always to be warm no matter how cold it was outside, making him Timmy’s first choice when he felt cold and sought warmth.

“Of course, ignore me and my concern, sorry to bother you,” Troye sarcastically said as he let himself out of the dorm, unnoticed and unheard by both the boys perched on Timmy’s twin bed.

“Good morning, petal,” The British man said in a gentle tone, a small smile appearing on his plump lips.

“You don’t have class till later today what are you doing up?” Timmy asked, dragging with his finger a single droplet running from the pale skin of Alex’s nape down his shoulder, making its way down his hard chest and rested his hand there, feeling the gentle beat of the man’s heart.

“I couldn’t sleep, had a nightmare in the middle of the night, and I took off running, trying to silence my demons. I came back about an hour ago, took a shower and came to see how you’re dealing with the cold.” Alexander’s words caused Timmy’s heart to shake and bend inside his chest.

The smaller boy leaned up on his elbows, noticing that Troye had left without him realising it. With that, he immediately felt lighter and leaned forward, taking Alex’s chin between his fingers and brought their faces closer until they were just a couple of inches away.

“Did running silence your demons?” Timmy looked in the older boy’s eyes, the very eyes he saw in his dreams every night and made him feel safe and calm.

Alex shook his head and leaned his forehead on Timmy’s before answering.

“No, it only managed to numb them for a little bit. It’s obvious that no matter how fast I run, I can’t escape them. They chase me. And most of the time, they get to me.” Timmy hummed, slowly nosing along the side of Alex’s face, his soft lips tickling the skin of Alex’s cheek moving to his jaw which was slightly prickly from his unshaved two-day-old stubble he hadn’t felt like shaving.

“Tell me if this silences them,” Timmy whispered, pressing his lips on Alex’s, kissing the British man slowly trying to convey through the kiss every single one of his feelings. Desperately and intimately wanting and needing Alexander to understand him.

Alex closed his eyes and allowed himself to get lost inside the kiss.

He felt uncharacteristically happy knowing that he was going to be able to taste Timmy’s mouth on his every time he licked his lips for the rest of the day. He wanted to tell Timmy that the boy didn’t have to kiss him to silence his demons. They had drowned the moment he had stepped into the small dorm room and breathed in the boy’s scent and saw him curled in the mess of blankets.

Timmy pulled slightly back, not completely detaching his parted lips from the older boy, loving the way they felt against his and being able to feel Alex breathing the same air as him. He felt Alex’s lips lifting in a small sweet smile, something so rare but oh so lovely.

The little movement made Timmy move back a bit, wanting to witness with his own eyes Alex being happy for once in his life, even if it was going to last only for a few short moments.

Alexander’s face was completely relaxed for once. The usual wrinkle between his eyebrows which seemed to be permanent had disappeared at last, making the older boy look much younger and soft. The soft smile that curved on his full lips and the faint dimples denting his cheek along with the unruly curls which were slowly drying on his forehead made him look almost innocent. And he was, at least in Timmy’s eyes, because in real life it was a whole different story. One Alex wasn’t too fond of.

“Better now?” Timmy whispered, reaching out and slowly ran his thumb gently over the curve of Alexander’s upper lip. Alex’s eyes fluttered open, his long dark lashes looked like black butterflies flapping their wings, the blue and green orbs were hazy, proving further to Timmy how relaxed the older boy was.

“Much better, petal.” His voice was a low rumble, his words rolling off his tongue slowly as if he had all the time in the world. Timmy adored that. He adored watching the way Alexander’s lips moved so slowly, forming each and every word perfectly. It always felt like a gentle honeyed caress.

He smiled wide in content, lying back on the pillows. Happy with himself and Alex’s warmth and scent surrounding him. Timmy had suddenly forgotten the cold he had felt just a few moments ago. His body and soul were warm due to the presence of the taller man who was cold and harsh on the outside but burnt like scorching lava on the inside which was able to burn cities.

Alexander sat up straighter and took in his big hands the grey sweater he had brought with him. Timmy watched his careful and calculated movements, the calloused pads of his thumbs carefully brushed the dark wool. He felt confused as to why the older boy had brought it with him. Part of him wished it was because Alex wanted him to wear it or because Alex thought his small body would look good in it. Timmy wanted to reach out and touch the sweater, hold it up to his nose and breath in Alexander’s scent. He hoped the older boy had worn it at least once or twice. He’d very much rather smell Alexander’s body scent mixed with his aftershave and deodorant. He detested the smell the same old laundry detergent everyone’s clothes seemed to smell like since every student washed their clothes in the laundry room and they all used the same flowery soap which was supposed to smell like the ocean, but it obviously didn’t.

Timmy could never understand how a soap, no matter what kind it was, would be able to smell like The Alpes or the ocean, or rivers. It was a soap after all, and no human would be able to capture the scent of the sea or the way the skin smelled after a dive in the ocean. They were too unique to be captured.

He felt Alexander’s mismatched eyes on him, the small smile he had before was still very much present on his full pink lips and Timmy’s heart danced inside his chest.

“What is it?” He asked in a soft tone, not wanting to interrupt their comfortable silence. Alex shook his head, the smile on his lips slightly widened and the dimple on his cheek deepened making Timmy wonder if when it was at it’s full peak, it would be as deep as Harry’s.

“You looked like you wanted to say something but then you got lost in your own little world. It was adorable to watch.” Timmy flushed red at Alexander’s words hating himself for being so obvious and open.

“Being open is a beautiful thing, petal. It looks beautiful on you, breathtaking actually. I’m always amazed by how open you are. I can see even the tiniest and most irrelevant thought swirling around in your pretty little head, colouring different parts of your brain and igniting different and deeper thoughts.”

Timmy leaned up and cradled Alexander’s face in his hands, pressing their lips together in a chaste kiss.

“As much I love hearing you talk about me and being so fond, I’d rather feel it.” He whispered, suddenly feeling bold and empowered by an invisible force which made him forget about everything, including Armie, Saoirse, Harry, Troye and his morning class to which he was definitely late to now.

Alexander pulled back, looking regretful and Timmy felt the wings which made his heart feel so light and almost float cripple and fall hard in the pit of his stomach. He swallowed knowing that whatever thought had crossed Alex’s mind was correct even though he would never admit it to himself, feeling incredibly selfish wanting and needing to have all of what Alexander had to offer for himself but also have Armie for him. Timothée wanted everything all at once. Everything he could have and everything he couldn’t have.

“Do me a favour, please.” He said, his voice shaky knowing that what he was about to voice was beyond crazy and selfish. He partly felt bad for treating Alex this way, for using his feelings for his own benefit.

The British man with the unique eyes looked at the boy he loved, nodding slowly and regretting turning Timmy down. God only knew how much his heart, which for so many years he believed it was made of stone, hurt. It was unbearable, but he put on a brave face, it was the only thing he could do anyway.

Timmy moved closer to him, their lips brushing over each other in a soft feather-like kiss. Alexander’s breath got caught in his throat as Timmy whispered his next words.

“Don’t kiss Saoirse today, at all. I want you to feel me on your lips all day long, taste me each time you run your tongue over them, when you eat, and when you touch them while you think. I want you to feel me, Alex.”

Alexander clenched his jaw and inwardly cursed at the younger boy for not knowing of the beast he was slowly awaking inside him with his words.

He pinned Timmy into place with his hard stare and licked his lower lip, tasting Timmy all over it. He gently ran his fingers from Timmy’s prominent collarbone pocking out from his sweater up to his long, freckled throat. He loosely wrapped his hand around it and experimentally pressed the heel of his palm on Timmy’s pulse, loving sound of the sharp intake of breath coming from Timmy.

He laid Timmy back on the bed, his hand never detaching from the elegant neck. He leaned forward with eyes a few shades darker and voice dropped into a low growl of sure and confident words.

“As long as you do the same, my dear petal.”

 

-

As expected Timmy was late to his first-class but luck seemed to be on his side today. It turned out that the professeur had called in sick last minute and they didn’t have time to replace him which cause the class to be cancelled and rescheduled for Wednesday morning.

Timmy walked inside the empty classroom wearing the dark grey sweater Alex had brought to him which of course was to keep Timmy warm all day, to find a blonde-haired girl who he knew all too well, sitting alone on the far end of the room under a replica of Venus De Milo with an A2 sketchbook on the floor in front of her.

He walked towards her. The old wooden floor creaked beneath shaky legs. Timmy could still feel  Alexander’s hand around his throat and the low growl which had caused his hips to lift up from the bed and his legs to shake, a fire in the pit of his stomach ignite and his cock to awake.

He breathed in deeply as the girl looked up at him. A small smile appearing on her nude lips and a few pieces of blonde hair fell loose from the bun they were pulled in, framing her sweet features, completely obvlivious that her handsome boyfriend had caused Timmy's legs to shake.

Timmy could understand why Alexander chose to give her his time. She was an intriguing combination of beauty, brains, talent and sass and humbleness, non-egoistical at all, always aiming to please and kind of a perfectionist. She was the perfect match for the Britsh man, and sometimes Timmy hated himself for being between them and wanting to keep Alexander all to himself.

“Good morning, sweet Tea,” Saoirse greeted leaning back on the wall white wall behind her, picking up the mug which was sitting on her left.

Timmy chuckled with a smile and lowered himself to the ground, placing his backpack on his lap.

“Good morning Sersh,” He mumbled softly, pressing a kiss on her cheek.

“You’re late,” She looked at him trying to sound stern, but Timmy could see she was failing due to the smiled threatening to break on her face.

Timmy nodded, thinking about what made him even more late, more likely who but he couldn’t complain. If he could get to kiss Alexander like that first thing in the morning, he wouldn’t mind being late every single day for the rest of his life.

“I was too cold, didn’t feel like getting out of the bed.” Saoirse hummed.

“Can’t blame you, I woke up freezing as well. You would have thought I’m used to the cold weather living in Ireland and all but no,” They both chuckled, Timmy agreeing with her.

The girl raised her cup towards him, and Timmy took it with a soft thank you and took a sip from the tea, which was thankfully still warm. Although he was no longer cold, due to Alexander carefully dressing him up with too many layers of clothes which made him feel as if he was an onion, he welcomed the warm beverage which slid smoothly down his throat. As he pulled the cup away from his lips, he noticed the dusty black fingerprints on the pale pink mug and turned to look at his friend.

Saoirse was sketching away on her sketchbook using a piece of vine charcoal. The sketch was still rough. Mostly an outline of a face, a pair of eyes which even through the drawing were piercing and could cut glass with the heat they had. Timmy would recognise them anywhere, in any crowded room, any lifetime, no matter where he was and no matter what happened.

“It’s beautiful.” He said softly watching as Saoirse used her fingers to blend some harsh lines and shadows she didn’t seem to like. She smiled up at him behind the blonde pieces of hair which were delicately hanging in front of her face, her bright blue eyes shining under the lights of the room.

“You think he’ll like it?” She asked shyly, letting the rest of her hair down before putting them all up in a messy ponytail.

Timmy nodded. He was one hundred per cent sure Alex would adore it.

“He’ll love it.” He said quietly. Saoirse’s eyes shone brighter at that and her already flushed cheeks from the cold flushed darker.

Timmy stayed quiet, merely watching as the blonde-haired girl worked on her drawing.

Although he was pretty familiar with charcoal drawings and drawings in general since he drew as well, he found the way Saoirse’s hand moved so effortlessly doing slow and careful strokes with the piece of charcoal to form the man’s features and the way her fingers blended in the shadow, sometimes using the kneaded eraser to correct and shape the details the way she wanted, absolutely fascinating.

He had always been proud of his art, loved to display the paintings he liked the most in their flat in the living room, and if something caught the twins eyes, they would display them on the walls of their rooms. Timmy himself had most of his simpler paintings and sketches hanging all over his room, some of them were hanging above his desk on a polaroid wire while some others were stuck on the walls with tape. Watching someone else draw though, making something as precious as art was, especially a man who was as broken as an ancient art piece made his eyes water. He didn’t know why; he just knew that he was overwhelmed and emotional. A good kind of emotional.

He cleared his throat and used the sleeves of his sweater to wipe the moisture which had gathered in his eyes.

He stared at the drawing again, to find Alex’s gaze softer than it was before, less cutting, more human-like, the heterochromia still pretty evident, making the picture even more accurate.

“I think he will tear up when he sees it.” He whispered as fresh tears started clouding his own vision. He quickly blinked a couple of times and placed the backpack next to him, bringing his knees up to his chest and laid his head on top of them.

“Why? Is it so bad?” Saoirse asked looking at him, worry feeling her eyes. Timmy chuckled and shook his head, tucking a stubborn curl delicately behind his ear.

“No, no. The opposite actually. It’s beautiful Sersh. Beautiful, and it depicts exactly who he is. Something rough with a warm gaze which burns cities to the ground on its wake, yet just like your drawing, he isn’t perfect, he is human and more real than anyone I know.” He trailed off, looking away from her before he said things he would regret later, ignoring the fact that they were as true as they could be.

“He will be like Dorian Grey when he first saw his portrait, the actual depiction of himself. Emotional, more human than ever.” He whispered to himself, leaning his head on the wall.

They stayed quiet for a while after that, the only sounds in the quiet room were the soft dragging of charcoal across the textured paper and their silent breathing.

Saoirse leaned back after a while. Her blue eyes took in the painting she had made, it wasn’t finished yet and just as Timmy had said, it was wasn’t perfect but it also somehow was, resembling the man he depicted.

She smiled softly and wiped the charcoal of her hands using a wet wipe. She too leaned back on the wall mimicking Timothée’s position and stared out of the big window. It was raining outside, the pitter-patter of the rain and the scent of white tea reminded her of the good old days back in Ireland when she was a little kid. She missed being innocent, and she missed watching the rain without a single thought in her mind and a weight weighing down her heart.

She glanced at the drawing of the man she was slowly falling for even though she knew she wasn’t supposed to.

“Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?” She whispered softly, her voice bearly audible.

Timmy looked at her confused.

“What do you mean?” He asked, shuffling closer to her. She shook her head softly, not knowing how to explain what she meant.

“If I ever hurt him, will he forgive me?” She asked, turning to look at Timothée.

“Why would you hurt him? What’s going on, I don’t understand.” He couldn’t understand where this, whatever had gotten in Saoirse’s mind came from.

“Sometimes you hurt the people you love even if you don’t want to, even when you have the best intentions. It might be a word which slips from your mouth, an action which you didn’t think through twice or something you can’t control.” Timmy nodded, finally understanding, or so he thought.

“You will hurt him multiple times Sersh. I’m sure he’ll do the same to you. But if you love each other enough, you will overcome every single obstacle. I’ve seen you two together, you look happy, and he seems to like you a lot.” He said, looking away from her, not because he couldn’t look at her in the eyes because he was lying but because it was true. And it made his heart ache, his need of being Alexander’s priority still sizzled inside him. He didn’t know who he was kidding. His need and love for Alex wouldn’t subside, no matter how deep he buried inside his heart.

“You think so?” Timmy nodded again, turning back to her smiling softly, trying to reassure her although he wasn’t quite sure himself.

Timmy knew very well that Alexander would forgive him no matter what he did to the older boy. He could rip Alex’s heart out of his chest, shred it to teeny tiny pieces and the older boy would forgive him saying that Timmy needed to take his anger out on something and since he couldn’t find something else Alexander willingly gave Timmy his heart to use it as a replacement of a stress ball or a sandbag.

He hated himself for not knowing if Alex would do the same for the girl who seemed to slowly and steadily develop feelings for him but he wanted to– needed to, believe that he would.

“I know him well,” But at the same time not at all, he wanted to add but didn’t.

“He is going to England for the weekend with Harry.” She revealed, as if Timmy didn’t already know and hadn’t thrown an overdramatic fit.

“I know, he told me.” She nodded, playing with the drying wet wipe.

“I asked him if he could spend the day before he leaves with me, but he told me he’d be with you and Harry.” Her hurt tone made Timothée’s already aching heart hurt even more to the point where it felt like it would get ripped off his chest.

He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out of his lips. He closed his mouth again and blinked a couple of times while moving his head slowly right and left, looking around, trying to find the right words to say.

Saoirse quickly picked up on his nervousness and placed a comforting hand on his bony knee, smiling softly at him.

“I’m not mad Timothée. Whatever you three have is very special, and although I’m not capable of understanding it quite yet, I accept it. I came in your lives much after your bond was made and I don’t want to stand in the middle of it or take it away from you. I’m happy you have each other, I’m happy he has you because it’s obvious you love him as much as he does. You make him less miserable, something I try to do too but I don’t always succeed, not like you do,” Her words didn’t make him feel better, at all. They made him feel even worse if he was frank.

He suddenly thought of Armie. How would the older boy react if he one day found out what was happening behind the closed door and inside his head? Would he be kind about it? Would he understand? Would it turn him on to know that he was kissing and getting off by thinking about Alex and Armie at the same time? Would Armie want to watch them kiss and would he want to join them somehow? Or he would get mad and never speak to him again? The biggest question and most important one was, did he want to tell Armie the truth or he’d rather keep Alex his dirty little secret?

As much as he wanted to know the answers to all of the questions inside his head, he didn’t feel ready to seek them. Not when everything for once was flowing somewhat smoothly with minor bumps which he could get over on the way.

He didn’t want to ruin the happiness he had finally found after so many years of temporary happiness and one heartbreak after another. If life had taught him anything was then when you find happiness you should grip it and do your best to try and not let it go because it might never return and you’ll be left bleeding on the floor with no one to clean up your scars.

Timmy inhaled deeply as he stared at the replica of Le Baiser. Flashbacks of the first time he saw it in the Tate Modern Gallery in London surfaced in his mind. Alexander’s wide dimpled smile and sparkling mismatched green and blue eyes and his overly excited tone explaining to Timmy the origins of the statue and its history, his love for Dante and The Divine Comedy.

He had told Timmy the story of Francesca and Paolo and how they fell in love as they read to each other tales of love, their tragic death which followed soon after when Francesca's husband had found about them. Their tragic love story had broken Timmy’s heart and couldn’t stop thinking about it for days. He remembered crawling in Alexander’s bed one night, laying with his head against the man’s chest and telling him that one day he wanted to find a love like theirs where he would sacrifice everything, even himself for the person he loved.

He smiled, a small barely-there smile at the memory and turned to Saoirse.

He placed his hand on top of hers on his knee and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Timmy had one of his answers now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo any idea what might be going on with Sersh?   
> Hit me up on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves, how are you all? I hope you had a lovely week!   
> Thank you so so much for the lovely comments and kudos on the last chapter they mean so much to me.  
> This chapter...well is a little bit of a mess, but a very lovely mess which I enjoyed writing so much and I hope you guys will enhoy reading as well. Just because some things will happen and not all of you will be too comfortable with you are more than welcome to stop reading when Timmy returns to the flat till the end.  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think, I promise I read all of them even if I sometimes don't answer.  
> Kudos are always very appreciated too!  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> I love and appreciate you guys so much, thank you for reading my story!  
> Bisous x

Friday, the day Timmy was dreading for came much faster than he would like. And although the twins had managed to change the day of their trip from Friday to Saturday morning and Timmy couldn’t have been more thankful, the week had gone by like a breeze, the clock ticked, counting down the days, the hours and seconds and Timmy couldn’t do anything to stop time.

The only thing he could do was pray.

Pray for something -anything- that would stop the twins from leaving him. He prayed for a thunderstorm so strong which would make the plane stay down. He prayed for snow, a fire in the airport, for the plane to break down before it even went up, something, anything that could keep them from going.

Anything that would keep the little devil’s nagging voice inside his head silent, and prove the bad feeling inside his gut wrong.

Right then and there he was wrapped in Armie’s arms, leaning with his head on Armie’s shoulder, his eyes closed as he took slow breaths trying to coach himself into calming down. Trying to make himself believe that nothing was going to happen, and he was worrying for no reason.

He could hear Armie’s voice talking with Henry and Harry and Alex and Saoirse. Even though they had somehow managed to cramp all together in Armie’s dorm, pilled on the two beds, he and Armie with Henry and Harry on one bed and Saoirse with Alex on the other, something which Timmy wasn’t too happy about. Their voices sounded distant even though they were right next to him, and Timmy blamed it to being too lost inside his head and silently praying for a miracle.

He felt fingers brushing through his curls. The touch was soft and very welcomed from Timmy. He knew it was Armie. The man had a unique way of touching him, slow, gentle and unsure. He always threaded his fingers through Timmy’s hair, and they went from root down to the tips of his hair, slowly, almost like a gentle brush. Timmy believed that Armie’s touch was so soft and gentle because deep down, he was scared of hurting Timmy much like he had done the night they met.

He tucked himself closer to Armie and leaned his head more into his touch, silently telling him how much he appreciated the petting he was receiving. Armie smiled at that, looking down at Timmy, zoning completely out from the conversation which was still going on and was becoming more lively.

The room was filled with bright laughs as jokes were being exchanged. Happiness radiated off from every single one of them, and if someone didn’t know the truth and weren’t able to see right through them instead of just seeing the picturesque moment of happiness, friendship and young love, they would think that these bright young friends and lovers were the definition of perfect.

The perfect friends. The perfect lovers. When in reality there were a million miles away from that.

There was nothing sort of perfect.

They all had their demons and their secrets hidden beneath their wide smiles and sparkling eyes. Some of them had sinned, and they believed that their souls were no longer pure but instead rotten, while some others desperately tried to fight the dark which was nested inside their hearts and finally, some pretended to be someone they weren’t so that they could feel something instead of pure emptiness.

There were millions of lies separating them, but there was one truth keeping them together from falling apart. And that was the need to heal, to feel and love. And perhaps that was all that truly mattered right then and there.

Their truth mattered the most because none of them had a choice then do some of the things they had done. And even though they were completely different from each other, they somehow fit each other like lost puzzle pieces and somewhere deep down, behind all the lies, choices and experiences, they were all one and the same.

In each other, they had found a piece of Wonderland; a safe place where they could share with each other a little bit of their madness lightening the weigh they carried. Each time they all got lost in it, they desperately wished whatever they had would last forever.

Armie felt a nudge on his side, Henry’s elbow digging in his skin trying to wake him up from whatever daydream he was in.

“I’m sorry what you were saying?” He asked, looking at the raven-haired man.

“Do you have plans with Timmy tonight?” Henry asked. From the corner of his eye, he saw Alexander going to open his mouth to say something but immediately closed it the second his brother shifted from his place next to Henry. The raven-haired man noted the small exchange between the twins and made a mental reminder to talk about it with Armie when they would be alone.

“Not that I know of,” Armie replied, looking back down at Timmy who was still resting with his head on his shoulder, the soft curls hiding the boy’s eyes from him. Armie didn’t like that and carefully moved them away from Timmy’s eyes, the boy scrunched his nose up in the cutest way possible, making Armie’s tummy flutter with fondness.

“I’m going to spend the night with Alex and Haz out our flat, I want to spend time with them before they leave,” Timmy said softly keeping his eyes closed, avoiding the gazes of his lover and friends.

That was all it took for the spell around them to break. The happiness and the warmth slowly dying down inside their stomachs, getting replaced with emptiness and a cold icy feeling which would slowly freeze everything in its wake. They all knew up to some point what was going on to follow right after.

All these days, minutes and seconds were the calm before the storm, which was bound to break loose with the departure of the twins; however, nobody knew how bad it would be.

They all had an uneasy feeling about it, even Alexander and Harry themselves who had an idea of what was waiting ahead of them. No matter how hard they’ve been trying to push their feelings of uneasiness and uncertainty away, the feelings somehow kept re-surfacing. And with Timmy’s words, all the kind of feelings flooded the small dorm room because now everything was as real as it could be and only a few hours were left till their worlds would twist upside down and they would be kicked out of their Wonderland one by one.

Henry was suspicious of their sudden trip to England, and no matter how many times Harry had done everything in his power to reassure him that it wasn’t anything important, Henry still wasn’t convinced and had second thoughts about it.

Timothée was afraid. He wasn’t sure of what. Mainly because all he had was a gut-twisting feeling as well as millions of thoughts which went through his mind. Terrifying possibilities of what could be going on and they so urgently had to leave and what it was liked with. He knew the twins had secrets, and some of them were dark. The only thing he could do was wish that his beloved twins weren’t in danger.

He was afraid for himself. He had the tendency to do foolish things when the twins weren’t around to keep an eye on him. And now he was terrified of doing something which would end up destroying him.

Saoirse, much like Timothée, wasn’t too fond of Alexander leaving. Each of then had different reasonings behind their wish.

She had a bad feeling about it and deep inside, she was scared because she somehow knew that the reason why Alex and Harry were leaving was for no good. She had desperately tried to persuade Alexander to change his mind and not leave, but as she had expected, her words had fallen on deaf ears. Alexander had told her that he didn’t want to go either, but he had no other choice, and that told her a lot. All she could do now was try to get familiar with the idea that everything was going to change for her and Alexander the moment they returned from England.

Harry was anxious but at the same time thrilled to get to London. He couldn’t wait to see his family, which he was dearly missing and finally be able to shed light on various matters which would, at last, get everything in order.

His younger twin though was afraid. Alexander was afraid of facing once more the demons he had tried to leave behind him. Ever since they had received the phone call informing them that they were needed back in England, his nightmares had returned more powerful, and terrifying and as real as ever, leaving Alexander a breathless mess. He didn’t know how many nights he had stayed up in a row, his mind running faster than he ever would.  Fear had numbed all of his senses, and no matter what did to try and get a grip on himself and deal with his fears, they always clawed back harder than him in the darkest hours of the night. His screams and tears which nobody seemed to notice, echoed and burned through the empty streets of Paris.

Armie, on the other hand, was the only one who wasn’t too worried about it. Sure, he sometimes got pangs of paranoia hitting him out of nowhere, mostly because of Henry and his conspiracies but also because in some deranged part of his brain he somehow believed that their trip somehow tied back to him. He didn’t know how or why anything like that would happen, although he knew it was probably because of the unexplainable feeling he had that Alexander somehow knew everything about him but even with that fact he couldn’t make sense of what was actually going on.

He nodded slowly and turned his head to press a soft kiss in Timmy’s curls. He wasn’t mad at Timmy. He believed he understood the reasoning or at least whatever was Timmy’s motive, it being their years-long friendship and deep affection for each other or something deeper which he couldn’t see or comprehend.

He wasn’t Alexander, after all. He couldn’t read people or understand them too well, hell, he could bearly understand himself sometimes.

One thing he knew for sure was that if he was in Timmy’s position and Henry left for the weekend, he as well would want every single second with him.

He looked at Henry who had changed his position now, no longer sitting next to Armie but was sitting between Harry’s spread legs with his head on his chest. Their fingers were laced together, sitting on top of Henry’s stomach.

He smiled fondly, feeling happy for his best friend. Although Henry was suspicious of his lover sometimes, it was evident that he was the happiest he had ever been and Armie knew it was because he was able to stop pretending and finally embrace every piece of himself.

He turned his gaze away from them to Alexander and Saoirse cuddled together on Henry’s bed. The British man was holding the petite and elegant girl gently in his arms, his head was resting on top of hers. Her blue eyes were shut, cherishing having Alexander close to her knowing that she wouldn’t get to see her lover till Monday evening if everything went according to what the twins had planned.

In Armie’s eyes, Alexander looked peaceful and content too, unbothered by everything around him, solely focused on the beautiful girl in his arms, which he seemed to be pretty enamoured with.

Mimicking Alexander, Armie turned his focus to his own lover. He cupped Timothée’s face gently in his hands and brought their lips together in a chaste kiss. Timmy’s hand came up to Armie’s face, and he softly stroked the man’s cheek. Armie smiled on his lips and closed his eyes, thinking that not only he was happy when everything around him seemed to go wrong, but his closest people, the people he loved were happy as well.

Their lives were never worse, but never better.

 

-

 

Timmy stepped inside the flat and closed the door behind him, leaning on it. He let his eyes fall shut as the sweet sound of the old Steinway piano slowly overtook his senses. He exhaled slowly and set his backpack, which was filled with clothes for the weekend down by his feet. He stayed put, unable to move from his spot, completely relaxed. All of his stress and his worries had dissolved into thin air with Alexander’s breathtaking playing.

When he finally remembered how to use his feet, he slowly pushed himself away from the door and walked towards the shirtless man on the piano bench, leaning over the piano. Timmy watched the muscles in his toned back and arms move as the older boy played, his long fingers moving smoothly and across the piano keys almost as if he was caressing it, the same way he would do to a lover.

Timmy suddenly wanted to be the piano, the lover, anything to feel Alexander’s fingers touching his skin as gently and sweetly as he did with the piano.

He ran his hand slowly down Alexander’s back and heard the man exhale and shiver underneath his touch, but his playing didn’t cease nor stuttered. It remained precise and flawless, his fingers moving a bit faster playing a wonderful and dramatic crescendo, which made Timmy’s eyes close and his toes curl inside his shoes. He breathed out once more when Alexander finished playing and leaned back on Timmy, the younger boy wrapped his arms around him and pressed a slow kiss on the side of his jaw.

“That was amazing.” He whispered softly.

“Thank you, petal,” Alexander whispered back and tilted his head up to Timmy, silently begging for a kiss. The smaller boy smiled and pressed his lips on Alex kissing him slowly.

Alexander’s eyes fluttered shut the second he felt Timmy’s lips on his. He kissed the boy back slowly, savouring the taste of his lips, wanting to be able to have it on his lips for as long as he could to keep him from going mental while he was gone.

They pulled back feeling breathless. The smiles on their faces were soft, filled with unconditional adoration for each other.

“What was the name of the song?” He inquired as quietly as he could, not wanting to ruin the small moment of bliss.

“En rêve, nocturne by Franz Liszt,” Alexander mumbled back his silky voice caressing Timmy’s ears.

“Can you play it again, please? I really liked it,” He whispered tracing carefully with the pad of his fingers Alexander’s cheek.

“Of course, baby.” The British boy smiled and lifted his hands from his lap, where they were folded and positioned them back at the correct keys. He drew in a deep breath through his nose and shut his eyes as his fingers started playing by memory the tune Timmy had liked so much, wanting to please the boy in every way he could while emptying his head from the evil thoughts which seemed to haunt his restlessly.

Alex wasn’t a big fan of Liszt. He found him a little bit too dreamy too full of hopes, things Alex had long lost and perhaps that was the reason he couldn’t understand him.

He preferred Rachmaninoff, a contemporary but not modern composer who was heavily influenced by Tschaikowsky. Alexander adored the man’s mind, believed he was a musical genius who was dedicated to his music and his philosophical melancholy and variety of tone fascinated him. He deeply enjoyed to play Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor, and although to him it didn’t sound quite right because he obviously was able o play just the piano and didn’t have an orchestra behind him, he enjoyed it nonetheless.

Timmy moved away from Alexander and took a seat on the loveseat a little a little further away from the baby Steinway as he liked calling it. He kicked off his worn-out converse and folded his legs under him, leaning his head on his hand on the arm of the sofa.

He closed his eyes, relaxing once more.

A kiss suddenly was placed on top of his head and then a weight dropped down on the seat next to him. Harry had joined him. He opened his eyes and turned to look at the oldest twin who was pouring wine in three wine glasses Timmy hadn’t noticed before on the coffee table before him. He eyed the bottle of Merlot as Harry placed it on the table. He hoped the three of them would get to finish it all tonight.

Harry offered him a glass, which he happily accepted with a smile. They clinked their glasses together, and Timmy took a sip while Harry leaned back on the sofa and crossed his naked legs.

Timmy slowly moved closer to the older boy wanting to be held by Harry and relax against him while listening to Alexander playing beautiful tunes one after another. Harry smiled and raised his arm, allowing Timmy to curl himself in his side. The smaller boy pressed a kiss on Harry’s naked shoulder and smiled up at him, his green eyes bright matching Harry’s.

They laid there for a while, not exchanging a word, choosing to enjoy their wine and music. Timmy basked in the warmth radiating off Harry’s body, feeling content as if everything was finally as they should be even thought it was way far from that.

When Alexander stopped playing Timmy was lost inside Harry’s kiss, lying on the sofa underneath the older boy who had already sneaked his hands under Timmy’s clothes and caressed the skin of his sides.

Alexander stood up from the bench and walked towards them, kneeling down by the sofa and carefully observed the way Timmy’s lips moved against his brother’s and the way the smaller boy panted and quivered under Harry’s touch. He took one of the wine glasses which were set on the coffee table and leaned his back on it, his eyes never leaving the two of them as he slowly sipped the vintage wine.

Timmy let out a soft moan and gripped Harry’s naked shoulders in his hands, digging his blunt nails on the skin as Harry grounded their hips together.

Harry pulled back, a smirk gracing his features and he leaned down, locking Timmy’s lower lip between his teeth, tugging on it before letting it go. He leaned back on Timmy’s thighs going to remove the boy’s sweater thinking that it would be much easier if he did it instead of Alexander who would most likely lose all sense of control he possessed and ravage the small boy as his own.

“I want Alex to undress me,” Timmy whispered, lifting a hand up and with a long delicate finger, he traced an imaginary line between Harry’s collarbones down to his stomach towards the waistband of the black boxers the man was wearing.

Harry shook his head.

“No, my little love.” He mumbled, leaning down to carefully suck, not wanting to leave a mark on the skin on Timmy’s neck.

“Please,” Timmy whimpered and tangled his fingers in the mess of Harry’s curly hair and moved Harry’s head away from his neck, looking at him in the eyes. Harry’s hands stilled on his sides, and his gaze burned Timmy’s skin, making him shy away from the older boy and turn to face the neglected younger twin he craved. He withdrew one of his hands from Harry’s back and reached out to touch Alexander, begging for him with his eyes.

“Si’l te plaît,” He whispered softly caressing Alex’s cheek. Alex nuzzled his nose in Timmy’s wrist and pressed his lips right where his pulse was the strongest, letting it flutter against his lips.

Timmy bit his lips, but it wasn’t enough to contain his smile.

“Let me, brother,” Alexander mumbled, looking away from Timmy to Harry who didn’t look amused at all with their little affectionate touches. Alexander knew he was treading on thin ice, but he didn’t mind risking it. If the ice broke and he fell in the freezing waters, he would hold his breath, gather every piece of physical and mental strength he had and make it to the other side. Anything to reunite with his lover.

Harry got off Timmy, stood up and held his head straight not looking at them as he walked out of the living room, his broad shoulders squared making him look broader and stronger than he already was. He kept everything he wanted to say inside, after all, when they would return, nothing would be the same, and that was somehow enough to calm him down and keep him from snapping. They would get to work, and everything would fall into pieces.

He decided he should give them at least one night to be whoever they wanted to be because it was the last time they would be like this. At least he hoped so. Or else they would end up sacrificing and risking much more than Harry would like to, and if that happened, he would have to sleep with one eye open at night.

Alexander moved from the tiny space between the sofa and the coffee table and walked next to the piano where the switch of the lights was and lowered them, making them dim. He turned around to see Timmy approaching him with careful and slow steps, his eyes trained on Alex almost as if he was under a spell, his eyes hungrily taking in the sight of the half-naked older boy only clad in skin-tight black jeans which hugged his strong legs in the most delicious way possible.

Alex took a seat at the piano bench and opened his arms allowing Timmy to slot himself there and place himself on the man’s lap, his hands on Alexander’s bare shoulders, digging his fingers in the skin.

The older boy slowly pulled Timmy’s sweater over his head, surprised to find Timmy wearing nothing under it. Usually, the boy would be wearing layers under layers of clothes to keep himself warm.

“Why are you in just a sweater, petal?” Alexander questioned gently running his fingers down the planes of soft and pale skin on Timmy’s chest. Timmy shivered from the touch which was almost feathery and pressed an open-mouthed kiss on Alexander’s lips, his mind already feeling hazy from the lust which was overpowering all of his senses.

“Because I know you will do anything to keep me warm.” He breathed out, caressing Alexander’s back. Alex smiled softly on Timmy’s lips and cupped the boy’s face in his palms, pressing their mouths together in a searing kiss which was enough to send Timmy to heaven and hell at the same time.

“I will do anything to keep you warm,” Alexander admitted easily when they pulled back, looking at each other with clouded eyes and darkened lips. Timmy smiled and closed his eyes, nuzzling his head in Alexander’s neck, leaving a gentle kiss on his Adam’s apple.

“Take the rest of my clothes off,” He whispered in the man’s skin while he continued trailing his own fingers down Alexander’s shoulders, to the inside of his arms, feeling how every muscle moved under his touch.

“So bossy, petal.” Alex let out a soft chuckle and instead of doing as he was told he latched his lips around one of Timmy’s little rosy nipples and gave it a firm suck. Timmy’s reaction was immediate. His breath got caught inside his throat, and a soft pleasured moan escaped his parted lips. His long fingers tangled inside Alex’s short hair and pressed his head closer to his body, wanting and needing more, all of what Alexander could offer.

“Are you trying to prove to me that you’re the boss?” Timmy breathed out, his hold tightening on a few strands of brown hair as Alexander switched to his other nipple, continuing his assault. He rolled the tiny bud experimentally between his teeth before pulling back with a smirk.

“Oh, I believe I do not have anything to prove, my dear.” He said, nosing along Timmy’s jaw as his fingers trailed down Timmy’s soft body, stopping at the waistband of his jeans. He toyed with it for a few seconds, and with one swift movement, he pulled himself away from the bench, falling down on his knees in front of Timmy.

“No, you don’t.” Timmy breathed out, looking down at the British man who was on his knees right in front of him. A position showing so much vulnerability yet so much power.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes when he felt the man’s hot mouth leaving slow kisses on his stomach, going lower. His wicked tongue came out to lick a line from beneath Timmy’s belly button towards the top of his jeans.

Timmy placed his hands back in Alexander’s hair when the older boy hooked his fingers in his jeans and forcefully pulled them down Timmy’s skinny hips without even bothering to unbutton them. The boy’s boxers went down along with his jeans, leaving Timmy fully naked in front of the British man.

If someone else were in front of Timmy in Alexander’s position, Timmy would have felt uncomfortable and uneasy, insecure about his thin body and all the bones poking out on his chest, hips and knees. But not now, not when Alexander was looking up at him with eyes clouded with lust and adoration.

“You’re a fucking masterpiece, petal. Every bone, every inch of your skin, is incredibly made. So smooth and soft, you’re perfect for me.” Alexander said, his voice a few tones lower, sounding deeper and sultry, making Timmy’s hair stand and his heart inside chest his stop.

Timmy parted his lips to breath easier when Alex’s lips came in contact with the skin of his hip bone, kissing and nipping it. Alexander’s mismatched eyes never left Timmy’s as he continued his ministrations. He placed his hands-on Timmy’s small hips and pulled him closer to him, before spreading his legs and latching his lips on the inside of his thigh giving the skin there a hard suck and bit down on it causing Timmy’s legs to almost give out.

“Alex, please.” He whispered breathily, his chest moving up and down quickly as he looked down with lust filling his eyes. Alexander looked up at him and ran his tongue over his dry lips, wetting them a bit.

“What do you need, petal?” He asked, already knowing the answer. His mouth was inches away from Timmy’s hardened cock, which was a bright pink colour from the lack of attention, his hot breath hitting it, making it twitch.

“Your mouth, please, Alexandre-” Before he was able to finish his sentence, Alexander’s warm mouth was wrapped around his hard cock, and his large hands were gripping his thighs tightly. Timmy almost fell over, his knees stuttering from the electricity coursing through his veins.

Timmy cupped Alexander’s sharp jaw, stroking it softly with his thumbs watching as his cock slid in and out of Alex’s red lips.

His brain had left his head, his heart was swimming in his stomach, and all he wanted was more, more, more. All of his senses where being held by the British man. Every thought, every feeling, every sentiment started and ended with Alex.

He parted his lips and let out a low moan when Alexander started sucking harder, his hands pulled Timmy closer, taking him deeper in his mouth, eventually taking all of Timmy.

The smaller boy was reminded once more than even though he was receiving the fantastic blow job; Alexander was the one entirely in control, not him.

The thought of the power Alexander held over him, and the warm mouth wrapped tightly around his cock were enough to make his legs buckle.

Alex pulled away, breathing heavily through his parted, shiny, spit-slicked lips.

Timmy ran his fingers through Alexander’s hair and smiled softly. The man looked beautiful, more beautiful than he had ever seen him. His lips were shiny from his spit and Timmy’s pre-cum, his cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were wild just like his short curls.

Alexander slowly ran Timmy’s length along his sharp jawline, letting the pink tip rest on his lips. His tongue came out and ran teasingly along it, licking away a bead of pre-cum which had gathered on the slit before taking it back inside his mouth, letting his tongue linger on the underside of the head, teasing the sensitive spot there and Timmy almost came.

“Dieu, your mouth,” He moaned out moving his hands from Alexander’s hair to his shoulder’s, holding them tightly trying to keep himself from falling over as Alex swallowed him all down his throat sending him over the edge.

Timothée came with a loud cry of Alexander’s name, breathing it out over and over like a sacred mantra only he knew of.

Alexander kept him in his mouth for a few more seconds milking all of Timmy’s orgasm and pulled back after swallowing.

“You taste so good, petal. So sweet, my love.” Alexander mumbled as he stood up, his legs slightly shaking from being on his knees for so long. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and pressed his lips on his, kissing Timmy slowly and languidly. Timmy ran his tongue over the older boy’s lips, coaxing him to part his lips. Alexander gave in and allowed Timmy’s tongue, invade his mouth, running it over his, tasting himself on Alexander’s tongue.

The older boy lifted him in his arms, Timmy wrapped his arms and legs around him and continued kissing him as Alexander pressed them on the wall, tapping Timmy there with his body.

“Je veux que tu me baises,” Timmy whispered on Alex’s lips, doing his best to pull Alexander’s black jeans down. The older boy shook his head, leaning his forehead against Timmy’s.

“Not yet petal, not like this.” He whispered, shutting his eyes tightly, holding Timmy as close as possible.

“Why?” The smaller boy almost cried out from the rejection. Alexander shushed him quickly by pressing his lips on Timmy’s in a soft kiss, the smaller boy eagerly kissing the man back, slightly relaxing in the tight grip he was held in.

“Because if I ever have the chance to be with you intimately, I don’t want to just fuck you against a wall and then leave the next day, baby. I want to take it slow and enjoy it, make sure both of us will remember it forever because it will be a one-time thing and I want it to be engraved in my memory till the moment I die.” He sincerely answered, hiding his face in the crook of Timmy’s neck, knowing very well that he wouldn’t be able to control his feelings and the tears which were threatening to fall from his eyes.

He was vulnerable, Timmy and his love made him vulnerable. They humbled him and humanised him, stripping him away from the cruelties he had committed, from the evil thoughts inside his head and the masks he wore for people, different for every person he came across.

“Is that alright?” He asked, his voice cracking and then breaking, making the soft question more heartbreaking than it already was.

Timmy inhaled sharply, his legs tightening around Alexander’s body trying to press him closer to him, till they became one body with two heartbeats and a shared soul. He cradled Alexander’s head in his hands and joined their foreheads, closing his eyes as well, but a tear was already making it’s way down his soft cheek, his heart too full of love, ready to burst.

He nodded multiple times, pressing his lips back on Alex’s.

“More than alright.” He whispered through his tears, a tiny smile gracing his lips.

Harry closed his eyes and leaned his back on the wall of the hallway which connected the living room with the bedrooms and the bathroom as well as the spare room which they had turned into an art room and a library.

He covered his face with his hands and let himself slide down the cold wall. His heart or whatever was left from it ached for his brother and Timothée.

He hated being cold-hearted and harsh to Alexander. And he absolutely loathed being the cause of his brother’s unhappiness by doing everything in his power to make him keep his distance from the boy he loved with every piece of himself when he knew first hand how Alexander had gone through hell. Every time each time he got close to someone, they would turn to dust right before his eyes, and he had to stand there watching as they disappeared into thin air without being able to do anything. Yet somehow, he and Timmy worked.

They reminded Harry of the tale Alexander used to read from one of their mother’s books on Egyptian myths. Harry always failed to understand the meaning of it but of course, Alexander being the clever one, understood it. Or maybe he understood it because deep down he knew the legend was real.

The myth was of Osiris and Isis.

The two were born as twins, and their connection and love was something that no one was able to understand due to how deep it was.

Then Osiris one day got kidnapped and killed by his brother Set.

While grieving, Isis became one with Osiris spirit, and they had demi-god child, Horus. Set, driven to insanity by his anger caused by Isis act, cut his brothers body up to fourteen pieces. Isis showing her eternal and undying love for Osiris gathered his body parts and did everything she could to heal them until Osiris came back to life.

Harry grounded his teeth on his lower lip, finally understanding the myth he was unable to understand when he was just a child.

It talked about the origins of deep connection and how love could heal any kind of wound and transcend death. And he could see both of these unravel in front of him, one more metaphorically than literally.

When Timmy had come into their lives, his brother, his Alexander, the boy who lived in the shadows ever since he was a boy, was a dead man for everyone, lost inside his head and his trauma, too far away from reality. And then slowly, Timmy coaxed him out of it, brought him back to life ignoring the pain of his own heartbreak. Alex, in return, did the same for the smaller boy when Timmy needed it. Went to unspeakable lengths to please the boy and put a smile on his delicately featured face even when the demons inside his head howled to be released.

 Somehow the two found a pattern and slowly started healing together.

There were still some wounds which would re-open and bleed from time to time but as long as they were together, they could close them up. Which was exactly why Harry hated knowing how everything would soon be taken away from them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the weather is lovely innit.. What are your thoughts on Alex and Timmy? Harry? Armie, Henry and Saoirse? Who's your favourite character so far?  
> Come yell at me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves! How are you all? I hope you all had a lovely week.  
> I wanna start by warning you about the containing of this chapter which got a little bit out of hand because I don't want you to come for me in the comments.  
> First of all, this chapter is all about Timmy and the twins. All about them. Armie is mentioned at some point I think but other than that it's the twins and Timmy so if you are not comfortable with them, don't read.  
> The chapter is mostly smut, with little to no plot so you can skip it if you want to.  
> There's a tiny little barely-there twincest, I'm not gonna tag it because it's minor and it's in only one chapter. If I end up putting more something I doubt I'll end up doing I'll tag it.  
> Everything that happens is consensual so there's that.  
> Thank you so much for the comments and the kudos on the previous chapter it makes me really happy seeing what you guys think about the story although most of you are confused, I promise things will start clearing up as we go.  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think, kudos are always appreciated as well.  
> I love you and appreciate you all so much.  
> Alright you guys I'll see you all next week!  
> Bisous x

A bottle of wine and a half later the three of them were relaxing in the lukewarm water of the bathtub which was about to overflow since they kept filling it with warm water. Their glasses and the half-empty bottle of red wine were resting on the marble self a little above the bathtub. The three-way mirror behind the tap was steamed up from the hot water, just like the big mirror above the sink, tiny drops of water were running down them.

Timmy’s cheeks were flushed from the warmth surrounding him and the wine in his tummy. His lips were redder, bitten and bruised from the sinful mouths of the twins taking terms claiming it.

The smaller of the three was looking at their reflection on the mirror, smiling softly at it. He was resting between the two men. Harry was on his left and Alexander was on his right looking as soft as ever with the soft cloud-like foam which smelled of jasmine covering his body. Timmy couldn’t understand how the taller boy had managed to fold himself in half so that he could be pressed on Timmy’s side. His head was resting on Timmy’s shoulder, his eyes were closed, and a peaceful expression was on his handsome face. Just by looking at him, he knew that Alex had emptied his mind, not a single thought was inside his head and he didn’t care about anything apart from being in the French boy’s arms. And Timmy couldn’t help but feel honoured to be the one who made Alexander’s storm cease into a peaceful drizzle with just a caress or a gaze. He also loved being the one who was able to dance in his storm, blindly knowing that the older boy would never dare to hurt him even when he was in the worst state of mind.

He glanced at Harry, finding him already looking back at him through the foggy mirror. His green eyes were trained on both Timmy and Alex. His gaze seemed to be distant from reality, although it was entirely focused on the two of them. There was no expression on his face, his features were set tight and closed off, giving no indication of what he could be possibly thinking, much like Alexander usually was with a few rare exceptions.

Timmy was concerned about the older boy not used to seeing him like this. He always was so open about his feelings and thoughts, never had dark times or dark thoughts like his brother.

Harry was unable to keep his feelings bottled up inside because in the end, they got the best of him making him feel like he was drowning which was why he always curled up to Timmy’s side and they quietly talked back and forth about what was on their minds, both of them feeling much lighter after.

“Haz,” He whispered and gently placed his hand on top of Harry’s knees which were pulled up on his chest, poking out of the foamy water.

Harry hummed softly and continued looking at Timmy and his brother through the mirror.

“What’s bothering you?” Timmy asked softly, running his hand gently up and down Harry’s leg in a comforting manner.

“Nothing important, babe,” He answered, looking away from Timmy and leaned his head back, shutting his eyes. Timmy wasn’t happy with the answer he received, and although he hated doing it, he pressed in further wanting to know what had caused the oldest twin to close off.

“Tell me, please. Is it about you two leaving tomorrow? Did something happen with Henry?”

Harry let out a low chuckle and opened his eyes, turning to look at Timm, the skin of his neck aching from the hard marble digging into it.

“I was ecstatic to go, but now the closer we get to leaving the more I don’t want to go,” Harry ended up admitting. He sadly knew what was going to happen back in England. He knew up to a certain point what was going to be discussed but had no idea know how bad things actually were.

 Timmy nodded in understanding and gave Harry a small, sad smile.

“I don’t want you to go either,” He whispered blinking away the tears which were starting to gather in his eyes. Harry moved closer to him, kissing the side of his face and wrapping an arm around him, pushing his hard body closer to Timmy’s soft one, the water softly sloshing around them from his movement.

“Don’t cry, lovely; we will be back before you know it, right, Alex?” He whispered, looking at his brother for a bit of so needed reassurance. Things had been tense between them the past few days and they barely talked choosing to keep their thoughts and whatever they felt to themselves instead of fighting knowing very well that it never ended well.

Alex lifted his head from where it was resting on Timmy’s shoulder. He looked serene almost as if he had somehow managed to turn off a switch and shut off all of his thoughts and worries for the storm which was nearing. Or he was simply masking his feelings; if that were the case, it wouldn’t surprise Harry.

“Of course, brother mine.” The slightly younger boy answered with a soft nod and kind, almost sleepy eyes. Harry smiled softly at him and reached his hand out placing it on top of his brothers where it was resting a few inches above Timmy’s ribs, feeling the way the boy’s heart beat beneath his palm and intertwined their fingers.

Timmy smiled fondly, watching the sweet exchange between the twins. It had been evident the past few days that there was a constant tension between the two and to see them fall back together warmed his heart up like it always did when he saw them playfully bantering or did weird twin things as he liked to call them.

He pressed his lips on Harry’s forehead and then Alexander’s and closed his eyes, letting his head rest on top of Alex’s, feeling content to have them both so close to him. He was able to feel their hard bodies on his, without barriers of clothes which rubbed on his skin, occasionally chafed him and left an itchy sensation behind along with a red mark. It felt just like the good old days when they spent their days naked, their legs tangled together and their lips interlocked sharing hot kisses, their hands roaming, exploring each other's bodies but never going further than softly touching and tracing, mapping were freckles and scars littered their skins.

He felt his cock twitching between his legs and was glad the thick white foam covered him from the twins, although he wanted nothing more than to have Alexander’s mouth on him once again. Or possibly Harry’s or both of them at the same time, sharing him, passing his warm cum to each other with their mouths, looking up at him with hazy green and blue-green eyes.

Timmy leaned his head back on the edge of the bathtub, the cold marble biting his neck sent a shiver down his spine. He clenched and unclenched his hand, which he had rested on top of the twin’s hands and moved it lower down his thin body past his stomach, letting it rest on his hip for a few seconds, drumming his fingers on the prominent bone there. Sucking in a breath, he moved his hand lower, wrapping his fingers loosely around the base of his cock which was slowly stirring to life once again, squeezing it in a futile attempt to coax his hard-on away. His eyes fluttered shut at the touch, and his tongue came out to lick his suddenly dry.

Not even a second later, another loose fist was around his cock, and a pair of lips were pulling at his lower lip. He recognised the hand as Harry’s; his hands were slightly smaller than Alexander’s, but the lips belonged to Alex. They were slightly chapped and tasted like Timmy and the wine they had previously consumed, the taste made Timmy feel heady, every single on of his senses slowly awaking and his heart was suddenly puncturing his chest.

Timmy almost blacked out from the sensations; his tiny was body ready to start to quivering with the need to submit to the two dominant Alpha males.

He pulled slightly away from them, taking a breath, willing himself to relax.

He already had his turn now it was time to return the favour, to both of them.

“Kneel over me,” His voice betrayed him once more and what he intended to be strong and commanding, came out in a small whisper. Another boost to Alexander’s ego, he thought.

Despite that, the twins surprisingly did as they were told. Their bodies moulded together into one making Timmy almost preen when he felt that the identical twins were already hard and half-hard for him.

Timmy leaned up a bit and cupped Alexander’s face first in his hands, kissing him slowly and deeply without using any tongue, just how he knew Alexander liked to be kissed. The little devil made an appearance on Timmy’s shoulder, laughing in his ear and pinching his neck with his red pointy pitchfork, asking him if Saoirse knew how to kiss Alexander this way. Timmy shrugged the little devil off and pulled back from Alex turning to his twin and kissed him filthily and hungrily. Harry gave a gentle tug at the baby curls on the back of Timmy’s neck, making the smaller boy in his arms moan.

“What are you going to do with us, love?” Harry questioned, trying to gain back control of the situation.

Timmy licked his lips and slightly spread his legs making the twins look at him with matching questioning stares which he would have found adorable under different circumstances.

He sat up, with his back touching the wall of the bathtub. He carefully moved them by placing a hand on the colossal muscles of their thighs, which Timmy knew he wouldn’t be able to move an inch unless they allowed him to. He positioned Alexander’s left leg between his and doing the same with Harry’s right till the two men were completely kneeling over him, trapping him against the bathtub wall.

Soapy water was running down their gorgeous bodies, licking their chests, the defined muscles of their abdominals and their flat stomachs, down to where Timmy wanted to put his hands and mouth on.

He slowly ran his hands down their bodies, following the same trace the water drops and soap had gone and continued lower, not stopping till he reached the large lengths. And while he wished he could use his mouth and take both of them in till his jaw ached and drool and pre-cum was running down his chin, he wanted to use his hands first, feel their weight and warmth inside his palm, close his fist around them and stroke them to orgasm, have the white substances cover his hand.

He leaned closer to them, running his fingers in an almost teasingly way on Alexander’s large length which was still hard from before, and he knew it because he had seen it when the boy pulled his skin-tight jeans down before getting into the water. He wrapped a loose fist around his cock and gave it a firm stroke, looking up at the man and placed a kiss on the scar on Alexander’s side, feeling him tense up before relaxing.

He then moved to Harry, giving him the same treatment minus the kiss on his side, instead chose to pay a little bit more attention to Harry’s sensitive head.

Timmy looked up at both men, finding them already looking down at him through identically shaped hooded eyes, breathing evenly through their noses. Although he should have felt powerless having two titans of men hovering over him, he felt powerful. Because this was all his power, he had allowed them to kneel over him like this, he had gotten them hard, and he was going to make their thighs shake when he brought them close to orgasm.

He, for once, was going to have them at his mercy.

Something which was easier said than done.

After taking a breath himself, Timmy took them both in his hand quickly coming to the conclusion that he would have to wrap both of his hands around them because his fist couldn’t close.

Harry was long and thick, a little bit over eight inches, which already was a struggle alone. Alex was bigger, easily reaching nine inches to match his broader body, uncircumcised, unlike his brother.

He had seen the large cocks before on several occasions but had never come so close to them, had never held them in his hand or jerked them off.

Harry watched the trepidation in Timmy’s features as well as the arousal because of what was lying in front of him.

There were too many thoughts swimming inside his head, too many changes between things. But this one was inevitable; he knew it would come sooner or later, all three of them knew they had been postponing it since the moment they got comfortable with each other a couple of years ago.

He knew that his attempts to keep things almost clean between them, settling down to just kissing and innocent touching here and there, was slowly coming undone before his own eyes much faster than his brain which was fogged up with lust could process. He could no longer ban them from Timmy and Timmy from them. He clearly had no idea how everything would escalate, but he wished to find out because he wanted it even though he did his best to deny it, having deduced some of the possible consequences.

Were they rolling on the road to ruin? They were indeed, and he was sure that all the three of them couldn’t wait to be enveloped in the scorching flames of hell. After all, the path to paradise begins in hell, as Alexander had quoted from a book Harry couldn’t care less about remembering. When Alexander had said it had found it ironic considering their past and where they came from, but right now, Harry believed that the statement fit perfectly with their situation.

Timmy tentatively started to stroke them, testing their weights and feeling the warmth inside his palm. A comforting hand was placed inside his hair, massaging his scalp, making sure that the small boy was comfortable and doing it at his own pace.

Timmy smiled up at Alexander, thankful for the gentle comfort he was offering him, putting Timmy first instead of his most carnal needs which he seemed to be in complete control of. The only indication that Timmy’s action wore any kind of effect on him was his aching cock which had been at some level of constant hardness since he gave Timmy one of the best blowjobs of his life.

He glanced at Harry, finding him with his eyes shut, his head leaned to the side, enjoying the building up pleasure.

Timmy took that as his cue to wrap his other hand too around them, tightening his grip and moving his hand more surely now with purpose, determined to pull a reaction from the heterochromatic man. The water and soap made the slide easier, and Timmy was quick to guess, more pleasurable for the boys.

He pressed his bitten red lips on the muscles fluttering on Harry’s tummy, running his tongue playfully over them while using one of his hands to rub the reddened heads which were already leaking copious amount of pre-cum. Timmy bravely leaned forward and playfully ran his tongue over them, tasting the salty, tangy and slightly bitter from the soap taste of them.

Harry’s breath hitched at the teasing touch of Timmy’s clever tongue and he bucked his hips up, his cock rubbing against his brother with a low moan. Alex, on the other hand, didn’t even flinch and Timmy couldn’t help look up at him, meet his electric gaze trying to figure out how he could have such an immense restraint and why he didn’t give in.

He could see that his different coloured eyes had darkened and they were entirely focused on him. His eyes scorched his delicate skin making Timmy feel as if he was touched by flames of arousal and something carnal, far more dirty and raw.

Then suddenly, one of Alex’s large sizeable hands came down and touched his face, in the most gentle way possible. He ran his thumb over Timmy’s sweet and full lower lip, pulled it momentarily until the rest of his fingers came to rest on his jaw, never breaking eye contact with the boy and Timmy started feeling dizzy.

He wished to know what Alex was thinking and if he was thinking of using his warm mouth in any way he could, just like Timmy wanted him to do. He wished to know if Armie would use him like this too. If his ocean eyes would have the same electrifying and dizzying effect on him. He finally found himself wishing that Armie was there with them in Harry’s place standing next to Alex, caressing him and tangling his fingers in his wet curls on the back of his neck and moving his hips languidly, slowly fucking up in Timmy’s hand.

He swallowed deeply and leaned into Alexander’s gentle touch feeling one of Alex’s fingers run over his Adam’s apple, his thoughts making his cock which laid forgotten between his legs pulse.

And then something inside Alexander was unleashed, and his hips moved forward with force as a low curse fell from his lips.

Timmy made sure to keep a tight clamp around their heavy lengths and lowered his eyes from the twins down to his hand, watching in utter fascination as the younger twin started to fuck up in his hand, his hips moving strongly as he did most of the work to get himself and his twin off. Harry slumped against Alex’s strong body, his hand finding leverage in the muscles of his thigh, digging in his skin but Alex was unrelenting.

His movements were precise, calculated even in this state and Timmy couldn’t help but wonder if this wasn’t the first time they had done something like this.

Alexander’s breathing pattern started to change, falling in sync with his twin’s. Their chests were moving up and down in quick pants, moans and long exhales leaving their sinful lips, and Timmy swore he had never witnessed anything more beautiful in his life.

The sound of a low, throaty growl followed by kissing filled the room and Timmy instantly looked up. He had thought he had seen everything in his life, every aspect of the twins and believed that there was no way they could get hotter.

Boy, was he mistaken.

Timmy wished he had seen who had initiated the filthy liplock between the two identical men. He believed it was Harry from the way his lips sealed Alexander’s in a wet and sticky kiss. His tongue pried Alexander’s lips open, their tongues coming in contact for a mere second before he harshly bit down on his brother’s lips.

Harry could feel the monster which never truly subsided, but he tried hard to conceal, unravel inside him, ready to claim any willing soul as his. Thankfully, before things got too far, his orgasm hit him like a tidal wave, Alexander’s mouth silenced his moans which sounded more like a growl, his taut stomach clenched and unclenched as he released. He pulled away from Alex to watch as his come covered his brother's cock and Timmy’s small hands milking his orgasm.

Alexander, who always had the most impressive stamina inside him, started faltering and Timmy couldn’t help but look up at him, his mouth instantly going dry.

The man looked ready to fall apart, the longer hair on the front was wet with sweat, clinging and curling delicately on his forehead. His eyes were closed lost in the sensations, his cheeks, neck and chest were flushed red from the heat, and his lush lips were parted, allowing the man to breathe easier and let out low curses and husky moans which tickled Timmy’s ears.

He came with a growl of Timmy’s name, bliss instantly washing over him, his vision whitened out and his mind going blank, the only image which remained there was Timmy on his knees for him.

 For them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, thoughts on the chapter? Anything?  
> Come hang out with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves! How are you all? Thank you so much for the comments and the kudos in the last chapter, I appreciate them so so much.  
> Now, this chapter was a pain in the arse to edit, I kept writing too much and cutting out too much to the point I decided to split it in half because so many things are going on in here and it would be very tiring to read. Besides the technical difficulties, this chapter is one of my favourites, especially Alexander's part. I hope you all enjoy it as much I enjoyed writing it.  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think. Kudos are always, always appreciated and I can't thank you enough for them.  
> I love you and I appreciate all of you.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next week!  
> Bisous x

Paris, the city of lights. The city which has lights in every corner of every street, lighting up the paths for people to freely walk around at nights without feeling scared.

Paris, the city of love, and romance. The city which makes you want to fall in love even if you don’t want to, with all its clichés and hopeless romantics who live in a different, romantic era where everything was beautiful and pure.

Paris, the city full of lights yet somehow still full of darkness at nights. Full of thieves, drug addicts, lost teenagers burning their futures for a moment of sweet relief, longing for a pseudo touch of love and full of all kinds of sinners.

Alexander had seen it all.

He had seen every single one of these people as he ran through the pouring rain, trying to get away from the reality which would very soon swallow him all up, drag him back down and make him even more of a sinner than he already was.

The night was cold, and the rain was falling hard on the streets, almost as if it hated everything the human hand had created, including Alexander himself.

His clothes were clinging on him, and his hair was wet even under the hood. The cold was chilling his body, and the rain felt like a thousand knives on his skin, but he felt nothing. He had seen colder worlds; he had been in colder states of mind.

He ran even faster when he saw a boy, a few years younger than him stumble out of an alley, looking lost as ever, probably high on whatever drug he had taken. He was skinny wearing just a thin white shirt and had dark hair. He resembled Timmy and just that could make his heart stop and slightly feel bad for the poor lost soul.

After swallowing and shaking his wet hair out of his eyes, he made his way up the Montmartre hill, desperately wanting to reach Sacré-Coeur.

When he had woke up about an hour ago, he was drenched in cold sweat, his body shaking all over from the nightmare he had.

He usually had nightmares of his past, of the night he lost the person who was able to tame a little bit his demons. He could clearly hear the echo of bullets inside his head, feel the pain on his side and tasted the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. He remembered the sound of panting, fighting for breath and different voices screaming at him and him begging, tears flowing freely from his eyes. He remembered waking up to hospital lights blinding him and hearing the news that his beloved friend hadn’t made it.

He remembered the darkness filling his heart and mind. Voices inside his head screaming at him that he should have done something, he could have saved her. He could –should have been in her place.

This time it was different.

It was even more terrifying because nobody was hurt physically but mentally.

He had hurt Timothée. The boy, his precious petal had found out the truth about the malicious thoughts inside his head and the monstrous things he had committed, and like any sane person would have done, Timmy left him.

And even though it was a dream, a dream which lasted approximately a few mere seconds, it was enough to scar him more than any bullet or knife could ever have.

Because he knew it would soon become reality.

A few minutes later, he was in front of the Sacré- Coeur Basilica. He slowed down his pace till he reached the first pair of marble stairs which laid up to the beautiful Roman Catholic church.

He tilted his head up to the skin, his hot tears mixing with the harsh raindrops falling on his face. He closed his eyes and removed his hood, slowly crumbling on his knees on the harsh pavement.

He breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of the rain and wet grass and brought his hands up to cover up his face before letting his head drop, his chin touching his chest.

He stared up to the cross on top of the church. He felt small and unimportant in front of the wonder humans created years ago, in front of the house of a God he couldn’t see but felt the need to ask to be forgiven, be exempted of his sins and pray, hell he would beg, make a sacrifice if it meant he would be heard.

He somehow never felt farther from who he was and closer to the power of the divine.

He was almost in a daze. His mouth was dry, and his breathing shallow, his muscular body shaking as quiet sobs roared inside his chest begging to be released.

“I was damned the day I was born. I don’t know if it was your doing or someone else’s, but that’s who I am! A damned kid who grew up to be a sinner man with very little to no good in him.” Alex spread out his arms and let out a dry chuckle, the hot tears making his eyes sting.

“You took the person I loved, the person who made me good, only to fill me up to the brim with even more demons than I already had. You made me feel grief, guilt, remorse, and I couldn’t do anything to save myself from drowning in the shadows of insanity — a constant battle of slipping in and out of it, a permanent unrelenting chase with the darkness inside me and defending screams of pain. You left me here and watched me battle with my demons when you could have taken me instead of her. Me, not her! She was good, she was pure, and what am I? I’m a sinner man who has nowhere to run to.” His voice quietened.

He let himself slump forward, bracing himself up by his arms and let his head hang between his shoulders. He allowed his tears to run down his cheeks, not being able to keep them bottled up any longer. The teardrops were hot a complete contrast to the cold rain which was falling on him.

“After breaking me, you brought me Timothée, my Timmy, my petal. The most precious thing, I’ve ever held in my bloodied hands.” Alexander smiled through his tears, his eyes wrinkling at the corners, his heart beat picking up the pace, warming up his cold soul.

“Every time I get to touch him, hold him, wake up next to him or even breath the same air as he does, I feel redeemed. Like everything I’ve done doesn’t matter anymore, like the wings on my back aren’t for her, but they are for me, and they mean that I’m closer to being good with him. Because he makes me good, but he is better than I’ll ever be. He is made of love and light, there’s nothing dark about him, and that’s why I love him. Because he is the light of my heart. The warmth in my soul.” He closed his eyes, bringing back in his mind beautiful imagines of Timmy. Of the way he smiled and laughed open-heartedly with wild sparkling eyes.

“They say that You are fair but, are you really?” He whispered, looking up again.

“I know You’ve never believed in me and You probably never will, but please, don’t take him away from me.” He cried out in desperation, digging his nails in the pavement beneath him, the hard stone floor cut his fingers, tearing his skin and making him bleed, a reminder that no matter what how strong he tried to be, all he was, was a weak human being.

“Don’t let me hurt him.” He whispered brokenly leaning back on his knees. He shut his eyes, feeling his breath slowly and his mind going blank, finally finding somewhat of inner peace as the rain continued pouring over him, washing away his sins and his pain, rebirthing his soul.

 

-

 

Timmy woke up with the sound of a door closing and immediately shot up on the bed, fearing that the twins had left him without saying anything, without kissing him goodbye and smothering him with their love and soothing words, letting him know that they would be back soon.

Looking next to him, he found Harry fast asleep and instantly relaxed, his shoulder slumped, and his heart slowed down. He smiled softly and pushed the man’s curls away from his forehead and pressed a soft kiss on his skin before carefully moving away from the bed.

He grabbed a sweater from the chair next to the chair of Alexander’s bed and quickly put it on padding out of the room while rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with the paws of the sweater.

There was light coming from the bathroom, and there was water running, meaning that the younger twin had just come back from a run. Timmy bit down on his lower lip, instantly feeling bad for the older man who probably hadn’t gotten any sleep considering how early it was.

He moved to the living room and opened the lights to the lowest setting, not feeling ready to deal with harsh lights just yet. He curled on the loveseat and pulled the end of the sweater down to cover up his knees. He laid his head on the armrest and closed his eyes, waiting for Alexander to come out from the bathroom.

A few minutes later, he heard the water shut off, and the bathroom door opened. Footsteps were coming closer, and a warm presence was next to him. Timmy looked up at the taller man, with a soft smile and sleepy eyes which reminded Alex of a kitten.

The older boy sat down and pulled Timmy onto his lap with the small boy instantly curling into his warm embrace.

“Where were you?” Timmy asked groggily, looking up at the older boy. Alex hushed him gently and kissed his lower lip softly.

“We’ll talk later, petal. Get some more sleep, okay?” He whispered, brushing his fingers through Timmy’s soft messy from sleep curls.

“No, I want to stay awake with you,” Timmy whispered back taking Alexander’s other hand in his and laced their fingers together, running his thumb over Alex’s knuckles. The older boy exhaled sharply at the stinging pain and nodded, pressing a kiss on the side of Timmy’s face.

“What happened to your hand?” The smaller boy whispered, looking at Alex worried while he gently stroked his cut knuckles. The older boy shook his head.

“Nothing to worry about, petal.” He said with a soft smile and swallowed as he ran his fingers gently down his lover’s soft cheek, his different coloured eyes never leaving Timmy’s face, staring at him, drinking in and memorising every detail. From the tiny moles and marks to the freckles and the shapes of his nose and lips as well as the colours of them and the way they felt under his calloused fingertips.

Timmy looked up at him and ran his thumb over the corner of Alex’s eye, watching as the older boy fluttered them clothes, his eyelashes leaning down to kiss Timmy’s skin.

“You’ve been crying.” He whispered, feeling his heart drop in his stomach. He heard Alex exhale slowly before opening his eyes to stare back at Timmy.

“Why?” Timmy whispered.

“Was just overwhelmed,” Alex replied with a barely-there smile. Timmy gently thumbed the soft skin of Alex’s under eye.

“Are you afraid?” He questioned glancing up at him once more.

Alexander shook his head no and dropped a kiss in Timmy’s curls, holding him tighter against his body.

“No.”

“You’re lying.” Timmy accused softly laying his head over Alexander’s heart, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

“I’m terrified, petal. Not just scared.” The older man mumbled looking down at him.

Timmy stiffened in his arms before curling closer to him and started running his hands down Alexander’s broad shoulders to his arms and back up, trying to offer some kind of consolation.

“Is this why you left in the middle of the night?” Alexander nodded.

“Yes, I had the need to pray.” Timmy looked at him, confused.

“Pray? I thought you don’t believe in God.” Alexander smiled, one of his usual heart wrenching bittersweet smiles.

“Everyone prays in the end, petal. Even me.” Timmy in his sleepy state could gather very little, not enough at all to understand Alexander’s perfectly calculated and worded sentence to conceal any emotion and indication about what could be possibly happening and it was way too early for him to make any speculations. He was starting to realise that whatever the situation was back in England with the twin’s it must be much worse from what he had been anticipating.

Sighing, he pressed himself closer to Alexander till they were pressed flush against each other and wrapped his thin arms around the older boy’s bulky frame in an attempt to hide Alex from the pain of the world.

He brushed his lips on the collum of Alexander’s throat and attached his lips on Alex’s skin, sucking it lazily while shutting his eyes.

He heard the older boy exhale steadily and gripped his shoulders not wanting Alex to pull him away from him. Alexander understood Timmy’s movements and placed one of his large hand on the inside of Timmy’s inner thigh and thumbed at it gently before raising Timmy’s sweater higher revealing to him more of the delicious milky skin.

“What are you doing, petal?” Alex asked, closing his eyes.

“I’m trying to take your pain away,” Timmy whispered in a tiny sleepy voice.

 Alex’s lips lifted up in a small smile and let his eyes flutter shut. He gently tangled his fingers in Timmy’s soft curls and pulled him away from his neck, brushing his lips ever so gently over Timmy’s before kissing him softly.

“Wanna suck you off,” Timmy mumbled softly, pawing at Alex’s towel-covered crotch. He hooked his fingers on the edge of the towel only to be chastised by the older boy.

Alexander ran his thumb over Timmy’s lips, coaxing the small boy to part them. Timmy parted his lips, wrapping them around the digit, giving it a long suck. He hummed in content and opened his sleepy eyes for a mere second to look up at Alex before closing them again.

“You’d need morphine to numb my pain,” Alex mumbled, pressing his lips on Timmy’s forehead.

-

 

Pauline’s smile was welcoming, and her embrace was warm, familiar and soothing. Exactly what Timmy was looking for.

The house was like it had been the last time he had visited, white, minimalistic and smelling of coffee and alcohol, almost like a hospital, minus Pauline’s perfume.

They were sitting on the sofa, Timmy’s beat-up converse were kicked off by the door, his socked feet were tucked under him, and a warm cup of coffee was in his hands.

Pauline was sitting next to him, mimicking his position, feet tucked under her and cup of coffee in her hands. Timmy was expecting to see his sister changed, tired, older than she looked but was pleasantly surprised when he found out she was the same old Pauline he had left behind a few years back.

Her eyes were still the same green shade, and her hair were in the same weird straight style. Her smile was bright, matching his. She had no lines on her forehead or by her eyes. She was cracking jokes and laughing open-mouthed and obnoxiously, and Timmy was glad he had gone home for a couple of hours.

“As much as I missed you and I’m glad you’re here, I can see that something is off,” Pauline said setting her mug on the coffee table and then took his and placed it on the coffee table too.

Timmy looked down at his now empty and slightly red from the warmth of the cup hands and sighed, lacing his fingers together.

“I’ve messed up big time Pauline.” He mumbled, not looking at her.

“I know, if you’re seeking shelter to me, you’re in deep shit.” She joked, and Timmy almost smiled with a half-hearted chuckle.

“I met someone a few months ago.” He said softly. Pauline remained quiet waiting for him to continue.

“He is good to me, he is too good actually, and I’m happy he makes me so happy, and I have feelings for him but-” He paused to breathe and dug his fingernails inside his palm to ground himself, counting to three before letting go.

“I feel like it’s a Wonderland.” He whispered, looking up at her.

“A Wonderland?” She questioned, furrowing her thin eyebrows.

“Yes, he and I make a Wonderland along with some people we both love, including the twins, his best friend and Alex’s girlfriend. I fear that the love and friendships we’ve developed are a beautiful dream and they will end one day, and I’ll wake up, and I’ll no longer be lying next to him but in an empty bed. I’ll have to live with the pain of losing him, so I’m trying as hard as I can to stay tied down to reality.”

“What’s your reality?” She placed her chin on the back of her hand, staring at him.

Timmy smiled, looking back down at his hands and curled himself further in the big dark blue sweater.

“The twins, Alex specifically.” He mumbled shyly.

“He came to see us a couple of days ago,” Pauline said with a soft smile which instantly made Timmy perk up.

“He did?”

“Yes, we had coffee together. He looked very stressed, had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was dishevelled.” Timmy frowned at the newly revealed information. He suddenly felt saddened by the fact Alex didn’t confide in him when he needed it but instead found safety in his sister.

“Did he say anything? Perhaps the reason why he was the way he was?” Timmy asked, leaning forward, licking his lips, his eyes focused on Pauline.

“No, not really. He just said that he is going to England with Haz for the weekend.” She answered, looking at him with a small smile.

“Yeah, they left before I came here.” He whispered, feeling defeated.

Pauline raised an eyebrow looking at him.

“You’re expecting a different kind of answer, weren’t you?” Timmy nodded timidly.

“My feelings for him changed, not changed but, they.. re-surfaced I guess in a way I wasn’t expecting, and I was just hoping he would have said something about me.” He mumbled, taking his cup from the coffee table, needing something to occupy his hands.

Timmy looked at his sister as she let out a soft chuckle and shook her head, leaning forward to place her hands on his.

“He doesn’t have to talk about you, Tim. His eyes speak for him. He cares and loves you more than he loves himself.” Timmy ducked his head, letting his long curls cover his blushing cheeks.

“So what did he do here? Other than having coffee with you?” He questioned trying to avert the subject from him and back to Alex before Pauline started asking more questions about things he didn’t have answers.

Pauline shrugged in indifference.

“He spent a lot of time with mum. He always does when he visits. I don’t know what they talk about but when he walks out he looks lighter.” Timmy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“He visits often?” Pauline nodded.

“A few times a month. Sometimes he stays for a couple of minutes and other times he stays for a couple of hours and talks with mum.”

Timmy looked down at his hand, the small frow between his eyebrows not leaving as he rummaged through his brain trying to find answers to all his new questions about the man who the more he closely he looked at, the more mysterious and fascinated he became.

“I didn’t know that,” He mumbled looking at his sister.

Pauline shrugged not knowing what to say.

“He has been coming around since last year when you moved back to France.” Timmy nodded although he didn’t understand what was happening or why Alex had hidden from him the fact he visited his mother. He brought his coffee cup up to his lips taking a long sip from it as he tried to wrap around his head Pauline’s words and find a logical explanation but came up with nothing.

“I’d like to meet Armie sometime,” Pauline said after a few beats of silence.

Timmy nodded, withdrawing his cup from his lips, savouring the taste of sweet hazelnut.

“I can arrange it.”

“Will you see him today?”

“Yes, we’ll meet in the evening, we might go for dinner somewhere. I’m not sure. I want to invite him back to the flat after, I don’t know possibly spend the weekend with him there,” Timmy muttered looking down at his cup.

Pauline hummed in agreement and leaned back on the arm of the sofa.

“You should spend the weekend with him. Familiarise yourself with him and your feelings, get to know him intimately. Make him a part of your reality.”

Timmy opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by Pauline.

“I know that your feelings for the twins are weighing you down and that’s okay and understandable because your relationship with them is strong, perhaps the strongest you’ve ever had with someone but if you like him as much as it seems like you do, let him in. Let him possess you and envelope you.”

Timmy swallowed, hearing the words he had heard more times than he could count with both hands.

He knew his sister was right.

And truth is, he really wanted to open up himself and stand vulnerable in front of Armie just like he was with the twins, but he didn’t know how to achieve the level of intimacy and trust he had with them. He didn’t know how to break down all of his walls or take leap and land safely in Armie’s arms without losing any piece of him. Without coming out as too much with his fears and insecurities and his needs to be someone’s first choice and to have someone as a safe place.

“And remember Timmy, you can never truly escape Wonderland. Even when you think you’ve walked away from it, crawled back up the tree and gotten yourself out of the rabbit hole, you haven’t. Things just get crazier and in the end, you realise you haven’t suddenly just gotten mad, you’ve been mad all along. You can have anything you want Timmy; you can have Alex, who’s your friend above all, your protector and your anchor to reality and Armie, your lover, ton copain the person your heart chose as her other half. It’s obvious that you love them both, in different ways and you don’t want to lose them so go ahead and have them both without hurting anyone. Put limits. It’s going to be hard at first, but it’s the only way.”

Timmy felt like his breathing had escaped his lungs, Pauline’s words felt like a punch in his stomach. The more he thought about them, and the more he analysed them inside his head, the more he saw how right his sister was, and how he had been seeing things from the completely wrong angle.

He looked down at his hands and breathed slowly in and out from his nose and his parted lips.

He could have them both.

One of them was the other half of his soul.

And the other was the other half of his heart.

He could only be whole if he had all of his pieces together.

“I’m going to see how mum is,” He whispered, placing his cup on the coffee table and stood up. Pauline looked up at him, looking unsure.

“Are you sure you want to see her?” She asked softly.

Timmy nodded softly.

“Yes, I want to see her.” He replied, taking a deep breath bracing himself.

He made his way out of the living room and walked down the hallway where his mother’s room was located. He placed his hand on the doorknob and let it rest there for a couple of seconds debating with himself whether he should knock and go in or leave, go back to talking with his sister and get more enlightening answers.

Sighing, he closed his eyes for a mere second and lifted his hand, softly knocking on the door. He had missed his mother, and although she wasn’t quite herself anymore, he still loved her and cared about her.

His mother’s voice came out small and muffled from behind that door and Timmy took another long second to brace himself before opening the door of the room.

Timmy found his mum standing in front of the big window, which was bringing in light in the small room. He looked around the room, finding it nearly empty. The walls were a hospital white, and there were little to none personal belongings.

He walked towards the small desk next to a closet where a few picture frames were resting on. In the biggest frame in the middle was a picture of him, Pauline and their mum on a beach. All three of them wearing big smiles, their eyes shining with happiness and their hair wild because of the wind.

A small smile appeared on his lips, reminiscing the day the picture was taken. It was a couple of days before Emma left for her trip to Vienna. It was early spring, and they had gone up northwestern France to Mont Saint Michel. He and Pauline had gone horse riding on the beach when the waters had drawn back. They had picked up seashells along with the locals who collected fruit de mer and they either served them right there and then with a slice of lemon or steamed in the tiny little restaurants hidden inside, on the street which led up to the Abbey.

Timmy closed his eyes, and suddenly he could hear a distant sound of waves gathering back up, the shore disappearing as the high tide returned. Emma’s bubbly laughter filled his ears, his mother’s voice calling his name, Pauline teasingly telling him that if he ate too many oysters, he’d have to sleep with someone to control his raging hard-on. He had laughed, shook his head and continued stuffing french fries and oysters in his mouth, his eyes twinkling from the few sips of wine he had consumed.

Breathing shakily, he opened his eyes, finding himself back in the unfriendly and cold white room. His fingers were shaking as he held the picture frame, and he quickly put it back down on the desk, afraid he would drop it.

He took a step back and balled his hands into fists at his sides, making them stop shaking and took a look at the pictures on each side of the big frame.

 On the left side was a picture of Emma, her big eyes were captivating even through the photo, her lashes were long, framing her brown eyes, her blonde hair was long, falling past her shoulders in loose unruly curls and there was a small smile on her lips.

Timmy could easily say that she missed her. He missed the calming aura which seemed to follow her, the gentle petting he received whenever he laid with his head on her lap and listened to her talking about the mysteries of the universe. He wished he could go back in time and walk around with her through Forêt de Rouvray, sit down and watch as deers walked around proudly and small squirrels looked for nuts around the trees.

He wished she was here to guide him, tell him how the human heart works and that whatever he was feeling wasn’t wrong.

On the other side was a photo of him and Pauline and he decided not to pay too much attention to it, after all, they still had each other.

A soft hand was placed on his shoulder, making him stiffen under it although he had felt it more times than he could count ever since he was a little boy. He breathed out gently and turned to face his mother, or to put it in correct words, a stranger who looked like his mother.

He stared at her for a few long seconds. Both mother and son remained silent, their eyes taking in each other, and while Timmy’s hazel eyes recognised the person in front of him, Nicole’s stormy blue eyes couldn’t recognise her son.

Timmy tore his gaze away from her not being able to handle the emptiness behind her eyes. He thought that after all these years, he would have got used to it, but as usual, he was mistaken. It still hurt him and at this moment, more than he could have ever imagined.

Her voice was soft as she greeted him with a gentle but impersonal hello. Timmy gazed up at her through his curls which had covered his face from her, hiding his hurt feelings.

“Hello mum,” He whispered, his voice shaky as his mother brushed his hair away from his face in the same gentle manner she used to do when he was little. He let his eyes fall shut, pretending for a mere moment that with some sort of a miracle, she remembered him.

He leaned into her touch, exhaling slowly and embracing the familiar contact with open arms, quickly realising how different it felt being touched by his own mother in comparison to the twins and Armie.

Timmy had missed it. He almost felt as he was starved of it and before he could think about it twice, he wrapped his arms around the shorter woman and held onto her tightly. He closed his eyes and laid his head on her shoulder, breathing in the scent of her hair, the scent which had comforted him throughout his whole childhood and half of his teenage years.

He stroked her back gently as they slowly swayed, his eyes filling up with tears as his mother tenderly caressed his hair.

“Do you remember me?” He whispered sniffling and used his hand to rub his eye, not allowing the treacherous tears to escape from them.

They pulled back slowly looking at each other once more. His heart broke more and more inside his chest as seconds which seemed as long as aeons passed and there was no answer, no word escaping from the woman’s lips. And then, when his wings were about to completely get crippled and fall apart, and he was ready to get thrown in the scorching pits of hell, she spoke up.

“You are my son.” Her words and voice were soothing like a balm, easing the burnt tips of his wings. Timmy smiled wetly and nodded multiple times.

“How you’ve grown.” She whispered lifting her hand up to carefully trace his features. Timmy watched her as she gently thumbed his eyebrows and cheeks, feeling his skin under her fingertips. The lost stare, her eyes seemed to have slowly started becoming less hazy, less lost and more focused. The longer she stared at him the more Timmy believed that he had somehow managed to make her remember some things if not everything.

“You were so little in the photo and now look at you.” His heart sunk in again and he swallowed, realising just how mistaken he was. It stung badly.

He felt his lower lip starting to tremble and he lowered his head, biting the inside of his cheek.

“And, Pauline, she talks about you.” Timmy nodded and led them to the bed needing to take a seat not knowing for how long his legs would be able to him up for. He sat on the edge, his mother right next to him, still holding his hand and watching him –studying him, with curious eyes.

“How are you, mum?” He asked softly looking down at their hands before looking back up at her.

Nicole shrugged and looked at her son with a small smile.

“I’m as good as I can be in my condition. I’m as good as I can get,” Timmy shook his head, chuckling softly.

“I missed you mum, and I’m sorry I don’t often visit,” He croaked out looking at her with sad eyes. His mum smiled gently.

“It’s okay. I know it’s hard for you, it’s hard for me too, but we have different comping mechanism as most humans do. And I already feel bad for having Pauline looking after me all day long, and I don’t want the same from you.”

“Still, I’m sorry mum, I promise I’ll try to do come around more often.” Nicole smiled at her son and cradled his curly head in her hands, pressing a soft kiss on his hair.

“You won’t hear me complaining,” Timmy smiled and wrapped his arms around her middle, nuzzling his head in her tummy, allowing her to continue petting him, happy to finally have some sense of normality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Alex's heartbreak? We finally got to meet Timmy's sister and mum! How do we feel about them?  
> Come hang out with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all? I hope you had a lovely week.   
> So this chapter is kind of a little one and kind of messy because well, I didn't have time to edit it due to some real life things and a bit of writers block which has been dragging me down the past few days and I wasn't even sure if I was going to post tonight or not but you guys deserve it so here we are, raw and unedited looking a little bit rough but it is what it is. I hope you enjoy it.  
> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments on the last chapter I appreciate them very much!  
> Thank you so much for sticking with me all this time and I hope you can excuse me for this very short chapter, I promise the next chapter will be much much better and satisfying.  
> I love you all and I appreciate you very much.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday!

The air was cold; the tip of Timmy’s nose and his cheeks were flushed red from the nippy air while his curls were windswept, hanging all around his face and no matter how many times he had brushed them away from his eyes, they always seemed to come back.

When there were strong gusts of wind, the small boy would immediately curl close to Armie who like he had no problem dealing with the harsh weather. Armie lightly teased him about being a cold cat but nevertheless held him closer and dropped a tender kiss on his hair, sometimes a lick on the tip of his nose making Timmy slap his chest and giggle breathlessly.

Despite the cold weather neither Timmy or Armie wanted to go shelter themselves somewhere rather preferring to enjoy the beautiful and medieval feeling of Marais.

When Armie had suggested they go somewhere for dinner, Timmy immediately told him about a place he knew in Marais. Armie had easily agreed, trusting Timmy’s taste and he was far more than rewarded.

Le Marais was gorgeous and incredibly charming making Armie immediately fall in love with the many-faceted district and its narrow cobblestone paths, the historical spots which he couldn’t help but stop and stare in fascination, the small vintage boutiques, restaurants and cafés where amazing smells wafted from as well as the quirky street art.

“You know I’ve never heard of Marais,” Armie told Timmy as they walked around the cobble stoned paths. Timmy nodded as he leaned closer to the older boy seeking warmth.

“I can’t say I’m surprised. Le Marais is the neighborhood us French, and especially the Parisians like to keep to ourselves. It’s a gem in the middle of the city with its unique atmosphere and different architecture from the rest of Paris.”

“It feels like we’ve stepped into a completely different place where French is the main language again.” Armie mused as he stopped them, taking in the way dark green vines crawled on the wall of a café sneaking around the rusty red canopy sheltering the window and the tables underneath them.

It was a beautiful sight, something so European, utterly different from what they had in New York.

“It’s even more beautiful when it’s covered in soft white snow.” Timmy looked up at the older boy with a soft smile, feeling delighted about how Armie stopped to stare at things that caught his eyes. It showed Armie’s soft appreciative side for art, or whatever could be defined as art. He was sensitive, and Timmy liked that.

“We should come back when it snows; I’d like to see it,” Armie said, taking Timmy’s hand in his and intertwined their fingers.

Timmy smiled with a nod and leaned up to press a kiss to the corner of Armie’s lips.

“We will as long as you hold me in your arms so I won’t freeze and turn into an ice statue.” Armie turned to him, cupping his face into his large warm palms.

“Although it does sound appealing watching you turn into a beautiful work of ice art, I think I’ll have to pass on that.” Timmy shook his head with a chuckle, his already messy windswept curls flew everywhere, covering his eyes from Armie.

“You should, or else you won’t be able to feel this again,” Timmy said and leaned up, on his tiptoes, pressing a soft kiss on Armie’s lips.

He felt Armie stiffen for a long second before he relaxed, kissing Timmy back in the same soft way the small boy had. Armie brushed Timmy’s hair away from his forehead as they pulled back and looked around to see if anyone had noticed them but was pleasantly surprised when he saw that they indeed had received a few stares, but the eyes of the people weren’t harsh or judging like Armie was used to seeing, they were almost accepting.

“You’re right.” He said, looking down at Timmy.

“I wouldn’t like not being able to kiss you or hold you again.” He caressed Timmy’s porcelain cheek and leaned in to leave a kiss on the boy’s forehead.

Timmy closed his eyes, breathing out slowly through his nose and fisted Armie’s sweater in his hand, pressing himself as close to Armie as he possibly could.

“I wouldn’t like to be without you either.” The smaller boy sincerely admitted looking up to his lover. Timmy watched as Armie’s features suddenly softened even more than they already were, fondness for him took over the older boy’s ocean eyes. His eyes lowered to Armie’s throat, watching his Adam’s apple as he swallowed. Timmy smiled softly and leaned in again to press another gentle kiss on Armie’s parted lips, feeling joyous for being the reason Armie looked in complete loss of words due to the love he felt.

For the first time in his short life, he felt like he was in control of his feelings. He knew what he was feeling, and he was able to separate the reality from fairy tales and wonderlands. Everything was finally clear of fog and misty like confusion which held him back from letting his emotions, his true emotions, to envelope his heart and his entire being.

He didn’t know for how long it would last but he wanted to get the best of it, be the best version of himself before the approaching storm would tear his fragile heart apart and he wouldn’t know where to stand anymore.

Armie wrapped one his arms around the small boy allowing him to nuzzle close to him like a small kitten as the two walked past small stylish boutiques and shops selling vintage clothing as well as antiques.

“So tell me more about Marais.”

“Well, it’s as close you can get to the feel the medieval Paris. It has the eldest buildings and streets completely intact, some date even before the French revolution. The riches used to stay here, as you can see by the beautiful architecture of some buildings but after the revolution, they left and poor bohemian people as we like to call them moved in. The city officials wanted to destroy it and modernise it because they thought it was the dirtiest place of the whole of Paris, but people protested. Most of Paris was like this, cobble stoned streets and labyrinth-like but Napoleon and Haussman changed all of it, they build vast avenues and squares.” Timmy explained as they turned into a small alley.

“Oh God, it would have been beautiful if it was full of pretty streets like this. Why did they do it?”Armie questioned looking at his younger lover.

“Isn’t it obvious? To keep the poor in check and the army and artilleries could move around freely.” Timmy frowned, and Armie hummed before chuckling to himself feeling slightly stupid for not figuring it out. At that moment with the way Timmy had worded the sentence, Armie felt as if he was talking to Alexander and he could swear he had heard the slow rumble of his voice echoing as Timmy talked.

“Do I smell falafels?” Armie suddenly asked. Timmy nodded enthusiastically with a smile breaking on his lips.

“Yes, we’ve entered the Jewish district at Rue des Rosiers. It has the best falafels dans tout Paris!” Armie laughed fondly, loving Timmy’s excitement and the way he switched to his mother tongue.

“Didn’t know there is a Jewish district.”

“Le Marais is the most famous Jewish districts in Paris called The Pletzl meaning ‘little place’, it has a beautiful Museum of Jewish Art And history which is housed at the Hôtel de Saint Aignan. It’s also a big LGBTQ+ community.” Armie nodded, finally understanding why the stares they had received where fond ones.

“I thought I saw a gay bar somewhere.”

“There are quite a few. There are also gay coffee shops and restaurants, and I think a bookstore. They moved in around the 1980s, and it has been a safe place ever since. There is a rainbow pedestrian crossing painted on the road at the intersections on Rue du Temple and Rue des Archives.”

“When you kissed me, people stared, but it wasn’t the usually disgusted stare, it was something almost kind and loving.” Timmy nodded at Armie’s words.

“I told you people here aren’t like in the rest of Paris; they accept everyone due to the multiple cultures that reside here. It’s not just Jewish, and LGBTQ people, a quite big amount of Chinese people who appeared during World War One. The French needed workers to replace the ones who were in battle, and China sent a few thousand of its citizens and well after the war some left, but a lot of them stayed, and most of them have settled around Place de la République.”

“How do you know all these?” Timmy shrugged.

“Emma taught me a lot of the things I know. Her knowledge was extensive, she was like Alexander in a way, she knew things not many people knew or cared to know about. She read a lot too, and sometimes I would see her writing down the things she knew so she wouldn’t forget, I guess. I remember every day when we would wake up there would be a pale blue coloured note on the fridge stuck on with a Starry Night magnet she had got from Holland and it would say a different fact. Some days it was about a painter, some others it would be historical, about an important day or a politician, possibly a place. ” The smaller boy explained with a small, sad smile as he recalled the fond memories.

“My dad was kind of like that too.” Armie swallowed and tightened his grip around Timmy’s waist.

“Tell me about him,” Timmy requested softly, knowing that family was a sensitive issue for Armie.

Armie stopped walking and pressed his nose down on the side of Timmy’s forehead, shutting his eyes and breathed in slowly, the tension in his body slowly leaving as Timmy soothingly stroked his side.

“He was a smart man, one of the smartest I’ve ever met. He was well educated, went to good colleges but he always told me that it doesn’t matter where you go, it matters who teaches you, and life teaches you way more than any school will ever will.” He let out a small chuckle.

“He was kind and respected everyone, and sometimes I think that’s what ruined him. He was always too loyal, too good of a person to be a businessman.” He continued bitterly.

“Why are you saying that?” Timmy questioned looking up at the upset man.

“He was too understanding sometimes almost naïve and easy to be manipulated by my mother and her cunning ways.” Armie exhaled. Timmy remained quiet for a few seconds, his heart lingering on Armie’s side feeling the way he breathed under his palm.

“What’s your favourite memory with him?” He finally asked his lover wanting to shift the subject to something more comfortable for Armie to talk about. And it seemed like it did the trick when he felt Armie slowly relaxing and smile gratefully down at him.

“It’s a childhood one. Back home at my house, we had a big garden where Henry and I would play with our dog, Milu, we would drench each other with the hose and play soccer. It was winter a few days after Christmas and it was snowing like hell and it was like 7 in the morning, Henry and I were still sleeping, and he came to our room woke us up and dressed us in huge sweaters and winter coats and we went out in the garden. We had a snowball fight, and I remember him laughing so loud and smiling so wide having the time of his life something which was so unusual because he was such a serious person.” Armie’s smile was bright, warming his insides up more than any sun or any jacket ever would.

“What?” Armie asked with a laugh when Timmy forgot to say anything and looked up at Armie with a loving smile etched across his soft features.

Timmy cupped Armie’s face in his hand and brought him closer to him till their lips were inches apart and Armie’s cold breath was fanning over his red lips.

“I think I’m falling in love with you.” He finally whispered, gazing up at Armie through his thick lashes.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this tiny fluffy chapter?  
> Come chat with me on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all? I hope you all had a lovely week!  
> Thank you so much for the comments and the kudos on the last chapter and I'm so sorry I took so long to answer them.  
> This chapter is..a hot mess. Literally. It's kind of angsty and smutty and sort of a roll coaster of emotions for young Timothée. Now like I've said before smut isn't too easy for me, I find it extremely hard to write and I doubt I'm any good at it so, if it's messy and bad, you know why it's that way, but I promise you, I did my best!  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think. Kudos are always very welcome as well.  
> I love you and appreciate you all so so much.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday,  
> Bisous x

It was late when Armie walked Timmy up to the door of his flat. After the two had shared early dinner in Marais at Chez Mariannes, the two met up with Henry for a couple of drinks at a small pub near their university.

When they decided it was about time to leave Timmy said that he was going to return to his empty flat, wanting to stay there for the weekend, Armie immediately offered to walk him to make sure was alright.

The two giggled on the way back as they held on to each other and stopped at corners here and there to press hungry kisses on each other's lips. Their wicked hands and fingers were roaming all over each other's bodies, gripping onto whatever skin they could find under the layers of clothes they wore.

“This reminds me of Rome.” Timmy breathed in Armie’s ear when the older boy pinned his smaller body to a wall and attached his lips on his neck.

“This is much better than Rome.” Armie panted on his skin before leaving a hot, open-mouthed kiss there and pulled back, taking Timmy’s hand in his again.

“Why is that?” Timmy questioned when they started walking again towards his building only to be stopped by Armie. The older boy turned him towards him, facing him and looking deep in his eyes as he held his chin between his fingers.

“Because back then we were strangers in the night but right here, right now, we’re falling in love.” Timmy’s breath came out stuttered. The short sentence set a heavy weight on his shoulders and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Sure, he was the first one to voice the fact that they were slowly falling for each other, the feelings were there, and it was hard to deny them.

Hearing Armie saying them was different. It was more serious. More final because they mutually felt it and Timmy couldn’t regret it, laugh about it and back away.

Once again, Timmy felt like he was torn in two, all the confidence he had felt when he had suddenly dared to voice his feelings had subsided.

One part of him wanted to run. Run till his legs ached, his chest was burning, and there wasn’t a single thought inside his head.

While the other part of him wanted to stay, agree with Armie and wholly accept him as a part of him, a part of his reality because he was, he indeed was, and Armie wasn’t lying when he said that they are falling in love.

At that moment, he wished he was like Alexander, who was able to precisely calculate what he should do and say next under each possibility, depending on given the circumstances. But he couldn’t. He wasn’t as smart as Alex, as flexible as him and he didn’t know how to read people and the situations he found himself in.

All he could do was nod dumbly and smile at Armie.

“Yes, we are.” He admitted once more, knowing that the words he had voiced were true but had no idea where it would lead them.

To him, that was the most terrifying thing of it all; Not knowing how things could possibly end. And well, the categories were two; they would either end in paradise or thrown into burning flames of hell, but each of them had a few too many possibilities which didn’t really comfort Timmy’s overriding mind.

He watched as Armie smiled,  the beautiful wide smile of his which made Timmy’s heart and mind ease and forget about the possibilities of possibilities, heaven and hell.

Armie leaned forward kissing him softly and sweetly, his blue eyes falling shut at the soft brush of their lips pressing together. Timmy closed his eyes too when the older boy pulled back and ran his tongue on his lower lip savouring the sweet taste of his lover’s mouth and instantly cursed himself for thinking he would ever want to give whatever they had up.

He opened his eyes and breathlessly stared up at the older boy with golden hair.

His mother’s words came back in his mind, setting an inner peace all over his anxious spirit.

“I knew that I loved Emma when I looked into her eyes, and I felt like our souls were coming out of our bodies to hug each other.”

Timmy right there and there understood her. He believed that if he didn’t have Armie in his life, he would never be able to understand her or feel this way.

A soft whimper bubbled up inside his throat, and he leaned forward to pressed his lips back to Armie’s, sealing their lips together once more. He heard Armie breath in sharply and felt him fist the collar of his sweater, bringing their bodies closer till they were pressed chest to chest.

Timmy took that as his cue to slightly pull away and take Armie’s hand in his continuing their journey silently, back to his place.

While Armie enjoyed their walk through night Paris, back to Timmy’s place, Timmy could feel his heart beating like crazy inside of his chest as they approached his block of flats.

He swallowed when he watched it coming into view, his indecision coming back full force; _should I tell him to stay or should I ask him to leave?_

What will happen if I tell him to stay?

Do I want to be alone in a house full of memories?

He shivered at the possibilities which flooded inside his head.

They walked in the building, and Timmy made a beeline for the lift and pressed the button calling it. He leaned back on Armie’s side and shut his eyes not wanting to see the way the reversing numbers on the panel above the lift, knowing that along with the floors lessening his time was running out too.

Then suddenly everything went quiet inside his head when the little devil on his shoulder appeared once again and started painting images of Alexander kissing  Saoirse with a tenderness Timmy believed Alexander treasured just for him, behind his closed lids.

He exhaled slowly thinking about if he would be able to keep tearing his heart in two so each man could have a piece of it and use it as they pleased. And if he did, for how long he could keep going before he bled out because of his wounds?

He didn’t want to give up on one of them to be with the other because both of them meant something to Timmy and somehow together they filled the void inside his heart, but he couldn’t see another way in order for him to survive.

When the doors opened, he fluttered his eyes open coming face to face with the reflection of him, and Armie pressed close together in the mirror. He smiled fondly at the image of them somehow realising that, this was right.

Armie let out a fond chuckle when he saw a loving smile forming on Timmy’s sweet lips at their image.

He guided Timmy in the lift. Timmy pressed the button which would take them up to the third floor where his flat was located. He let out a long breath when the lift’s door closed once more, knowing that the decision he had taken would change a lot of things soon but had no idea how it would affect all of them.

A few long seconds later, the doors opened again, and they walked out, still holding hands.

Timmy broke away for a second to unlock the door of his flat, leaving Armie to stare at his sweater covered back.

When Timmy turned back around to face him, he walked towards him and leaned down to capture their lips in a slow kiss, in an attempt to convey through it that he didn’t want to go yet, but he also didn’t want to push his lover knowing that he had a hard day.

He slightly pulled back before Timmy leaned up, on his tip toe’s and wrapped his arms around his neck, drawing them back in, in another lip bruising kiss which Armie couldn’t get enough.

When they withdrew from each other needing to catch their breaths, Armie affectionately let his lips rest on the smaller boy’s forehead.

“I had fun tonight,” He muttered on his skin, the dark brown curls tickling his face as he gently spoke. He heard Timmy hum softly and move closer to him intertwining their fingers once more.

“I did too,” He said in an equally soft tone and pulled back to look at his blue-eyed lover. When the older boy swallowed, Timmy leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on his Adam’s apple.

Armie’s eyes fluttered shut at the soft and innocent touch.

“Should I say goodnight now or when I return to my dorm?” He questioned meekly.

Timmy bit his lip and gently tagged Armie closer to him.

“You should stay with me tonight.” He whispered slowly as he walked through the door of his flat with Armie following close behind.

“You want me to?” Armie’s heart hammered inside his chest with hope. Timmy nodded with a small smile.

“I want you to,” He whispered back shutting the door behind them.

Armie nodded. A smile he couldn’t contain appeared on his lips as he looked around the flat finding tiny little details which screamed Timmy or one of the twins.

“Let me take your jacket,” Timmy said gently as he started unzipping Armie’s jacket while looking up at the taller boy with glazed-over eyes.

“Thank you,” Armie huskily said watching as Timmy leaned up, on his tip-toes and pushed the jacket off Armie’s shoulder’s letting it fall with a thud behind them. Timmy licked his lips and leaned in close to the older boy, stroking his cheek with the back of his hand.

“I think I drunk too much and you’ll have to carry me to bed,” Timmy whispered on Armie’s lips, his hazel-green eyes flickering up at Armie’s.

Armie smiled fully knowing that Timmy wasn’t even close to being drunk but used his own teasing words from the night they had met.

“You’re lightweight, I know.” He whispered, running his hands down Timmy’s sides, letting his large hand rest on the slim hips.

Timmy smiled and closed his eyes when Armie’s lips met his in a lip bruising kiss and pressed him on the wall by the door. Suddenly Timmy was lifted up by strong arms. His skinny legs immediately wrapped themselves around Armie’s waist, and his arms were around his neck, bringing Armie even closer to him.

Armie bit down on Timmy’s lower lip and gently pulled at it with his teeth stealing a soft moan from the smaller boy before latching his lips on the sharp jawline, nipping it slowly.

“I’m gonna take care of you, baby.” Armie breathed out heavily on Timmy’s skin, sending shivers down the boy’s spine.

“Please,” Timmy whimpered, his mind fogging up with need, his cock slowly hardening inside his jeans.

He felt Armie’s hand smooth down his sides, his long fingers finding the edge of his sweater and sneaked beneath them. His hands were burning hot on his skin, travelling up and down his sides and trailing the gentle bumps of his ribs, thumbing them carefully. Armie leaned in once more, kissing him and pressing his clothed upper half on Timmy’s trapping him against the wall. His tongue glided over once, his movements slowing down, less frantic as he leaned his face away to look at Timmy.

His ocean eyes travelled from Timmy’s almost glassy green eyes down to his cherry, shiny spit slicked lips, looking as sinful as ever.

“Take me to bed,” Timmy whispered without thinking it twice, pulling Armie in again by the back of his neck, brushing their lips together.

Armie immediately lifted Timmy higher in his arms and carried Timmy down the hallway to where he believed his room was located. Timmy whispered in his ear how his room was on the left side of the hallway the second door.

They stumbled in the room, their mouths harshly connecting once more. Armie gently set Timmy on his feet. The smaller body lowered his hands from around Armie’s neck down to his chest and let his palms rest there as Armie leaned his face closer to Timmy’s brushing their lips together before kissing him slowly.

Timmy softly pulled at Armie’s lips as pulled back a bit to gaze up at the darkened ocean eyes. He spread his fingers where his palms were resting across Armie’s chest, feeling the way his heart hammered. His chest was rising and falling quickly, and Timmy closed his eyes for a mere second to bask in the man’s heavy breathing. He lifted himself up on his tiptoes, trailing his lips from Armie’s jaw to his ear.

“Undress me,” He whispered hotly before gently biting down on the man’s earlobe.

Armie stayed still for a moment. He looked like as if he couldn’t quite wrap around his head what was about to happen or was in complete awe of the delicate creature in front of him. Almost as if he was unable to believe that he was going to make the boy he loved his. And although his eyes were blown wide with lust, they were filled to the brim with pure adoration.

Timmy’s lips on his neck made him recover from his trance. With his fingers, he lightly teased the skin of the boy’s hips under the hem of the sweater he was wearing, slowly tugging it up his thin body, revealing more and more of Timmy’s milky skin. He pulled away from the boy just enough so he could pull it off him and dropped it on the floor next to them, before removing his own.

He breathed in deeply, taking in for the first time the beauty that his younger lover was. In his eyes, Timmy was beautiful, perfect with his soft and pale, lightly freckled skin. A perfect canvas for Armie to mark, claim as his.

He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, trailing his fingers up from his sides to his back in the warmest and most loving embrace he could manage. His warm hands pulled Timmy closer to him as he pressed open-mouthed kisses down the side of Timmy’s long and elegant neck. He stopped to close his lips around Timmy’s prominent collarbone giving it a slow kiss before moving to the other, giving it the same treatment, before moving lower to Timmy’s hardened nipples. When he sucked slowly one in his mouth, he heard Timmy exhale slowly, and loosely wrap his arms around Armie’s neck before moving his hands down his back. The warmth of his palms soothing the skin of Armie’s shoulder blades made him press closer to Timmy, and suck harder on the rosy bud causing the smaller boy keen high in his throat.

Suddenly Armie was on his knees in front of the small boy, unzipping and lowering the boy’s jeans, kissing and nipping harshly, worshipping at the prominent hip bones and every single piece of skin he was uncovering.

Timmy tangled his finger’s inside Armie’s golden locks, gripping them tightly and steadying his gaze on Armie, watching as Armie took off his shoes one by one and pulled his jeans down.

Armie leaned back on his knees, tucking his lower lip between his teeth and breathing slowly through his nose looking at Timmy, before exhaling harshly. His nostrils flaring and his eyes turning a breathtaking midnight blue.

“Fuck, look at you, baby.” He said as he gave his hard and neglected cock a squeeze through his jeans. His voice was low and dark, sending shivers down Timmy’s spine.

The smaller boy felt every tiny little stupid insecurity he had, leave his body with the hungry way Armie was looking at him. He swallowed as he watched Armie straightening up to his full height, feeling even smaller now that he was naked.

Armie walked them back slowly till the back of Timmy’s legs touched the edge of the bed. He placed one hand on Timmy’s back and eased him on the bed before hovering over him.

“I’ll go slow, get you ready for me.” He whispered on the skin of his neck. Timmy nodded, parting his lips to breath easier, feeling already high, half because of the nerves and half of anticipation to feel his lover enveloping his whole being.

He closed his eyes when Armie started leaving slow and wet kisses down his body until he reached his navel and playfully traced an imaginary circle with his tongue around it. He left a kiss just above his boxers before standing up. Timmy leaned up on his elbows, licking his dry lips and trying to calm down his racing heart while watching Armie who was unbuckling his black belt and harshly pulled it off its loops before unzipping his jeans and pulling them down his muscular legs leaving himself in his tight black boxers.

Armie kneeled on the bed moving closer to the angelic-looking boy with the messy curly and glassy green eyes, who was his.

All his.

“Relax for me,” He softly said smoothing his hands down Timmy’s parted legs, moving them up again to hook his fingers in the boy’s soft white boxers which were perfectly fiting with his pale skin. He pulled them down Timmy’s legs throwing them in the same direction as the rest of their clothes and pressed a kiss on each of his bony knees before spreading them even more and slotting himself between them and moving up to kiss Timmy once more.

The smaller boy eagerly kissed him back cupping Armie’s face in his hands and pulling him closer to him, effectively pressing his leaking cock on Armie’s stomach making his breathing increase and his green eyes flutter shut. Armie’s open mouth grazed over Timmy’s parted in a silent moan lips. His eyes never left Timmy’s beautiful and flushed face as he moved forward again pushed his hips down on Timmy’s thigh, seeking friction for his aching cock and to slightly tease the boy, loving the way Timmy’s breath stuttered.

“Feel how bad I want you?” He asked. In response, Timmy faintly scratched his nails in a tickle down his back, his spine arching beautifully as Armie continued rocking his hips forward.

“Oui, yes,” Timmy breathlessly answered, nodding his head, feeling already too far gone to make a coherent sentence.

Armie chuckled softly and slowly sucked on Timmy’s neck for a couple of seconds before pulling away, resuming his previous position between Timmy’s gorgeous long legs. He spread the boy’s thighs, even more, baring Timmy completely in front of him. He ran a careful yet teasing finger down the length of Timmy’s cock, making him squirm and gasp, before leaning forward and latching his lips on the skin of Timmy’s taint.

He placed his large hands on Timmy’s thighs pulling the boy closer to him and placed his elegant legs on his shoulders.

“Qu’est-ce que tu fais?” Timmy asked softly, his voice soft but his accent rough, fogged-up from the lust.

“Do you trust me?” Armie asked instead of answering, looking up at his beautiful boy.

Timmy bit his lower lip and nodded softly.

“Oui,” He replied with a small smile.

Armie smiled wide, his eyes wrinkling in the corners, and his heart ready to burst from the love for the boy. He pressed a soft kiss on Timmy’s inner thigh, letting his lips linger there for a few seconds before moving back where he wanted to be the most.

He spread Timmy’s soft arse cheeks and held them in his hands, kneading them slowly as he experimentally ran his tongue over Timmy’s pink puckered hole. He heard Timmy’s breath hitch and his thighs close around his head.

“How was that?” He looked up to Timmy, asking for permission to continue.

“Refais-le.” Timmy breathed out shakily giving Armie the green light and the older boy happily dove back in licking it generously over and over with purpose. All Timmy could do was moan when Armie finally breached him with his tongue his hot mouth meeting Timmy’s hot insides, his back curling once again and his fingers found Armie’s golden locks.

Timmy closed his eyes, unable to keep them open. He had never felt anything like it before. He had been fingered, and he had been fucked but never liked this.

It felt heavenly.

Armie’s tongue was long and wet, moving in and out of him, swirling inside him and rubbing against his velvety walls deliciously. It made the hair on Timmy’s soft legs stand.

He felt his breath leaving his body when he felt Armie somehow managing to go deeper and felt his teeth pressing around the soft skin around his tight hole when the older boy started sucking his reddening rim.

Each suck left him breathless and felt as if electricity was coursing through his veins straight to his cock, which laid forgotten and dripping on his tummy.

Suddenly Armie’s warm mouth was gone, and a long finger was circling his hole before slowly entering it up to the knuckle. He looked down at Armie, finding the older boy already looking at him. His face was red, and the skin around his lips was wet, his lips shiny from his spit and all Timmy wanted to do was kiss him no matter how filthy it might have been. But then a second finger was entering him, and he buried his head back in the pillow, moaning out Armie’s name brokenly along with a soft, please.

“You taste so good, baby,” Armie stated gravely and subconsciously run his tongue over his lower lip.

Timmy just mewled and couldn’t help but gauge at the boy’s reaction as he carefully eased in a third finger, while slowly and soothing kissing Timmy’s inner thigh. The boy went stiff for a few seconds, and Armie allowed him to get used to them while he murmured sweet nothings in the skin of his thigh.

When Timmy finally pushed back to his finger’s he moved them and twisted them in an out of him slowly.

“You’re doing so good,” Armie praised him with a soft smile, his dark blue eyes twinkling under the moonlight which was lighting up the room.

“I’m c-close,” Timmy stuttered clenching the bedsheets in his hand, his chest rising and falling quickly as his hips followed the movements of Armie’s fingers. He felt like a mess, with sweat running down his hairline and his neck down to his chest. His whole body was trembling, seconds away from coming untouched just by Armie’s wicked fingers.

“Come on, baby, come for me,” His words urged Timmy just like his curling fingers hitting the sweet spot inside him, begging him to let go.

His eyes fell shut, and all he could see was sparkly spots behind his closed eyelids. He felt like his body was floating, his weight lowering to nothing as he came on his tummy, painting it white like the most beautiful painting Armie had ever seen.

The older boy licked his fingers clean and hovered over the small boy, kissing and gently tonguing away the sweat from the sides of Timmy’s beautiful face. To him, Timmy right then and there looked like a beautiful wrecked angel with his cherry lips looking puffy, and his neck and cheeks flushed a lovely shade of pink, the freckles across his skin looking more prominent than before.

Timmy fluttered his eyes open, his doe-like eyes looking like beautiful light green precious gemstones, looking up at Armie with nothing but love and a few secrets.

He gently grazed his fingertips down Armie’s body, feeling the goosebumps erupt on his skin, and he smiled softly.

“Are you okay, baby?” Armie asked gently, brushing Timmy’s sweaty curls away from his face and leaning forward to press a sweet kiss on his forehead. Timmy nodded as he loosely wrapped his arms around his lover’s neck and brushed his lips on Armie’s chin.

“More than alright, darling.” He whispered back kissing his cheek.

Armie caressed the boy’s sides, letting him relax for a few minutes and catch his breath, his lips never leaving the skin of his forehead, his nose buried in the soft dark curls, inhaling Timmy’s sweet scent.

“I’ve got lube in the drawer of the nightstand.” The smaller boy stated after a few quiet seconds. Armie pulled back to look at him.

“Are you sure you want to?” Timmy nodded again with a smile leaning up to kiss him on the lips, his tongue pushing into Armie’s mouth as he threaded his fingers on his hair on the back of his head to pull him closer.

Timmy could feel how hard Armie still was inside the confines of his black boxers, where his cock was resting on Timmy’s thigh, and the boy could bet that he was aching and sensitive.

Armie quickly agreed and opened the drawer, his fingers running over a few bottles and tubes before he pulled out what he believed was lube and a condom. He placed them on the bed next to them and leaned back up, on his knees. He lowered his boxer’s before completely discarding them, leaving himself finally naked.

And just as Timmy was expecting he was rock hard, and from the tip was dripping pearlescent liquid which Timmy desperately wanted to taste.

He slowly leaned forward, taking the big angry length carefully inside his palm. A long moan escaped Armie’s lips, his cock feeling sensitive to the touch but he welcomed Timmy’s warm hand around him pumping him slowly and dipping his thumb in the slit on his head. His mouth fell open, his head tilted back as he slowly rocked his hips forward into Timmy’s hand.

“If you keep doing this, I won’t last long,” Armie warned gritting his teeth together as he opened the bottle of lube with shaky hands and coated two of his fingers, rubbing them together to warm the liquid up a bit. He then moved his fingers back down Timmy’s body and rubbed them around his entrance getting it thoroughly wet before pushing his middle finger and then his pointer inside him.

Timmy’s body shivered again under him, his hand stopped working Armie’s cock, his own cock pathetically twitching on his stomach in the drying puddle of his cum.

“We’ll go slow, okay? I wanna make it feel good for you.” Armie spoke softly as he leaned up to wrap his lips around one of Timmy’s rosy nipples, his stomach brushing over Timmy’s sensitive cock making the boy whine high in his throat.

“I know, baby, just a little longer,”  Armie mumbled leaning his head more into Timmy’s hands, petting his hair. He pulled out of Timmy’s reach, his hand falling from Armie’s cock to get replaced by Armie’s as he tore the package of the condom and rolled the rubber down his hard cock, stroking it a couple of times. He leaned up, on his knees, caressing Timmy’s thighs and spreading his legs for him even more.

Timmy watched with hooded eyes as Armie coated his cock with lube and pumped his hands up and down a couple of times, stopping to swipe his thumb over his tip making himself groan and his head to tilt down to touch his gleaming with sweat chest. Timmy bit his lower lip deciding that Armie touching himself was his new favourite thing to witness.

He felt himself clench down around Armie’s long digits with want. When the older boy kneeled closer him between his slim thighs, holding his aching cock by the base, Timmy bit down on his lower lip and held his breath, waiting and needing Armie to push into him, connect their hearts and souls with a single thrust.

Armie leaned down, covering Timmy’s small body with his, their chest pressed together and their lips connecting in a slow reassuring kiss.

“Slow,” Armie whispered on the boy’s lips as he brushed his over Timmy and slowly pushed his hips to the smaller boy’s.

Timmy was already panting. His chest rising and falling quickly once more, his skin feeling burning hot with the need and anticipation.

Armie finally pushed the head inside the small boy, holding still for a moment and keeping his eyes on Timmy’s checking for the slightest hint of discomfort. He knew that there would be a few sparks of pain and discomfort till Timmy got used to his size since it was inevitable, but he wanted to be sure that he wouldn’t cause his lover pain and he would make their first time as good as possible.

“Keep going,” Timmy breathed in his ear, his hands slowly stroking up and down Armie’s back trying to get the older boy to relax and not make it just about him but have Armie enjoy it as well.

A kiss on the neck and a soft nip was all the encouragement Armie needed to push in a little further till he was halfway inside his lover. He felt Timmy tighten around him, his breathing picking the pace.

Timmy felt full. Fuller than he had ever been in his life and it was making him feel slightly dizzy but in a very good way, where his skin buzzed for more, for all Armie could offer him.

He hummed quietly, running his lips up and down Armie’s jaw leaving wet kisses and hot breaths on his skin, causing Armie to shiver and grip Timmy’s bony hips tighter. He felt Armie’s cock twitch inside him, causing him to gasp and lightly graze his nails down the expanse of Armie’s back, as sparks tingled up his legs and deep inside his tummy.

Armie pulled out, earning a choked out moan from Timmy before pushing back in till he was all the way inside Timmy’s warm heat. The man breathed heavily through his nose and dropped his head on Timmy’s chest, the tightness around his cock felt heavenly, and Armie felt like fit inside of Timmy like a glove, as if Timmy was made for him.

Timmy tilted Armie’s face up to his to kiss him fully on the lips and pushed his hips to Armie’s trying to get the hesitating older boy to move, to let him know that he was okay and the minor pressure and pain he was feeling was good, extremely good.

 “Fuck, you feel good,” was muttered by Armie as he experimentally rolled his hips and circled them while he was deep inside Timmy making him gasp and moan out on his lips. Timmy allowed his head to lay back into the pillows, his curls creating a beautiful halo around his head making Armie’s already racing heart skip a beat and fall in love a little more with the boy. Timmy gripped Armie’s shoulder blades as Armie continued moving inside him and caressing his skin feeling like the last bit of his cock that he was holding back twists deep into Timmy’s stomach. 

Armie pulled out slowly just to push right back in, repeating the process slightly harder, causing Timmy to see stars and moan out through his half parted lips. Armie’s hand found the sweaty back of Timmy’s neck and tangled his fingers in the dark hair there as he pressed his lips on the smaller boy in a rough kiss, leaving them both panting.

“Do you feel good?” He asked his smaller lover as he gave a particularly long thrust, his cock deliciously rubbing across Timmy’s sensitive spot.

“Really good,” Timmy breathlessly moaned as Armie leaned in to kiss his shiny collarbone softly, licking a stripe up his long neck to pressed a wet kiss to his sharp jaw. 

“Wanna know how I feel?” He asked his thrusts steady, his hips moving smoothly in a slow rhythm now. Timmy nodded, looking at him up hooded and slightly unfocused eyes. 

“I Feel like I never wanna stop making love to you. You feel so good wrapped around me,” He groaned deep in his throat and bit down into Timmy’s freckled neck.

Timmy could only hum in return too far gone inside his foggy head, unable to form a coherent sentence or simple words. Armie’s thrusts were so long and deep and steady now, and the slight pain Timmy was previously feeling had turned into deep twists in the pit of his stomach and sparks of pleasure up his spine. Armie felt amazing inside Timmy, and every time he tightened his hand in his curly hair it sent chills down his spine.  Every kiss he felt on his sweaty skin, every suck and bite, every deep thrust brought Timmy closer to release and away from reality.

“I’m close baby,” Armie whispered on the side of his face, his nose nuzzled in the soft skin of Timmy’s cheekbone as his body rocked back and forth, flying them up to what Timmy believed was heaven.

Timmy nodded quickly, leaning his head to the side, chasing Armie’s lips to whisper and choked out ‘me too’ in his mouth, his eyes falling shut and his toes curling, his fingers digging into Armie’s skin as the older boy slightly picked up his pace chasing their orgasms.

Armie wrapped his long fingers around Timmy’s pretty red cock and stroked him once, twice before Timmy came with a loud cry, coating Armie’s hand with his cum and clenching hard around Armie’s cock sending him over the edge. His strong hips stilled, his cock pulsed inside the condom filling it up with his warm cum.

Every pulse of Armie’s cock inside Timmy, every tiny movement of the muscles on his stomach against him, every hot fan of his irregular breathing across Timmy’s neck made Timmy’s skin fill with goosebumps. 

Armie’s lips were parted open soft moans and long breaths escaping freely from him as he rested his head on Timmy’s shoulder, his eyes shut as they both slowly relaxed against each other. Their bodies floating towards a different universe only they knew and their two hearts were starting to slowly beat as one, in the same beat and same pace inside their chests.

 One of Timmy’s hands was tight in Armie’s sweaty golden hair while the other was wrapped around the older boy, holding him as close to him as possible, fearing that Armie’s light and floating body would float to another fluffy cloud if he didn’t hold him tight.

He didn’t mind the sweat, and he didn’t mind the weight of Armie’s body pressing completely on him trapping him against the bed. He was happy, content as ever, as he slowly breathed in, inhaling his and Armie’s mixed scents warming up the room.

He fluttered his eyes open after a few seconds, gazing down at his lover, finding him already looking up at him with adoring and sleepy ocean eyes, making Timmy’s heart melt. He slowly pushed Armie’s sweaty blonde hair away from his forehead and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his heated skin.

He closed his eyes the moment his lips touched Armie’s skin, his mind playing the golden-haired boy’s words over and over and all Timmy could think was that he possibly was made for Armie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it!  
> Thoughts on Timmy and Armie?  
> What would you like to see next?  
> Hit me up on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Salut my loves! Happy Septembre! How are you all? How was your week?  
> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments on the last chapter, I appreciate them very much!  
> This chapter again is a fluffy and angsty and smutty one, which I don't know how it happened because I had a completely different thing in mind and II somehow came up with this..  
> I really hope you'll like it guys!  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think. Kudos are always appreciated as well.  
> I love you and I appreciate you all so much.  
> Alright you guys I'll see you all next week,  
> Bisous x

Armie noiselessly padded down the hallway back to Timmy’s room from the kitchen where he had spent the past half hour preparing a simple breakfast containing honeyed and buttered French toast and some coffee as well as some orange juice just in case Timmy wasn’t a fan of coffee.

He ran his long fingers on the walls feeling the texture beneath the soft pad of his fingertips and the wood of the closed doors of the twins' rooms before he reached the opened door of Timmy’s room. He leaned on the door frame, his eyes falling on the naked figure of his sleeping lover huddled under the blankets. The morning light coming through the window casted perfectly on the small boy.

His back was turned to the window and the winter sun rays sneaking in the room were caressing and kissing his skin, making sure he was warm. His glossy curls framed his serene cherub-like face, while his long lashes rested on top of his cheeks.

He looked so precious, with his cherry lips slightly parted open allowing him to breath easier and the slight blush on the soft skin of his cheeks as well as the magic glow of the sun and the happiness radiating off his skin.

He could easily be the Greek God and personification of the sun, Helios. And in Armie’s eyes, he was. He was his sun and his hurricane, two things so different yet so breathtakingly beautiful to those who knew how to appreciate them.

The blue-eyed boy pushed his back away from the wooden door frame and crossed the room towards the bed in the middle of the room. He carefully laid next to Timmy, not wanting to wake the boy just yet. He wanted a few more seconds to admire the beautiful creature he had woken up with lying on his chest, wrapped around in his arms.

He brushed a few stray curls away from the boy’s closed eyes, his insides warming up at the small twitch of Timmy’s soft lips and the sleepy hum at the feel of Armie’s fingers stroking his hair.

Armie felt wetness gathering in his eyes, happy tears of love and fondness for the boy lying next to him. He couldn’t help but release the breathy laugh that bubbled up inside his throat thinking about what he had right now was meant to be a silly little one night stand, but there they were, falling in love and making love all night long.

He thought about all the mistakes he had made, all the things that didn’t work out for him and his mother, which was the leading cause he had disappeared only to be truly found by Timothѐe.

He leaned in, his nose brushing over Timmy’s in an affectionate way before he started leaving soft kisses on his forehead and lips, his arms wrapping around the boy’s nude body bringing him close to his.

Timmy smiled sleepily, keeping his eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his skin his Armie’s soft lips tenderly kissing him and his strong arm’s holding him close.

“Wake up, baby.” Armie’s rough morning voice slowly whispered in Timmy’s ears as the scent and warmth of Armie’s body enveloped his senses. The small boy shook his head and leaned more in Armie’s embrace, gently pressing himself closer to him, seeking his warmth and more of the gentle petting the man was giving him.

“Don’t want to,” Timmy whispered sleepily, placing his hands on Armie’s warm chest feeling the soft golden hair tickling the inside of his palms.

“Why not?” Armie questioned, his voice gradually returning to its normal sound as the grogginess from the sleep slowly disappeared, and his senses were waking more and more.

Timmy exhaled softly, still refusing to open his eyes. He slowly ran the back of his fingers up and down Armie’s chest.

“Because I like this dream of us together, sheltered from the hurricanes of the world,” Timmy whispered. Armie lifted his hand from where he had rested it on Timmy’s hip up to where Timmy’s hands were on his chest. He took one in his and brought it up to his lips, kissing it softly before lacing their fingers together and resting their hands back on his chest over his heart.

“I can’t promise you that in your beautiful dream won’t be hurricanes but I can promise you that even when storms rage, I’m gonna be by your side and do my best to protect us,” Armie sincerely said before leaning in to seal his promise with a tender kiss on Timmy’s cherry lips.

Timmy cupped his lover’s face with his other hand and smiled softly into Armie’s kiss. His heart beating like crazy inside his chest, ready to explode for the feeling he had for the older boy.

When he fluttered his eyes open, blinking the sleep from his eyes to gaze up at Armie. When their eyes met, Armie felt like the real sun was in Timmy’s eyes, and it had just risen.

“That’s all that matters,” Timmy whispered tenderly stroking Armie’s prickly cheek. Armie smiled warmly and nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing with his lover.

“I made us breakfast,” He whispered tucking a curl behind Timmy’s ear. The smaller boy looked at him in surprise as he leaned up, on his elbows, the curl Armie had tucked behind his ear stubbornly got in Timmy’s eyes again.

“You did?” Armie nodded again.

“I promised you I would take care of you, didn’t I? Well, I am a man of my word.” Timmy breathed in and turned his head out to look out of the window, squinting as the harsh sun rays got in his eyes and pursed his lips. The simple words sent a soft pang of pain in his heart, they were familiar, he had heard them quite a few times from another man with an equally velvet-like voice but much deeper accent.

He felt weird waking up in the flat with Armie next to him instead of the twins; it was something completely out of the ordinary and Timmy wasn’t sure if he liked the fog surrounding his heart or not. He found himself needing to reach for his phone and call them, see how they are, especially Alexander knowing how much the older boy hated going back to England, for some reason he prefered to keep to himself and not share it with Timmy.

Timmy guessed it was because of some memory, something which haunted him and probably was the cause of his nightmares and the demons inside his head which drove him near insanity. And as much he wanted to know the reason behind Alexander’s darkest thoughts he was afraid, afraid of not knowing how to console Alexander’s pain and sooth it, because it was obvious that whatever had traumatised his heart this way was something serious and not some childish ghost story.

He brought his lower lip and looked at his phone lying on the nightstand next to Armie’s desperately wanting to reach for it, see if he had any missed calls or texts from Harry, knowing all too well that for some reason Alexander never texted him when they were home.

He turned back to Armie with a soft smile gracing his lips as he pushed to the back of his head everything about his beloved twins, choosing to focus on the man he had in front of him. A man who wasn’t a mystery he couldn’t solve, but a simple one whom he had found himself falling for in a very short amount of time, although he didn’t like admitting it out loud.

He leaned closer to Armie, who was looking at him with loving ocean eyes and pressed his lips on his slightly prickly cheek and closed his eyes.

“You’re amazing, darling,” Timmy whispered, brushing his fingers through Armie’s messy from sleep sandy hair. Armie leaned into Timmy’s touch, deeply enjoying the boy’s gentle caress.

“I’m not that great,” He mumbled quietly. Timmy quickly hushed him by pressing his lips on Armie’s and cradled his face with his other hand.

“You are, Armie, more than you can imagine,” He whispered on his lips and gazed up at him to meet his bright ocean eyes.

Armie swallowed and silently nodded, unable to believe Timmy’s words no matter how much he wanted to. He wasn’t accustomed to hearing compliments like this, or compliments in general too used to people praising him for his good looks, the way his body was built and his family’s wealth.

“Thank you,” He whispered gently, wrapping his arms around the nude body of his lover, bringing him as close to his body as he possibly could. Timmy smiled and held him closer, dropping a sweet kiss on one of Armie’s broad shoulders.

“Don’t thank me for allowing myself to see in a world full of people who choose to be blind,” He whispered back, resting his head where he had previously kissed Armie.

Armie shut his eyes, letting Timmy’s words sink inside his heard and surround him with the affection and adoration he so desperately needed. He ran his large hand tenderly up and down Timmy’s warm from the sun back and nuzzled his nose in the boy’s elegant throat, careful not to scrape him with his stubble and inhaled the mixture of Timmy’s and his scent.

He wished he could somehow bottle the scents their bodies created and keep it forever. It didn’t have to do with some scent kink, and as sure as hell, he didn’t find it or mean it in a sexual way. He saw it as something heartwarming and calming, knowing that this scent meant that he had someone he could call a lover, someone he could run to, someone he could kiss and fall asleep in their arms feeling protected and loved.

“I feel like I have to,” Armie softly said. He felt Timmy shake his head, his silky curls tickled his jaw and his shoulder.

“No, not at all, Armie. Why would you thank me for loving you?” The words left Timmy’s lips faster than he could process. He hid his head further in Armie’s neck. His face flushed as he tried to find a way to say that he didn’t mean it in the way he had said it although he had meant it with every bit of his heart.

Armie shut his eyes and held Timmy, hiding his face in his curls taking in the boy’s words. Hearing the boy fuss he pulled away and cupped Timmy’s face in one of his hands and gently made the boy face him.

“Do you mean it?” His voice barely a whisper. His ocean eyes were filled with desperation. The need to hear those three words people frequently said but rarely meant was overwhelming. He found himself regretting asking the boy if he meant what he had said because, he didn’t care if Timmy meant it, which he most probably did. Because all Armie needed was to hear those words from someone who wasn’t Henry, who wasn’t family and wasn’t forced to say them whether they liked it or not. He just needed them so the tiny open hole full of void would close so he could be complete, live in a dream which could be reality instead of just an illusion in his mind.

Timmy swallowed but nodded slowly, his hazel eyes never leaving Armie’s.

“I do, of course, I do. It wasn’t love at first sight, but what we’ve been gradually and slowly building makes my heart feel as if it has never been broken before. And although it terrifies me because I’m so used to living inside my head where everything is fragile and breakable, and I only feel protected when I’m sheltered, you made me want to leave my safety and my need to hold on tight on a pillar afraid that my tiny place will come crashing down. And perhaps that’s what love is. To take the risk and to jump in deep .” He whispered with a gentle smile, leaning forward to rest his forehead on Armie’s and intertwined their fingers before placing them on Armie’s chest over his heart.

Armie closed his eyes as a wave of fulfillment and utter bliss washed over him, Timmy’s sincere words filled the small gap in his heart. He smiled and kept his eyes closed, chasing Timmy’s lips, wanting to feel and taste him to know that Timmy was real and Armie wasn’t dreaming or making things up inside his brain.

When their lips finally came in contact, he sighed happily in Timmy’s mouth and wrapped his arms around Timmy’s lithe body, bringing him even closer afraid that Timmy would somehow disappear into thin air.

As they pulled away to breathe Armie slowly fluttered his eyes open meeting Timmy’s warm and loving gaze and came to the realisation that this was real. Timmy was in front of him, and he was cradled inside his sizable arms, and he wasn’t going anywhere, and nobody could take Timmy away from him.

Armie finally had something someone else wanted but couldn’t have.

He had everything people craved.

He had stability and love in his life, something people desperately wanted but couldn’t have due to the crazy rhythms life had. But he had it all now, he had found everything he had ever wanted inside a pair of hazel green eyes.

 

-

A couple of minutes later the two of them were in the living room. While Armie served warm French toast and sweet-smelling coffee in their plates and mugs, Timmy opened the shutters allowing the sun rays to come in the living room, shedding light on every surface and dark corner chasing away the demons, the bad thoughts and memories.

Timmy leaned on the window watching from between the buildings the top of La Tour Eiffel and bit hard down on his lower lip trying to avoid wondering if a certain hetero chromatic man was leaning on the window of his flat in London staring at the Tower Of London with a steaming mug of black coffee in his hands.

He shook his head and put on a smile on his face as he turned to Armie who had made himself comfortable on the sofa and watched Timmy’s careful and slow movements with a loving smile, his blue eyes shining from the sunlight coming in from the window.

Timmy took his plate from the coffee table and sat down next to Armie, tucking his knees underneath him. He cut a piece of his toast and brought it up to his lips before biting down on it, slowly tasting it. He closed his eyes and swallowed his mouthful turning to Armie.

“This is so good, babe.”Armie smiled softly looking down at his half-eaten food.

“It’s not that hard to make French toast.” Timmy chuckled and leaned closer to him, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Still, it tastes good, and it’s not burned.” Armie shrugged not really knowing how to accept Timmy’s compliment and bit down on his toast as he looked around the washed with light flat.

Last night when they had come in he didn’t have the chance to admire the view of the beautiful Haussman buildings across from Timmy’s flat nor the top of the Eiffel Tower standing tall somewhere in the distance due to the shutters being closed. Now in the morning light with the desires and animalistic needs in their bodies to claim and mark somewhat subsiding and their minds and movements had slowed down enjoying the sizzling burn and bliss of finally becoming one and waking up next to each other, exactly where they belonged, Armie was not only able to admire the beauty of Paris outside of their window but also find little things around the flat that screamed Timmy and made Armie fall for the delicate French boy a little harder.

He took in the sketches and paintings on the walls, the tiny paint splutters on the beige carpet and on the glass surface of the coffee table surrounded by wood. He smiled when he saw picture frames on top of the fireplace and a folded easel by resting on the wall by the window next to two shelves full of records.

“Do you play?” He asked as he swallowed his mouthful, nodding at the baby Steinway.

Timmy shook his head and set his plate on his knees.

“Alex does, I’ve told you. Sometimes Harry but he is more of a guitar guy. Alex had tried to teach me but I’m not that good. He on the other hand is remarkable.” He replied with a sweet smile.

Armie nodded slowly.

“Yes, I remember you telling me that he played but I don’t know, when I look at him I don’t see in him enough sensitivity for him to actually play.”

Timmy smiled again.

“That’s because he rarely shows his sensitive side.”

Armie believed him. He knew it was true, he had seen a tiny bit of his soft side but it seemed to be more sensible instead of sensitive.

“He mostly shows it when you’re around.” Timmy nodded.

“Because he loves me and trusts me, knows that I won’t betray his trust.”

“Do you love him?” Timmy laughed, looking at Armie confused as to why he was asking this kind of questions.

“Of course I do, Armie. In a different way only him and I understand.”

“Have you slept with him?” Armie questioned, leaning his back on the sofa looking at his lover who idly toyed with his white napkin. He could feel his heart racing inside his chest, not knowing if he was ready to hear the confirmation of what he believed he knew, but he needed the secrets between them to start dissolving into thin air so the light could find its way through them and guide them to a road of bliss and happiness.

“No, but we’ve done..things. The other night, Friday, too.” Timmy slowly admitted after a few too long seconds which had probably turned into minutes, not daring to look up at Armie.

He felt a pang in his heart, not because he was ashamed of his actions and feelings for the British man but because he knew that one of his more sacred secrets was no longer his. What he and Alex had, it didn’t belong to them anymore; it wasn’t their secret.

 He knew that Harry was well aware, but he saw him as a piece of Alex, a piece of their world, which meant he didn’t count.

All he had now was his memories, and the imaginary traces of the man’s fingers on his lithe body belonged to them.

He breathed out running one of his fingers on the inside of his arms trailing over his pulse, where Alexander’s plush lips had been two nights ago and gently wrapped them around his thin wrist, clutching it close to his chest near his heart.

Armie could just watch the small boy as he confessed one of his deepest and probably darkest secrets. He brought his lower lip between his teeth as he stared at Timmy, who slowly circled his wrist with his fingers and held it close him.

He didn’t know how to feel about this new revelation. He wasn’t surprised per se. He had seen the longing looks between the two boys and the gentle, innocent touches they shared.

He felt confused, not really knowing how he was supposed to react or feel. He knew he had no right to feel mad considering Timmy wasn’t the only one who did things with his best friend.

What confused him even more as crazy as it sounded in his head was, why the two hadn’t gone all the way? Was it like some sort of an arrangement between them, or Timmy, perhaps Alex had refused?

He remembered when he told Alex how his relationship with Timmy is open so they could explore, mostly for Armie’s sakes who still wasn’t sure if he could give up the rough fucks with Henry although, he hadn’t revealed that to Timmy, how Alex had reacted. The British man had immediately shut him down with a simple sentence which still to this day Armie couldn’t quite comprehend. So was Alex lying to him the whole time or did they start experimenting after their talk? Had Alex broke down some of his walls to the point where he allowed himself to be intimate with Timmy? Or was it a moment of weakness and built-up frustration from spending years so close to each other that they just had to give in?

Armie could easily admit that he was a tad jealous. What he couldn’t admit out loud or even to himself was that he was a sick, sick man. Because in some perverted part of his brain he wished he could have witnessed Alex cornering Timmy up and using him as he pleased. Or even the other way around. The size and height difference between their bodies made Armie feel lightheaded.

Alexander was like him, broad and tall, about a barely noticeable inch shorter than him a complete contrast from the nymph-like boy they both loved, each one in his own way. So to think that Timmy had been with the British man, made Armie wish he could have watched them as they became one entity, rutting against each other and kissing fiercely with electricity he and Timmy didn’t quite have and Armie wasn’t sure if they would ever have.

He exhaled shakily and gripped his plate a little tighter when his head started filling up with obscene images of Timmy looking like a debauched nymph lying on his knees for him and Alexander.

“I sleep with Henry sometimes.” He confessed after clearing his throat and looked at his lover, waiting to see what his reaction would be. It wasn’t his first time admitting that he sleeps with Henry, although the last time he had said it out loud the circumstances were different and a pair of icy different coloured eyes were staring back at him instead of a pair of warm and loving green.

Timmy’s reaction was a soft smile as he leaned over the coffee table and picked up his mug, proceeding to take a sip before speaking up.

“I know,” He said softly and laid his head on the cushion staring back at his boyfriend with an easy playful smile on his cherry lips.

Armie blinked at him confused, trying to remember if he had mentioned something in the past or did anything to give it away.

“How?” He asked, dumbly.

Timmy smiled wider and placed their plates on the coffee table before moving to place himself on Armie’s lap and leaned in, running his tongue over Armie’s upper lip. When Armie’s breath came out stuttered from the teasing touch, Timmy smiled, pleased with the reaction he had pulled from the older boy and completely closed the distance between them, kissing him slowly and deeply.

“You haven’t exactly been discreet about it, baby.” He mumbled on Armie’s lips.

Armie shut his eyes and pulled the smaller boy closer to him till they were flush against each other, their naked chests touching and their crotches rubbed against each other under Armie’s boxer, and the sheet had wrapped around his slim hips making him look like a male Venus de Milo.

“I haven’t?” He breathed out, feeling himself hardening under the soft cotton of his boxers as Timmy languidly moved his hips on him.

Timmy shook his head, his soft curls tickling Armie’s cheek, some soft tufts got caught on the stubble on Armie’s cheek as Timmy moved his head lower, running his lips over the sweet spot where Armie’s jaw met his neck and harshly bit down on it. Armie grabbed Timmy’s hair between his finger in a tight fist and pulled him away from his neck, breathing heavily.

“So many marks, Armie. Marks I didn’t leave on you.” He whispered and went back to the reddened spot, soothing it with his tongue first and then with a sweet kiss.

Armie’s breath was coming out stuttered, and Timmy almost felt him stop breathing when he fully situated himself on Armie’s fully hard and aching cock. He couldn’t help but smile, loving the power he had over the other boy, loving how his body reacted to his touch and teasing. Not that his own body wasn’t reacting to Armie’s touch. His cock was leaking pre-cum staining and wetting the sheet wrapped around his hips, and his sweet hole was fluttering, begging to be filled by Armie’s cock.

“I’m sorry,” Armie whispered gazing up at his lover with midnight blue eyes full of lust. Timmy didn’t seem to like the answer he received and tutted while canting his hips up and pressing his sheet covered cock on Armie’s stomach instead of pressing down on his aching cock trapped inside its cotton confines.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Armie.” He whispered, pressing his cherry lips on Armie’s, this time grounding himself down on Armie’s cock, making the older boy moan low in his throat.

Timmy suddenly was moving off of Armie’s lap and sank down on his knees in front of the older boy, gazing up at him. He parted Armie’s legs and made himself comfortable between them, slowly kissing and nipping on the inside of his meaty thigh before sinking his teeth in his soft skin, causing the older boy’s hips to shake. The smaller boy wrapped his hands around Armie’s thighs, keeping him still and leaned in, nosing along Armie’s length over the fabric of his boxer’s. Armie threw his head back in the cushion as the submissive streak inside him awoke, and he tightened his hands in fists at his sides not knowing if he was allowed to touch his younger lover or not.

Timmy then wrapped his lips around Armie’s base and pressed his tongue against the fabric, wetting it. His green eyes never leaving Armie’s as he moved back upwards to the sensitive head of the blue-eyed man. Timmy nuzzled his nose in the wet spot from Armie’s pre-cum where his tip had drooled and leaked through his boxers from want and breathed in the musky and earthy scent of his lover. He flicked his tongue over the wet patch tasting the tangy and salty liquid, before wrapping his lips around it, giving it a slow suck trying to get more of Armie’s unique scent and taste, needing his whole body and his senses to be enveloped and filled by it till he could smell like Armie did. He wanted the scent to be his mark of possession, showing to the world that he belonged to the older blue-eyed man.

Above him, Armie seemed pleased by his ministrations by the low moans he let out, the hitches of his breath every time Timmy sucked him a little harder, and the muscles of his tighs contracting beneath his fingers.

Timmy pulled slightly back, licking his reddened lips and hooked his long fingers on the hem of Armie’s boxers, pulling them down, freeing the man’s large length from where it was trapped. He ran a teasing finger along the vein before dipping it in the slit on his sensitive and angry red tip, lifting it up to his lips and closing his lips around it, giving his digit a slow suck.

He smirked around his fingers, seeing Armie’s lips part, and he breathed deeply, probably trying to keep himself from coming all over himself. Little did he know that was exactly what Timmy wanted.

The smaller boy stood up again, placing himself on Armie’s lap once more and leaned in to kiss him, cupping his face with one hand while the other tangled in the sweaty blonde hair of the man he loved.

Armie kissed him back deeply and shyly placed his hands on Timmy’s waist still not sure if he was allowed to touch him. When Timmy continued kissing him and even proceded to part his lips once more with his wicked tongue seeking for entrance in his mouth and didn’t chastise him for touching him, Armie held him tighter.

Timmy sneaked a hand between them and tightened the sheet around his cock while he trapped Armie’s between their bodies and experimentally moved his hips forward, successfully rubbing their hard lengths together. Armie cried out from the friction of the sheet on his sensitive cock and leaned his head back, closing his eyes, giving Timmy the opportunity to latch his lips right where Henry’s mark laid on his neck.

He rolled his hips on Armie’s again letting out a moan himself as he felt a coiling heat spreading all over his tummy. His eyes stayed locked on Armie as the older boy shivered and moaned under his slow thrusts against his aching cock, bringing them both closer to the edge. He leaned in closer to Armie and took his chin between his fingers forcing him to look at him.

“Watch me, Armie,” He whispered hotly, brushing their lips together without kissing him.

Armie blinked his dark blue eyes open, his breathed getting caught in his throat at the sight of Timmy on his lap. His dark hair was a mess, seemed to be even more curly than usual. His pupils were dilated, his eyes a breathtaking emerald green which shone brightly from the lust. His cheeks were a beautiful rosy shade and his lips a sinful bruised red from the kisses they had shared.

He looked ethereal.

He was an ethereal angel who had fallen to earth with the mission to take Armie apart little by little, leave him breathless and shrink his entire being into a small thing, mark him with a golden tattoo to prove that he belonged to a divine being.

Armie shivered when Timmy leaned in again and kissed him slowly with a passion which almost made Armie tear up from the love he had for the beautiful boy.

He moaned in Timmy’s mouth as the smaller boy suddenly pushed his hips against his hard, probably close to the edge and bit down on his lower lip.

“Come for me,” The smaller boy withdrew from Armie’s lips to whispered the words to his ear, brushing his lips teasingly over the shell of his ear.

Armie parted his lips and licked them when he realised they had suddenly dry dried up due to his state of arousal, before moving his hips up to Timmy’s with whatever power he had left, rubbing their lengths together through the sheet which he found himself hating. He wanted to tear it to shreds, needing to feel the burning skin of Timmy’s cock against his, wanting to taste it and breath in its musky scent like Timmy had previously done to him. He wanted to be inside his lover’s body, get to know every single detail about it, feel it open up to take him and the clamp down on him to keep them from parting so they could always be one. He wanted to have every scent Timmy’s body created all over him, inhale it taste it and bottle it up and keep it around his neck on a chain so he could breathe it in every time he felt stressed and missed his little lover. It could be his drug. It was as addictive anyway but harmless, and it made everything inside his mind stop, and all his worries float away making him feel light and almost as if he was king of another dimension.

When Timmy finally allowed Armie to kiss him again, the blue-eyed boy feverishly did, gripping Timmy tighter and pulling him closer to him, rubbing them harder and faster chasing their orgasms. He felt the sheet starting to get wetter by second, and that spurred him on to continue with more frantic movements needing to feel the sheet become soaking wet from their mixed cum.

The smaller boy on top of him who seemed to be in total control just a few moments ago, had started to pant and moan brokenly as he neared his release, the built-up pleasure reaching its peak in slow but strong waves which left the boy breathless and writhing on top of his lover.

Timmy came with a breathless and choked out moan swallowed by Armie’s mouth and draped his body over Armie’s, letting his body to be used by the older boy.

When Armie came, his moan was low almost like a rumble of thunder which made Timmy shiver and his skin prickle, he wasn’t sure if it was because of the sound or of the aftershocks of his orgasm but he didn’t care, it Wasnt what he wanted to think about nor he cared enough to know.

He let himself be held in a tight grip close to Armie’s body, his head resting on his chest, small blonde hair and dark curls greeting each other before wrapping themselves together in a warm embrace. The gentle drops of sweat their bodies produced glided on each other's skin, leaving a tiny trail behind them where it had gently kissed their skin, almost like an animalistic mark showing to the world that they owned each other.

Timmy smiled at the thought of owning Armie, body, heart and, soul. He slowly trailed his fingertips down Armie’s arm from his bicep down to his wrist and gently wrapped his fingers around it and brought it up to his lips, feeling the fluttering of his pulse under them. He closed his eyes and kissed it softly.

Armie gazed down at Timmy through his still dazed eyes. He watched his movements and the tender way he caressed and brushed his lips over one of the places where his heartbeat was the strongest. When Armie understood the meaning behind Timmy’s actions, he lowered his head and pressed his lips on the base of Timmy’s neck, kissing it as sweetly as he could.

He felt Timmy’s lips lift up in a soft smile and he couldn’t help but smile as well on the skin of his neck, feeling whole as his heart beat steadily against Timmy’s like it always should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the truths is out! How do we feel about it? Are we ready for more?  
> Hit me up on tumblr "@timotheemonamour


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! I hope you are all doing okay and you're still with me.  
> I want to apologise for my absence, I've been dealing with a couple of health issues the past few weeks including my good friends depression and anxiety which seem to deeply enjoy my company the past couple of years and they don't want to let go of me so, yes. I'm so sorry for not posting and for posting kind of delayed right now. I haven't stopped writing this story nor will I stop but if you don't see me posting at some point it means that I'm unwell and not that I've grown tired this.   
> Now let's get to business. This chapter is a long-ish one, or at least it was on my word document and many things take place, it's fluffy and angsty and smutty, it's everything and more. This is the first chapter where one of the truths will be revealed and slowly as the chapters go on, many things will come to light and I honestly can't wait for you to read the next chapter!   
> Thank you all so much for your patience, your comments and kudos and for reaching out to see if I'm okay as well as asking for the fic, it meant the world to me.  
> I love you all so much.  
> Alright you guys I'll see you all next Saturday,  
> bisous x

When he woke up again later in the evening, tangled in a mess of soiled sheets with the love of his life, curled on his lap smelling of him, and the rain heavily falling outside in the streets of Paris, Armie realised that there was nothing he wanted more in life than spend the rest of his days on the very sofa he was on with Timmy. He didn’t care what they would do to spend the hours; he didn’t care if they wouldn’t exchange a single word, just watching the beautiful boy, peacefully sleeping in his arms with rain as the soundtrack of his dreams would be enough for him.

The light from outside wasn’t much and since the sky was dark and it cast a beautiful yet moody and melancholic shadow over the city and inside the small flat, painting the skin of Armie and his lover an almost grey-ish blue colour, which Armie couldn’t help but take in and wish he could paint.

He wished he could paint so he could depict on walls, papers and canvases how beautiful his boy was even in this time when the light became a shadow.

Leaning his head down, he buried his nose in the mess of Timmy’s dark curls and breathed in, allowing his eyes to fall shut once more, relishing the warmth of his love for the cherubic boy, take over him.

He glanced outside, watching as the rain pelted down on the small balcony and the rooftops of the Haussmann block of flats across from them. He listened to the sound of the rain, singing an angelic and distant, somewhat incomprehensible chant, calming the hearts of Parisians, firing up the sweet romantic feelings inside the lovers and the avid readers of classic novels, and putting little kids to sleep.

Armie in all of his life could never understand how people could feel inner peace when it rained, how it eased their minds and made them slip away into a world where the thunder was a mere drizzle, but right then and there, he finally understood the beauty of it.

He understood the romantics and the people who told him how much they loved the melancholic feeling the rain brought along.

The rain was something magical; it was something heaven-sent, a universal song anyone could understand and interpret it’s lyrics differently, no matter what language they spoke.

To some, the lyrics were angry and full of hate. For others they were sad and depressing, sometimes longing for something they had and lost or for something they desperately wanted and didn’t have while for a small number of people were full of love because they had everything they wanted.

What connected all of these people was a cruel irony. And that was the fire which woke up their feelings caused by the rain. Everything suddenly became more. There was more passion, more love, more sadness and more longing than when the sun shone brightly in the sky.

Armie could feel a wildfire burning in his heart, the fire of love burning the room down and enveloping him in its flames while outside it poured.

Kissing the top of Timmy’s head, he ran his sizable palm up and down the boy’s cold back in an attempt to warm him up. Timmy snuggled closer to him, seeking the warmth his large body provided and Armie happily pulled him deeper in his embrace doing his best to wrap the thin sheet around the boy’s body although he knew it wouldn’t do much to keep him warm. The small boy snuffled gently, and Armie looked down at him right when Timmy blinked his hazel eyes open and let out a soft yawn. The second their eyes met, Timmy smiled sleepily up to his lover and let his head fall back between the man’s collarbones.

Armie stroked the boy’s soft cheek with his thumb and watched him silently as he stared outside at the rain falling, curling closer to him when the sound of thunder interrupted the silence from somewhere in the distance.

“I’ve never felt this in my life,” Armie whispered quietly. Timmy moved in his arms so he could watch him as he talked.

“Feeling peaceful and warm while watching the rain. I used to get agitated, hated the rain for years, but suddenly now I don’t. And I think it’s because of you,” Armie swallowed, lowering his gaze where Timmy’s hand rested above his heart, avoiding his eyes, fearing he had spoken out of line.

“Me?” Timmy questioned, sleep was still very evident in his voice which sounded husky and deeper than usual, but his eyes were wide awake, searching Armie’s and taking in his shy moves.

Armie nodded. His cheeks flushed a soft red shade complimenting his tan skin tone.

“Yes, the way you love me is like a hurricane. _You_ are like a hurricane. So breathtakingly beautiful and gorgeous for anyone who can learn to love its outbursts and find peace in them. So powerful and overwhelming yet so soft and loving,” He lowered his tone as he finished his sentence, still avoiding Timmy’s eyes.

Timmy stayed quiet for several seconds, taking in Armie’s words, working them inside his head, slowly realising just how right Armie was.

Armie, on the other hand, started squirming, his fear of overstepping the boundaries itching making him want to get away, cower and hide.

“Perhaps, that’s what true love is. Learning to love the storm for what it is. Finding peace in it and enjoying it, dancing inside it instead of fighting it and holding an umbrella over your head, trying not to get your best clothes wet,” Timmy spoke softly, gazing up at Armie with a loving smile.

If the smaller didn’t look up at him adoration filling his hazel green irises, Armie would have thought that he was talking for a completely different person. And perhaps, Timmy was talking about someone else indeed but at the same time about him too and right then and there, the language of love the boy’s eyes spoke meant to him more than the words that came out of his sweet lips.

In complete contrast from the morning, Armie found himself not wanting Timmy to speak with words but speak with his eyes, which said much more than tiny and frail words would ever say.

He carefully traced with the tip of his finger over Timmy’s the bridge of his nose up to the spot between his eyebrows, moving it over the soft hair of his thick eyebrow down to the corner of his eye, before leaning in and leaving a soft kiss over his brow bone.

Timmy exhaled and held Armie’s head in his hands, keeping him in place, not wanting them to part just yet, loving the warmth and softness of Armie’s lips on his skin.

They ended up staying like that for several long moments, breathing each other in, bathing in the warmth their love surrounded them in, sharing heartbeats and tender caresses and kisses, while the storm raged on outside.

Armie quickly came to the conclusion that since not even the sound of thunder could make them part or feel cold and chilled on the inside, he could try his luck of brewing up a slightly bigger storm which could either end up with both of them drowning in the stormy sea of their feelings. Or it could be the key to their eternal happiness and peace.

Perhaps he was naïve, thinking that whatever they had would last eternally, they would go through every storm, and every tidal wave hand in hand and they would come out alive and completely intact without a single scratch or a broken heart.

He knew that they wouldn’t be able to rewrite the stars and make new rules for themselves and the universe they were in and end up ruling it but maybe because of his very naivety he dared to think and attempt to express what he truly felt and wanted and who he was.

“Your heart is racing inside our chest,” He heard Timmy say softly.

“Our chest?” Armie asked, looking down at him.

The boy nodded.

“We are one,” He replied as he affectionately ran his fingers through Armie’s blonde hair, before letting them rest on the nape of his neck.

“How so?” Timmy smiled dreamily up at him, his doe-like eyes blinking leisurely, looking like a seductive nymph.

“Well, in The Symposium, Plato has a famous Greek comedy writer tell the story of soul mates. And he says that according to Greek mythology, humans were created with four arms, four legs, a head and with two faces. Zeus got scared that they will become too powerful and he split them into two separate parts, making them spend the rest of their lives searching for their other halves.” He answered, running the fingers of his other hand down Armie’s chest.

“And we fit, perfectly in each other's arms, almost as if I was made for you and you were made for me, so yes. We are one. We have one chest with two hearts in it to carry our love, because one heart wouldn’t be enough.”

Armie stared at him speechless, not knowing what to say or if he had something to say he didn’t know how to. His vocabulary was very limited when it came to expressing his feelings. He never knew how to word them, and maybe that was because nobody cared enough to ask. So he did the one thing he had been fearing for so long.

“Hammer,” He breathed out placing his large palm over Timmy’s on his chest, cradling the small and delicate hand inside his, feeling his own heart beating fast under their hands, just like Timmy had said.

Timmy furrowed his eyebrows for a second, confused by Armie’s one-worded answer.

“My last name. It’s Hammer,” Armie whispered caressing the back of Timmy’s hand with his thumb.

The small boy’s lips parted in surprise, his eyes slightly widened and Armie could feel Timmy’s heart picking up the pace inside their chest.

“My father was Richard Hammer, owner of Hammer Holdings.” He mumbled looking away from his lover and out of the window. The hair on the back of his neck stood up by the reminder of the weight and power his last name held.

He heard Timmy’s breath hitch in his throat and inwardly bitterly chuckled already too familiar with the reaction it received and breathed through his nose, bracing himself for the fawning and the newfound alleged respect, but it didn’t come.

He turned to look at him, confused as to why Timmy had remained so quiet. He found the boy looking down at their intertwined hands.

Armie bit his tongue forcing himself from pleading Timmy to say something, partly afraid of what the boy would say. He said a silent prayer to whichever God heard him, wishing he hadn’t completely ruined what they had with his confession.

“He was in a car accident, wasn’t he?” Timmy softly asked after a few seconds, looking up at him.

Armie nodded slowly, taken aback by Timmy’s question. He hadn’t seen that coming.

“He was, yes, a few weeks ago,” He replied, swallowing the bile which has started to gather up inside his throat.

Timmy smiled sadly and wrapped his arms around the man, holding him protectively and dropped a kiss on his shoulder.

Armie wrapped his arms around his small body too stunned to do something else.

“I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you not to be able to go to his funeral and having to hide your pain from everyone, not having the time to mourn him properly and allow your heart to ache then heal,” Timmy whispered closing his eyes, knowing the pain of losing someone you love all too well.

Armie could only hold him tighter, sucking in a deep breath and raising his glassy blue eyes to the ceiling, thanking the God’s for the revelation his lover was.

“It was the only way. I couldn’t go back or do anything than bury it all deep in my heart,” Armie whispered back.

Timmy nodded in understanding.

“I know, and I’m proud of you Armie Hammer,” He bumped his nose lovingly on Armie’s and held his face in his hands, leaning in to kiss him with all the adoration he could muster up. He felt Armie shiver beneath him as if he was holding back tears as they kiss, and he pulled back, pressing his cheek on Armie’s.

“It’s okay to cry, my love,” He whispered, sounding more mature than his age.

Armie let his tears escape from his eyes as Timmy’s soft fingers caressed his skin tenderly and whispered sweet nothings in his ear, while affectionately kissing his face and hands almost as if Armie was something sacred.

“I love you, Armie Hammer,” Timmy whispered on Armie’s wet from his tears lips, tracing them with his tongue and licking the salty wetness away.

Armie smiled through his tears, his heart too full of love for his boy.

“I love you, my beautiful boy,” Armie whispered back, brushing Timmy’s hair away from his forehead. Timmy shook his head slowly, his hair flopping back on his forehead.

“I’m your man right now,” He mumbled, holding Armie’s gaze before whispering again.

“I’m your man,”

 

 

-

 

The air inside the tight space of shower was heady and steamy, making the boys feel slightly lightheaded and dizzy as they feverishly made out, getting high on each other’s low and breathy moans, so much that they almost forgot to breathe.

Hot water was scalding down their bodies, washing away the traces of dried cum and sweat and turning their skin a pretty pink colour.

Timmy pressed Armie on the tiled wall, his slim body trapping the older boy with his chest against the wall. The smaller boy leaned his chest on the expanse of Armie’s back and held him by his strong hips before, dropping a kiss between his shoulder blades, where he was used to seeing a pair of wings inked into pale skin. He quickly shook his head and ran his lips down Armie’s back in an almost tickling manner while leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses on his skin.

“Spread them for me,” He whispered in Armie’s ears as he caressed his strong thighs, and gripped them in his hands, flexing and unflexing his fingers. Armie easily complied as he panted, trying to gather enough air back inside his lungs to prepare for what was about to happen.

Timmy sucked two of his fingers inside his mouth before moving them down Armie’s body and traced his rim slowly, his eyes never leaving his fingers, wanting to watch as he carefully inserted them in Armie. He bit down on his lower lip as Armie slowly arched his back, welcoming Timmy’s fingers inside his body.

They were thin, and far more slender than his or Henry’s making them nearly not enough for Armie but the way Timmy wickedly moved them inside him, pressing them down against his tender walls and scissoring them before twisting this thin wrist to change the angle, had him seeing stars and deeply inhale the steam surrounding them.

Armie felt another finger entering his body and slowly exhaled at the familiar stretch. His eyes rolled shut, and his hands tried to find purchase on the wall as Timmy’s long fingers found the sensitive spot deep inside him, he pushed himself closer to Timmy, pressing his chest on the boy’s back, needing more of what he was giving him.

His head fell back as pleasured moans sneaked out his open mouth. He slowly sneaked one of his hands down between his body and the wall and, loosely wrapped his fingers around his aching cock, squeezing around the base to take the edge off.

Timmy wrapped an arm around Armie’s body as he brushed his lips down the side of his neck, holding Armie steady. His cock was getting impossibly harder by the second. The view and the feel of Armie clenching and then stretching around his finger made him feel things he didn’t think were possible. He felt high with the power of being able to control Armie’s body like this, and he couldn’t get enough of it.

“Does it feel good?” He asked gently, wanting to make sure that this was as pleasurable as for Armie since he didn’t have much experience apart from touching himself in order to get off.

Armie’s moan as Timmy pressed against his sensitive spot once more, was the answer and all the boosting he needed to continue his movements a little harder and faster, more surely. He lifted his other hand from Armie’s hip and brought it down near where his fingers were buried inside his lover and with feathery trailed them over his taint before slowly folding the man’s heavy balls which were drawn close to his body.

Armie closed his eyes and slowly licked his lips, trying to moisten them. His throat was starting to get dry from the amount of foggy air he breathed in so quickly. He moved his hips slowly, meeting Timmy’s fingers and stared down at his length, wrapped tightly inside his palm. From the tip was leaking copious amount of pre-cum which he wanted to scoop up with his finger and feed them to Timmy and then do the same with his, so they could always somehow have each other in their bodies and blood, almost like a blood pact.

“I’m good, I’m good. Just please, give it to me,” He breathed out, desperately wanting to feel Timmy inside him in another small ritual of soul-bonding, needing to feel his and Timmy’s heart to beat synchronised.

Timmy complied, pulling his fingers out of Armie and heard him exhale slowly. He pulled slightly away from Armie to wiped his hands with the towel hanging over the shower and then reached up at the shelve where they kept the bottles of soap and grabbed a shiny packet of a condom and ripped it open. He rolled it down his cock and stroked it a couple of times before lining himself up at Armie’s entrance.

He leaned his body forward, wrapping his arms around Armie’s body in an embrace from behind and slowly breached Armie. They both gasped at the sensation, and Armie leaned his head on the small tiles lining the shower wall.

Timmy found hardly any resistance as he moved inside Armie’s body. He was loose enough to accommodate Timmy’s size but tight enough to hug his cock perfectly, but as he went deeper he felt Armie’s body clenching around him and tightening almost as if it begged him not to go, to always be there.

Armie arched his back, pressing himself closer to his lover. His body felt heavy and full of a million different emotions. He wanted to cry, sob and laugh, pull Timmy closer but also make him stop his slow, torturing thrust and swat him away. When Timmy tenderly stroked his side with his fingers, he felt himself tearing up and smiling at the same time. He tilted his head up, the back of his head touching Timmy’s forehead and closed his eyes, relishing the feel of having his lover so close to him, feeling him everywhere in his body, heart, mind and soul.

He laced his fingers with Timmy’s and squeezed his hand gently.

“Are you okay?” Timmy gently whispered, brushing his lips on the back of Armie’s neck.

Armie nodded slowly, parting his lips to breath before answering.

“That’s all I ever wanted,” He breathed.

“What my love?” Timmy pressed a kiss on Armie’s nape, nuzzling his nose in the wet blonde hair, breathing in the scent of his lover.

“To belong to someone body and soul,”

-

 

Timmy smiled from where he was perched on the counter, looking at Armie’s long fingers covered in flour cutting the pasta dough he had made and carefully forming it into Farfalle pasta.

“How did you learn how to cook?” Timmy questioned as he stole a small piece of the dough and ate it slowly, tasting the flour and olive oil which instantly took him back to his childhood.

Armie shrugged.

“Our housekeeper was half Italian, and sometimes I would watch her cook, so I picked up a couple of things. But most of the things I make are simple and easy to make so you shouldn’t really credit me,” He replied with a fond glare watching as his boy happily and in triumph munched on the dough.

Timmy opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing somewhere in the living room. He smoothly hopped off the counter and turned to Armie with an accusing finger.

“This isn’t over Hammer,” He said as he walked out of the kitchen, leaving Armie hunched over the counter with a silly smile on his face by the mention of his last name.

Timmy hummed along Nina Simone’s song End Of The Line which was quietly playing on the record player and smiled at the warmth feeling his insides from the sweet memories of him and Alex dancing to it, or most likely him dancing while Alex watched him with a loving smile, one he only showed to Timmy.

He stopped for a second to listen to the piano notes and closed his eyes.

As the piano continued, he felt something burning hot, almost hellish surround his senses, slow and long fingers slowly walk down his naked spine in a fashion only a certain someone knew how to do when they laid side by side. He saw a pair of green and blue eyes staring back at him. Their passion slowly burning him from the inside out with which felt so real to the point he believed he had somehow summoned the British man back in his arms.

He exhaled shakily and reached for his phone. His heart stopped as he glanced at the number he knew by heart and the picture he had taken of the man, spontaneously laughing at something, open-mouthed and glowing from happiness, something so rare and beautiful.

His fingers trembled as he swiped to answer, fully knowing that neither of the identical men called while they were in England and the fact that the younger twin was calling him, proved to him even more than while he was swimming in a bubble of happiness, Alex, _his_ Alex was suffering.

“Alex,” He breathed out as he slowly walked down the dark hallway leading to their rooms and carefully opened the door to Alexander’s room.

“Petal,” Alex’s low morbid voice came from the other side of the receiver. His tone was slow, unhurried as if he had all of the time in the world. Timmy could hear the sound of cars and harsh wind, perhaps rain along with the low rumble of the man’s voice.

He swallowed and closed his eyes, as he lowered himself on the bed and brought the warm blanket up to him, covering himself, feeling suddenly cold.

“Where are you? I can hear cars.” He said softly.

“Westminster Bridge,” Alexander answered, and Timmy could hear the sound of thunder echoing. He brought his lower lip between his teeth, easily picturing Alexander walking alone in the rain trying to ease his mind.

He nodded dumbly even though he knew Alex couldn’t see him.

“How was today?” The sound of Alexander’s chuckle was dark and dangerous, almost like the sound of the thunder and Timmy got his answer just by it.

“It was awful, petal,” In spite of his dark laugh, his voice was barely above a pained whisper which could have easily been lost in the harsh wind blowing.

The smaller boy clutched down at the pillow harshly and closed his eyes, rubbing his head slowly on it, hoping to find Alex’s fading scent on it. He bit down harder on his lower lip as his eyes stung and his throat almost hurt by the tears and pain he felt for Alex. He wished he could somehow wrap the older and hurt boy in a hug and keep him forever safe inside his embrace. He wanted to apologise for not being by his side, for having a bad day, he wanted to comfort him but didn’t know how.

“I miss you,” Alex’s voice made a hot tear roll down his pale cheek, and he swallowed back a sob.

“I miss you too, Alex. So much,” He whispered and sniffled, taking a breath attempting to calm himself down.

“Tell me how you’re doing, I want to hear your voice,” The older boy said, successfully averting Timmy’s thoughts from him to himself and Armie. Timmy almost chuckled from the way Alex even from miles away still was able to move things way around the way he wanted them.

“I’m still at the flat with Armie. We spent the night together, and I-I told him I love him,” He whispered lowering his head, his curls delicately fell in front of his face hiding his flushed and tear-streaked cheeks and eyes.

“He told me the truth too, about who he really is,” He continued, looking around the dark apart from the moonlight coming in, room.

He heard Alexander slowly exhale.

“That’s good, love. I’m happy for you; you deserve all the happiness in the world.” His words sounded forced to Timmy almost as if the man was trying to spit them out; his accent sounded heavier too.

“Are you okay, mon coeur?” He asked in a softer tone sensing the man’s distress.

He heard Alex breath unevenly before holding his breath and letting out a long exhale once more.

“Oui, mon ange, I’m okay just tired. This whole thing is draining me,” The older boy swallowed.

Timmy ran his fingers down the navy sheets pretending he was caressing the man instead of the sheet and wished Alex could somehow feel his touch.

“You should try to get some rest,” A low chuckle was the reply he received, a different one than the previous one. It almost sarcastic and mocking and Timmy knew that his words were about to be gone with the wind, unless he played his cards right.

“Do it for me, please.” He whispered and closed his eyes, pressing a slow kiss on the pillow, keeping up his little dream of Alex laying in bed next to him, holding him in his arms and sharing his pain with him, making it more bearable. It was a nice dream, but it was miles away from Alex’s character, and Timmy didn’t wish to change anything about the British man.

He liked the enigma Alexander was, and he loved his different coloured eyes everyone found creepy, something which was very unnecessary to bring up, but he did because it was true and he loved reminding it to the man.

Timmy being too caught up in his daydream almost didn’t hear Alexander’s reply.

“For you, Timothée. Everything I do, I do it for you.” Alexander said gazing far away in the distance, wishing his eyes could see Timmy in their flat in Paris, dressed in one of his sweaters, waiting for him to return.

He clenched his jaw and sucked in a deep breath through his nose, inhaling the cold and moist London air while leaning back on the railings of the bridge pathetically and inwardly laughing at himself for saying those words to Timmy, knowing that they meant much more than Timmy would ever know.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all? I hope you had a lovely week.  
> Thank you so much for the comments and the kudos on the previous chapter, I love reading what you guys think!  
> Now this chapter is all about the twins and their biggest secrets which will finally set the wheels in motion and things will start changing, everything will slowly fall apart to be put back together.  
> I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter, and before you say that everything I do is for shock value, it's not. It's just the plot I came up with.  
> Leave a comment down below telling me what you guys think, kudos are always very appreciated as well!  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Bisous x

When Alexander returned to his and his brother’s flat, everything was dark apart from a light next to the armchair Harry was sitting quietly, nursing a glass of Scottish whiskey their father gifted them while pretending to read.

The man didn’t raise his eyes to his brother. If he were anybody else, they would have thought that Harry hadn’t heard Alex coming in, shutting the door and shedding his wet black coat which fell with a thump on the floor.

 Harry was waiting. Waiting for Alex to talk, perhaps curse since that was also a use of language, which Alex favoured when something had gotten completely out of hand. He knew better than act before he had permission to do so, although he deeply wanted to know if his assumption was correct. And if he had learnt anything from spending so many years by his brother's side and seeing how his brain worked, he probably was correct to think that the man had called the boy he loved even though he was strictly ordered not to.

He heard his brother make his way towards him as he turned the page and allowed his eyes to skim over the words of his book, trying to distract himself a little before the first lightning of the storm begun to appear in the electrified room.

He eyed Alex from the corner of his eye, watching as he poured himself a drink. He had shed his white shirt as well and stood next to the table they kept the drinks in only in a tight pair of dress pants, looking more troubled than when he had left.

Alex pushed his wet curls away from his eyes and sat across from his brother, leaning back on the leather armchair and stared outside of the large window at the rain falling heavily.

Harry lowered his gaze back at his book and waited for a couple of seconds until he heard the soft sound of glass being placed upon glass, signalling that his brother had set his glass down at the coffee table. He took a deep breath and closed his book, placing his hands on top of the hardcover.

“He knows everything,” Alex monotonously said making Harry immediately look up at him in confusion which was quickly starting to form into anger. The younger of the two rolled his eyes and shook his head, shaking Harry’s thoughts away with the movement.

“Armie, _he_ told Timmy everything. Well, almost everything judging by how calm he sounded. Timmy would have freaked out if he knew the rest of the story and the side of our story.” Alex looked away from his brother.

Harry nodded slowly and pursed his lips, studying his twin closely looking for some kind of indication that he was upset just because of the new flow of things.

When he found none, he took a large gulp of his drink, feeling the bitter liquor burn his throat in the best way possible and sat up straighter, getting himself ready to attempt to speak some sense into his brother's mind.

“We knew this was going to happen eventually.” He said slowly, overly calm, earning a cynical laugh in return.

“Please do not start reciting how we knew this would sooner or later happen and how we’ve been waiting for it to take action. I’ve very well aware. I was there when we had that conversation with our father if you recall. And if you can’t let me freshen up your memory by reminding you that I was the one who had said how we should step up our game once that happened because it would potentially put Timothée in the harm's way, do you remember that brother dear?” Alexander said, looking straight at his brother, slowly clenching his hand in a fist, in an attempt to remain calm.

Harry just stared at his brother as he took his hald empty glass and took a sip.

“Then why are you upset?” He questioned, furrowing his eyebrows.

Alex exhaled, looking at Harry.

“I’m not upset. At least not about it,” He muttered, looking down at his glass and swirled the amber liquid inside it.

“Then what?” Alex stopped his movements and locked his gaze on the glass which he slowly rested on the arm of the chair. He stood still, so still and without blinking, Harry thought he had stopped breathing until the slightly younger boy swallowed harshly his Adam's apple bobbed. He raised his eyes which had turned glassy up to his brother, who immediately got off his seat and kneeled down in front of his brother taking his larger hands in his.

“Talk to me, Alex,” He whispered, caressing his face with his hand. Alex shook his head and quickly blinked his tears away.

“Timothee in return told him he loves him,” He whispered with a weak and wet, shaky smile.

Harry sighed and leaned back on his haunches, tilting his head back and looking at the white ceiling. He cursed at himself for being an idiot, for allowing his brother too close to something precious when he knew all too well that Alex would easily melt like butter under Timmy’s warm presence.

He stood up and looked down at his brother.

“You and I both knew very well that this would happen, Alex.”

“Stop repeating yourself! For Goodness sakes, Harry!I know okay? I knew he was going to fall for Armie. I knew it way before they knew it themselves! When he returned from Rome, even though he was hurt, he spoke of him in a way which showed an underling affection which he wasn’t even aware he was there!” Alex bellowed standing up as well, his eyes looking icy as ever and if Harry wasn’t used to their cold and empty look he would have faltered, froze but he found himself unaffected.

“Then what _is_ it that bothers you, my dear brother? Do tell me because I’m beyond curious to know what’s going on inside this fucked up head of yours.” Harry said without raising his voice and took a step closer to his taller brother and looked up at him, the fire inside his eyes, ready to burn the whole room to the ground.

“I will never have that.” The taller boy said. His voice was voice quiet, but the words thundered and echoed in the quiet room. His broken tone and the pain inside his mismatched eyes made Harry’s heart ache, and his fists clench as he gritted his teeth, feeling the tingling sensation of sadness crawling up from his legs to his body.

“I will never have the opportunity to freely feel something, withot thinking about what could happen. Without the constant fear of being betrayed, abandoned, perhaps killed. And even though I should, I-I should have been used to the idea of it, I haven’t, Harry.” Alex said softly lowering his gaze to the ground and hugged himself and somehow shrunk, looking just like a child trying to protect himself from the pain of the world.

Harry swallowed and looked ahead out of the window, focusing his eyes on the droplets.

He knew all these. Of course, he did.

But this was who they were, even if it wasn’t their choice and they couldn’t escape it.

Harry opened his mouth to speak and express his thoughts which would hopefully make his twin come to his senses, but before he could utter a single word, Alexander’s eyes darkened, and he straightened up to his normal height shaking his head.

“You do not get to speak, brother. Because you simply do not understand nor you feel the way I do. You enjoy this life. You get high on the chase and adrenaline, the missions the secret identities and wearing different masks for people. You don’t want to settle down. You don’t want to rest. You can’t help but want to keep running and achieving things because even though we were forced into this life, you dreamt of it ever since we were children. But your dream became my nightmare.” The man said turning away from his brother and stared out of the window, watching the distant flashes of a lightning strike and break the London sky in two revealing colours of different dimensions which held hope in them.

Alex took a deep breath and leaned his head on the cool glass, which quickly fogged up by his body heat and the warmth of his exhales.

“Perhaps you were born to become an agent, but I wasn’t. And I sincerely don’t know for how long I can keep this shit show up. We’re living in a lie, Haz. We are using other people to get a taste of what it feels to be normal for a little while, and before we know it, it will be over, and we’ll be back to square one. And when we finish this mission as you so kindly put it and our time will be up, we’ll have to leave nothing will be the same again and not only we’ll have to break other’s people's hearts, but we’ll break our own too. And I don’t know if I can go so much heartbreak again.”

“Which is exactly why I’ve been trying to keep you away from Timothée,” Harry said, crossing his arms on his chest and sent daggers at his brother’s back. Alexander’s shoulders tensed and he turned to face his brother, the icy stare in his eyes impeccably matching with the icy burn of lightning.

“Did you not hear a word I said?” He asked stalking closer to his twin, his steps were soundless and slow, precise and graceful, making him look like a predator animal hunting down his prey.

Harry stood tall and squared his shoulders, the murderous look inside his eyes combined with the dangerously stony, overly calm expression, slowly revealed the beast Harry almost always kept at bay.

“I did, and I agree to some extent. We made a mistake, a big one. And that was bringing someone as innocent and good as Timothée in our lives. That was on me. I took him in, thinking that I was saving him from the harsh world, when in reality, I threw him in the burning flames of our world which is full of pain and danger. And then _you_ , you somehow created a bond with him, and you started _p_ _erfectly_ mirroring each other in a way not even _we_ do. We then saw how we couldn’t live without him, we used our time off to attempt to become somewhat normal. But now this is over. By bringing Timmy in our life, we somehow got ourselves entangled in a case which was much deeper than we thought. And when we were assigned to protect Armie, everything somehow clicked together. Every single thing we’ve been trying to piece together all these years, just mapped itself. It turned out that everything is connected. The pattern you were talking about is real, and now we have bloody proof. Maybe not as much as we would like to, but we are building it up Alex. And we are close to getting to the bottom this case. Don’t mess it up for us, Alexander.”

Alex shook his head with a wet chuckle and brought a large palm up to his face, rubbing his tired eyes.

“You’re missing the point.”

“No, I’m not missing the point, Alex. This is how things are. We have a job and we will finish it. The Secret Intelligences are counting on us. We are agents, _brother_. We do not have time for sentiments nor overthinking situations. If you want to use your feelings instead of your head, then when it’s over, feel proud of yourself for avenging the people we lost. But till that happens, you must focus on the mission and use your mind. I’ll take care of the rest,” Harry’s lips twisted in a sick smile which made Alexander’s stomach twist.

“I don’t understand how you don’t feel anything when you take someone’s life,” Alex said, his voice was small as he lowered himself back on the armchair, looking up at his brother.

“Better them than us, Alex.” He stoically said, taking Alexander’s glass of whiskey and drained it in one go.

The taller boy nodded meekly.

“Do you think that perhaps one day we’ll be free? To live a normal life without hiding in the shadows, covered in blood and gunpowder?” He asked even though he already knew the answer.

“There’s no such thing as normal, brother dear. Don’t fool yourself into an illusion that perhaps one day there will be a way we can get out. There are no loops. If you leave you pay the price with your life, and you know it; you’ve seen how cruel they can be with the runaways. This is how we have to live, even if it wasn’t our choice. You are right; this was my dream ever since I was a child, chasing the bad guys and delivering justice.”

“There are other ways to deliver justice, Harry. And we are no better than the bad guys,” The younger twin spoke up.

“That we are. But that’s how life is, brother. Someone will always be the bad guy in someone’s point of view.” Harry said, filling his glass up once more.

Alex didn’t speak. Instead, he took in his brother’s posture, the way he confidently stood in the middle of the room, looking back at him with eyes which seemed like life had been drained out of them and marvelled the incredible work Harry did of concealing his true self and the darkness he carried in his heart.

“Did you call Saoirse?” Harry questioned after a couple of quiet moments. Alexander nodded, making Harry hum and purse his lips nodding his head as well.

“How is she?”

“She’s fine, waiting for our return. She said she missed me,” Alexander replied and stood up, padding softly towards his room.

“Do you?” He turned around to face his brother, his face holding an unreadable expression.

He wanted to tell his brother that he had missed her, but that would have been a lie, and he wasn’t in the mood to get himself in another thunderous fight him. He just shook his head and leaned on the wall, looking down at his feet.

“Perhaps a part of my brain which enjoys her company does miss her, but my heart doesn’t.” He mumbled, looking up at his brother.

“Why not?” Harry questioned as he lit a cigarette.

Alexander swallowed.

“Because she is not him. It is him I miss,” Alexander confessed with a bittersweet smile.

Harry exhaled the smoke and walked closer to his brother, passing him the cigarette.

“Aren’t you afraid that your love for him will further break you when in the end he’ll choose Armie over you?” He whispered darkly, his eyes flicking up to Alexander’s for a second before lowering them to his full lips, which were wrapped around the thin cancer stick. He watched as if he was in a trance as he parted them to exhale the smoke, before licking them and giving it back to him.

“It will be a pleasure dying from love,” Alexander replied, staring down at his brother.

“I guess so,” Harry shrugged placing the cigarette between his lips and taking a long drag.

“But the thing is, brother dear, you won’t be dying from love. You’ll be dying from heartbreak and from what I’ve heard, it’s not a pleasant way to go,” His lips lifted up in a small smirk and his eyebrows slightly raised, forming the perfect definition of smugness.

Harry shook his head slowly and chuckled at Alexander’s sudden silence.

 He bit down on his cigarette, eyeing the way his twin shifted his gaze away from him and cast it lower at the floor. He followed with his eyes the shallow movement of his chest and the way he breathed as if he was trying to control himself and keep all of his feelings together.

He extended a hand and placed it on his brother’s chest, feeling the fast beating of his heart under his palm.

“Timmy told me one day that he thinks you feel way too much, and that’s why you are on edge all the time.” He said, stroking his naked chest with his fingers.

“Only if he knew how I learnt to control my feelings,” He whispered, letting his back sag against the cold wall. He didn’t even flinch when his back came in contact with the cold surface, and Harry smiled softly, digging his teeth in his lower lip.

“He’d find you even hotter.” He mumbled, licking his lips after he withdrew the cigarette from his mouth. He ran his thumb down Alexander’s extended arm and flicked his eyes with to his mismatched ones, holding his gaze as he pressed the cigarette on his wrist, quickly putting it out and pulled it away before it could cause any damage. Harry’s lips fell open as Alexander’s eyes fluttered shut from the stinging sensation.

Harry almost wanted to coo at his twin from the way his face morphed into the remarkably clever and mysterious Alexander with the impeccably sculpted features, the slightly younger man became with the slightest inflict of pain. Something more primal and needy slowly started unravelling inside Harry, making him breathe in deeply and flex his hand into a fist at his side.

“I don’t think he would. Just like I don’t think Henry would find hot what you’re thinking about right now,” Alexander said pushing his back away from the wall and stepped closer to his brother, their chest coming in contact.

“In fact, he would most probably break up with you, leave you feeling so empty and heartbroken to the point you wouldn’t know where you stand anymore because he took the last good pieces of you and holds them in his clutches. But I bet even if he did all these, you wouldn’t feel anything, would you? Because you are so numb, so high in need to have successful killings in each mission that you turned your heart into a bloody empty and hard stone.” He spat out just like Harry had done just a few moments ago. His words were dripping with venom, which he wished would quickly reach Harry’s system and wake his senses up from their heavily drugged state.

“Sticks and stones, brother. Sticks and stones.” Harry replied, without any emotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you guys think about this?  
> Also I'm not as much on tumblr anymore due to the climate there being kind of weird and toxic but if you guys want to chat hit me up @timotheemonamour and I'll do my best to answer!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all?   
> Thank you so much for the comments and the kudos on the last chapter, I hope you guys liked it and you were pleasantly surprised by the plot twist which is one of the many.  
> I want to inform you all that I finally found how the story is going to end although we are quite a bit away from the end but my brain never shuts up. Like I've previously said in this universe nothing is as it seems and now that I finally have the story and the plot right where I want it things will start to change to fit the plot so if you've asked me a question in the past and I answered it in one way and you see something different happening, it doesn't mean that I was lying to you, but I simply didn't know how things would eventually turn out so, don't come for my head.  
> Now that this is out of the way, let's talk about this angst filled chapter. To me it's a very bittersweet chapter with so many things going on and will continue on the next chapter so, brace yourselves because this one and the next one are going to be a bit rough before we go back to somewhat normal, just warning you.   
> Please leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys things because it is very important to me knowing what you all think about the story and it also gives me motivation to continue and I like chatting with you about things that happen and seeing your opinions. Kudos are always very welcome and appreciated as well.  
> On my last note I said that I'm taking a little break from tumblr but now that's over because a lot of crazy things happen and well, I need to scream somewhere so if you want to scream at me you're more than welcome to do so.  
> Thank you guys so much for reading my story, I love you and appreciate you all so so much.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Bisous x

When the alarm rang on Monday morning, Timmy found it harder than ever to leave the bed and the warmth radiating of Armie’s body which was completely pressed on his under the warm duvet covering them.

The two remained in bed for several long minutes exchanging sleepy smiles and kisses as well as caresses and raspy due to their morning voices ‘good mornings’.

The previous night after a delicious plate of homemade pasta and breathtaking lovemaking they stayed in bed, whispering in each other's mouths words of affection and their dreams when they were kids and things they wanted to do now that they were older, till they fell asleep lulled by the rain steadily falling outside, washing away Timmy’s worries and bad thoughts.

Timmy watched Armie as he got off the bed, his naked body gracefully moving around the room, gathering his discarded clothes from the ground.

“Do you have a shirt which could possibly fit me?” Armie asked, putting on his boxers and turning to look at the small boy huddled under the duvet refusing to leave due to the cold. Timmy breathed in, taking in the way Armie’s muscles moved as he made his way around the room.

“S-sure, I can find something for you,” He nodded with a small smile.

Armie nodded, smiling back at his lover and made his way out of the room, heading towards the kitchen to make them some quick breakfast.

Timmy laid there for a few more seconds staring at the ceiling, not feeling ready to go out in the world again after spending two beautiful days living in a sort of parallel universe. He didn’t want to return to his classes and the hectic everyday life.

When he finally willed himself to stand up, he threw on a warm hoodie and a pair of jeans which caused him to shiver due to how cold they were and padded to Alexander’s room knowing that there he could find clothes which could fit Armie.

He opened the door of the dark room much like he had done the previous night and walked in, breathing in the lingering scent in the air of the man.

After turning on the light and closing the door behind him, wanting a couple of moments of privacy, Timmy walked further in the room. He let his eyes roam around the room, letting them rest on the messy with papers desk. He bit down on his lower lip and slowly padded towards it.

He smiled softly when his gaze landed on the quick and messy sketch he had done of the man on a summer day. It depicted Alexander sitting on the baby Steinway, his back beautifully curved as he hunched over the keys, intensely playing a beautiful piece Timmy was sure he wouldn’t be able to name.

He ran his fingers over it, carefully not to smear the charcoal he hadn’t bothered to spray over with the fixative. When he lifted it up, he found a ripped drawing he had hated and thrown away, but it seemed like Alexander had put it back together with tape and kept it.

Timmy bit his lower lip again trying to conceal his smile and went through the rest of the papers finding more ripped, wrinkled ones he had thrown away as well as some quick sketches he had gifted to Alex or Alex had taken because he liked them.

If his heart was beating fast inside his chest before it was now crazily dancing and sobbing at the same time from the love for the British man. He didn’t know why but he felt overwhelmed with feelings by his little discovery. Knowing that Alex kept all of his sketches, even the meaningless and stupid ones made Timmy feel so loved and appreciated in a way he couldn’t comprehend. He didn’t know why it meant so much to him either, but he appreciated it with all his being.

After slightly calming down from his little moment of excitement he moved over to the mess of black ink fountain pens and scattered ink pots the man always prefered to use, a small quirk Timothée adored.

As he toyed with them, his eyes caught sight of a brown leather record case pressed against the wall, another heap of papers on top of it. Timmy furrowed his eyebrows, knowing that Alex didn’t keep any records in his room but displayed them in the shelf next to the record player in the living room.

He found it bizarre for some reason and couldn’t help himself but reach for it. He placed the papers on the vacant spot where the case used to be and carefully unlatched the case pulling it open.

Inside it, rested alone a single recond. Timmy curiously pulled it out, his breathing hitching when his eyes read over the beautiful cursive letters.

The paper case was plain, white with nothing on it except from black cursive letters beautifully spelling Timmy’s name.

Timmy flipped it over, searching for a tracklist or something which could possibly help him understand what this was but found nothing.

On the bottom of the record was a website and the small letters under it told Timmy that this was a custom made record with songs Alexander had chosen.

He turned his back on the desk and leaned on it, holding the record and slowly caressed it with his fingers the same way he would have done while holding Alexander. He gazed down at the white cover, and he wished he was alone in the flat so he could listen to it alone and try to see himself through Alex’s eyes and mind. Maybe if he did that then he would be able to get close to him, understand him and finally touch him.

Timmy debated with himself if he should send Armie away and miss the first period to stay and listen to it or go on with his day and pretend as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t just found another missing piece which would help him solve the mystery the man was.

He let out a soft, barely audible groan along with a long sigh and lowered his head, his chin touching the top of his chest as he wrapped his arms around the record, holding it close to him. His eyes fluttered shut as he started getting lost inside his head again, his thoughts and feelings getting tangled again.

He and Armie had spent a wonderful weekend together. They had bared their souls, their hearts, their bodies and some of their secrets. So why he always felt haunted by the presence of a certain someone else? Why could he feel his touch, hear his low voice whispering in his ear and see his icy eyes everywhere? Why he felt a constant longing for the man, a fire burning in the pit of his stomach each time he thought about him?

He wondered if he would ever stop feeling breathless each time their eyes met. If the electricity of Alexander’s touch would one day become too much and burn him, cripple him which would make Alexander take care of him for the rest of his life, protect him and hold him take care of him in a way he only knew how. And would Alex like him like that? Would he like to see him desperate for his help, always calling his name and depending on him?

Timothee loosely wrapped his hand around his throat and swallowed feeling his Adam’s apple beneath his palm, as his mind travelled elsewhere, in a room where Alexander would pin his tiny body down on the bed and take him apart little by little before putting him back together, kissing away the slight pain which would have come along with the pleasure.

He exhaled shakily and tightly gripped the edge of the desk in his hands, feeling his heart racing as fast as his mind worked.

He wanted to scream. Let out every single frustration and feeling inside him and lay his body down in the hands of a lover to bask in the silence after the scream, feel the electricity and static feel in the air as the fog disappeared and every single answer he needed painted itself in the air, in the eyes and on the hands of his lover.

 When he shut his eyes instead of finding a pair of ocean blue eyes, he found a pair of mismatched ones which could easily burn cities to the ground. He could hear a faint growly whisper of his name in his ear, the accent heavy filled with danger yet dripping with honey.

He quickly opened them again, feeling unsettled and shaky.

He pushed his back away from the desk and walked to the wardrobe opened it, his small body immediately shaking with a shiver that went down his fragile spine as the strong scent of the man took over his senses.

Timidly, he ran his fingers over Alexander’s shirts before unhanging one of them and bringing it close to his nose, breathing in its scent. He wrapped it around himself and closed his eyes, imagining that Alexander was there holding him in his strong arms, holding onto him for dear life, merging their broken pieces together, till their shadows became one.

He ran his hand on the back of the shirt and opened his eyes, shaking himself awake from his daydream and hanged the shirt back on its hanger. He sighed and took a plain dark blue hoodie which was about a size or two smaller for Alex. Alex never wore it anymore, but he knew it would fit Armie, and without looking back he exited the room, breathing in deeply the air which no longer smelled of the man but of warm coffee and something else.

He found Armie in the kitchen, sitting on the table sipping from a steaming cup of coffee.

Timmy walked towards him and gave him the hoodie.

“Thank you, baby,” Armie smiled up at him and took the hoodie quickly putting it on.

The smaller boy nodded and sat across from him, pulling his leg under him almost like a just who couldn’t reach the table and poured himself some coffee. He felt Armie’s eyes on him as he took a sip from his coffee, his eyes never leaving the plate with French toast.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Armie asked gently, leaning forward to place a warm and comforting hand on top of Timmy’s small one.

Timmy shook his head and slowly pulled his hand away from Armie’s tucking it delicately on his lap.

“I’m fine. It’s just you know, it’s Monday. Back out in the real world,” Timmy replied softly, toying with the fabric of his jeans. He bit carefully down on his tongue to ground himself from saying too much.

Armie nodded slowly trying to understand what was going inside his lovers head.

They had spent such a nice weekend, what had happened now? Why Timmy seemed to be distant? Had he regretted what they did? Was he not as interested in him as he thought he was? Did him revealing his true identity to Timmy had put too much pressure on his shoulders? Was the secret too big for him? Or was it something entirely different?

Timmy had seemed to be fine a few minutes ago before he wandered off to one of the twin’s room, probably Alexander’s to fetch him some clothes.

Was it Alex again who had invaded Timmy’s mind?

Armie slightly clenched his jaw, thinking that even absent, the British man was as present as ever.

Now Armie had never been a jealous man, and he had always tried his best to be understanding. But he had never learnt how to love and deeply care about someone and even now that he had Timmy he struggled to find the correct way to express himself and show his boy that he cared about him.

What he knew very well though was possession.

And Timmy belonged to him. He was his most prized possession as crazy as Armie sounded.

After they both came clean about their feelings and their little adventures with Henry and Alex, Armie hoped the feelings Timmy had for Alex would somehow vanish into thin air, or he would come to the realisation that whatever he and Alex had was meaningless because he and Armie were right for each other.

But apparently, that wasn’t the case.

“Are you having second thoughts about us?” He questioned leaning forwards and placed his elbows on the table, watching Timmy as he ate, keeping his gaze low on the table.

The smaller boy after visibly swallowing, looked up at Armie with his eyebrows furrowed together, creating an almost small line on his forehead.

“No, why would you think that?” He replied softly rubbing his eye with his fist.

“Because you have this clouded look on your face and you look like you’re lost in your thoughts,” Armie said taking a sip of his coffee, holding himself back from asking if he was thinking about someone else.

Timmy sighed and nodded softly, folding his hands in front of him.

“I guess I’m lost inside my head. I keep thinking about the twins. Alex sounded exhausted and at some point almost as if he was forcing himself to speak to me and I wonder if it’s because of something I said,” The smaller boy admitted half of the truth, keeping the more personal thoughts for himself.

Armie exhaled slowly as Timmy confirmed his fear.

He knew that perhaps what he was asking for was hard, considering Timothée found himself a safe place in the company of the British man, both of them but perhaps Alexander a little bit more.

“Maybe he was just tired, or he was somewhere where he couldn’t openly talk to you,” Armie mumbled placing his cup down.

“He was out in Westminster, but I don’t know if he was alone. At first, he was, but maybe someone joined him.” Timmy chose to agree, watching Armie who looked tense in his seat across from him.

They fell silent for a while as they finished up their breakfast. When they were done, Armie moved to the kitchen sink to start washing their dirty dishes but was quickly stopped by Timmy.

“You don’t have to wash them, just leave them in the sink. I’ll come back after my classes are over,” He said, walking towards his lover and laid his head between his shoulder blades and wrapped his thin arms around him.

“Do you want me to return with you?” Armie asked, missing the way the boy tensed which he concealed as a move to wrap his arms tighter around the man.

“No, you don’t have to. I’ll mostly tidy up and take some things I want to my dorm,” He placed a kiss on the man’s shoulder.

Armie nodded, deciding not to push the subject more and cause even more tension between them than there already was.

“I’m going to grab another sweater, and we’ll be on our way,” Timmy said, pulling away from Armie and silently but quickly made his way to his room.

While Timmy stared at his reflection in the mirror across of him, Armie leaned over the sick, holding himself up by his arms.

All they could simultaneously think and mutter out loud was:

“What the hell is going on?”

 

-

 

When they walked through the doors of the university, the atmosphere between them had eased. They were back to normal, smiling and talking as if nothing had ever happened between them. As if fear wasn’t slowly sneaking inside their hearts to make a warm home there.

Armie had an arm wrapped around the smaller boy’s waist, his head thrown back in glee and laughter at something had said, feeling as if everything would work out just fine between them. Or at least he hoped they would.

As they made their way up the stairs to the crowded hallways filled with sleepy students carrying paper cups of coffee and their bags, greeting their friends good morning and chatting about the classes of the day or about their lives, Armie’s eyes left Timmy’s for a second to land on a tall, curly-haired man he knew all too well, leaning against the wall with Saoirse cuddled on his side, wrapped inside one of his strong arms.

Armie tried his best not to react, not wanting Timmy to run straight in the man’s arms.

He exhaled slowly calming his racing heart and sneakily glanced at him, finding Alexander staring back at him with his icy mismatched eyes, his jaw set tight as he took in his attire which contained one of Alexander’s old sweatshirts and his pair of jeans.

Armie felt himself smirk lightly and held his head higher, feeling a sense of achievement wash over him as he held Timmy closer and tighter.

 He knew that there was absolutely no reason for him to feel competitive against Alexander since he had exactly what the man wished to have, but he couldn’t help but feel more powerful and as if he was on top of the world, making Alexander look small and unimportant.

He bit his lower lip and looked down at his lover, feeling bold all of a sudden.

He spun Timmy to him and brought him closer, cupping his face in his hands and leaned down, capturing their lips in a slow kiss.

When Alexander’s trained eyes caught sight of a certain beautiful boy walking up the stairs, his first instinct was to pull away from the blonde-haired girl who had tucked herself under his arm and run to him, wrap him up in his arms and promise him that he would never leave him again.

He then noticed someone taller than Timmy on his side, holding him by the waist and smiling down at him as Timmy talked about something.

His back met the wall once more, his heart falling down to the pit of his stomach as a bile formed in his throat and he tried his best to hold back the feelings of hurt which rushed towards him almost knocking him off his feet.

In order to ground himself, he tenderly ran his hand up and down Saoirse’s waist. The human contact making him feel somewhat better for a couple of seconds until he realised that the Armie was wearing one of his old sweatshirts.

He inwardly chuckled at how pathetic he felt right then and there.

Alex had gotten on the first plane in the morning in spite of his brother’s protests, wanting to return to Paris as soon as possible to see Timmy again, needing the comfort and warmth the boy freely offered him.

Seeing Armie wearing his old clothes made him realise just how real things were, how he had everything that once was his.

Armie had everything Alexander dreamed of.

He had the boy’s love. He owned Timmy’s heart and mind, and he was probably all Timmy cared about.

When Timmy had told him on the phone how he had told Armie he loved him, Alex felt hurt. He felt as he had been stabbed with a knife and now witnessing with his own eyes that Timmy truly loved the taller boy he felt as if that same knife was slowly twisting inside his skin, cutting him deeper and he wanted to cry out, perhaps scream till his lungs felt numb.

He averted his eyes from the pair when Armie leaned down to kiss Timmy, feeling his heart and his eyes stinging with tears threatening to make an appearance. His whole stance changing, slumping against the wall as if his legs were unable to keep him up straight.

Saoirse looked up at him with soft eyes, almost as if she knew. As if she understood his pain and gently embraced him, pressing a sweet kiss on his cheek.

“I missed you so much,” She whispered and laid her head on his shoulder, allowing him to rest his head on top of hers and close his eyes as he slowly pieced his new puzzle together.

“I missed you too, love,” He whispered back, catching himself before he said Timmy’s name, quickly changing it with a simple pet name.

 

-

When Timmy pushed open the door of his dorm, he was immediately greeted by Troye, who was his usual happy self even on this moody Monday morning.

“How was the weekend with the American hottie?” Troye asked as he picked up his book from his bed.

Timmy inwardly cringed at Troye’s use of words but said nothing.

“It was fine I guess,” He replied nonchalantly sitting down on his bed and looked around the small room in where he had little to no memories to fill up his mind. Maybe this should be his safe place from now on.

“Just fine? C’mon Tim; you can do better than that!” Troye said, sitting down across of his friend.

Timmy sighed and shrugged.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you,” He mumbled softly, his eyes catching sight of a small box sitting on his nightstand. He didn’t remember putting it there.

“What’s that?” He asked, looking at Troye.

The fake blonde shrugged mimicking Timmy’s nonchalant behaviour.

“I don’t know. Alexander poped by and left it for you.” He replied, watching as Timmy immediately perked up.

“Alex is back?” He asked, his eyes slowly returning to their usual sparkly green.

“Yeah, he didn’t stay long or said anything apart from a simple good morning and to give you this.”

Timmy nodded with a soft smile, and he took the dark blue velvet box in his hand, carefully opening it up, finding a white card with Alexander’s neat cursive letters. He placed the card carefully on his lap and smiled wider when he took a look at the continents of the box.

Inside it carefully and delicately laid a beautiful silver thin chained necklace with a delicate pendant of a pair of wings, matching the ink on the man’s back.

Timmy smiled, running his thumb gently over the pendant, feeling his heart finally settle to its usual fast pace when something had to do with the British man.

He took the simple white card in his hand and read it.

“A piece of me is a piece of you now. Resting next to your heart as it should be and you only need to breathe to feel me,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all? I hope you had a lovely week!  
> Thank you so so much for the comments on the last chapter and I'm terribly sorry for taking so long to reply to them.  
> Did any of you guys listen to Harry's new song? I think it's really good and I love the different vibe!  
> This chapter is another emotional roller-coaster, I feel like I've been saying this for the past few chapters and everyone is sick of it and craves a chapter which floats like a little fairy.It will happen at some point, peace is coming. Someday. For now have a little more heartbreak.  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think of this chapter and Harry's new song if you'd like.   
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday,  
> Bisous x

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on tumblr @timotheemonamour

The second Timmy’s classes finished, the small boy rushed out of his classroom, ignoring the stares he received from his classmates and Saoirse’s voice softly calling his name.

Throughout the day, he had done his best to avoid Armie, needing time to get his thoughts together.

He hadn’t seen Alexander or Harry at all, which made him question whether they were avoiding him or they were simply busy. Or perhaps in the worst-case scenario, he was losing his mind, and everything, including the pendant around his neck, was a cruel fragment of his imagination.

He quickly descended the stairs, holding his head down, making sure to blend in the crowded hallways since he didn’t want any of his friends to know he was leaving.

When he finally stepped out of the university, and the cold air hit his face, Timmy finally felt like he could breathe again. He tilted his head up to the moody grey sky. It looked like it was about to rain again and Timmy wanted nothing more than to walk in the rain, feeling the cold droplets washing away his thoughts and fears, everything that was holding him back from making a final decision and rebirth him.  
  
He had found it hard to concentrate on his classes all day, his mind was elsewhere, stuck on the record he had found, his fingers idly toying with his pendant. He wondered what was in it the record.

Were they songs Alexander associated with him, perhaps music wrote for him? The thought alone was enough to bring butterflies to Timmy’s stomach thinking of Alexander carefully picking songs which reminded the man of him and putting them together in a record for Timmy.

He smiled at the ground as he walked, wrapping his arms around his body to keep himself warm.

The sky was as moody as it was when he and Armie had left the house but the wind had picked up, making Timmy shiver even under his layer of clothes. His soft curls were dancing in the wind, his cheeks and nose were red, making him look even more adorable and youthful.

Timmy always found it peaceful walking alone through the streets of Paris in the winter, even when the cold wind made him chill to the bone. He had loved it ever since he was young. He remembered himself walking home from school and taking the long way home, walking along the bridges, stopping to take in small details on them and to stare at the boats which came and went across the Seine. He adored going to the Notre Dame at a certain hour of the evening when the light came through the rose window casting the most beautiful light which illuminated the entire church.

He remembered taking Alex there one evening a couple of days after they moved to Paris. He could still feel the cold on his skin from the wintery evening and the warmth in his heart from the way Alexander had slowly sat down in one of the benches inside the church, looking at the light with an expression so humbled and soft, looking almost like he could not believe he was witnessing such a beauty. His features were beautifully illuminated by the soft winter light, his skin had a soft, gentle almost inner glow and the various specks of gold in his blue and green eyes looked like a million golden suns, causing Timmy to feel weak at the knees.

Timmy recalled how the man had lifted his hand towards the light, delicately moving his fingers slowly through it, and even without uttering a single word his expression said more than his rosy mouth ever would. At that moment Alex reminded Timmy of a blind man who had just seen the light for the first time, the small tears shining in the corners of his eyes when Alexander had turned to look at him with a soft expression full of awe emphasised it even more.

The small boy didn’t like taking people to places he loved going alone, because not only they couldn’t understand the reason why Timmy loved these places but when they left him, never looking back again, he had to deal with the painful memories of the good times whenever he went back, and he couldn’t stand it.

But Alexander was different. He wasn’t like anyone else Timmy had ever seen before in his life. Because he understood, he somehow understood without Timmy having to explain to him anything; he just got it.

And if he left him, then Timmy would embrace the bittersweet pain he would leave him with and all the memories. He would keep everything close to his heart, let himself shimmer in the memories which would slowly burn him, but he would embrace it too. He’d bask in the pain the same way he basked in the love Alexander was giving him.

When he was nearing his block of flats, he stopped and stared at it, looking up at the big Haussman building with the small balcony and pale blue roof. He looked at the floor where his flat was located and behind his eyes started playing images of him and the twins, dancing around and showering together, giggling in each other’s mouth and quietly reading to each other, tangled in white sheets as the city of lights was falling asleep.

His flat had always been his safe place, where he could find peace in the heart of the city yet somehow, miles away from the chaotic world.

He had been sceptical at first, overthinking if he wanted to bring Armie back there, afraid the flat would reveal to him much more than Timmy wanted him to know, sides which he wanted to reserve for the twins and the twins only, as well as feelings and memories which were way too precious to him and he, didn’t want to tarnish.

He now felt as if his flat was no longer his, like a new energy had entered it, almost like a ghost which was haunting the place, making it feel eerie.

He shivered by the thought and breathed in deeply walking in, focused on his mission of finding what the record contained.

He walked in the building and quickly made his way towards the lift, which thankfully was there, so he didn’t have to wait for it to come and quickly walked in, pressing the button for his floor. He slumped back on the mirror and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples, trying to ease the headache which was slowly forming and wrapped his arms around himself, feeling colder than he was outside.

When the doors opened, he breathed out a long sigh and stepped out of the lift walking towards the flat, toying with the keys inside the pocket of his jeans.

The second he stepped in the flat, he knew something had changed in the atmosphere. The eerie and slightly cold feeling from around the flat when Armie was around had disappeared and got replaced by something warm, almost burning and overstepping the line of danger.

He softly closed the door behind him and placed his backpack down, letting his jacket fall off his shoulders and onto the ground beneath him, a bad habit he had picked up from the man who was already invading his space and feelings even without being within Timmy’s eyesight.

He kicked his shoes off and walked through the quiet flat. The sound of the old floor softly creaking beneath his socked feet, the rain slowly picking up once more outside and the muffled sound of Frank Sinatra softly singing coming from the library on the far end of the hallway made Timmy feel as if he was slowly surfacing to reality, all the fog and darkness from the depths of the sea disappearing as he merged from the sea, breathing in the clean salty air which was Alexander’s calming and familiar scent.

He leaned on the doorframe, watching Alexander, who was sitting on the armchair, with his eyes shut a troubled expression on his face and a book resting on his bare chest.

He bit his lower lip, smiling softly as Alexander’s eyes fluttered open almost as if he had felt Timmy staring at him, and knowing Alex, he probably had.

“You used to play this record a lot when I met you,” Timmy observed as he moved closer to the handsome man, running his long fingers through his unruly curls in a soothing manner, making Alexander’s eyes to fall shut again, an appreciative hum escaping from his soft lips.

“I did?” The man questioned, keeping his eyes shut, allowing himself the luxury of enjoying the soft caress he was receiving now that he could, knowing that way sooner than he would like, it would have to end so he can focus on what he was assigned to do.

Timmy hummed before answering.

“You did. Harry told me that you play it when you feel sad,” He stated watching as Alex lifted the heavy book off his chest and closed it, before setting it on the small round table next to them. He picked up the glass of whiskey and brought it up to his lips, taking a long sip before looking up at the beautiful boy.

“Is there anything else I’m not aware about myself?” He questioned, balancing the glass on the arm of the chair and wrapped his arms around the boy’s small waist and brought him on his lap. The boy instantly laid his head between Alex’s collarbones, his ling fingers slowly trailing up and down the man’s hard stomach. He gently pressed his lips on the corner of Alex’s lips and closed his eyes.

“You drink whiskey when you’re feeling defeated by life.” He whispered brushing his soft cheek over Alex’s prickly one, the slightly scratching sensation caused the soft hairs on the back of his neck stand and his cock, twitch in interest under his layer of clothes.

“You’re quite observant, aren’t you petal?” Alexander mused, tucking a stray curl behind Timmy’s ear, away from his eyes, wanting to look at the boy’s eyes without any barriers between them, so he could memorise the beautiful pools of hazel green again for when he wouldn’t be allowed to look at them.

“I learnt from the best,” Timmy replied with a playful smile, making Alex’s heart skip a beat and swallow harshly, gripping Timmy tighter.

“What do I usually drink?” He questioned, doing his best to slow down the time, needing a little more with the boy he loved.

“Vodka, and on your very rare good days, wine,” Alexander’s lips lifted up to a small smile. He had never realised these things about himself, outside of the missions, in his everyday life his body and mind worked on autopilot, and most of the times he did things without realising it. And now, knowing that his little love noticed these little details, he failed to notice about himself made his heart ache.

“You also prefer your coffee and tea black,” Timmy went to continue, but Alex shook his head and ran his thumb over Timmy’s sweet lips, quietening the boy down as he did so.

“No more talking, love. Let us enjoy the sound of the rain and Frank’s voice,” Alex whispered, bringing the smaller boy closer to him, allowing him to comfortably curl in his lap with his head on Alex’s shoulder and his socked feet gently resting on Alexander’s thigh.

Timmy closed his eyes enjoying the warmth radiating off the older boy’s body, his mind once more proceeding to compare this feeling of a fire licking his skin yet somehow without burning him, with the feeling of the almost lukewarm which did it’s best to warm up, feeling he got when he was with Armie.

He hated comparing the two men, knowing very well their differences and hating finding the facts which made it look like Alex was made for him instead of Armie and he felt as if he was lying to himself and everyone else around him.

Was he lying, though? And why couldn’t he figure out his feelings about the two men?

Was he actually that young and stupid that he couldn’t understand which one was true love and what wasn’t or was he just that damaged that he just took and took everything from everyone in order to fill the cracks in his heart?

“You’re thinking way too loud,” Alexander mumbled, brushing his lips over Timmy’s soft cheek.

“Am I?” He asked, turning his head to face the older boy, their lips briefly touching in the process.

“You are. What’s bothering you, petal?” Timmy shook his head slowly and sighed, caressing Alexander’s cheek with the back of his fingers.

“Where’s Harry?” He asked, not wanting to voice his thoughts, too afraid he was going to ruin their perfect moment.

“He is still in England. I came earlier to see you, because I missed you,” Alexander replied as he sat up straighter, moving Timmy’s body as he did so.

Timmy smiled at that and turned to face the British man. His heart fell on his stomach when his eyes fell upon the icy expression on Alexander’s face and the undescribable look inside his eyes.

The man let out a deep chuckle, the low and dangerous sound vibrating against Timmy’s side making him freeze for a second before his brain started overworking again and Alex could clearly see and hear what was going inside Timmy’s head since the boy’s feelings were so transparent, a completely 180 from him. He breathed in deeply knowing that there was no other way to keep them both safe from Harry’s wrath and from the crazy life Alex was forcefully thrown in and additionally from Armie’s anger if he found out what was going on behind his back. And besides all that, he wanted Timmy to be happy, and Alexander knew that he would never be able to be the reason for Timmy’s happiness, they were doomed from the very start.

“I came back because I missed you so much and I couldn’t bear being away from you. And I waited for you in the hallway hoping that for once in my life, I could pretend I was in a cheesy black and white movie with a happy end. I hoped that you’d meet me in the hallway, run in my arms and I would hold you so tight. I’d kiss you, and we would never part again. What I got instead was a bucket of ice-cold water washing over me, when you came up the stairs with Armie’s arms around you and him wearing my old clothes. And I swear to you, I’ve never felt more pathetic in my life. Never. Because I realised you were never mine to hold or kiss. You always belonged to someone else that wasn’t me and this time around, even more so.” He calmly said, locking his eyes with Timmy’s and doing his best to stay calm and collected even though his heart ached inside his chest by the hurt expression on Timmy’s features and his glassy green eyes.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Timmy whispered, tangling his fingers in Alexander’s dark locks and tugged at them gently making Alex look up at him again when the man couldn’t take the broken look on Timmy’s features anymore.

“I’m not doing anything to you petal. I’m doing this for you, so you can be happy with the man you love-“

“But I love you too, Alexander!” The smaller boy exclaimed tightening his grip on Alex’s hair till it became painful, but Alex didn’t comment on it.

“Our love is something greater than the love between Armie and me, between any couple in this world. What we have is beyond words because it’s something so true and real. You cannot explain real love, it’s like trying to explain why the sunrises or why the moon falls,” Timmy desperately said trying to get the older boy to understand how he felt for him, something incredibly hard since he did not understand it himself.

So instead of saying anything further, he leaned in and captured Alexander’s lips in a slow kiss, trying to convey to the British man how much he meant to him. Alexander didn’t try to push him away. Instead, he brought him closer to him, holding him as tightly as he could knowing that this was going to be their last kiss for a long while, or perhaps it was the last time they would kiss each other.

They both did their best to try and say what they couldn’t say out loud. They admitted their love, how much they deeply cared about each other, and how they had to part for Timmy’s sakes.

Alexander felt like Timmy understood what he was telling him through their kiss when he felt a hot tear slide from the boy’s eye down his cheek before it melted between them, and Alex tasted the saltiness of it.

When they slowly pulled back, needing to breathe, they remained close to each other. Their lips brushed over each other every few seconds in soft, barely-there kisses and breaths in each other’s mouth, almost as if they tried to breathe a little bit of their soul in the other so they could always belong to each other.

As they exchanged whispered soft ‘ I love you’s’, Alexander remembered how he wanted to say hurtful words to the smaller boy to make him hate him, but he couldn’t destroy his perfect angel, and he felt happy he hadn’t indulged in the sick ways of his demons. It would have destroyed him first before Timmy, and as much as he didn’t mind receiving all the pain in the world in order to make his lover happy, he wasn’t capable of doing it this time.

He pressed a soft kiss on Timmy’s forehead like he always did and let his eyes fall shut as he silently prayed to whoever God was above listening to him that he was doing the right thing by keeping the cherubic’s boy’s heart as safe as he could even though it meant sending himself to hell.

-

Timmy felt numb and cold when he returned to his dorm. He felt like he could sleep for a thousand years, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

He laid down on his made bed and stared at the ceiling breathing slowly in and out of his parted lips as he went over the events of the day.

When he had woken up next to Armie he was happy even though there was a slightly unsettling feeling swirling around his stomach, but he had blamed it all on the fact it was Monday, and it meant returning to his everyday life.

Was he happy that he was in Armie’s arms? Yes, he was, he really was happy with Armie. Armie was good to him, and he cared about him and loved him, and Timmy in return cared about him and loved him, but there was electricity missing between them.

Sure, there were sparks as people liked to say, but there was no fire. And he craved that fire.

When he found the pendant on his bedside table, he felt that fire even though the person who had caused that fire wasn’t next to him.

And when he finally got close to the fire and could finally touch it, the fire got too much and burnt him.

Timmy could understand why people always said don’t play with fire because you will get burned, but what was the point if the red flames didn’t embrace you? If he didn’t want to get burned, he would have stayed away and just watch the flames burn everything to the ground, but he had wanted to feel them dancing slowly on his skin. And truth be told it had been a beautiful sight.

He exhaled slowly and wrapped his fingers around the delicate pendant Alex had gifted him and held it close to his heart where it should always be like Alexander wrote to him.

He laughed softly to himself thinking how he’d rather have the man close to his heart instead of the pendant, but he felt a weird satisfaction just because if the words Alexander had used in his short note.

A piece of me, he had written.

A piece of him, almost as if it was a particle, a puzzle piece for Timmy to put in his puzzle to help him figure out Alexander.

-

Harry walked out of his room, making his way to the living room a few minutes after hearing the front door fall shut signalling Timmy’s departure.

He leaned his body on the door frame and crossed his legs looking at his brother standing next to the window with another glass of whiskey in his shaky hand, his shoulders tense upon hearing Harry’s footsteps.

“What you did requires a strong pair of balls, brother,” Harry said, pushing his back away from the doorframe and walked towards Alexander.

“If you say another word I won’t hesitate to throw you out of this very fucking window Harry, and don’t for even a second think I won’t do it,” The younger twin replied.

Harry moved to open the window and stepped out on the small balcony, looking down at the cars passing by.

“What on _earth_ are you doing?” Alex questioned, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Checking how high the drop is, see if it’s worth it.” Harry’s lips to tilt up in a smirk, a very prominent dimple making its appearance on his cheek.

Alexander rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, shaking his head.

“Can’t a man be proud of his twin for finally doing the right thing?” Harry questioned moving back to Alex’s side, closing the window and leaning his back on the glass.

“Not when said man is an arsehole who doesn’t feel shit due to his condition,” Alexander took a sip of his drink and passed the glass to his brother, who quickly put his lips right where Alexander’s had been.

Harry shrugged afterwards and licked his lips.

“Still got a better love life than you,” Alexander slowly turned to him, his eyes as dark as ever and Harry inwardly praised himself for getting his brother so worked up.

“As if you are capable of loving anyone except yourself, you’re only using Henry for sex, and I honestly can’t wait for the day when he’ll need you to care for him, and you won’t be able to do it,” Harry raised his eyebrows at Alex’s words.

“Remind me, my dear, haven’t I taken exceptionally good care of Timmy all these years? Haven’t I been there for him when he needs me?”

“No, because your body might have been there, but your heart wasn’t. And you might have your way with words like no one else does. But words, are just words and can easily be gone with the wind but feelings Harry, feelings last. Just like actions do, and when you feel something so deeply in your heart, it gives you way more power than you think you possess,” Harry chuckled at his brother’s words and moved his hands in his pockets after balancing his glass on top of the fireplace.

“Feelings in our world make us weak, Alex. We used to kill nearly every day, do you remember that?” Alex exhaled, his hands slowly trembling at his sides as his head started filling with the sound of gunshots echoing, and the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth, his eyes almost stinging from the harsh chemicals.

He closed his eyes and behind his closed lids appeared the image of him, holding onto Irene as she gasped for breath, her beautiful face was smeared with blood, all the colour drained from her skin while her eyes were glassy as she looked up at him or at least he believed she was looking at him.

The rain was pelting down on them, causing her body to tremble harder in his arms while he did his best to keep her warm even though he too was soaked to the bone. His body was aching from the impact of the two bullets which had pierced his side, but he gritted his teeth and did his best to stay alive to care for her, keep her safe in her last few moments, not wanting his friend to go alone like so many of their agents had gone that night.

It had always been Irene’s biggest fear, she had told Alex one night on the train on their way back from Vienna. And then there they were, with Alex holding her as she took her last breaths.

When her eyes had closed, and her heart had stopped beating, Alex still held onto her as he lowered his body to the concrete floor, as his own body couldn’t take the pain anymore and let himself be embraced by the peaceful darkness, knowing that at his friend was waiting on the other side for him.

But when he woke up at some point a couple of days later, the bright lights of the hospital room blinding him and with a constant static noise in his ears and Harry sleeping on the bed across of him, Alex wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel.

Later on, when Harry informed it that he was the only one who had survived the shooting out of the five agents who had gone there, Alex felt worse than he had ever felt in his whole life. He wished he had died along with them, he must have died along with them. He remembered telling Harry that and Harry holding him while he cried about everything, about Irene, how he was a failure to his team and how they deserved to be alive instead of him.

He remembered going to the HeadQuarters after he was free to go from the hospital, returning them his guns, his badges and identities and the bits and pieces of equipment they had given him.

Their director had shaken his hand and wished him a quick recovery because they would be expecting him back as soon as he had recovered since he and his brother were their best men.

The following days had been hell for Alex, he drowned himself in self-pity and self-loathing, not understanding how could he possibly be wanted back to service when he had been shot twice and lost every single one of his team. He blamed himself for the mission failing, he hated himself for being alive and for failing, he hated himself in general.

Every day he would wake up drenched in sweat as nightmares started. He would see the same faces again and again, but each time his dreams were slightly different, one worse than the other. Panic attacks started occurring, and every noise, even the tiniest one sounded loud enough for him to scream out in pain. He cut his hair almost as if he was back into the military, short sides and fuller top. He found himself way too many times a day under cascading water in the shower shivering and silently crying wishing for everything to just end.

“Alex?” Harry’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked at his brother with bloodshot eyes, tears sliding down his face.

“I can’t go through that again, H. I simply can’t,” He said lowering himself on the sofa nearby and placed his head in his hands, breathing deeply trying to calm himself down.

Harry sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around his brother, holding him close to him.

“I know it’s hard for you. But let’s finish this one. We’re doing this for Timmy and his mother and for Emma. For Henry’s family. For Armie’s father, for Armie himself so they can be safe and happy because we care about them and they are our friends and lovers. And then I promise you, I’ll find a way to set you free, Alex.” He whispered, resting his head on Alexander’s.

“And if we can’t keep them safe?” Alex voiced his biggest fear, looking at his brother.

Harry smiled gently and wiped a tear from his brother’s cheek.

“We will. You will. Because you deeply care about him in ways nobody else can.” He whispered back.

Alexander leaned in his brother’s embrace, allowing himself to believe in the illusion that Harry actually cared about him and could sympathise with him. He needed the comfort of his hug and his words, after all, to feel a little bit in peace with himself.

Harry smiled softly when he felt Alexander’s breath falling back to normal, and his heart beating at its usual slow pace. He tilted Alex’s face to his by placing two careful fingers under his chin and pressed a soft reassuring kiss on his lips, knowing that this was his only way to show him he truly cared about him, but he just did it in his own unique way.

“We’ll be okay, baby.” He whispered on his lips and caressed his cheek with his fingers.

Alexander nodded.

“What did you do with the record? You know that he’ll be back for it, right?” The older twin questioned.

“I took care of it. It’s safe, along with our guns and our badges.” Alex replied, smiling softly at his brother.

“Good, good. We have nothing else to worry about for now.”

 

\--

Armie sighed, nuzzling his cheek in Henry’s chest, the dark hair tickling his nose and making his cheek itch but he liked it. He liked the way Henry’s body felt pressed against his, he liked the softness of his skin and the fullness of his muscles. He liked his scent too.

Henry was idly playing with the blonde strands of Armie’s hair, staring down at him as he had his eyes closed, his features looking soft like they always did when they were in each other’s presence, fully calm, knowing that they could trust each other with their lives.

He had missed Armie over the weekend. It had felt weird to be alone in their dorm, waking up without him and not having someone to tease and playfully banter with. He had spent all of his life with Armie in the same room as him, sharing every waking moment with him. He knew that two days were nothing, but it still made him feel weird and on edge, worrying about Armie for no apparent reason because he knew he was in good hands.

Or at least Henry wanted to believed he was.

So having Armie back in their dorm, in his bed and in his arms made him feel safe, as if he was where he should be, there wasn’t a trace of fear or worry anymore. Just peace of mind.

He felt as if he could easily fall asleep with Armie lying on his chest, their breaths falling into beat together.

Armie blinked his eyes and looked up at him with an easy smile, dimpled smile before settling back on his side and started to run his fingers through the dark hair on his chest but remaining silent.

And all Henry could think of was how easy it was, being with him, without exchanging a single word yet knowing how they were both thinking of the same thing.

How simple their lives were when they were together.

Henry leaned down pressing a kiss on Armie’s golden hair and held him a bit tighter wishing this could last forever but kept on the back of his mind that something would always keep them on their toes.

Or to word it correctly, someone.

He sighed and looked down at Armie again, hating to break the spell between them, but he knew he had to for their own good.

“Your mother called,” He mumbled softly, hoping that Armie had fallen asleep and wouldn’t hear him, but of course that wasn’t the case.

Armie stiffened in his arms and looked up at him with his gorgeous ocean eyes, and Henry wanted to take everything back.

“What did she want?” Armie asked using his arms to lift himself up till he was hovering above Henry.

Henry shrugged and shook his head.

“She didn’t say. She just told me she wanted to talk to you because it’s urgent.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my loves! How are you all?  
> I'm so sorry for not posting last week but life has been crazy and I've been drowning with 'adult responsibilities' and I've been working on a few other exciting things which I'm hoping to post before Christmas, and I can't wait for you guys to see them!  
> Now now, this is a small chapter, but it's actually quite crucial because it's giving us a little bit of an insight on how the story could possibly end. I promise the next chapter will be bigger, so stay tuned for it!  
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think, kudos are always very appreciated.  
> Thank you so much for being patient with me.  
> I love you and appreciate you all very much,  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday!  
> Bisous x

Armie breathed out the smoke through his nose, looking ahead of him at the Seine, the waters calmy rippling in the morning breeze. The city would wake up from moment to moment even though the sky was remotely dark outside and Armie wasn’t sure if he was prepared for what the new day would bring.

He had found himself twisting and turning throughout the night, sleep refusing to take him in his warm embrace to offer him a few peaceful hours before the dawn broke and the first light of the day sneaked in his and Henry’s room, but in the meantime, he was also glad because it had given him time to think.

Think about everything which had gone on the past couple of months, leading up to the events of the last few days and the feelings which had developed as time flowed.

One night’s lust had turned to desperation, and the desperation had become a revelation for Armie, causing him to see the world differently, see his friends differently, and the boy he pinned after. All these had slowly turned into admiration, and feelings Armie couldn’t precisely describe because he had never felt them before, at least not like this or this profound. He felt as if he had closed the world in his palm.

But at the same time, he felt unsure.

Unsure whether whatever he was feeling was real or he was taking his mind off more important things by using something shiny and pretty and if it would turn into rust in the long run.

He didn’t know where the uncertainty had come from, but it was slowly and steadily sneaking in his heart, making a home for itself there. And the fact that Timmy seemed to be as uncertain as him, was making everything harder.

When a particularly strong gust of wind blew his way, Armie shivered and cursed at himself for not wearing a hoodie over his t-shirt.

He looked down at the water and placed his hands on the bridge, grounding his teeth on his cigarette, a headache slowly developing both because of the cold and the thoughts inside his head.

“Thinking about jumping in?” Armie closed his and exhaled through his nose and turned to look at Alex who was making his way towards him, looking graceful as ever in his black hoodie and shorts, brushing his hair away from his forehead.

“I’m getting there,” Alexander chuckled and leaned on the railing next to Armie. Up close, Alexander didn’t look quite as flawless as he did from afar, at least not today. He looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes and a little paler than usual, but his attitude was surprisingly pleasant instead of cutting and harsh, like Armie was when he was tired.

“Got another one?” Alex asked, motioning at the cigarette between Armie’s lips. Armie raised an eyebrow but nodded taking his packet out of his pocket, along with his lighter and passed it to Alexander.

Armie watched Alexander as he put a cigarette between his lips and lit it, taking a deep drag and holding the smoke for a few seconds before releasing it, his eyes fluttering shut in the most delicate way which drove Armie mad.

How could he be so rough on the edges yet so fucking delicate?              

It was no wonder why Timmy was so enraptured by him.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Armie muttered turning away from Alex and looked ahead of him.

“I sometimes do, mostly when I need to kill pieces of myself to stay alive and keep going.” The British man explained in a gentle tone, almost shy to be confessing it to someone else.

Armie turned back to him, racking his eyes all over the man standing so gracefully next to him.

Alexander stood tall without slouching. His wild eyes leisurely blinked as his chest rose and fell peacefully, no signs of shortness of breath even though he had probably been running for miles. Even the wind blowing couldn’t mess with the picture-perfect he was, instead it brought a soft touch of colour on his pale cheeks and lips and it looked like it was stroking his hair instead of messing it.

“And what do you want to kill today?” He asked, taking a drag of his cigarette.

Alex shrugged and hang his head between his shoulders, his teeth grounding down on the cancer stick to keep it from falling.

Armie heard him sigh and tilt his head slightly towards him. He watched as he withdrew the cigarette from his lips and held it between his fingers.

“My fears, I guess.” The British man replied.

Armie snorted and coughed as he withdrew the cigarette from his lips.

How could Alex be afraid of anything? He seemed so indifferent about the world moving and shifting around him and even the very few times he had seen him care, it didn’t look like he had fears.

“You have fears?” He asked, incredulously.

Alex nodded, a few longer curls falling in his eyes, making him strangely resemble Timmy. He then chuckled looking up at Armie again.

“You sound so disbelieving,”

“Because I would have never guessed that a man like you would have fears,” Armie replied.

“A man like me?” Alex questioned, unable to understand what Armie meant.

Armie nodded before replying.

“Yes. You always look so fearless and unbothered. Like nothing could ever touch you. I feel like you are immune to fear almost as if you are—"

“Heartless,” Alexander finished for the American man, his expression and his tone overly calm a perfectly on spot imitation of his brother.

Armie shivered by his calm yet dangerous tone but quickly masked it by pretending to be cold.

“I wasn’t going to say that.” He slowly said, trying to pick his words carefully, knowing very well that he was treading on thin ice.

“And _what_ were you going to say?” Alex’s tone remained cold and stoic, and Armie wanted to disappear into thin air due to the power the other man was holding over him just by his tone. He hadn’t even straightened up to his full height, his eyes hadn’t darkened, and his features were calm, knowing that he was in full control of the situation and yet he looked terrifying.

Armie decided to stay quiet not daring to push his luck, somewhere deep inside him feeling scared Alex would hurl him in the river.

“I’m not heartless, or at least not as much as I show. I do have a heart. I just protect it, keep it sheltered because the world is harsh, I’ve seen it be colder than you possibly imagine.” Alexander sincerely told him.

Armie nodded, feeling his breath getting caught in his throat, the words feeling like a hard punch in his stomach.

What could he have possibly seen that caused him to become so cold?

“I sadly have a hefty amount of skeletons in my closet. I’m not proud of them, by all means, but I can’t do anything to take them out, because nobody will understand.” The curly-haired man continued, and Armie understood what he meant.

“I get what you mean,” He said gently placing his hand on Alex’s shoulder.

Alex smiled cryptically, looking at Armie in the eyes.

“I know,”

 

\--

“Will you stop pacing? You’re giving me a headache,” Henry mumbled trying to focus on his notes of Administrative Law for the next days class.

“You’re not even looking at me, how am I giving you a headache?” Armie stood pacing to look at Henry who was sitting cross-legged on his bed, hovering over a pile of notes and textbooks. He had his glasses on his dark curls were messily resting on his forehead, making him look as soft as ever.

Henry looked up from his notes.

“You’re not exactly floating, your steps are heavy,” Henry replied and leaned his back on the headboard, crossing his arms on his chest.

Armie sighed and sat down at the edge of his bed and placed his hands on his lap, clenching them and unclenching them a couple of times before gazing up at Henry.

“I’m sorry, I’m just nervous,” He mumbled, looking down at his hands.

Henry nodded softly and placed the book next to him on the bed before standing up and crossing the room. He sat down next to Armie and took his hands in his, giving them a gentle squeeze.

“I know, I’m sorry for acting up.” He dropped a gentle kiss to Armie’s shoulder and let his head rest there.

Armie leaned his head on Henry’s and sighed.

“I don’t want to call her. She’s always up to no good.” He mumbled, holding Henry’s hand a little tighter.

“I’ll be here, okay? You can put her on speaker if you want so you won’t feel alone. We’ll deal with this together, like we always do.” Henry looked up at Armie with a gentle smile and nuzzled his nose on the underside of Armie’s jaw in an affectionate way.

Armie smiled, tilting Henry’s face towards him and without a second thought, he pressed a chaste kiss on Henry’s lips.

“You’re right,” He whispered before leaning in to kiss him again because it was just that easy.

Henry leaned into the kiss and closed his eyes, enjoy the feeling of Armie’s lips on his and feeling deep inside like he had missed them.

He pulled back before things could escalate, thinking about Harry and how he didn’t want to mess things up between them, even though he was wary of the British man sometimes.

“Let’s call her up shall we?” He offered gently and fetched Armie’s phone from his night table, passing it to him.

Armie nodded while breathing in deeply and unclocked his phone, going to his contacts and finding his mother’s number.

He glanced at Henry for the encouragement he needed, which quickly came with a nod and a reassuring smile.

He pressed the contact and put it on speaker, his heart picking up the pace from the tones of the rings.

“Look who remember that he has a mother at the other side of the world,” His mother’s voice said after a couple of rings, and Armie felt his stomach tighten from the bitter sarcasm coating her voice.

“Hello, mother,” He politely greeted her, not wanting to raise the tones, knowing it wouldn’t end well if he did.

“Where the hell have you been Armie? I was calling you the whole weekend only for my calls to go straight to voicemail. Where you with that French Twink boy of yours?” Armie swallowed and tensed, his shoulder’s squaring as he sat up straight, feeling already ready to snap.

Henry soothingly ran his hand up and down Armie’s back slowly, trying to get his friend to ease the tension on his body.

“His name is Timothée.” Armie gritted his teeth.

“Oh you think I don’t know? I’m well aware of the name of his skinny ass. I just decided I like French Twink more. It suits him with his stance and your built.” He could hear the smirk in her voice, the way she unashamedly spoke of his lover in such way made him sick.

“What do you want, mum?” He pressed, trying to change the subject.

“I’m worried about you,” She said, causing him to laugh out loud.

“You’re worried about me?”

“Yes, Armie. Because you are a gullible idiot and you have no idea with who you’re hanging out and with who you’re fucking the whole weekend.” Armie paused to look at Henry, who looked at him with a mirrored confused expression on his face.

“What was that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’ve been sleepwalking this entire time while people are taking advantage of you and you don’t realise it because you’re so blinded by a love which will quickly fade away,” His mothers voice was harsh and cold, she wasn’t yelling, but it made Armie want to cower away.

“Can you be more specific?” He asked after swallowing the lump in his throat.

“You have no idea with who you’re dealing with have you, Armie? From where do I even start, your French Twink or the Shadow Twins?” Freya asked the last part more to herself than Armie.

Henry looked at him, blinking slowly as he mouthed ‘the shadow twins’ in confusion.

“What do you mean The Shadow Twins, mum?” Armie asked, his voice small as he held Henry’s hand tighter.

“The twins you hang out with, they are like shadows. I can’t track them or trace them back to anyone. There is no family information, no criminal record. Nothing, It’s like they do not exist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! Happy November to every single one of you! I hope you have a great one!  
> Thank you so so much for the comments on the last chapter, I promise you I read them all, I just you know, forgot to answer as usual.. But I will right now!  
> I think this chapter is one of my favourites, the next one too. It was so much fun to write and I hope you guys will enjoy reading it!   
> Leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think, kudos are always very appreciated as well.  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next week!  
> Bisous x

November was a day away, which only meant that the cold would start becoming more and more unbearable as December and the colder months neared and made it would make itself present in everyone’s hearts and souls, something Timmy wasn’t too happy about.

The past week had been hard for him, getting used to staring at someone he used to have, from afar, stealing longing glances at him while he ever so gracefully walked through the hallways with the most icy stare yet the warmest and burning touch wasn’t easy. Especially when the said man wasn’t even sparing him a glance, which would mean everything to Timmy if their eyes momentarily met.

He knew that Alex was doing it for him, because he believed that he was helping Timmy to be happy and be with the man he loved, but Timmy didn’t know if he wanted to accept Alex’s actions, even though he already had in a way, or hurl something at his head and yell at him that he loved him. Because he didn’t know if he was just comfortable around Alexander and he didn’t want to lose the feeling of familiarity and safety by being with Armie who was something new and not as comfortable.

Timmy felt as if his feelings were running in circles, in a never-ending loop which made him crazy because he couldn’t stop it and be happy with whoever he wanted.

The situation with Armie wasn’t that much better either. When they were together, Armie was lost inside his head, not paying attention to Timmy while he talked and stared off to distance but he spent most time holed up in his room with Henry.

Whenever  Timmy asked him if he was okay or what’s going on, the spell around Armie would break and he would come back to reality for a couple of minutes, to pull Timmy in his embrace and tell him that he was just tired due to homework or his long lectures which became more and more exhausting.

Timmy understood and gently kissed Armie while holding him tighter, craving the affection and love to ease his racing subconscious which relentlessly came up with bad scenarios.

In the evenings when he wasn’t with Armie, he spent time at one of the many open ateliers, with his headphones in distancing himself from reality and focusing on creating art from his frustration till the only thing he knew were mixtures of colours and different universes depicted on papers instead of the people close to his heart.

Surprisingly enough, the person who was mostly by Timmy’s side and made sure he was okay was Saoirse. She was the one who comforted him and held him when his feelings got too mixed up in his head, and he felt like punching a hole through his canvas and throwing things around. And even though she probably had picked up on the obvious tension between him and Alexander, she didn’t comment on it, nor she talked about how good things between her and Alex were going since the day he and Alex parted ways.

He sometimes caught her staring at the necklace resting on his chest which he would clench in his hand and take between his lips whenever he stepped back to take a look at his unfinished painting, pretending that Alex was there with him, his arms wrapped around Timmy’s small body and his chin on Timmy’s shoulder as the smaller boy requested his opinion. Saoirse would smile at him, almost as if she understood and knew why he did what he did.

Although he didn’t want to admit it, not even to himself, he was slightly jealous of Saoirse. Not only of her shiny blonde hair and her bright blue eyes and her gorgeous features but mostly because of her sweet lips which got to kiss and taste the man he craved and her hands who got to grip and hold and caress the man’s skin. Timmy found himself looking at her with envy a lot of times when she was painting or walking away from him to go meet with the hetero chromatic eyed man, and Timmy wished he could be her for a moment, because she had so easily gotten everything he wanted.

And on that early Wednesday evening, when Saoirse ditched her easel and watercolours and made her way to the door where Alexander was leaning on the wooden frame, looking like a majestic ancient greek statue putting to shame all the replicas of various statues such as Venus De Milo and David standing proudly in the room for the students to model off from, Timmy wanted nothing more than be the one, the British man wrapped his arms around and leaned down to gently kiss on the lips.

When Saoirse took Alex’s hand and brought him close to where Timmy was standing clutching his mixing palette and a flat brush, his heart ached and jumped with relief when Alexander just stood next to her, holding her hand as he voiced his thoughts on the work in progress of the assignment she was given instead of hugging her from behind like Alex always did with him.

Then suddenly, Alexander turned to him, and Timmy felt like he forgot how to breathe. Alexander’s eyes and expression, as usual, were giving away none of his thoughts or feelings as he took in Timmy’s slightly disheveled state, with his pretty curls pulled away from his face with an elastic had lent him, small dots of paint littering his face, hands and clothes.

Alex’s expression softened when his eyes landed on the delicate pendant resting safely on Timmy’s chest, and their gazes met for a second which was passed way too quickly for Timmy’s liking and the small boy couldn’t help but silently beg for Alex to turn his attention back to him.

“Will you stay with us for a while? I haven’t seen you all day,” Saoirse said softly looking up at Alexander, voicing Timmy’s want to be under Alex’s light for a few more seconds.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a distraction and get in your way,” Alexander replied, his eyes darting towards Timmy before Timmy could process it and met Saoirse’s again.

“You won’t be a distraction, and we both want you here, right, Timmy?” Saoirse turned to him with a small mischievous smile, knowing exactly what she was doing, and Timmy didn’t know if he loved her or hated at that moment.

“You’re more than welcome to stay.” Came Timmy’s shy and soft reply, finalising the decision, which was already made even before he talked.

Alexander nodded slowly.

“Okay, then,” He mumbled and smiled softly at Saoirse, who was beaming at him.

“Great, I’m gonna get some clean water, and I’ll be right back,” Saoirse smiled at Timmy and then at Alex before walking away, holding her cup of water in her hand.

Timmy breathed in deeply and turned to his easel, away from the stripping gaze of the British man.

He lifted his brush towards his canvas, to find his hand pathetically trembling.

He let out a long sigh and lowered his head and his hand again and shut his eyes, trying to get himself together, feeling stupid for reacting this way to Alex, who seemed to be as uncomfortable as he was, with his tall frame towering almost everyone in the room which made him stick out like a sore thumb and the way he awkwardly stood, not knowing what to do with himself.

Timmy felt a hand touch his trembling one, in the most gentle way possible, and he suddenly felt boneless.

“You’re tense,” Alexander’s velvety low voice and breath tickled Timmy’s ear, causing a shiver to run down his spine.

He swallowed and nodded, refusing to turn and face the handsome British man, knowing very well, that his frail legs wouldn’t be able to hold him up if he saw the look of concern on his face.

“I’m just tired,” He replied, his voice small.

Alexander didn’t reply, and Timmy knew it was because the older boy had seen through his lie.

“Teach me how to draw,” He said after a few awkward filled seconds.

“What?” Timmy asked with furrowed eyebrows, not taking his eyes off their touching hands.

“Teach me how to draw,” Alexander said more firmly this time and stepped closer to Timmy, invading his space and comfort zone, till his chest was gently resting against Timmy’s back and he wrapped his fingers a little tighter around the thin brush, guiding it towards the canvas in front of them.

“What are you doing?” Timmy whispered letting go of the brush and wrapped his hand around Alex’s wrist, placing his fingers above the man’s pulse, feeling it beating gently against his own skin, letting himself know that this stolen moment was real as it could be.

“Letting you know that although I try not to think about you, you’re always on my mind and I can’t stand not being close to you, not touching you, even small, subtle touches could ease my hunger, like these,” Alex replied tangling taking Timmy’s other hand in his, their fingers instantly lacing with each other, almost like it was muscle memory.

 “And the silence, petal, it’s deafening, and it is tearing me apart little by little,” The older boy continued, pressing his nose in Timmy’s hairline, breathing him in, easing his mind and Timmy’s at the same time.

“You’ve been missing from me,” Timmy quietly said as he positioned Alex’s hand correctly on the brush before placing his over Alex’s and slowly started guiding their hands to leave gentle strokes down the canvas.

“You’ve been missing from me too, my petal,”

 

\--

 

“I really don’t understand how you are so calm about it,” Armie said glancing up from his book at Henry who was laying on his front on his bed going through his notes.

Henry sighed and turned to look at his friend.

“For the thousand time Armz, I don’t see what’s so bad about the fact that there’s nothing about them such as a criminal record or something along those lines. Because it simply means that they are clean and we can trust them, and they’ve been telling us the truth all along. I’d be more worried if they had a criminal record or there was some kind of evidence against them which could probably tell us that they can tie them back to something criminal, but since there isn’t, it means they are just a little eccentric.”

“What if there is something, but they can’t find it because they are just that good at their jobs and they don’t leave a single trace of evidence behind them?” Armie pressed.

“We are talking about your mother, Armie. If Freya wants to find something, she finds it. Her people in the CIA are not playing around, neither Interpol and you know that. You have to stop worrying, love.” Henry said, pushing himself off his bed and kneeled between Armie’s spread legs, hugging his middle.

“I don’t know if you’re saying these to calm me down or calm yourself down because you like Harry that much,” Armie mumbled running his fingers through Henry’s raven hair.

“I’m saying it because it’s the truth and because I know how much you like Timmy and you want him to be real in this world full of deceiving bastards,” Henry replied, laying his head on Armie’s stomach.

“What does Timmy have to do with any of this?” Armie asked, looking down at his friend.

“What? You think that if something _was_ up with the twins, he wouldn’t know or he wouldn’t be part of their world? You heard Freya, what he has told you, about his family, how he met the twins it’s all true. Which means they are all real, Armie. We are safe and allowed to love them and trust them,” Henry whispered, looking up at his friend.

Armie didn’t immediately answer. He took a few seconds to wrap his head around Henry’s words. It made sense, he knew it did, but there was something in his gut which was telling him otherwise.

“I want to confront them about it, see their expressions to understand if they are telling the truth or not, and I don’t know, maybe hire someone to look further into them.” He finally said.

He felt Henry nod and wrap his arms a little tighter around him.

“Let’s talk to them first, see what they have to say and if you still feel like there’s something wrong we can hire someone.”

 

\--

A little while later, Armie and Henry along with Harry and Timmy, were waiting for Alexander’s and Saoirse’s arrival at a quiet café a few blocks away from the university.

Timmy was reminded by that dreadful Friday before the departure of the twins, and he slowly came to realise that this was the first time after weeks they were going to be all together in one room, hanging out.

Henry and Armie lifted their heads as Alexander entered the café, holding Saoirse by the hand, his expression unreadable as he made his way towards them.

When they reached the table, Alex pulled the chair for Saoirse who shyly smiled at him before sitting down across from Timmy. They Alex took a seat between her and Harry, across from Armie.

Unlike their last get together, where the atmosphere was light and there were chatter and giggles going on, everyone was quietly staring at each other with underlying feelings of suspiciousness, wonder, with secret loving and reassuring touches under the table as they got ready to blind each other with more lies, till one of them found out them found the edge of the thread and pulled it, starting to unravel the lie and get to one of the truths which would make the whole thing come undone.

At a certain moment if felt like every single one of them seemed to be holding their breaths as the two Alpha males, Armie and Alexander, made eye contact from across the table.

Timmy swallowed harshly looking at Saoirse and then at Harry, silently hoping they would do something to cut the thick tension between them, afraid that if nobody cut it, it would cut them.

When they had received the texts from Armie saying that he wanted to talk to them, Timmy’s hair had immediately stood and his fearful eyes met Alex’s who didn’t have an inch of worry in them, as if he had been expecting the whole thing to happen.

Timmy had left first to meet Armie in his dorm so they could go together to the café where they would all gather and allow Alex and Saoirse a few moments of privacy.

He had asked Armie what this was all about, but he hadn’t received an answer from Armie. The only thing he had said was that Timmy was going to find out soon enough.

So now that they were all around the table, Timmy didn’t know how he was supposed to feel. His eyes constantly moved from tense his lover to the overly calm love of his life, yet he was fearing to see who was going to snap first.

“Would you like anything to drink?” Henry broke the awkward silence and Timmy was more thankful for his presence than ever.

“I’ve already ordered for you,” Timmy said in a soft voice, looking at Alexander. All eyes were suddenly on him, and Timmy wanted to cower away, regretting speaking up in the first place.

“Thank you, petal.” Alexander’s reply was short but perfectly worded, letting the smaller boy know that everything was okay and even though their relationship had been put on ice, to the older boy Timmy was still the apple of his eyes.

Timmy smiled at him, and even though Alex didn’t return his smile, his eyes looked a little brighter.

Alex turned to Armie then and placed his hands on the table as he sat up straighter, eyeing the older boy.

“What did you want to talk to us about?” He questioned.

Armie cleared his throat and leaned forward, mimicking Alex’s position.

“I have a couple of things I want to share with all of you finally. Some of you know them, but some of you don’t, and since we’re friends I want to come clean,” Armie replied.

The twins along with Saoirse nodded slowly, and Harry leaned forward as well before speaking up, representing him and his brother.

“We’re happy to know you trust us enough to talk to us about your secrets,” Saoirse nodded at Harry’s words and Alex remained quiet, choosing to just stare at Armie.

Armie nodded and took a deep breath.

“My last name is Hammer instead of Adler. My family is the well known Hammer family in America who has the Hammer Holdings as well as some other companies.” He said, looking at his friends, and doing what he detested the most, using his name as his power to let them know that he could gain control over anything, a sick trick his mother had taught him.

He looked at his three friends across from him, taking in their reactions.

Alexander was still calm and collected since he already knew the information Armie was revealing, his attention was no longer on Armie as he idly played with a thin chain around his wrist, but he seemed to be listening to what the blonde man was saying.

Harry didn’t look too shocked, and Armie was honestly not sure what kind of reaction he was expecting from him, while Saoirse, looked sympathetic.

Saoirse smiled at him gently and placed her hand, comfortingly above his.

“I’m sorry about your father, Armie,” She said, her voice soft and Armie nodded with a small thank you.

“Why did you change your last name?” Harry inquired, tilting his head to the side. Alex turned to look at his brother for a second but didn’t say anything. The two identical men just shared a look, before Alex went back to playing with his chain, a slight frown on his impeccable features.

“I didn’t want to carry such a heavy name on my shoulders, so many responsibilities and expectations came along with it,” Armie easily replied in a way which almost sounded rehearsed, and Harry pursed his lips as he nodded in a way which could be taken as understanding.

“Which leads me to the second thing,” Armie said and leaned back on his chair as the waiter approached, carrying their drinks. He placed them in front of them and just as promised, there was a black coffee for Alex.

When the waiter walked away, Armie continued.

“My mother and I don’t have a good relationship. She’s very controlling and cunning, and she likes to keep everyone under her radar and know everything about them, I guess it comes because of her work, but anyway, she hired someone to look into your lives without my consent obviously,” He said and waited a couple of seconds for a reaction, a twist of eyebrows or a change in twins’s postures but nothing came.

“She did the same with Timmy too, she didn’t need to do with Henry obviously since she knows him well enough to declare him as harmless,” Henry snorted behind his cup of coffee and Armie smiled turning to look at him.

“Did she do it with me too?” Saoirse asked with a playful smile on her lips, looking unbothered about the whole situation and almost as if she was finding all this very entertaining.

Armie paused for a second.

“No she didn’t even mention you,” He replied, making the blonde-haired girl chuckle.

“Guess she thinks I’m just as harmless as Henry,” She said winking at the raven-haired man causing him to laugh.

“Did she find anything, though?” Harry questioned, and Armie shook his head with a light smile feeling more at ease already.

“Nothing at all, no criminal records, no ties with criminal organisations, you guys are all clean.” He replied.

“Why, did you have any secrets you didn’t want to be exposed?” Henry asked in a teasing voice, but Armie knew he was one hundred per cent serious.

“What would life be without a few skeletons in your closer, Henry dear?” Harry said, his lips lifting up in a smirk which was far from innocent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on tumblr @timotheemonamour


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! How are you all? I hope you all had a lovely week. I'm so sorry for the delay I was busy as hell yesterday and when I finally had some time to relax I fell asleep.. *crickets* I know, I know. Anyway! Here it is! And I hope you guys will like it.   
> Please leave me a comment down below telling me what you guys think, kudos are always very welcomed as well!  
> Alright you guys, I'll see you all next Saturday  
> Bisous x

Harry stared at his twin, who was hunched incredibly still over the window of their shared dorm. The younger twin had been awfully quiet since their meeting with their friends the previous evening, and although Harry knew first hand that Alex was characteristically quiet, this time it felt like something was eating him.

“A penny for your thoughts, brother mine?” Harry said, interrupting the thick silence. He saw Alexander tense at the sound of his voice almost as if he was so consumed in his thoughts that he hadn’t realised Harry had returned from his coffee run.

“I just feel like there is something that we’re not seeing in this situation,” Alex mumbled and pushed away from the window, his naked feet padding towards his bed, where he sat down and looked at his twin.

“You have an intuition?” Harry questioned and sat on the edge of his bed.

“No, not at all. I put down everything, and I realised that either there’s a piece missing, or somebody has been slipping or perhaps protecting us,” Alexander replied.

“Protecting us? What do you mean, Alex?”

Alex sighed, rubbing his temples and shook his head.

“I could be wrong but look, Freya put someone to dig up our pasts, and Armie said that they found nothing which to me sounds highly suspicious,”

“Why would it be? You know that the Secret Services covered up everyone’s tracks and information about everyone who works for them after the leak in Vienna.” Harry questioned, furrowing his eyebrows, trying to understand where his brother was coming from.

“Exactly, Harry! Everything about all agents, became sensitive information _after_ Vienna. Which means that if anyone who’s good or even decent at their job and could access the Vienna files, they could have easily found out about us,”

Harry exhaled heavily, finally understanding what Alex meant.

“And you think that since the information never reached Freya, someone’s protecting us,”

“Precisely, or they haven’t gotten to us yet, and they are about to,”

“Can’t we do something about the files?” The green-eyed man asked his brother.

Alex shrugged.

“I can’t possibly know. We might have to ask someone from inside to help us,” He replied.

“You think they will possibly help us if we tell them about the situation we’re?”

“Possibly, if they don’t the whole plan will combust, and we’ll be in real danger,”

“My question is why it happened now,” Harry mumbled looking at his brother.

Alex shook his head.

“I have no idea, H. But I fear that it has some kind of connection with Armie’s father murder,”

“You mean she might be trying to get rid of everyone who knows the truth or is getting close to finding it?”

“It’s a possibility. Perhaps she found out that we’ve been trying to take her down and she’s trying to get rid of those who have proof, but if it's true then we’ll have to keep a closer eye on Armie because he’ll probably be first on Freya’s list,” Alexander placed his hands on his lap and looked out of the window.

“What about Henry and Timmy?” Alex shook his head and pursed his lips standing up from his bed.

“I don’t even want to imagine Timmy in danger,” Alex said and grabbed his boots from beside the door and put them on.

“We have to talk with the Director and Father, and possibly regroup, come up with an alternative plan,” Harry said, watching his brother as he gathered his stuff.

“You do that if you want but I can’t right now, Harry, I need air,” Alexander mumbled putting on his coat.

“You’ve been half hanging out of the window for hours! How much more air do you need?” Harry exclaimed.

“You’re going to control my intake of air now, Harry?” Snarled Alexander as he made his way to the door.

“Be careful, okay?” Harry said only to be waved off by Alexander, who was already halfway out of the door.

Alexander made his way down the marble staircase, his mind overworking with dreadful scenarios, of Timmy being hurt because he couldn’t protect him.

When he stepped outside, and the cold air hit his face, Alexander felt faint and disoriented as if he didn’t know where he was at, didn’t know where to go, where to run or who to run to. His chest was burning, and sweat was gathering on his hairline.

He leaned on a pillar, gasping and parting his lips and breathed deeply trying to keep at bay the panic attack which was coming on full force and slow down his racing heart.

“Hey, hey are you okay?” Alex heard Henry’s voice ask as he approached him with quick steps and placed a comforting hand on Alexander’s back. The British man would have usually shrugged away the touch, but right now it seemed to do the trick to help him focus all of his senses on something to bring him back to the surface and catch his breath.

Alex nodded slowly and shut his eyes, refusing to look at Henry, the self-loathing and pity rising once more, while a voice in his head screamed at him how pathetic he was for letting someone else see one of his weakest moments.

“Let’s sit down for a second, shall we?” Henry’s voice was soft as he gently and with small movements guided the taller man sit down on the steps before lowering himself on the spot next to him.

Henry bit his lower lip as he took a look at Alexander. The man was breathing with difficulty, his chest rising and falling unevenly, his hands trembling at his sides and tears were gathered in his different coloured eyes, while all of the colour seemed to have drained from his face.

Henry found it unsettling, seeing a strong and man like Alexander falling from grace like he was. He felt an ache in his heart for the man, something he would have never imagined himself feeling but there he was, and he wanted to stay by his side and make sure he was alright even though a part of Henry was scared that once Alex came to his senses he would snap at him and bat him away.

“Can you listen to my voice and do as I tell you?” He gently asked, stroking Alex’s back.

He saw Alex nod as a tear rolled down his cheek before disappearing between his lips and Henry wanted to hold the broken man.

“Okay, good, you’re doing so good. Now breath with me okay? It will be over in a few,” Henry offered a sincere smile at Alex and removed his hand from Alex’s back to take one of Alex’s in his and slowly started to breathe with him.

Henry stroked Alex’s hand as they slowly breathed in and out together, with Henry gently praising Alex for how good he was doing and reminding him that whatever he was panicking about was not worth it and how it’s not as bad as it is in his head.

When Alexander gained back his breath, Henry gave him a couple of minutes to get himself together, wipe his tears and breath in deeply.

“Thank you,” The British man whispered in a hoarse voice, and Henry nodded at him with a soft smile.

“Don’t mention it. Would you like me to bring you some water?” Alexander shook his head.

“No, thank you, I’m good,” He replied, smiling tight lipped at Henry.

Henry nodded and looked down at their intertwined hands, wanting to give the man a few more minutes of peace while he wondered what had stressed Alexander so bad to cause him a panic attack.

“Where did you learn how to do this?” Alex questioned after a couple of minutes.

“I used to have panic attacks all the time when I was in high school,” Henry shrugged nonchalantly.

“You had panic attacks?” Alex’s voice was gentle, knowing that he was prying at sensitive subjects.

“Constantly,” Henry replied in the same tone as Alex.

“I was badly bullied because of how I looked,” He continued, lowering his gaze.

He felt Alex’s eyes on him but didn’t look up at him.

“The world can be cruel,” Alexander stated and tore his gaze away from Henry, but gave his hand a gentle squeeze, letting him know that he understood him, he knew how Henry felt in more ways than the blue-eyed man could ever imagine.

“In more ways than one,” Henry agreed with Alex.

Alex then wondered if he knew his parents were actually murdered and if he was talking about that. He looked at the raven-haired man, a million questions running through his head as he took in his features, the chiseled chin and sharp jawline, the soft cheekbones and red from the cold wind cheeks. His eyes then focused on Henry’s who was looking back at him, and noticed a brown spot inside his left eye.

“What?” Henry asked, furrowing his eyebrows, looking away from Alex trying to contain his shiver because of Alex’s scorching gaze.

Alex shook his head.

“Nothing, I just realised you have a bit of brown in your left eye,” He mumbled.

Henry nodded slowly.

“My mother had it too, I saw it on a picture once when I was younger,” He said softly looking down at his lap and pulled his hand away from Alex to tuck a few pieces of hair away from his face.

Alex stayed quiet taking in the new information, not entirely knowing what to say. He wanted to ask Henry if he remembered them at all, if he missed them and what kind of parents Armie’s family, especially Freya, was to him, but decided to stay quiet, figuring out that through most of his life, Henry would have been frequently questioned all these things.

He heard Henry chuckle after a few seconds of quiet as they stared at some of the students pass by them.

Alex turned to him, since it was now his turn to inquire what was going on.

Henry’s smile was bright as he laughed.

“Just surprised me, that’s all. For a man who notices everything with a blink of an eye, you don’t notice some of the most obvious things,” Henry said, regretting it mere seconds later when Alexander’s body went rigid, and his eyes darkened, his features suddenly set tight due to whatever thought crossed Alex’s peculiar mind.

Henry stuttered, desperately looking for a way to apologise, take his words back, afraid he had overstepped the line with his words, but then Alex’s hand was on his thigh.

Alex was looking at him again, this time without a trace of darkness on his face, making Henry question if what he had seen come and go so quickly was a game of his mind.

“Well, the thing is, whatever I consider obvious are leagues away of what a mere human does.”

 

\--

Alexander marched down the hallways towards the ateliers where he knew he would find Saoirse, with long and purposeful strides.

His heart beat quicker with each step he took closer to the atelier, a part of him refusing to believe the truth which was so clearly lying ahead of him.

He stopped for a second on the doorframe, his trained eyes immediately landing on Saoirse who was laughing in glee at something Timmy was telling her.

Alex stared at her, trying to understand how such a bright person like her could hide so much darkness. He looked and looked and looked, searched but found not even an inch of darkness around her presence. Instead, she was playful and giggling as she splattered paint on Timmy’s soft cheek.

How could she hide the darkness that came along with their job?

And most importantly, how could she so spectacularly deceive all of them, especially him.

He breathed in and as calmly as he could manage, made his way towards her and the giggling beauty.

Saoirse noticed him first, her smile widened, and her blue eyes seemed to sparkle a little brighter. Alexander almost stopped breathing at the sight of her, his mind screaming at him that he was wrong and there was no way this bright and kind natured creature kept secrets as dark as his.

He moved towards them, masking his agitation with a smile which easily came at the sight of his sweet Timothée smiling at him with two streaks of blue and green down his cheek.

The British man leaned down and pressed a kiss on Timmy’s other, unmarked cheek before moving to Saoirse and placed his hand on her waist, bringing her closer to him.

“We need to talk, alone,” His tone was sharp, almost like a hiss in Saoirse’s ear but his expression remained pleasant for the sake of Timmy and everyone else in the room.

Saoirse looked up at him with confused eyes but nodded, taking his hand and following his lead down the hallways and the stairs to Alexander’s empty dorm.

Alexander locked the door the second they stepped in and turned to Saoirse, motioning her to take a seat on his bed. The blonde reluctantly did, as her eyes quickly took in her surrounding, focusing for a few more seconds on the door, window and the four corners of the wall where it met the ceiling and just by that, Alexander understood that his assumptions once more were correct.

“Give me your phone,” He calmly said, extending his hand towards her.

Saoirse stared at his extended hand before reaching in the pocket of her jeans and pulled out her phone, handing it at him, slowly understanding what he was doing.

Alex quickly turned the phone off before opening it and taking the battery out. He then placed it on the night table next to his which was in the same state.

“How long have you known about Harry and I?” He inquired, sitting on Harry’s bed across from her.

Saoirse played with her paint-covered fingers, small pieces of hair which had escaped her messy bun fell in front of her face as she lowered her head.

“I found everything out a little while after I met you. After I got to know you as a person,” Saoirse replied and gazed up at him as her words were meant to explain everything.

“Why didn’t you hand over the information when you got your hands on our files?”

“Because what I found was more useful to me than Freya, because we’re fighting for the same purpose, we have something in common,” Saoirse replied making Alexander pause and look at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“And what could that possibly be?”

“My brother was on the plane, the one which never made it back home from Vienna,” Saoirse replied, her soft voice broke at the end of her sentence.

Alexander could only look at the blonde girl across from him, with his lips parted open, his mind suddenly empty from the information he had just received.

“Your brother?” He asked gently, wanting to know more but also not wanting to cause her any more distress than she was feeling.

“Lawrence Ronan, I called him Laurie,” Saoirse smiled softly, but her blue eyes held nothing but pain.

Alexander breathed in sharply and nodded, placing his head in his hands for a few seconds before looking back up at her. He remembered him, he was one of the sharpest men Alex had ever come across in his life. And the longer he stared at Saoirse, the more he could see the similarities in their features, from the striking blue eyes to the strong bone structure.

“I knew him, we had done a couple of missions together. He was one of our best men,” Alexander replied truthfully.

“He was a good man, just like you,” Saoirse said softly.

“How did you end up working for Freya?” Alexander questioned.

“The CIA wanted to have an insider in her businesses and find out what she was doing because the income of her companies started to become higher and higher than she could warrant,” Saoirse explained.

“At first I thought that she was just into money laundering, but then I started digging and the things I found out terrified me. The jobs with the guns, the drugs, the companies she ruined and bought, all the murders in cold blood because someone got too close to the truth, including all those people on the plane and my brother’s. But as you already know, to all of these there was absolutely no proof, just speculations.” She continued.

“On that plane was Timmy’s stepmother,” Alexander said, making Saoirse look up at him with wide eyes.

“She was one of us?” Alexander nodded.

“She worked with the French Government and MI6, she was one of the first people who had pointed out that Henry’s parents were murdered,”

“It was the first murder, wasn’t it?”

“It was. Henry’s father had proof for all the money laundering and the offshore’s, which was quickly after destroyed,” Alexander replied.

“Richard death, it was murder too, wasn’t it?”

“Yes, it was the exact same way as Henry’s parents, same pattern, which was what gave her away,”

“Armie must be next,” The blonde said looking up at the British man. Alexander nodded in agreement and chewed on his lower lip.

“I’ve been thinking about that too,” He replied.

“What does Harry say about the whole thing?” The small girl questioned, pushing her hair away from her eyes.

“That we should keep an eye on him, perhaps contact the embassy to get him security without him knowing it,”

“Don’t you think he should know that he is in danger?” Alexander smiled softly.

“He already knows, love. He knows ever since the death of his father. He too thinks she murdered him, he has been speculating the same thing about Henry’s family,”

“Do we exactly know why he left America?”

“He found out about the gun transport,” Saoirse nodded.

“So he knows,”

“He does, and it might get him in even more serious trouble than he already is in. By making the mistake of not speaking up to get the case going again, the police could possibly charge him as an accomplice,”

“You think it might happen?”

Alexander pursed his lips and shrugged.

“I can’t possibly know. His father sent Harry and I to protect Armie which makes me believe that the Secret Services are aware that Armie knows, so it’s less likely for him to get accused and arrested,” Alexander explained and got up, moving towards the window and opened it, letting the cold November air get in.

They both remained quiet for a couple of minutes, each one of them taking the time to stomach what had just happened and realise how different their world was then the wonderland they had created in their heads.

Saoirse was the first to speak up, her words hitting Alex in a way which almost had his legs buckling over.

“Does Timmy know? About Armie, or you two?”

“As far as I’m concerned no, he doesn’t know about Armie. And knowing him and what kind of a naturally anxious creature he is, he would have been shaking right now and clinging on to someone for support. And about us, no. He doesn’t, and I’d very much like to keep it that way, forever if possible.”

“You know that at some point you’ll have to tell him the truth, right?” She asked, looking up at him.

“I know, but I’ll never have the courage to do something like that. I won’t be able to bear the look of hurt on his face, the disappointment and disgust, because let’s face it, being an agent who has been in the special forces also makes you a killer,” Alexander replied, leaning on his hands on the window sill.

“I think he would love you the same,” Saoirse said, standing up and walking towards him, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Alexander shook his head, completely disagreeing with her.

“Nobody could ever love me,” He said, his voice holding just a hint of pain to match the ache in his heart.

“But I did. I fell for you even though I knew everything about you, Alex. And I know you might not recognise this to yourself but, unlike other agents, you still have your soul, and that’s what makes you stand out. You’re fair and smart, and you feel remorse and empathy, and it’s beautiful, Alex.” The blonde said, laying her head on his shoulder.

Alex allowed himself to believe her for a couple of seconds as he wrapped an arm around her and dropped a kiss on top of her head.

“I’m sorry I can’t love you back,” He said with honestly, looking down at her, his nose tenderly brushing her forehead.

“I’m not mad at all, I’ve never been. I like watching you and Timmy skirt around each other and ignoring your very obvious feelings.” She smiled up at him, letting out a soft giggle when the British boy scrunched up his nose.

“Are we that obvious?”

“Even a blind man could see your love. There’s an energy between the two of you when you’re together, an invisible thread that pulls you to each other if you’d like, but you keep your distance of each other because you are both cowards to give in to your desires,”

“Please, do not be the little devil on my shoulder,” Alex said, causing her to laugh.

“I’m an angel, excuse you!” He smiled down at her, and she did the same, tucking a loose curl behind his ear.

“You know, if I had met you first, I would have probably fallen in love with you. You’re a good person, very bright and I feel like an idiot of even thinking  that you have a dark side on you and you’ve been putting up an act all this time,”

“I don’t blame you for thinking poorly about me, but you’re truly an idiot if you think I don’t have a dark side. We all have one. I just let mine appear when I want it too, when I absolutely have to, which is you know, on missions and things like that,”

“How can you control it?” He asked, looking down at her once more.

“Because I’m afraid if I don’t, it will consume me, and I’ll become it. And I don’t want that to happen. If I were my dark side, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything, I wouldn’t be able to love, laugh with you right now like I am, and most importantly live. I’d be hidden in the shadows, and I like being in the sun although I burn easily,”

“You make it sound so easy,” He said gazing outside of the window, watching as the rain started falling, little white-winged angels from heaven shedding their tears for the sinners on earth, for those who had nobody to ache and pray for them.

“Because it is, but only if you choose to embrace it,” Saoirse replied, holding him a little tighter.

“I’m too broken,” She shook her head and dropped a kiss on his shoulder.

“Not broken, Alex. Just bent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up on tumblr @timotheemonamour


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